by Dean Murray
Jessica's normal dislike of me had been replaced by fear for her father.
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Please hurry."
Adri was just finishing up her conversation as I hung up. She looked up from her phone with surprise.
"You redirected our calls?"
"Correct. That's what Isaac was doing in the kitchen after your mom left. I thought it might come to this, so I had him bring along some of his toys. You'll want to change the message sometime tonight, so you can let it roll to the voice mail if she calls while you're at school."
"You really do think of everything, don't you?"
It was hard not to smile as her praise warmed me from the center out. "I don't think you can go that far, but I try to anticipate most eventualities."
Even as I made the statement I was reminded of all the times I hadn't seen problems coming and suddenly I felt every single hour since I'd last been asleep nearly thirty-six hours ago.
"For most of my life, there's been quite a bit riding on my ability to do so."
She again displayed her uncanny ability to read me, and chose not to pursue a painful line of questioning. I was already realizing just how hard it was to deny her anything she really wanted to know.
"You got a call too?"
I felt a spark of guilt as I realized I'd nearly forgotten about Jess already.
"Yes. I'm afraid something has come up. Will you be okay here for a few hours?"
Her shrug was perfectly nonchalant, but her heart and breathing didn't match it.
"I rather suspect whatever 'came up' is important enough I'll just have to be okay."
I flinched as I realized she'd already begun figuring out just how many demands there were on me, just how many different ways there were for me to disappoint her. I opened my mouth to try and make things better, but my phone started buzzing. I nodded regretfully and hurried out of the room.
I was almost at a full run, but even so it took me five minutes to get to Andrew's suite. I burst into the central room and found furniture scattered everywhere. Jess was curled up in one corner crying while Isaac and Andrew were a rolling, writhing ball on the floor.
Andrew was indeed in his wolf form, attempting to break away from Isaac despite the mangled back legs that were Agony's legacy. In a straight-up fight, even in his prime, Andrew wouldn't have been a match for Isaac, but the latter had remained in his human form with all of its inherent limitations to avoid hurting his adopted father.
Andrew looked up at me with hatred in his yellow eyes and almost broke free of Isaac as he threw himself in my direction. Isaac had flooded the room with power, but in the age-old manner of parents, Andrew was refusing to heed the imperative.
I took a deep breath and then unleashed my beast. My hybrid form roared out with even greater than usual violence, shredding my clothes and blasting all three of the others with a torrent of power that washed away everyone else's metaphysical presence.
I didn't plan on hurting Andrew, but his beast was more likely to respect my hybrid form than my other two.
"BOW, ANDREW!"
The imperative roared out from me with all of the authority of Andrew's alpha, and his struggles suddenly ceased. The hatred was still there, but it was bridled by fear once again.
As Isaac carefully released Andrew, I picked up a blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over Jess' father.
"Change back to your normal form."
He wasn't cushioned by his rage anymore and the transformation pulled at ancient wounds with such force that he screamed as his body folded in on itself. I expected him to take a few minutes to regain his composure after the change, but he started yelling at me as soon as he'd reformed his vocal cords.
"You could have gotten him killed, Alec."
"I'm aware of that, Andrew. Nobody is more relieved than me that we all made it through."
The hatred was bubbling back to primacy so I sent out another pulse of power. It helped. Andrew didn't really want to throw his life away by attacking me, but he was an angry parent.
"It's bad enough the risks you make them run on a daily basis, but things are getting worse and this was all because of this new girl. It's not right for you to place her above your pack mates."
He'd said too much, and suddenly it was me that was trying to keep my furious beast in check. Jess had no business running back to her father and complaining that I'd stopped her from killing Adri.
"She didn't do anything to deserve to die, and everyone seems to be quickly forgetting that part of our reason for existence is to protect innocent humans. Did Jess tell you she was ready to kill Adri herself?"
He flinched. She'd told him, but he'd made excuses for her.
"I'm not courting danger casually, but I'm through sitting back and letting Brandon's people slaughter innocents."
Andrew shook his head. "We all know that's not why you did it, Alec. Of all the things to breed true from your father, why did his unnatural fascination with the humans have to be the one trait he passed on?"
I left before I could lose control and kill him, but even after I'd put distance between us, it was all I could do not to turn around and head back to his suite. I wanted to go find Adri, but feared she'd pull back in horror. I was too angry to shift out of my hybrid form and she'd fainted the last time I'd approached her looking like this.
I angrily made my way out to my father's shop and strapped myself into the machine. Donovan found me near the planned end of my sets. He entered the shop and then stopped well beyond striking range, once again displaying his usual ability to sense the mood of those around him.
"What is it, Donovan? Something wrong?"
He shook his head slowly, but a slight uptick in his pulse gave lie to the calmness.
"No, sir. There was an item I'd planned on discussing with you, but I think it best I wait for a few days. The business side of things is going as planned, and there isn't anything I can't handle for a day or two."
The beast inside of me wanted an answer now, wanted to be faced with whatever Donovan didn't want to talk about, but I knew better. I was trembling with exhaustion but still entirely too dangerous. I'd take even the most gentle of criticism poorly in my current state and Donovan was correct to want to avoid me until that changed.
Rachel appeared as Donovan was leaving.
"Alec, can I take Adri shopping tomorrow? Not in Sanctuary, some place further away, like Vegas. She needs clothes and stuff since she didn't get a chance to pack before you guys left."
Rachel was normally able to calm my beast, but it was all I could do not to snap at her. I took a deep breath and then nodded. "You have my permission as long as you can convince Dom and Jasmin to go with you. Even all the way down there I want you to have some protection."
"Thanks, Alec. I'll pick you up some new stuff too. Lately you've been tearing through clothes even more often than normal."
Her impish grin brought a smile to my face, but it still wasn't enough to truly make me safe to be around. As she left I attacked the weight stack with renewed determination, forcing my muscles further and harder than I'd ever done before. Even past the clang of iron striking iron I was able to hear the house slowly quiet down as everyone went to bed.
Finally it was only Donovan who remained, working away in his office. I was long past the point of exhaustion, so I headed back to my room, relieved to have been able to avoid terrorizing Adri with my inability to control my rage.
The lights were all off, but it might as well have been high noon to my hybrid eyes. I easily navigated the familiar halls of the house, silently slipping into my room and then pulling up short as I found Adri sound asleep on my bed.
The sight of her peaceful slumber did what even multiple hours of weightlifting hadn't managed. My anger evaporated and my form shrank back down to the one I presented to the outside world.
The sudden exhaustion of the last forty-eight hours struck with such force I nearly fell to the floor
. I was just able to make it to the bed, where I lay down next to Adri. I needed a few seconds to rest or I'd drop her before making it even halfway to the Lilac Room.
Adri's violent thrashing pulled me out of unintended slumber. She was breathing heavily and trying to push herself into the wall with such force I was afraid she'd hurt herself.
Without thinking I reached out and clamped my arms around her, restraining her as I called her name in an effort to wake her up.
The struggles abruptly cut off as she finally came awake. She looked nearly as terrified of me as she'd been of whatever she'd been dreaming about.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry about that, I was afraid you were going to hurt yourself."
Adri blushed as she finally realized she'd been dreaming.
"I'm sorry. It was a nightmare."
She seemed at the point of telling me about the dream, but suddenly gasped as she took in her surroundings.
"I'm so sorry, Alec. Donovan and Rachel told me you had copies of our textbooks in here. I was studying and must have fallen asleep. Please don't think…"
She looked as if she might cry. I wondered how her parents ever had the heart to discipline her. One look at those tear-filled eyes made me want to give her anything she asked for. My words almost tripped over each other as I hastened to reassure her. I reached out and hugged her against me.
"It was all just a dream, and you don't have anything to be sorry about. I don't mind you being here. I'm sorry I had to leave you alone for so long, it was inexcusable."
If I'd had even a shadow of my normal self-control I could have spent the last few hours with her instead of locked away where I couldn't hurt anyone. I banished the thought and tried to make my words light.
"Actually, I owe you another apology. When I returned and found you here I meant to carry you to your room. I was only going to sit down for a second, but apparently I was more exhausted than I realized. I hope you don't think my actions are inappropriate."
She'd calmed down completely now. If she'd been a cat she'd have been purring. I wanted to stay with her pressed up against me, but didn't want to give her another chance to reject me. I was already much too deeply in her power. I warred with myself for several seconds and then sighed.
"Well, I suppose I'd better get you off to bed."
Adri didn't respond until I slid my arm out from underneath her and stood up, but then she fell apart with all of the speed normally reserved for her panic attacks. I heard her pulse skyrocket at the same time the rest of her froze into immobility. I turned back towards her and found panic written in every nuance of her expression and body language.
"You stopped breathing. What's wrong?"
When she finally pulled herself up onto her knees, tears were heavy in her eyes and her voice was a shadow of its normal, confident tone.
"Please don't send me there. Not after my dream."
It was like she'd reached into my being and read the desires there. I wanted nothing more than to spend every waking and even sleeping moment with her, but there was a limit to how much of that she could be exposed to without becoming addicted to my touch. I forced my face into impassivity, praying it wouldn't give lie to my words.
"I'm not sure that's the best idea."
She collapsed back onto the bed, tears flowing freely even as she tried to crawl to the edge despite the sobs wracking her body.
"You're right. I'm so sorry to be such a bother."
Her desolation destroyed my resolve and I reached out to her. She rolled away as my hand touched her shoulder. She continued to try and flee me, but I stopped her by pulling her around and carefully pulling her face up so our eyes could meet.
"Adriana Paige, it isn't that I don't want to be with you. I want it more than anything else right now. That's why I'm not sure it's such a good idea."
She was so beautiful it was all I could do not to lean in and capture her lips in mine. It was completely inappropriate but only a decade of practice denying my wants allowed me to forgo the pleasure.
She finally nodded, burying her face against my chest and letting the tears run their course. Several minutes later she was able to speak once again.
"You're so ready to send me away it's hard to believe sometimes that you really want me here."
Her words took me by complete surprise. She seemed so able to read me. It defied logic that she wouldn't know exactly how I felt about her. Ignoring my earlier worries about the Ja'tell bond, I reached out and touched the side of her face.
"I really want nothing as badly as I want you here. If I were to be completely selfish I'd never have even made the offer, but that wouldn't have been fair to you."
She moved in closer to me, leaning against my body.
"Well, I just want to log my vote for you to be more selfish."
Her gay tone was completely at odds with her earlier hurt. It was amazing that someone could be so mercurial. It was like she lived completely in the moment.
"According to my father, we shape shifters were created specifically for the purpose of not being selfish, of watching out for the dayborn even at the expense of our own desires."
Now she was serious once again.
"You miss your dad. I can tell it in your voice."
I shrugged, attempting to hide how much hurt the thought of my father caused me.
"I do. I don't really remember him, but I've read through his journals dozens of times. It seems crazy to miss what you never knew, but there are days when I really wish he were still around to give me advice. I think that's what I missed the most. That and his stories."
Adri's smile was at odds with the pain scent she emitted as she talked about her father.
"That sounds nice. We never got stories at my house. Dad played with us plenty, but bedtime was bedtime."
"Donovan said Dad used to tell me stories every night. After Dad died, Donovan took over telling them to both Rachel and me. It wasn't until after I grew up that I found out they were legends about where we came from. That we weren't normal like everyone else."
"Like the…dayborn? What did you mean earlier?"
I shouldn't tell her. Despite everything, a part of me was still convinced I'd eventually send her away to protect her. Once that happened, the less she knew the better off she'd be.
"That touches on the things you shouldn't know."
"Please. It will help me go to sleep. I need something else to think about."
I paused again, but finally launched into the first Tale of Adjam and Inock. It was a story I hadn't heard for years, but I was surprised at how easily it rolled off of my tongue. It should have caused me pain, but instead I found it relieved some of the conflict inside me.
By the time Adri finally nodded off to sleep I wasn't worrying about the future. I curled up next to her and fell asleep a short time later.
Chapter 24
There'd been more than one reason I'd told Rachel she had to take Dom on the shopping trip. It was past time to see just exactly how far I could push James, and I needed to do it when Dom wasn't around to calm him down.
The coming storm was likely to be something I could keep just between Brandon and me, but if it wasn't, if things were going to leak over onto the rest of the pack, I needed to know the true strength of the weapon I was taking into battle.
I'd considered sending Isaac with them, but if things went as badly south as I was afraid they would, then I might need Isaac's help to restrain James without killing him.
Jess was another concern, but when it came right down to it she was the weakest fighter in the pack. Her standing with us, or even against us, wouldn't make all that great of a difference.
I spent the morning with Donovan and then with my books. We covered nearly every aspect of the family business and discussed Brandon's probable responses to everything that'd happened, both economic and otherwise, but he never brought anything up that could account for the level of concern he'd evidenced the day before. I briefly contemplated forcing the i
ssue, but Donovan sometimes knew me even better than I knew myself. He probably had a good reason for not saying anything yet. He'd tell me if I demanded an answer, but doing so would be devaluing his judgment.
I'd been deeply involved in working through a chemistry assignment when Addison's knock had pulled me out of the world of covalent bonds, moles, and periodic tables.
The idea of Addison seeking me out was so foreign that I nearly did a double-take.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Don't push James today, Alec."
"I beg your pardon?"
Addison's smirk was one of the most infuriating things about her. She tended to think she knew much more than she actually did, which was made even worse by the way she acted when she was right.
"With everything that's happened, you've got to be worried about what's coming down the pipeline with the Coun'hij. You sent Dominic away because you want to see if James will stand with you when you really push him. It's exactly the kind of thing Donovan's been teaching you all these years."
I leaned back in my desk and studied the woman who'd had the greatest influence into shaping James into the willful, obstinate man he was becoming. She'd fought me on almost everything for as long as I could remember.
"Assuming you're right about what I'm planning, why should I listen to you? You're hardly without ulterior motives."
Addison shrugged, a painful movement that demonstrated just how much she'd lost the night her husband had been killed.
"I'm not going to pretend I like you, Alec. You've held my boy back. He could have led his own pack, but you favor even Jasmin over him. Your father never would have allowed that kind of imbalance in power to exist inside his pack."
"You could have left at any time, Addison."
"I thought about it, but I swore an oath to your father, and thereby your mother. I'm not abandoning her. Once she dies I'll have James gone so fast you'll never even see it coming, but until then he and I will defend her even if it means defending your worthless hide."
"Again, why should I listen to you?"
