by R A Lewis
It wasn’t the most anonymous place for two young Valdir and their dragons, but Kalina didn’t see another option. She had wanted to continue south, to where no one that was loyal to Ethea would know who they were, but Nash had other ideas. He wanted to begin trading here. He said that the Valdir would need support from the south, especially with Ethea attacking their villages along the Great Grey Mountains. He wanted to be their southern emissary and merchant extraordinaire. He wanted to be their savior. Kalina just wanted some space, some peace and quiet. However, as the days wore on, she wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted anymore.
She walked down the crowded narrow street cut into the side of the cliff, a letter clutched tightly in her fist. Eira had told her that the Valdir sent letters through Wildhelm, and that they weren’t as cut off from the rest of the country as she had thought. So here she was, making her way towards the small post center in Amberharbor, a letter addressed to Leif pressed against her stomach, guilt making her hurry.
She had brought a decent sum of money with them when they’d left, her plan to buy more books, useful books, for the Valdir’s library the only thing that had kept her going the last few days. She spent all her spare time in the local book shops, perusing their meager selections, trying to find texts that might somehow help the Valdir. She’d found an obscure book on growing Emberweed, as well as a few tomes on farming, but nothing else worth spending the money on. Nash had spent his time down on the quay, trying to forge connections, buying merchants drinks, and discussing trade deals. He planned to write to Jormungand once he’d established contacts and convince him to send goods to trade. It was a slow process and to Kalina it seemed he just spent most of his time drinking.
The post center was cool and damp when she entered, the small bell above the door tinkling. Everything on the coast smelled slightly like mildew and she suddenly missed the warm smell of the mountain and the dusty rock they all had lived under. A short, round shopkeeper came out of a back room where she could hear the soft cawing of birds. She raised her eyebrows in surprise. The short man laughed, taking a cap off his balding head and wiping the sweat from it. It was still rather warm here in the south.
“Oh, yes. We use all sorts to carry letters here.” He eyed her silver hair before turning his attention to the letter she still clenched tightly. “For one that size I’ll need two silver pennies. It will have to go with a raven. They can only carry so much.” Kalina nodded, slowly loosening her fingers and handing the letter over before digging in her purse for the coins.
“Have I addressed it correctly?”
The man eyed it, and nodded.
“Yes, everything seems in order.”
He went into the back and came out with a stunning black raven on his arm, its feathers so black they were almost blue. He rolled the letter and slid it into a small, lightweight tube attached to the bird’s leg. Then he walked to the open window and let the bird launch from his fist, out over the harbor, before turning west across the straights. Kalina stood and watched it for a few minutes before turning back and thanking the man.
The street outside was crowded as she trudged back up the switchback to the top of the cliff. She paused, looking out over the blue straights, Ethea a greyish smudge on the horizon. She dreaded the long walk up the coast along the cliff to the small cave where they were staying with their dragons. They were forced to keep their dragons hidden. Valdir and silver hair stood out enough, but dragons would make them stand out even farther and might put them all in danger. So, she trudged up the cliff through the shrubs and stunted, windblown trees, looking around to ensure she wasn’t followed before ducking down a steep path to a small cave carved into the side of the cliffs.
Maska greeted her, snaking his large green head to sniff her clothing thoroughly as she entered. He was getting restless at being cooped up here, but Sitala did her best to keep him entertained. He was still growing fast, and was finally large enough to begin flying with her but she and Nash had deemed it too risky here, where the ships that frequently sailed the straights might see them. Feeding them had been a challenge, too, but Nash had rigged a fishing net to hang into the water below their cave and every day it was filled with enough fish to feed them all.
It was full dark outside, the only light a small fire she had built to cook her dinner. She was getting sick of fish. She was lying on her makeshift bed, her blankets pulled up over her head, when Nash came back. He was stumbling slightly when he made his way into the cave, collapsing onto his own bed before the sounds of his snores filled the cave. She remained awake, unclenching her teeth as he began snoring.
The first few days with Nash had been great. He’d taken her flying every evening until they had seen a ship and had to fly high into the clouds where it was hard to breath. He’d taken her to restaurants along the quay, and they’d talked about their dreams, Kalina finally letting herself begin to wonder at a life where she wasn’t a queen, where she could decide what she wanted from life.
But that had been short lived. After she had gone through the local libraries and bookstores, realizing how small a selection there really was, she began to doubt the decision. And Nash had begun spending nights at the taverns with the local merchants and she was suddenly left alone in an unfamiliar town. The excitement wore off and soon the guilt of leaving her people, (and Leif) behind began nagging at her.
So, she’d written him a letter, trying to explain herself. It’d taken her ten tries before she’d finally landed on words that might make sense. And now, waiting for a response was going to drive her mad. Especially if she had to listen to Nash snore every night while she waited. Finally she closed her eyes and drifted into a fitful sleep.
A week passed with little excitement. The small bookshop on the quay smelled like leather, paper, ink, and dust. It was a comforting smell for Kalina, and despite the anxiety and guilt that was plaguing her daily, she felt herself relax as she entered. The small bell above the door tinkled and she moved into the gloom of the shop, books almost immediately rising around her on either side in tall stacks that rose to the ceiling. The shop owner was named Dhalen, and he was a kind man, which was partly why this shop had quickly become her favorite. He bought and sold books that came in off the ships, and he had promised her that his inventory changed weekly. So she kept returning, hoping to find something good.
He bustled around the corner, his small stature and large bespectacled eyes making him seem owlish as he approached.
“Ahh, Kalina. Glad to have you back. I have a few books over here that might spark your interest.”
He walked right past her, gesturing for her to follow. He led her to a large counter at the front of the shop where books were stacked. He went around the other side of the counter and pulled a small stack of books towards himself. He plucked off the top one and handed it to her.
“The History of The Rise of Ethea,” she read out. She looked up at Dhalen, an eyebrow raised. “I’ve already read many histories on Ethea. How is this one different?”
Dhalen was ginning at her now. His enthusiasm for books never failed to bring a smile to her own face.
“This one recounts how the Valdir and Askor played a part in the long war, and what their influence and power was during that time. The war was the beginning of the fall of Ethea, it was considered a great kingdom before the war. This book talks about how it got to be so great.”
She nodded, opening the front cover of the book, glancing over the first few pages.
“Excellent. Thank you.”
He beamed at her and reached for the next book but just then, the door behind her opened and someone stepped inside the small shop. Dhalen looked up and greeted the newcomer.
“Come in. Look around but don’t hesitate to ask questions.” Then he returned to the book before him, showing it to her. The hairs on Kalina’s neck began to rise when she realized the newcomer wasn’t moving from the doorway, and suddenly she felt trapped. She turned slowly to face the stranger trying to see
m natural. He was an unassuming man, blonde hair, blue eyes, mildly handsome. He smiled placidly at her, making eye contact. She smiled tentatively back before turning back to Dhalen.
Once she had seen and purchased the books from Dhalen she turned to leave and found the stranger standing right where he’d been before. He stepped aside, gesturing to the door so she could pass but he remained too close, too near, and her heart pounded as she squeezed by him and out the door. Once on the front step, she paused, breathing in deeply. She heard the stranger behind her asking Dhalen for a book on Wostradian Poetry before the door swung closed.
Chapter 14
On her way back to the cave she checked in at the post center, asking the shopkeeper Graycen if there were any letters for her. She and the man had become familiar, since she now checked in daily for letters from Leif.
“Ah! Yes, I finally do have a letter for you Miss Kalina.”
He held up a finger, indicating she wait as he rushed into the back of his shop. Her heart began to pound in anticipation, excitement, and fear at what Leif might say. Graycen handed her a small letter and she cradled it to her as she stepped back out onto the busy early evening street of Amberharbor. She barely noticed the blonde man from the book shop until she ran right into him, dropping her books and the letter.
She bent to pick them up, mumbling apologies, but they nearly bumped heads. She looked up at the blonde man, her eyes wide in fear. The man was smiling broadly at her.
“Sorry, Miss! I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was deep and melodic, but it put her immediately on edge.
“It’s fine,” she mumbled, gathering up her books and Leif’s letter.
The man offered her a hand, which she briefly took as she stood, then dropping it like it had burned her. Something about him unsettled her. Maybe it was the fact that he’d stood and waited in the shop, or the fact that in a town full of people she’d bumped into him again. It made her nervous. She muttered a quick thank you and then hurried on up the street, glancing behind her every few feet to make sure she wasn’t being followed. The sun had gone down by the time she hit the top of the cliff, and she was able to relax slightly. Her fear of being followed slipping away as she disappeared into the dark.
She leaned back against Maska. The light of a small fire filled the cavern with warmth, as she stared at the letter from Leif. She was working up the courage to open it, to read his words. What if he didn’t forgive her for leaving? She hadn’t had the will to eat her dinner that night, her stomach rolling. And she was grateful that Nash wasn’t there. He didn’t know she’d sent Leif a letter in the first place.
Finally, she slipped her finger beneath the wax seal and broke it, opening the stiff paper.
Dear Kalina,
While I don’t pretend to understand your reasoning for leaving, I, of course, forgive you. I know your father always talked about people making their own future, and having the freedom to choose. So, I can’t say I blame you for choosing to leave.
Maybe we weren’t fair to you. Maybe we didn’t support you enough. Whatever the reason, and whatever my failing, I’m sorry.
Things are tense here. Jormungand has claimed the crown in your absence and more people than ever are leaving the mountain for the foothills. There’s only the old and very young left here, and a small contingent of your loyal soldiers. We all hope you will one day come back to us, but we won’t force you.
Eira received word from her contact in the capital that your mother, the queen, is pregnant, and being confined to her rooms. The King continues to obsess over you and your claim on the throne, and continues to send men to Wolfhold where he now has a large garrison stationed, ready to attack us. I have Rangvald and Kari organizing our defenses but with so few left to defend the mountain, we aren’t taking any risks. We’re trying to hold things together but Arvid, Asta, and Ingvar have left us and the council. Only the four of us remain.
I hope you will decide to come back to us. Maska should be raised around more dragons, and hiding isn’t really your style. We miss you and hope you are safe and doing well.
Yours,
Leif
Tears were streaming down her face by the time she finished reading. It seemed her crown and people were falling apart. Hadn’t she wanted Jormungand to take over? Hadn’t she wanted freedom from the responsibilities? She wondered if Leif himself missed her, and the thought that he might not have made the tears come harder. The fact that he blamed himself for her leaving made her already bruised and battered heart break further.
Kalina cried herself to sleep that night, and when she woke, Nash was back in the cave, snoring away on the floor, stinking of alcohol. She stood over him, hands on her hips, wondering where she’d gone so wrong, how she’d ever thought it was a good idea to run away with a man she barely knew. She gave him a nudge with her boot, trying to rouse him from sleep.
“Wake up.”
She nudged him again. He snorted a bit and rolled over. This time she kicked him in the thigh, enough to startle him awake.
“What?”
He sat up, his braids a mess on his head. He looked up at her, confused.
“What is it?”
“We need to talk,” she said, and stalked away to the campfire where she stirred the coals to life, dumping an extra branch on to cook breakfast.
Nash blearily got out of bed and came over to sit by the fire. The mornings and evenings were getting cool, autumn finally descending on the coast.
“What did you want to talk about?”
He stretched as he spoke and Kalina wished, not for the first time, that Nash was Talon or Leif. She missed their easy company, their support, their candor. Nash was funny and impulsive, which made for a good time, but he was also quicker to anger than she had realized and his impulsiveness could put them in danger. She reached for the small bag of tea leaves and scooped some into two mugs. Then she set a pot full of water to boil.
“What is our plan?” she asked without looking at him.
“What do you mean?” he asked while he began mixing water and oats in a second pot and placing it on the fire to cook. “You know my plan. I know yours.” He shrugged.
“I don’t feel like I do know your plan anymore. Drinking all day in the taverns with merchants isn’t going to gain you customers and connections. You don’t really even have a product.”
Nash eyed her, scowling.
“I sent a letter to Jormungand. He’s agreed to give me beef, wool, and dragon scales to trade.”
Kalina stiffened at her usurper’s name. Then she forced herself to relax. Was he really a usurper if she had left? She supposed not, but that didn’t make Nash’s statement feel less like a betrayal.
“Jormungand? Really?” She stood up and began to pace before the fire. Maska raised his head to watch his rider for a few moments before lying back down.
“Are you kidding me? You can’t be angry about that. You left. They aren’t yours to govern anymore. You let Jormungand take the crown,” he pointed out.
His words stung, making her guilt burn even brighter. She went silent for a moment, trying to wrestle her own emotions under control. She had given it up, abandoned her people. She deserved this, didn’t she? She swallowed.
“Fine. But you’re drinking away all our money.”
His face stayed stony at her remark but he paused briefly in his stirring of the oats.
“I’ll cut back.”
She nodded and went back to pouring their tea. They ate breakfast in silence and then Kalina left for town. She spent the day in a small tea shop, watching the world go by and reading through a book she had picked up from Dhalen’s small book shop that morning that detailed one man’s adventures on the sea and the creatures he discovered there, some sounding suspiciously like dragons or wyverns, but that dwelt in the water. It sent her imagination reeling. What if Ethea’s dwindling numbers of wyverns and dragons weren’t alone? They were certainly the most well-known and well documented thanks to the Va
ldir. Kalina became lost in thought.
She thought she had seen the blonde man leaving the tea shop when she’d first arrived, but she had dismissed it. Here, there were plenty of blonde people; it was probably just any other blonde man. She sat at a small table in the sun, enjoying the sounds of the city around her. She realized that she had truly come a long way. A year ago, large crowds had made her nervous, sending her into massive panic attacks. But here she was, craving the hustle and bustle of the town after weeks spent in a lonely cave. The mountain where the Valdir lived was always full of the buzz of activity, and she was never truly alone, a person or dragon around every corner. She’d grown used to it, and now that she was away, she missed that feeling of being a part of something.
A melancholy settled over her as the day wore on. She missed her friends and family, she missed the dragon cave, she missed training. She looked down at her body. They’d been forced to trade their leathers for more common clothes. She still dressed in pants, her hair making her stand out enough that wearing pants wasn’t strange. Plus, many of the ships had women on them, and they wore pants. The clothes they’d bought when they arrived were becoming loose, her recent muscle loss making her feel empty and hollow. She vowed to exercise that night.
With a heavy heart she trudged back through town, to the top of the cliffs. There, she stopped and watched the sun dip below the horizon of inland Alben. She felt lost and confused, unsure of what the right next step should be. Should she go home to the Valdir and pick up whatever pieces were left? Or should she stay here and try to find some sort of happiness?
The cave was dark when Kalina approached. Usually, Maska waited for her on the edge, but this time, the cliff edge was deserted. The cave was empty when she entered, and for a brief moment, she began to panic. It wasn’t that strange for Sitala and Maska to go hunting at night, when they were less likely to be seen by ships. But as the hours passed, and they didn’t return, she started to worry. She couldn’t fall asleep that night, and instead stayed up, stoking the fire, hoping the light would bring Maska back.
