Sammie choked on tears. "I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression of me. I'm sorry if you thought I was trying to seduce you. I've never done… that…with a man."
He hesitated as he glanced down at her. "You don't need to explain."
Tears flooded eyes. "Yes, I do. I just have a hard time keeping my hands off you, Jimmy. It's especially hard when you look so good with your wet hair and bare chest. I swear I didn't come here to sleep with you."
"This is killing me to say this, but we need to avoid situations like this again. Maybe we should just date with friends, or see each other in public. We could declare some areas off limits. Like my place."
She smiled, her chin trembling, and hoped he believed she supported him. "Okay."
Jimmy looked relieved that she understood. "Good."
Smiling shyly at him, she whispered, "I'd do anything for you…"
"Let's start with communication. No sexy statements like that. Got it?"
She frowned and moved into the living room so Jimmy could finish getting dressed. She didn't want him to see how his comment flustered her. "I'll wait on the porch."
Five minutes later he appeared outside and they headed over to the Sierra Riding Club where the rodeo event was scheduled to take place. Worried she would say the wrong thing again; she focused on her driving and tried to block out everything else.
*****
As Sammie drove to the arena to watch her friend perform, she thought more about what Jimmy had said before they left. She really did want to wait until marriage. For some crazy reason she thought if she could make him want her that way, then somehow he would fall in love with her and want to marry her. Then they would always be together. Obviously that was a wrong assumption on her part.
The more she got to know Jimmy, the more she realized how ridiculous that faulty notion was. That was definitely the wrong approach to take with him. He seemed to want to share his faith with her more than his bed. She wasn't sure how she was going to do that. She knew if she faked it, he would figure out that she wasn't sincere. That would be worse for them than her not believing at all.
She would have to find out for herself if what Jimmy believed was true, and go from there. Deep inside she knew this was the right thing to do. The only thing that worried her was what would happen if she never shared his faith. A lump formed in her throat just thinking about life without him. He was her soul mate. She was sure of it.
She saw Trinity right after they parked. She was hanging by the side gate of the arena and standing next to her beautiful horse. That pretty neighbor of hers stood out from the rest of the participants, because unlike the other riders who were dressed in chaps and spurs, she was dressed in a suede dress resembling that of an Indian princess. She'd braided her hair on both sides, and her intricately beaded outfit looked like it was made from real buckskin.
Trinity had certainly attracted the attention of several gunfighters. Sammie smirked as she watched several guys fawn all over the girl. Trinity acted like she didn't notice. So either her friend was oblivious, or she was deliberately ignoring them.
Sammie waved so Trinity would see her when she looked in their direction. It wasn't long before Trinity noticed and waved back. She rode bareback on Buttercup, whose mane had been beautifully beaded and braided for the occasion. Someone had styled Buttercup's mane to look like she belonged to an Indian brave.
Jimmy and Sammie found seats as fast as they could before the National Anthem played. The chaplain then said a short prayer, blessing the day's events, and ended with a hearty 'Amen'. As Jimmy bowed his head for the prayer, she felt a twinge of guilt for suggesting that he skip church this morning. She really was a bad influence on him. She didn't want to be.
He probably hadn't missed a single Sunday morning service since he moved to Tombstone. The pastor of his church and members of the congregation would probably call him to see if he was okay. What would he tell them? Would he confess that he'd almost slept with her that morning? That he'd blown off church to hang out with her at a riding competition? Would the pastor tell Jimmy she was bad for him and tell him to stop seeing her? Would he cut her off from his life?
She pushed the depressing thoughts out of her head. She didn't want to miss the show just because she couldn't stop thinking about all that she'd done wrong with him so far. The guilt was too overwhelming. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye as the National Anthem played. The sound of his deep voice as he sang with fervor made her heart sing in response. He had a fabulous voice and great pitch.
The show began with riders navigating an obstacle course made up of several stands with balloons attached to them, and a maze of six barrels filling the arena. The competitors were timed as they rode around the obstacle course as fast as they could while they shot bb guns and popped the balloons on the stands.
Each competitor had two 45's strapped to the front of their waist with double holsters. When they pulled their guns the gunfire sounded so real it made her think of her training at the shooting range. The riders took off around the course with one hand steering their horse around sharp turns and the other aiming the Colt 45's at the balloons.
She couldn't figure out how they cocked the old fashioned guns between each shot and managed to hit most of their targets. Each missed balloon cost the rider a five second penalty, which was added to their overall time.
She could tell the event was even harder than it appeared, especially for Trinity, because she rode bareback. Trinity tried her best as everyone cheered her on. She wasn't the fastest in the race, but she shot all of the balloons. Others were faster, but they missed some, so with the added penalties their scores were actually lower.
A few horses were spooked by the loud gunfire and tried to buck their riders off, or worse, they refused to follow the course. One horse even spun around in circles, fighting his rider's rein commands. The audience held a collective breath as they expected the man to fall off or be thrown and seriously injured. Fortunately neither happened.
When the competition ended, Trinity came in fifteenth place. That was amazing considering there were at least fifty contestants, only a few of which were women, and no one else rode bareback. Sammie was impressed.
The way Jimmy smiled at her friend she could tell that Trinity had impressed him, too. Her stomach twisted as she watched them chat.
"Hey, Jimmy." Trinity smiled shyly as she approached him. "I'm so glad you came to see me. I think I did better because I knew you were watching."
"No problem. It was really fun." His face reddened at the compliment.
As Sammie watched the interaction between them, she didn't like what she saw. Trinity was clearly flirting with him and he didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he was flirting right back.
Her first instinct was to seethe with jealousy. Until she remembered what he'd told her that he wanted in a woman. Trinity didn't have it.
After their serious conversation that morning, she couldn't help wondering, had she alienated him instead of capturing his heart like she'd intended? Her throat tightened. She didn't want to consider what that might mean for them.
Once the damage was done, there was no turning back. Even she knew that.
Chapter Eleven
Jimmy slid out of Sammie's truck and waved. It was hard, but he had to get out of there without touching her. She had parked and looked at him with such expectation it made him melt inside. He had no doubt she'd wanted him to kiss her.
But he couldn't go there. Not after their near slip this morning. And that shirt she wore made it even more difficult. If she only knew what skimpy clothing did to men's minds. Then again, maybe she did know. Maybe this was all planned. He hoped not, but just in case, he behaved himself. It would have been too easy to pick up where they'd left off. He winced when he thought about how close they had come to disaster. How close he'd come to falling.
After he finished his lunch, Jimmy called Sam. "Sam, you home?"
Sam answered. "Hey." His vo
ice sounded froggy as he hacked into the phone.
"You okay?"
"No, I feel like junk. But I'm just lying here doing nothing but feeling sorry for my miserable self. So, what's up?"
"I need some advice." He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. No matter what Sam said, he'd take it as a word from God.
"Sure. I'll do whatever I can to help." Cough. Hack.
"You sure you want to talk now? You sound awful."
"I feel horrible, but you've got my attention, so speak."
"Okay, I started dating this girl." His cheeks heated. That was only the tip of the iceberg. How much should he share? How much detail should he divulge?
"And…"
"And I… well, um… I can't seem to keep my hands off her. I know, I know. It's wrong to even think about that, but it's hard. I—"
"No, please, Lord, not again. Jimmy, I told you the last time you hooked up with the wrong gal that you needed to pray for the woman God wanted for you and then wait for her. If this woman is the one then you need to keep your hands to yourself. Do you want to ruin everything?" Cough. Sputter.
"Of course not."
"Does she love the Lord?" Hack. Hack.
He knew that question was coming. He waited until Sam stopped choking and mumbled the dreaded answer. "No. She's not a believer."
"You know how stupid that is, right?"
"Yes." His heart sank. He could tell Sam was ticked at him.
"You know how incredibly bone headed and stupid that is, right?"
"I said yes." He winced. Why had he called? He'd done the right thing. He stopped himself before…well, not soon enough. Which was probably why he felt so guilty. Sam wasn't helping by pointing out the obvious.
"You know how ridiculous you're being by testing God? You are asking to get screwed in more ways than one. You know your weakness. You know!"
"Calm down, bro. I hear you."
"Are you sure? It sounds to me like you're just horny. You don't care about her. If you did you wouldn't be thinking about her this way."
"Okay. Fine! I'll break it off with her." His throat knotted.
Silenced echoed for several long moments.
"You sound upset. How much do you care about this girl?"
"I've fallen in love with her." His hoarse voice betrayed his conflicted emotions. He pressed his palm to his forehead and closed his eyes. "I know I shouldn't have, okay?"
"How long have you known her?"
"A few weeks." He sighed, knowing a lecture was coming.
"You're kidding! You've only known her a few weeks? How can you be in love with her? That's impossible."
"If you saw her—"
"What kind of stupid is that? Just because she's beautiful?" Choke. Hack.
"It's not that. There is something about her. I can't put my finger on it…"
"Sounds like you put more than a finger on her. Just how much did you guys do?" He sputtered and coughed a few more times.
Jimmy didn't know how to express his connection with her. It was more than just a physical thing. The fact that she was a knockout just made it harder to resist her. Maybe she was the one for him and she just needed to get saved first…
"I think she's my soul mate. The one God has set apart for me."
"That's ridiculous. The only soul mate God has intended for you is His Son Jesus Christ. What kind of lies has the enemy been feeding you?"
"You don't understand. How I feel when I'm with her… it's amazing."
"It's not about feelings. It's about a lifetime commitment. And you never answered my earlier question. Just how much have you done with this girl, Jimmy?"
He winced, knowing no matter what he said Sam would go ballistic. But he couldn't lie to him. "We've kissed… a lot."
"And what else? How much did you do with her?"
"Relax. We kept our clothes on," he snapped. He tried not to think about what they managed to do in spite of the clothing barrier.
"Is that supposed to appease me? Listen to you! Where did you meet this woman?"
How did he know this question would come up, too? He closed his eyes. "I met her in Tombstone. She's an actress."
"What role does she play?" Cough. Hack.
He cleared his throat and mumbled. "Saloon girl."
"A what? You mean she wears one of those dresses that push everything up so you can't miss the cleavage?"
"Oh, yeah. She has some beautiful—"
"I don't want to hear about her assets. Spare me." Disgust laced his friend's words.
He cringed. "Sorry."
"This whole situation is sorry. You're dating a… I can't even say the word! Think about it. This is crazy!"
Jimmy bristled. "She's not a whore."
"I never said that."
"But you were thinking it. You're wrong about her. She's never had sex before."
Sam snorted. "And you believe her?" Cough.
"Why wouldn't I?" His face heated.
"You are so flippin' gullible. You know that?"
"Why? Because I believe her?"
"Because the fact that you even talked about it with her tells me you guys have been way too intimate. Did she start things with you? Or did you pursue her? Hack. Cough.
"Both, I guess."
"Did she give you that look? You know… that one that pulls you into her web?"
He thought about it for a moment. He couldn't deny seeing that sensual look in her eyes that invited him to push those boundaries he'd put in place. "Yes."
"Then stay away from her."
"But—" Jimmy sighed. He had asked for advice. Now he just needed to accept it.
"Listen. You knew you were wrong. That's why we're having this conversation. You called me to tell me what happened so I'd help you do the right thing. The right thing is to stay away from her before you do something you'll both regret."
Sam was right, of course. "Yeah. Okay. I'll stay away from her. Thanks, Sam."
"No problem. I'll pray for you, buddy."
His throat tightened so much he could hardly speak. "Thanks," he choked out.
As soon as he hung up the phone he rubbed his face and groaned. His eyes stung. He hated to stop seeing her, but he knew what Sam had said was true.
But what if she was his soul mate and he broke up with her. Wouldn't that be even more wrong? He glanced over at the Bible on the table. He knew he should read it and that God would speak to him if he did, but he resisted. He didn't want to be told no.
Just to make sure he'd heard the Lord correctly about still seeing her but just limiting it to when there were other people around, he decided to contact Chet. If that crazy guy agreed with Sam, then he'd know for sure that God wanted him to stay away from her. After they talked things through, then he would make his decision.
He dialed Chet's cell phone. As he waited for his friend to answer, he sniffed his underarms. He needed another shower. He was covered with dust and smelled sweaty.
Chet answered just as Jimmy was about to hang up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Chet. It's Jimmy. I'd like to get together and talk to you if you have time."
"I'm off today. But after that punch you gave me, I'm not sure I want to talk with you. You gave me a wicked bruise, you know?"
"Sorry about that. I reacted without thinking."
"I'll say. I should hold it against you."
"But you won't. We get along too well. Listen, I'm going on a hike this afternoon and thought it would be fun if you came with me. I'll be ready around two o'clock, so feel free to meet me at my house, and come early if you can."
"Oh, I get it. You want to go for a nature walk and you can't go because your wheels are still in the shop, right?"
"Yeah, but that's not why I invited you."
"Then why did you?"
"I thought we could talk about some things. Guy stuff."
"You want my advice?" Chet laughed. "Since when?"
Jimmy thought about that. Did he want to talk to Chet
about his situation with Sammie? Wouldn't that be asking a fool according to his folly like Proverbs warned against? "I just thought we could hang out for awhile. That's it."
"All right. I'll go. Is there anything I need to bring?"
"Bring anything you want. Go ahead and use your imagination."
After he said goodbye, he dialed Sammie's number and got her answering machine. He wasn't sure what to say to her anyway, so he hung up and headed into the bathroom to take another shower.
While he dried off and got dressed he listened to his favorite radio station. Slow Fade by Casting Crowns came on. The song talked about poor choices made and how people didn't fall in a day. In other words, it took some planning for sin to get so out of hand that a person would throw their life away.
Jimmy swallowed hard. He didn't want to harden his heart. He wanted to be soft towards God.
Was that what he was doing by seeking advice from someone else? Hadn't he already decided that he'd do whatever his mentor had told him?
But how could he be sure that was the right thing to do?
He clicked off the radio and closed his eyes. A vision of Sammie approaching him in that hot dress played out in his thoughts. She crooked her finger and gestured for him to follow her. And follow her he did… right into the darkest room he'd ever seen. He couldn't see a thing, but he could feel her body against his. Their lips met and he slipped further into his dream.
Sudden pounding woke him from his altered state of mind. He shifted uncomfortably and stood, hoping his body would calm down before he answered the door. "Hold on."
When he felt a bit more relaxed he pulled on the handle.
"Look who's here."
Chet smirked. "What took you so long?"
Jimmy decided not to answer that question. "So what did you decide to bring?"
His friend grinned and gestured toward his truck. "You'll see."
About five minutes into their trip they approached Middle March Road. It looked like it hadn't been grated in years. Chet gestured toward the road. "This is gonna be a bumpy ride."
The Shy Captain Page 12
