by R A Lewis
“It’s okay. Neither of you suspected they would drug you and take you from us.” Nash had gone to Sitala to comfort her.
Kalina let her head drop onto Maska’s warm scales.
“We flew,” she whispered to him. He grumbled a purr at her in agreement.
“Let’s do it again.”
His response made excitement flair in her breast and for a brief moment she forgot the horrors of the previous day. But when Nash walked back to the fire, digging through the packs for some food, she stepped away from Maska, determined to make a plan.
“Now what?” she said, joining him at the fire. “We can’t stay here anymore.”
Nash paused in his searching, as if thinking. Abruptly he stood up and walked to the small pile of wood along the cave wall, stacking a few in his arms.
“I’m not abandoning all my hard work,” he said, his back turned to her. She couldn’t read his face.
“Well, I can’t stay here. It’s not safe, and I’m not willing to risk myself or Maska again.”
He shrugged at her words. Suddenly, she was angry. Why was he acting as if their almost dying wasn’t a big deal? Why would he continue to put her in danger by staying here? She had thought he liked her, cared for her, but suddenly she felt more alone than ever. Maybe it would be better if she went back to the mountain. At least Leif and Eira cared about her, even if she was no longer queen.
“Fine.” She turned to her dragon. “Let’s go, Maska.”
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“Home.”
Chapter 17
Kalina strapped herself into the small saddle that barely fit Maska. Suddenly it was time to say goodbye, her bag packed with the few books she’d bought and some meager food supplies. Nash stood awkwardly before her, twisting his hands.
“I’m sorry, Kalina.”
She nodded, tears pricking her eyes. They hadn’t really known each other when they’d left, and she knew she’d treated him unfairly. But she was so unhappy, and needed to leave.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.”
That cut her, her chest hollowing out. She felt like she was losing someone all over again. Like Geir. Like her father.
“I know,” she barely croaked out. She leaned forward, putting her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. “This just wasn’t the right decision. I have to go home. I have to fix this.”
He nodded against her head, his chin bumping her lightly.
“Go be a queen. Don’t let Jormungand bring you down.”
She smiled as tears slipped over and spilled onto his leather vest.
“Thank you.”
She and Maska launched into the bright morning, the sun sparkling off the water below them. It was their first official flight together, and she felt a thrill of exhilaration as he flapped his wings to gain altitude and turned them back north, across the straights to Ethea.
Maska was barely big enough to carry her, but he did his best. They had to stop after a few hours for him to rest. Kalina was impatient to get home, suddenly anxious to see Leif again, and to take up her crown again if they’d let her. Her expectations, however, weren’t high. All she really wanted was to feel like she belonged. It was the feeling she’d been searching for all her life. She’d almost found it with Calla and Anders back in Ravenhelm, the couple who had so kindly taken her in after she’d left the abbey where she’d grown up, and then again in the Valdir’s mountain before her father died. She’d left in search of it once again and only found loneliness. Maska was the only bright light in all of this mess she had created. She only hoped she could find her way out, and maybe now was the time to listen to her advisors instead of her own heart and head.
The mountain loomed out of the vastness of the Wastes as the sun set on the third day and suddenly her heart was filled with nostalgia and longing. She couldn’t wait to land and see Leif. She had been gone now for almost two months, and who knew how much chaos had reigned in her absence. Leif’s letter had been brief so she hoped things were not worse.
The entrance cavern of the Valdir’s mountain was empty, dark, and cold when they landed, the autumn breezes more frigid here than along the coast. Kalina shivered as she dismounted, keeping her hand on Maska’s neck.
“Where is everyone?” he whispered, snaking out his long neck and peering down one of the nearby tunnels.
“I don’t know.” She patted him gently. “Why don’t you go down to the dragon hold and get yourself something to eat and some rest.”
He nudged her tiredly with his head before diving from the cave mouth. She straightened the red leathers that she’d donned for the trip, hoisted her bag of books, and made her way through the mountain. It felt as though she’d never left, and was once again doing her usual night time wanderings. The tunnels around her were quiet and dark, the usual torches set into the wall every dozen or so feet, cold to the touch. Alarm began to grown in Kalina’s chest as she got closer to the dining chamber without finding a single person.
The soft murmur of low voices finally reached her as she entered, along with the glow of torch light flickering along the high walls. She relaxed slightly as she approached, recognizing Leif, Kari, and Rangvald sitting around a table, eating a late-night supper. It looked to be some tough looking meat, a few root vegetables, and some bread. She approached cautiously, her own stomach grumbling at the sight of food no matter how humble the fare. A loose rock shifted under her foot, causing Leif’s head to snap up, his handsome face turning towards her, his grey eyes going wide at the sight.
He coughed on his food as he tried to speak, Rangvald turning to slap him on the back before noticing Kalina standing just outside the torch light. He jumped to his feet, Leif a second behind. Kari remained sitting, but a small smile turned her lips.
Rangvald's hug enveloped her as he squeezed tightly. There was a cracking noise, and suddenly the tension in her back eased. She laughed breathlessly as she squeezed her cousin back. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him and his quiet way.
“I’ve missed you,” she said as he stepped back.
Leif was right behind Rangvald's hug, but his felt much different. His arms encircled her waist and she placed her hands on his shoulders. He lifted her from the ground briefly as he held her to him. Warmth blossomed in her core and spread outwards, thawing some of the loneliness she’d felt since she’d left. She breathed deeply as she buried her face into his neck, trying to let his scent drown her. He was warm, and familiar, and a different sort of longing started deep within her at his touch. When he finally put her down, she felt the loss of his touch like a flower feels the loss of the sun.
Finally, Kari stepped forward. Her hands were crossed over her chest, and she eyed Kalina. Kalina swallowed before speaking.
“Kari, I-” but before she could even squeak out an apology, the woman was embracing her.
“We’ve missed you. I’m so glad you are safe.”
Kalina returned the hug, grateful that Kari seemed to have forgiven her for the moment, but she knew she owed this brave woman more than just some lame excuse. She owed her an explanation. She owed them all that.
“I’m so sorry that I left.” She paused, unsure how to truly express her feelings for these people. She put her hands out. “But I’m back for good. I’m done running. I’ll serve the Valdir however I can, even if it’s not as your Queen.” She looked around at them, her family and friends, and realized suddenly, she was home. The thing she’d been searching for all along was right here, waiting for her while she was mourning and feeling lost. She just hadn’t allowed them in, hadn’t allowed them to be that for her.
Kari broke into a grin and she put her arm around Kalina’s shoulders.
“We’re glad to have you back, your Majesty.” She led Kalina away. “Someone else has been dying to know where you’ve been.”
They rounded the corner into the bathing chamber and Eira stood up from where she was helping an elderly woman from
a tub. She placed her hands over her mouth and came running, folding Kalina into an embrace. Tears sprang unbidden to Kalina’s eyes and she hastily wiped them away with her sleeve, grateful Rangvald and Leif couldn’t follow them into the women’s bathing chamber.
“Kalina.”
Just the sound of her name on this woman’s lips made her feel more at peace.
“I’m sorry-” she began before breaking down into tears and collapsing into Eira’s arms.
The woman held her as she cried, Kari graciously taking her leave, the bathing chamber slowly emptying until the two of them were alone. Eira was her aunt by blood, and the first Valdir she’d ever met. This woman had trained her, answered all her stupid questions, and been the first to stay up all night with her after her father had died. Eira was like a mother to her, since her own was locked away across Ethea.
“I know, child,” Eira said in a soothing voice, brushing her hand down Kalina’s head. “Hush now, you are back with us and that’s all that matters.”
That night, Kalina slept the best she’d slept in months, back in her own bed, in her own room. And when she ventured down to the dining cave for breakfast, she encountered a sight she never thought she’d see. The Valdir began clapping and cheering as she entered the room. The only ones left were those who believed in her, many of them very old or very young. The rest had followed Asta and the rest of the council members when they’d left the mountain for Jormungand’s village.
She smiled and waved at the bright faces before her, so full of hope. Leif approached, the small box that contained her crown in his hands. As she stood before her people, he presented it to her, opening the box and looking into her bright blue eyes with such expectation, such trust, that Kalina only hoped she could live up to his, and their, expectations. She reached into the box and pulled the iron and stone crown from it, placing it atop her braided silver hair.
A cheer went up as she lowered her hands. She was once again their queen, but a queen of what? Of the old and infirm? Of children? She smiled at their hopeful faces and turned back to Leif, trying to calm the fear squirming in her guts.
“Council meeting, my chambers, twenty minutes.” And then she turned, smiling and greeting people as she walked back across the room, her appetite suddenly gone.
Chapter 18
Leif was the first to arrive, a small tray with bread and a hard-white cheese in his hands. Kalina reluctantly tore off a piece of bread and nibbled on it as she sat, waiting for Rangvald, Kari, and Eira to join them. Once they had all arrived and were seated, she realized she actually preferred a smaller council. People she knew she could really trust. She surveyed their hopeful faces.
“I need someone to tell me what’s happened since I left. How exactly did Jormungand take control? And what can be done about it?” She looked to Leif, steepling her fingers beneath her chin.
“When you left, everything was fine for a few days. We held the people together; said you’d gone on an overnight to clear your head. But when you didn’t return, they began to panic. The second week you were gone, Jormungand and Halvor showed up with a contingent of men and took control. They gave speeches in the dining cavern and in the great hall. They trained with the men and spent hours in the dragons’ cave. They convinced most of the Valdir to leave and join their village, stating that they needed soldiers and farmers for their herds of cattle. Promising land to farm, houses to live in.” He paused and looked over at Rangvald to continue.
“I scouted out the village a few weeks ago. Many of our people are living in tents, or sleeping on the ground because they can’t build housing fast enough.” Rangvald took a swig of water from the glass before him. He looked as if he was preparing himself. “But despite that, Jormungand does have a right to the throne. He has them convinced he can bring them home to the mountains, where we can once again live in peace. And the fact that the King of Ethea hasn’t attacked in weeks doesn’t help. It has only served to convince the people that since you left, they are safer.”
Kalina looked at the table. The truth was, they were safer without her as queen. But she couldn’t let that derail her. Jormungand was selling them a false sense of security. There was a reason the Valdir had fled to the Wastes, that reason hadn’t vanished because she’d left.
“So now what? How can I win back my throne and our people?” Kari grinned at her, excitement coloring her sharp features. The blue eyes she shared with Kalina sparkling. Kalina smiled grimly back.
“You must fight him.” Eira’s voice rang into the silence. “Valdir tradition states that if two people claim the throne then they must fight to the death. The winner is the better warrior and has been chosen by the gods to keep the Valdir safe.”
Kalina’s gut twisted just thinking about it. She had become a competent warrior since she’d found the Valdir, but ten months of training was nothing compared to a lifetime. She looked up at Leif beside her, his handsome face drawn with worry.
“I’m willing, but I’m not sure I have the skills.”
“If you choose to challenge Jormungand and fight, then only the gods’ mercy will tell us who is to rule. It’s not a matter of skill, although that is how it would seem. It is a matter for the gods.”
Kalina shivered. She’d never really been religious, despite being raised in the abbey. Father Martin had taught her the basics about their gods, but he’d never insisted she worship. The Valdir worshiped the same gods as most Etheans, only they often put emphasis on the Warrior Skaldir rather than The Mother Freyre. Skaldir created the Valdir, formed them from the mud of the mountains to fly alongside dragon kind. They were exceptional warriors, and he showed them his favor by allowing them to survive battle. If she managed to survive this fight, it showed that Skaldir looked favorably on her.
She nodded finally in resignation and determination.
“I’ll do it.” Leif’s face fell slightly, worry creasing his brow, but there was also a fierce pride in his eyes as he watched her. Rangvald nodded slowly, and Kari grinned at her.
Kalina’s shoulder was slow to heal but as soon as she had movement back she began training, getting herself back into fighting shape. She spent the days training incessantly with Kari and Leif, reconditioning her body and learning the skills she’d need to hopefully beat Jormungand. She fell into bed every night too exhausted to be worried, but one morning she woke to find Eira sitting beside her bed. Panic rose in her chest, fear that something bad had happened once again.
“Is it Maska?” she asked, about to jump out of bed.
Eira put her hands up.
“No, no. Maska is fine. He’s training, out on maneuvers with Arikara.”
Kalina relaxed back into her pillows, suddenly red with embarrassment at getting worked up so quickly.
“I came to discuss your crown.”
Kalina’s eyes slid to the box she kept the crown in while she slept, tucked away on her bedside table.
“What about my crown?”
Eira sighed and got up to pace to the small window that overlooked the Wastes.
“Do you really want it?” She kept her back to Kalina as she spoke, allowing her the privacy to think.
Kalina stayed quiet for a few moments. Of course, she had every right to ask this. Kalina had been anything but consistent since her father had died, and then she had left.
“Yes. I do, Eira.” She got out of bed and began to pull on her pants and boots as she spoke. “I didn’t really know that I wanted this until the day I got back, to be honest. I was scared, alone, and suddenly taken from orphan to Queen in a matter of months. But now that I’m back, I know I’m back for the right reasons. This is my family. These are my people. I didn’t really understand that before.” She came to stand beside her aunt. “This time I want to be here for me, not for my father, not for you, not for anyone.”
Eira finally smiled and turned back to her, putting her wrinkled hands on Kalina’s shoulders.
“Now, that, I believe.”
They s
ent a letter to Jormungand, warning him of their arrival and her intention to challenge him, but despite the weeks she’d had to prepare, Kalina still felt like an amateur wielding her axes. She flew on Maska across the wide-open wastes, Leif, Kari, Rangvald, and a small contingent of soldiers behind them. Eira had elected to remain back at the mountain with the rest of their supporters. Kalina was poorly equipped for the task ahead, but she knew there was no other way. Not if she wanted to be queen.
They landed as the sun was just above noon, the village of Windpost busy with farmers, cattle herders, vendors selling and trading goods, and people going about their daily lives. A crowd formed as they dismounted. Leif beside her put his hand on her elbow, squeezing gently, letting her know she was not alone as she took deep breaths to calm the panic and fear welling up inside her.
Jormungand and Halvor stepped out of the crowd, her former council members flanking him. Asta, Arvid, and Ingvar eyed her warily, confusion clouding their faces. Clearly, Jormungand had kept their letter to himself and not told his new council members of their plan to challenge him.
He stood before them, his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing them. He smirked when he took her in, the crown on her head. It would be his crown by the end of the day if Skaldir didn’t favor her. She swallowed hard before stepping forward. Maska and the other dragons stayed where they were, giving the Valdir space.
“So, the prodigal Queen has returned to her people,” Jormungand said with a mocking tone.
The gathered crowd laughed nervously around him. He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling as he watched Kalina.
“The only problem is, they aren’t your people anymore.”
Silence fell over the crowd. Kalina cleared her throat. She knew she had only so much time to prove she was worthy of the crown.
“Yes, I abandoned you,” she addressed her people, her voice ringing out. “But I returned because I knew I had made a huge mistake. Before, I thought that I was an outsider, that I didn’t belong.”
