by Dean Murray
Discomfort moving through me, I dropped my gaze to the picnic blanket.
“You’re not a freak, Chloe,” he said quietly. “It’s hard, finding out you’re not quite what you always thought you were. But you’re not a freak.”
I looked back up at him. He almost sounded like he understood.
“Maybe think about it?” he asked.
I nodded.
Doing the same, he glanced to the river. Baylie was laughing at something Maddox had said.
“Does she know?” Noah asked.
“No,” I admitted.
He looked back to me.
“I tried to tell her, but I just… I didn’t know what to say,” I explained. “I don’t really know anything about this.”
“’Hi, I’ve just discovered spikes growing out of my arms. How are you?’”
A laugh escaped me. “Yeah. Something like that.”
“Are you going to?”
My stomach twisted and I grimaced. I’d meant to. Planned to. Knew I should. And yet…
“You’re not a freak, Chloe.”
“Says you.”
He reached over, putting a hand to my arm. “You’re not.”
I watched him for a moment, and then managed a nod.
“So,” he started, a touch of awkward curiosity in his tone. “Have you ever… you know…”
He made a small gesture toward my legs.
I shifted uncomfortably on the blanket. “No.”
He looked a bit surprised, but he said nothing as he returned his attention to Maddox and Baylie.
I hesitated. “I’m kind of scared to.”
Noah glanced back to me.
“It’s just…” I grimaced, wanting to explain even if I didn’t know how. “It’s terrifying, the idea of that happening. Me, changing into some thing. My legs just being… being gone. I know it sounds great on paper, being able to swim through the ocean like that or something, but…” I shook my head. “I don’t want it. Any of it.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad once you tried?” he offered.
My shoulders rolled at the thought. “I don’t want it,” I said again.
His brow furrowed, but he just nodded.
Maddox and Baylie left the riverbank and walked over to us.
“You both about ready to go?” Maddox asked.
Noah nodded. We stood, and I helped shake out the blanket before we packed it away. Maddox swung the empty cooler bag onto his shoulder and in only a few moments, we were back on the trail.
“Okay,” Baylie said to Maddox, as though continuing a topic from earlier. “But Dad’s always telling me horror stories about how terrible the crime is around there. Like, how there are all these gangs and everything. I mean, I think he just wants me to go to Kansas State, but what about that? Is it actually that bad, or…?”
Noah hung back, looking away as the others moved on.
I paused, watching him.
“Whatever you say to Baylie,” he said in a low voice, “let me tell my family about you. My grandfather’s stories… He talked about magic, about all sorts of things. But he said your kind are strong, Chloe. Very strong. You’d have to be to get through the water like you do. And most of them… He claimed you barely sleep. You hardly even need to eat. You can go for days without both, if you have to. So these guys after you, they’re going to be like that, and I just…” Noah shook his head. “I don’t want to leave my family in the dark.”
A pained expression crossed my face.
“Chloe…”
“But,” I tried, feeling a bit desperate, “even if you tell them, it’s not like the cops would believe them. It won’t change anything.”
He grimaced. “Wouldn’t you rather know, if it was you?”
I looked away, hating that he was right.
“Hey, you guys coming?” Maddox called.
Noah raised a hand in wordless request for another moment.
“They won’t treat you like a freak,” he said. “I promise.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want this. Any of it.
“Please, Chloe.”
“Okay.”
He let out a breath. “Thank you.”
I nodded.
He started down the trail. I followed, fighting hard not to imagine what could happen when the Delaneys discovered I was part fish.
~~~~~
We got back to the cabin later that afternoon, and Noah didn’t waste any time. Drawing Diane and Maddox aside, he headed into the house to talk to them – and I knew that when Peter returned from dealing with the window repair in Santa Lucina, Noah would do the same with his father. Eyeing us all curiously, Baylie took the cooler bag back to the kitchen without a word. I sank down onto one of the log benches in the front yard and plucked at the nearby grass blades, trying to believe that Noah knew his family as well as he thought.
And that I wouldn’t end up being stared at like a circus attraction for the rest of my time in this place.
Their talk didn’t take long.
I looked up as the front door swung open and Diane came outside. She walked over to the bench, and gave me a smile as she sat down.
Watching her from the corner of my eye, I waited.
“So,” she began.
I twisted a grass blade between my fingers.
“You know, when you showed up here on a bus like that, I wondered if you didn’t have a good reason.”
I didn’t respond. She sighed.
“It’s okay, honey,” she said, putting a hand on mine and stilling my fingers on the grass. “There’s nothing wrong with being different.”
I hesitated. “I had to come back,” I told her quietly. “Just out of nowhere, it was like I didn’t have a choice. And when Mom and Dad tried to stop me, I just…”
Diane nodded. “I can imagine.”
My brow furrowed in confusion.
“From the stories I’ve heard, I mean,” she explained.
I looked down.
“About your parents, though,” she continued. “When they came to get you, they told us you couldn’t swim.”
“I can’t.”
Her eyebrow climbed.
“I mean, I haven’t. I’ve never been in the water before. Not even a pool. But I thought maybe the others could teach me.”
“That was really dangerous, Chloe.”
I grimaced. “I know. I just… I wanted to get out there so badly. And they never let me learn. They’re so scared of everything to do with water.”
“Do they know what you are?”
“I don’t know.”
She let out a breath, nodding. “Maybe we can talk to them.”
I looked over at her, surprised.
Diane smiled. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that there are all kinds of mysteries and wonders in this world. Some of us get to be them. Some of us get to be a part of them. But either way,” her hand patted my knee, “they’re not something we should fear.”
On the porch, the screen door swung open and Noah came outside. Diane rose to her feet.
“You just let me know if you need to head back toward the coast, okay?” she said to me.
Feeling a bit dumbstruck, I nodded. She gave Noah another smile and then walked back to the house.
He came over and sat down. I could see the grin hovering around the edges of his mouth. I gave him a half-hearted glare.
“You want to say ‘I told you so’?” I asked.
“Well… I did.”
I shook my head. “How is it they’re so okay with this?”
“Like I said–”
“Your grandfather’s stories, I know. But those must have been some stories for you all to just… I mean…”
He shrugged, dropping his gaze to the grass. “Some stories are real.”
“But most people aren’t so ready to believe them.”
“Most people aren’t us.”
I watched him, but he didn’t look away from the ground.
The scree
n door opened and Baylie walked out onto the porch. “Hey, Diane wants to know if you guys want to do another cookout for dinner?”
Noah glanced up. “Sounds good,” he called.
“Okay, she…”
Baylie trailed off, her attention locked on something beyond us. I turned as the sound of tires on gravel carried up the hillside.
My parents’ car was pulling into the driveway.
A sinking feeling hit me, bringing with it a sense of panic I was starting to know well.
I’d wanted them to take me back. I’d wanted to get out of here, and on some level, a tiny part of me still did. But now, with the Delaneys knowing what I was and being so miraculously okay with it…
The sedan came to a stop. My mom thrust open the driver’s side door instantly.
I blinked. She looked terrible. Her brown hair was a tangle and her face seemed haggard, like she hadn’t slept in a week. On the edge of the car door, her fingers clutched the metal as though it was all that kept her upright. In the passenger seat, my father didn’t even move, and despite the shadows in the sedan, I could still see the dark circles under his eyes.
“Get in the car,” Mom ordered.
I heard the cabin’s screen door open and I glanced back to see Diane come outside.
“Chloe,” my mom snapped. “I won’t ask again. Get–”
“Hey Linda,” Diane called, her welcoming tone at odds with the tension in the yard. “I’m so glad you all could make it. You have any trouble finding the place?”
Mom blinked and turned an expression on the woman that was almost hunted. “Fine.” She looked back to me. “Chloe, car.”
Watching her warily, I rose to my feet, moving no closer. Beside me, Noah did the same.
“You don’t have to run out so fast,” Diane said.
Mom’s gaze snapped to her. “It’s fine. We just–”
“What’s going on, mom?” I interrupted.
“We’re leaving.”
I hesitated. Up on the porch, I could see Baylie watching us all.
“No,” I said.
Mom’s face flushed angrily.
“Not until you explain,” I finished.
Her gaze swept the others. “I’m not having–”
“Baylie,” Diane interrupted. “Would you go check that we have enough hotdogs for dinner?”
Brow furrowing, Baylie eyed us for a moment, and then retreated into the cabin.
“It’s okay, Linda,” Diane said, coming down the porch stairs. She glanced back as the door closed. “We know.”
Mom’s eyes widened, and she looked between me and Diane.
“Tell me what’s going on, Mom. Please.”
She stared at me, and then cast a look back into the car. In the passenger seat, my dad hung his head.
“Chloe,” she tried. “We just need to–”
Dad said something to her, so low I couldn’t hear, but at the words, she paused, a desperate expression flashing across her face. She shook her head at him.
He pushed open the door.
I swallowed hard. He looked even worse than her.
“Is there somewhere we can talk with our daughter?” he asked Diane, his voice hoarse.
She nodded. “Inside,” she said, sounding taken back.
He stepped away from the car. My mom rushed around to the passenger side, coming to support him. With a tired gesture, he waved her off.
Staring at them both, I followed them to the cabin.
“You can use our room,” Diane said to my dad as we came in.
He nodded and headed for the master bedroom, my mom reluctantly following.
Diane took my hand as I passed her. “We’ll be outside if you need us,” she assured me.
I nodded, giving her a small smile, and then trailed them through the doorway.
Mom had crossed the room to the window, and stood with one hand holding the curtain aside as she stared at the trees and the mountains. On the edge of the bed, Dad sank down with a sigh, and propped his elbows on his knees.
“Are you all okay?” I asked warily as I shut the door.
Mom turned back to me. “We’re fine. We just need to–”
“Linda,” Dad interrupted.
A pained look flickered over her face and she returned her gaze to the window.
“She said they knew,” Dad continued to me. “What do they know, Chloe?”
I hesitated. “About me.”
Mom closed her eyes. “You told me you didn’t go in the water,” she said, her voice choked.
“I-I didn’t. I just…”
A grimace twisted my face. I didn’t know where to begin about Jesse, the intruders at the Delaneys’ house, or that night on the beach with Zeke – and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. It wasn’t the point. None of this was the point, because clearly they knew the truth.
And they’d never said anything.
They’d made up stories about dangers in the ocean. They’d punished me for looking at pictures of the sea, for wanting to go swimming, or for even touching the neighbor’s garden hose. They’d done all they could to keep me from every drop of water in the world.
And they’d never once told me the truth about why.
Anger built up in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“We told you it wasn’t safe,” Mom said.
I trembled.
“You should have obeyed us,” she continued. “Then we wouldn’t be in this position.”
A breath escaped me.
“Chloe–”
“You lied!” I shouted.
She blinked. “We–”
“You lied to me! All those years, and you just – who are you? Are you guys dehaian? Are you something else? What the hell is going on that made you just lie and lie and never once tell me anything about–”
“Chloe!” Dad yelled.
I cut off, breathing hard.
“You’re right,” he said more quietly.
I stared at him. By the window, Mom turned away.
“You’re right,” he repeated. “We did lie. And we should have told you the truth a long time ago.”
He looked down at his hands. “How did you find out? Your mother said something about a boy?”
My brow furrowed as I tried to regroup. “Yeah. Zeke. He saved me. When I fell overboard.”
He nodded, not taking his gaze from his folded hands. “Did you change at all?”
I shifted my weight, suddenly uncomfortable at talking about that part of things with my father. “H-he said I started to. I don’t remember.”
Dad drew a breath. “And he told you about this then?”
“Later. After the… after the hospital. I went onto the beach and he was there. He showed me the, um, other stuff. Some of it. But I didn’t go in the water,” I added to Mom. “Just to the edge of it.”
On the curtain, her hand tightened.
“But I don’t understand,” I continued. “You guys aren’t… I mean, you’re sick. You hate it here.” I paused. “You’re not like me at all.”
Dad looked away.
“You…” he started. “Your mom and I…”
“We adopted you,” Mom said, her voice choked.
I stared at her, hearing the words though they made no sense.
“When you were born,” Dad filled in. “We adopted you then.”
My mouth opened, but whatever had wanted to emerge just evaporated before becoming sound.
“Your birthmother was my sister,” he continued. “She was… she got involved with someone she shouldn’t have. And when it came time for you to be born… she died.”
Everything felt numb. My arms and legs were thick and weird, and every motion or action I could think to take just seemed artificial, like I was an actor in some absurd play we were all suddenly carrying out.
“We knew we’d have to tell you someday,” he said. “We just… we wanted to wait for the right time.”
A gasping laugh escaped me.
“Chloe
,” Mom tried.
The laugh took on the edge of a shriek, and I cut it off, digging my nails into my palms.
“We always wanted children,” Dad said. “But we never could have any of our own. And when Susan – your birthmother – died, we couldn’t leave you to some child welfare system. Not with what we knew you’d have to deal with.”
I looked over at him, my brow furrowing.
“Your father was a dehaian named Kreyus,” Dad explained. “And Susan, Linda, me… we’re something else. Like you said, we don’t do well near the ocean.” He grimaced. “We’re called landwalkers. And basically, we’re the dehaians’ opposites. We used to be the same, used to live in the ocean like they do, but there was… a situation. Our ancestors and theirs messed with powers they shouldn’t have, and as a result, our people split into two groups. Dehaians who have to stay by the ocean, and landwalkers who can’t come near it. Our abilities and everything that made us like them went away, and for us even the shortest time in proximity to the sea can be damaging now. We have medicines that can get us close to the ocean for brief periods, but they…” He glanced to Mom. “They come with serious side effects, and only serve to delay the pain.
“Susan liked to push the limits, though,” he continued. “She always was something of a wild child. And on one of her adventures, she met a dehaian who claimed to be doing the same. They were only together for a little while, before the effect of the ocean drew Kreyus back and drove her away. But when she returned home, she was pregnant with you.”
The ground felt unsteady, and all my breaths seemed to be coming in short gasps. Swallowing hard, I forced my voice to work, though the sound that emerged was nothing like what I was used to hearing. “And she… she died?”
“I’m so sorry.”
“W-what about him? Did he ever…?”
Dad looked down briefly. “Susan never told us anything beyond his name.”
I trembled, wanting to sit down, run away, or do something that made more sense than this conversation.
Than some other dad-thing being out there somewhere.
“But why… why’d you never…”
He drew a breath. “We thought it would be better if you didn’t know. We were just trying to keep you safe.”
I stared at him, uncomprehending.
Dad grimaced. “Children of dehaians and landwalkers together… sweetheart, they almost never survive. Most of them are stillborn or die as babies. The two sides of their ancestry just can’t coexist inside one person. And even if the children do manage to live long enough to grow up at all, there’s still the fact that sooner or later the two halves will become unbalanced.” He sighed. “We used to be dehaian. That side is stronger. Eventually, it begins to emerge and draws them to the ocean… but the change is too much for them. It sends their systems into shock.” His brow furrowed. “And they die.”
