by K. G. Reuss
“Mrs. Owens. My wife,” I whispered, giving her a squeeze. “I mean, let’s live together. Let’s have sex. Let’s eat dinner together every night and wake up to one another every morning. Let’s make this real before our lives change and we go our separate ways. A few months where we play the parts. We don’t have to catch feelings, Lexicon. We can just go with the flow and let whatever happens, happen. Just be us.”
“Enemies with benefits,” she said.
“Mm, exactly. I’ll fuck you every day, Lexy. I’ll kiss you, and I’ll make you feel good. We can practice on one another without feelings getting involved. It’s fucking crazy, but I want it. I have to know…”
“You’re really drunk, Travis. Go to sleep.”
“Please think about it.” I brushed my lips against hers before hugging her to my body. “Please. I think I need you.”
Thirty-Five
Lexy
I stared down at Travis in my bed. It was seven in the morning, and I needed to get ready for class. His words from last night had left me breathless and unable to sleep as he drifted off immediately after saying them. And his kiss…
He had me in knots, unsure of what was going on.
I didn’t know if his words were true or just his drunk ramblings, but they clenched my heart. Even his talk about punching my prom date in the face. Travis had protected me back then, and I hadn’t even known about it.
His lips parted as he slept, his long lashes resting on his cheeks. His chest moved evenly. I placed a glass of ice water beside the bed along with two more pills for his headache I was sure he’d have.
Deciding that if he didn’t bring up last night then neither would I. Knowing he couldn’t stay in my bed all day, I reached out for him and gave him a gentle shake.
“Hey, Travis?”
He gave a grunt and opened his eyes.
“We have class. You should get up.”
He glanced around for a moment and then nodded sleepily. “Yeah, yeah. I’m up.”
“Good. I need to stop by the library before class. Lock up when you leave, OK?”
“Mmhmm,” he mumbled. “Five more minutes. Have a good day, OK?”
“Thanks.” I walked out of my bedroom and cast him one last look before closing the door.
My feet ached and my back was killing me by closing time. It had been ridiculously busy all day. When I arrived after class, the lunch rush was in full swing, so I hadn’t gotten a chance to eat lunch.
“Lexy, go home, honey,” Jackie, the middle-aged waitress, said as we wiped down tables at nine that night. “You were here all weekend and most of today.”
I hesitated, and she gave me a pointed look. “Get out of here before I push you out.”
“Thanks, Jackie.”
She winked at me as I backed away, eager to shower, eat, and sleep. I didn’t bother checking my phone, opting to enjoy the silence. When I got to my apartment building, I trudged upstairs, my feet screaming at me.
“Travis?” I said in confusion as I stepped into the apartment.
He glanced up at me from the kitchen counter, a white frilly apron over his jeans and t-shirt.
I chuckled at the flour in his hair and the bit of sauce on his cheek. His tongue was clamped between his teeth, like a child trying to tie his shoe. There was so much concentration on his face I had to swallow down my laughter.
“Hey, you’re home early. Ava said you were off at ten.”
I dropped my purse and keys on the table and wandered over to him, confused about why he was there. I hadn’t thought he was serious about us playing pretend for real, but there he was, standing in my kitchen trying to cook while wearing an apron my mom had made me for my birthday.
“Yeah. Things slowed down so I got to leave early.” I stared down at what he was doing, but his hands landed on my shoulders. “You’re quite possibly both the sexiest and cutest thing that’s ever been in my kitchen.”
He steered me away and pushed me down into a chair at the table. A grin spread on his face. “Sweetheart, you should put a mirror in here because you’re the sexiest and cutest thing that’s been in here.”
I blushed. “What are you doing here, Travis?”
“Making you dinner like you did for me when I was tired.” He went to the oven where the timer was dinging and pulled out a pan of bread.
“You didn’t have to.”
“I know.”
I watched as he continued working, a serious expression on his face.
“Will it be long?” I ventured, inhaling the garlic and cheese permeating the air. My stomach gave a growl, and I winced.
“Uh, that’s dependent on a few factors,” he murmured, swiveling back to the bubbling pot on the stove.
“I’m going to go take a shower. I’ll be right back.”
Travis nodded wordlessly, not looking at me as I rose to my feet and went into my bedroom. I quickly peeled off my work uniform and hopped into the shower, enjoying the delicious warmth.
Coming home to Travis was weird. I didn’t know what was going on. Had he been here all day? I needed to figure out what was going on. If he was serious last night…
My heart thudded hard at the prospect. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about his suggestion because I thought he was drunk. But what if? What if he was serious and wanted it?
I quickly brushed my hair and threw on a pair of leggings and tank top before heading back out to the kitchen.
“Where’s Ava?”
“She left around five. Said she was meeting someone,” Travis said, his gaze locked on me as I sat at the table.
“You didn’t come to class this morning,” I said quietly.
“Sorry about that. I had a counselor meeting I forgot about. I hoped my wife would share her notes with me.”
“Marriages are about sharing,” I said, staring deeply into his eyes.
He cleared his throat and twisted back to the counter where he lifted two plates and brought them over to the table. He placed one in front of me and then sat the other in front of his spot.
“Wow, Travis. This looks good,” I said, looking down at the chicken alfredo in front of me.
“I hope it is. It’s my first time making it.” He winced and shot me a goofy grin. “Hope you have life insurance because this shit might kill you.”
“It won’t.” I waved him off, digging my fork in. I was so hungry I would’ve probably eaten dirt in that moment.
The first mouthful had my cheeks heating from the tiny moan I emitted. It was delicious.
“Good?” Travis asked, his eyes wide.
“So good,” I answered, taking another bite.
He relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders, and dug into his own plateful. He grinned after swallowing. “Add chef to my resume.”
I chuckled. “Where’d you learn how to make this?”
He shrugged. “Google.”
“Wow. I’m impressed. This is really delicious, Travis.”
His cheeks flushed, surprising me. Travis never blushed. “I’m glad you like it. I wanted to make sure you had something to eat.”
“Thank you,” I murmured. “Really. I was so hungry.”
“You’re welcome, Lexicon.”
I smiled at the old nickname and continued devouring my meal, both of us silent. When I didn’t think I could eat any more, Travis took our plates and placed them in the dishwasher and stowed the leftovers in the fridge.
I wasn’t sure what to do. Was he staying? Going? Were we going to talk?
“I, uh, wanted to apologize about last night. I was really drunk and stupid. I hope I didn’t say anything out of line to upset you.” He leaned against the counter and folded his arms.
“Nothing too bad.” I gave him a forced smile.
“I remember what I asked you, Lexy,” he said after a moment of silence. “And I remember you didn’t answer me.”
I swallowed hard and licked my lips, not sure what to expect.
“Like you said, you were drunk—”
“I meant it.” He approached and knelt in front of me, his eyes locked on mine. “I absolutely meant what I asked. I just should’ve discussed it sober.”
“You mean, you-you were serious about all the other stuff? About living together, and dinners, a-a-and sex?”
“Lexy, when we walk out of this college in a few semesters, we’re done. We’ll walk into careers. New lives. New people. We’re being given an opportunity right now which could prepare us for all those things.” He squeezed my hand. “At some point in my life, I’ll probably end up married to someone who didn’t do it on a dare. I want to make sure I’m doing it right. It sounds insane, but we’re here. Right now. We could make sure we’re ready for all the big things.”
“You’re nuts.” I pushed him away and got to my feet so I could pace the living room. His gaze remained locked on me as I ran my fingers through my hair and hauled in deep breaths. “No. No. We can’t. It’s insane, Travis. And sex? You want to have sex with me?” I stopped and stared at him. “Why?”
He approached once again, this time reaching out for me. His hands landed on my waist as his stare roamed over my face.
“Aside from the obvious reasons?” he asked softly. “You’re already my wife. I’m your first. I can teach you a lot of things, Lexy. After this, you’ll date other guys. Fall in love with one. Make love to him.” His voice cracked, and he gave me a small, sad smile. “Are you ready for it?”
“I’m not,” I answered back. “But I-I’m not ready for this either.” I untangled myself from him. “I-I think you need to go, Travis.”
He nodded and looked down. “You’re right, but my offer still stands. We have all semester. Hell, we can stick it out through the holidays. We can do this for real. Experience all marriage has to offer without the danger of heartbreak or disaster. We both know this has an expiration date. We don’t have to be married on just paper.”
I didn’t turn around as he left my apartment, the door clicking closed behind him. I simply walked to my room and lay in bed, my heart threatening to leap from my throat.
If I didn’t want to do this, then what were these feelings in me?
I blew out a breath, deep in thought. Could I do it? Me and Travis. Together. For a whole semester. Enemies like always but with benefits.
He was right. We’d move on after college. He’d be a big football star. I doubted our paths would cross all that often once we left Rayton. We could do this and never have to see each other again once it was over.
No way. The idea was insane. I should ignore what he suggested. I needed to pretend tonight and last night didn’t happen. My feelings were far too confusing to traverse. We needed to stick to our original plan. That was the safe plan. But something else niggled at me. A tiny desire for Travis. What did that even mean?
I closed my eyes, too tired to think about it.
Thirty-Six
Travis
For weeks after that night in her apartment, I didn’t see Lexy outside of class. And in class, she refused to talk to me beyond polite conversation. She rushed off as soon as class was dismissed. She didn’t come out to the parties. She didn’t meet me when I sent texts about hanging out. Nothing. Outside of class, her only communication was emails with notes for our project. Her schedule was her go to excuse about not being able to meet with me.
I didn’t give her shit about it because her schedule did look rough. She’d picked up more hours at work. Now she had one day a week off and said it was dedicated to homework. In class, she looked exhausted. I wished there was something I could do for her. A real husband would. But the best I could do was not give her grief. So, as much as I hated it, I did what she wanted. We simply emailed our daily notes to one another, deciding to keep a journal of our communications and marriage. She sent me her finances. I sent her mine. I teased her in various texts, but her snarky replies weren’t there anymore. Sometimes her only response was silence.
If this was a taste of life after college, I hated it.
My quiet moment of introspection was interrupted by the front door opening.
“What’s up?” Alex asked, walking into the living room and flopping onto the couch. I appraised him from my seat on the chair where I was halfway watching some documentary on beef jerky. “You seem down in the dumps.”
I shrugged and took a sip of my beer. While Lexy was working on her own shit, I was too. Our schedules didn’t mesh well together. I worked my ass off with football, classes, working out and being at work, which to my credit, also happened to be at the gym.
“Our president has been acting weird lately,” Mason proclaimed, coming into the room, Jay and Brandon in tow.
“Heisman has it rough. He ain’t even tagging bitches anymore,” Brandon added.
I grunted.
“Yeah, man. What’s up with that?” Alex asked.
Jay shot me a wink. I ignored him. So far he’d kept my secret.
“You’re usually all about these parties we throw. You’ve been MIA the last few weeks. Stephanie’s been asking about you,” Alex continued.
“I’m doing the marriage project with Lexy. Fucking Stephanie or anyone else is out of the question. I promised I wouldn’t,” I answered, finishing my beer.
“Dude, I’m grateful you’re taking this seriously since it’s with my sister and all, but you’re acting weird. Has the lack of pussy gone to your head or something?”
I sighed and scrutinized Alex who stared back at me.
“No, man. Look.” I sat up. “When I sat down with Lexy in the beginning about this project, she gave me an outline. She wanted to report we couldn’t get through it because I’m a shithead who cheats. I’m not that guy, and her thinking I am kind of pissed me off. But it got me thinking…she’s probably not the only one who sees me that way.” I shrugged. “I don’t want to be that guy. So, I’m doing this to prove I’m not.”
“You’re crazy.” Brandon laughed. “Just go talk to Lexy about it. Tell her you need to get laid and do the project her way. And take the stupid ring off. It’s a cock block. Just because Lexy doesn’t fuck, doesn’t mean you have to suffer.”
I got to my feet the same time Alex did, both of us glaring at Brandon. His eyes widened, and he took a step back.
“Don’t fucking talk like that about my sister,” Alex hissed.
“Don’t talk about my wife like that,” I shouted at the same time.
“Sorry, man. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that or like anything. I’m just trying to help out.”
“I don’t need help,” I growled. I shook my head and backed away. I needed Lexy back. I needed our teasing and challenges and her flipping me off.
A new idea formed in my mind.
“Mason?”
“Yeah?” He stepped forward.
“I have an idea.”
He grinned. “Whatever it is, I’m in.”
I grinned back and gestured for him to follow me. This would be epic.
Thirty-Seven
Lexy
“Lexy, take the weekend off,” Ava proclaimed, coming into the living room.
I squinted up at her from where my focus had been on my homework in my lap and frowned.
“Why?”
“We’re going on an adventure!”
“Not going to Vegas again,” I said immediately.
“Not Vegas. And it’s not even the whole weekend, but since you’re always at work, and I miss my best friend, I think you should take a weekend off.” She blinked her eyes at me, pleading.
I laughed. “You’re never around either. Where have you been going every night?”
Her cheeks flushed.
“You and Collin?” I pressed. I’d made him the pie he’d requested, and he’d sent me a fruit basket as a thank you. It was cute and useful, considering I could just snag an apple instead of cooking when I was dead ass tired.
Her cheeks reddened again, and she shook her head. “No. But me and someone.”
“Who?” I sat forward, eager for her
to spill the tea.
Ava didn’t get locked down with just one guy. She liked to have fun and hadn’t had a serious boyfriend since high school. Because it ended so badly, I figured it had hurt her too much to bother again, so this was exciting news.
“I don’t want to jinx it.” She cleared her throat and swept her gaze away.
It must be serious. I’d accept that answer since she never pressured me about Travis.
“What did you want to do?” I asked, changing the subject.
She sat on the couch beside me. “The guys want us to hang out this weekend.”
“I’m not going to a party,” I started, but she shook her head.
“It’s not a party. I-It’s camping.”
“Camping?” I wrinkled my nose. “I thought you said it wasn’t a whole weekend thing.”
“It’s not.” She grasped my hands. “I mean, it’s not like Vegas. It’d be Alex, me, you, Mason, and Travis. The guys already have a site booked. We’re going to go hiking a-and other things—”
“What other things?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
She shrugged. “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll all be together!” Her hold on my hand tightened. “Lex, we’re almost out of college. Everything’s going to change. You and I won’t live together anymore. You’re going to get accepted at med school. And you’re going to be incredible! Some hospital will snatch you up afterward, and I’ll never see you again. Please. Let’s have all the adventures now before the chance is gone.” A tear leaked out of her eye as she stared at me.
“Oh, Ava,” I sniffled. Her words reminded me of Travis’s from weeks ago. I’d avoided him like the plague, my heart aching at his absence for reasons I chose not to explore. I’d argued with myself over why it was such a bad idea to do his plan. I’d convinced myself distance was key.
“Please, Lexy? The guys have everything we need. Tents, food, everything. They’ve paid for it all. You won’t have to worry about money since I know that’s your next argument. Please?”
