by Dean Murray
I turned it over in my hand and studied the faces again. A young black girl with a wide, shining smile. Sheriff Hollingsworth? Next to her was an Asian girl that looked exactly like Lark Chen. Her mother maybe? That would put her at about the right age. The other three girls looked similar. White girls with blonde hair of varying lengths. But I knew the girl in the middle. Her smile beamed up at me from the photograph like a greeting from the grave.
Claire.
Knowing her name made my heart long for her.
But how was this possible? My mother had lived here in Peachville? Even if I believed in coincidence, this was way beyond that. What were the chances of me finding a picture of my mother here in a group home in Peachville, Georgia?
My gut told me it had nothing at all to do with chance.
Not Anymore
The following morning, Ella Mae pronounced me well enough to go back to school. To tell the truth, I was dreading it. Even though being at home had been kind of boring, I had no idea what to expect from the people at school. Agnes told me that no one believed I was responsible for what happened to Tori, which was a relief. But at the same time, everyone knew I had been questioned. So far, Tori's killer was still out there, and some people were bound to suspect me just because I'd been brought in.
Something tugged at the back of mind. Why had they brought me in for questioning? There had to be something linking me to the crime, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what. When I asked Ella Mae about it, she said the fever must have caused some temporary memory loss. Apparently, the doctor told her it was a possible side effect. The trouble was—I didn't remember seeing any doctors.
I hated this feeling of constant forgetfulness. I had an idea about my life since I first came to Shadowford, but when I tried to recall conversations and specific events, everything got confusing.
“You coming?”
Agnes stood outside the Shadowford van and waved me out. The ride to school had seemed short. My mind must have been wandering again. I was doing that a lot lately.
I walked toward the school with Agnes, pausing only for a moment to look up at the large stone demon statue. I remembered passing out by the statue my first day of school, and there was more, wasn't there? Some other connection to this statue I couldn't quite place.
“Are you sure you're okay to be back already?” Agnes said. “You seem kinda out of it.”
I shook my head slightly. “I'm fine. Just having a hard time remembering stuff, you know?”
“Well, hopefully you'll remember all the stuff you learned before you were out sick. I think you've got a calculus test today.”
I groaned and followed Agnes into the building.
For the most part, people were more polite than I expected. Sure, there were the whispers and some extra-long glances my direction, but no one yelled at me or called me a murderer or anything obvious. The part of the day I'd been dreading, however, was lunch. When the lunch bell rang, I felt a twist in my stomach.
The cheerleaders. I didn't want to face them. What if they all blamed me for what happened to Tori?
I went through the line, then took the empty seat next to Agnes. I barely listened to the conversation around me, keeping my eye on the center table. I knew when they'd arrived. Everyone at the table turned to look, their stares lingering for a moment longer than you'd expect. That was the way it was with everyone when the cheerleaders walked into a room. It was like you couldn't take your eyes off them.
I set my burger down on the plate untouched. I couldn't eat anything. My stomach was in knots. I risked a look back and saw the three friends walking together toward their table. Brooke stopped mid-stride and looked straight at me. My mouth opened and I sucked in a gulp of air. I wanted to look away, but I froze instead.
Brooke turned to Lark and whispered something in her ear. Lark glanced my way, then motioned to Allison. All three of them were staring straight at me. I forced my gaze away.
“Oh my God, they're coming over,” Agnes whispered.
My eyes widened and all my muscles tensed.
“Harper Madison,” Brooke said. She was standing near my chair. So close the edge of her sweater brushed against my arm.
“Yes?” I took a deep breath and waited for the insults. The anger. The accusations.
“We need to talk,” Lark said. To my surprise, she reached over and grabbed my lunch tray. She started walking toward the center table with her friends, then turned back to me. “Come on.”
I shared a confused look with Agnes, then shrugged. “I guess I'll be back,” I told her.
Agnes looked from me to the group of cheerleaders. “Fine,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her. “Just go.”
Was she mad at me? Did she think they were asking me over there so they could be my friends? No way! These people were probably going to filet me and eat me for lunch. I started to explain it to her, but she had already turned away from me. Screw it. I had enough to worry about.
I grabbed my backpack and headed over to the popular table. Drake and Foster were already sitting down. I glanced at Drake, expecting him to ignore me as usual, but instead he stood up and pulled out a chair for me.
“Thanks,” I muttered. Maybe he was building me up so he could knock me down again. I sat.
Lark put my tray down and smiled. “You know, you don't have to eat this crap if you don't want to.”
Small talk? I was so confused. “I don't really like to get up early and make my own lunch,” I said. “It's easier to just get food here, I guess.”
“I just mean that if you wanted, I could have my cook make something for you too,” she said.
“Her mom's got a private chef at the mayor's mansion,” Allison said. “The food is amazing."
Had I accidentally stepped through some portal to an alternate dimension? What was going on here?
Another boy from the football team came over carrying a bunch of paper bags. “Hey,” he said. He smiled at me, then pulled out a plastic container. “Who had the turkey?”
“Me,” Allison said, reaching for it. “Harper, have you met the boys? This is Jerry. Then Foster there in the white shirt. And Drake in the blue.”
“She knows me,” Drake said. He raised his eyebrows at me, then smiled.
I half smiled, confused as hell. I wondered if they were working to make me feel comfortable so they could later embarrass me in front of everyone or what?
Jerry passed out the rest of the food and everyone sat down to eat.
“So, Harper, we heard you've been real sick,” Brooke said. “How's your first day back at school?”
“We're so psyched to have you back,” Lark said. “My mom was telling me about the whole interview thing at the police station. I can't imagine how horrible that must have been for you. She was so angry the police brought you in like that.”
What whole interview thing? I didn't want to admit I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Yeah, that was crazy,” Brooke said. “Everyone knows you barely even knew Tori. Why would you know anything about what happened to her?”
“Exactly,” Allison said. “Totally ridiculous.”
I had no idea how to respond, so I sat quietly.
“What are your plans for this weekend, Harper?” Brooke looked at me expectantly.
The question threw me a bit. Why did she care? “I guess I'm just hanging around Shadowford as usual,” I said. “Nothing too exciting.”
“Are you planning to go to the game?” Drake asked.
“I guess. I think Shadowford girls always go.” When I first came to PHS, the people at this table were making fun of me for being a so-called 'Shadowford freak'. Now, however, they let the reference pass by without comment, as if it didn't bother them at all.
“Sweet,” Lark said. “But don't sit with those girls, okay? Come up and sit in our section.”
I nearly choked on my water. “Why are you guys being so nice to me?”
The table grew quiet and everyone stared at
me like they had no idea what I was talking about.
“Why wouldn't we be nice?”
“Just a few weeks ago you were making fun of me right here at this table,” I said. I couldn't take it anymore. Being silent just wasn't my style. I had to know the truth. “So, why are you being nice to me now? Because if you're just waiting for the right opportunity to make a fool out of me, I can walk away right now.”
I sounded a lot angrier than I intended. On the table, my fork rattled slightly on my tray. I slammed my hand over it to still the sound.
Lark was the first to speak. “I know we were totally rude that first week you were here. Tori could be kind of, well, bossy. She was upset with you over that whole ketchup incident. But now that Tori's gone, we all realize just how important it is to make up for the mistakes we've made.”
So that's all I was to them? A mistake they'd made? And why weren't they more upset about Tori's death? They were acting like it was ancient history. I didn't know what kind of games they were playing, but I didn't want any part of it. I stood up, practically knocking my chair over backward.
“I need to get to class,” I said. “Thanks for the offer, but I'll just sit with Agnes tomorrow at the game, if I decide to go.”
I took off before they had a chance to say anything else. Being nice to me was just their way of clearing their group conscience for being mean to me that first week, but how long was it really going to last? A couple of days? Then I'd go back to being the Shadowford reject who didn't deserve the time of day from any of them. Well, I didn't feel like being their little project of the week.
“Harper, hold up.”
I turned to see Drake striding toward me. I stood in the doorway and when he caught up to me, I stepped through to the courtyard. He walked beside me as I headed toward my next class.
“What happened back there? I thought you'd be happy,” he said.
“Happy that you guys are showing me charity?” I asked. “No thanks.”
“Whoa, what makes you think it's charity? I think things got off on the wrong foot between us, that's all. We were all hoping to make some changes. You know, extend the invitation for you to hang out or something.”
I stopped and turned to him. “You have to try to understand where I'm coming from here, Drake. You guys were all really mean to me my first week here. Then I get practically arrested and can't even remember why. And now, after being out sick with a terrible fever for a full week, I come back to find that you all are acting completely different toward me. How am I supposed to react? Eternally grateful that you're all descending from your thrones long enough to converse with a low-life like me?”
He put his palm on my cheek. I backed away, surprised, but he stepped forward and ran his fingertip along my chin line. “I was a real jerk to treat you like that,” he said softly. “I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but I'm willing to do anything it takes to convince you that I'm sincere.”
I swallowed hard. Was I overreacting?
“That first day we met in my sister's store, I thought you were beautiful,” he said. He took my hand in his and caressed the side of my index finger with his thumb. “I was wrong to judge you for where you lived. But I don't care about any of that, anymore. After Tori died, we realized that life's too precious to judge people on stupid things like where they live or who their parents are. We all really felt bad about how we treated you. But it's more than that.”
“What do you mean?” My face tingled where his finger had been.
“There's just something about you,” he said. “You're different from everyone else. We all can feel it. You're special, Harper.”
Did he mean that? No one had ever spoken to me so warmly. It made my insides flutter.
“Harper?” I turned to see who had called my name. A guy with the clearest green eyes and brown, spiky hair was staring at me and Drake. I felt that familiar tickle at the back of my brain. I knew this guy from somewhere, but I couldn't remember his name.
“What do you want, Jackson?” Drake asked.
“I wasn't talking to you, Ashworth.”
Jackson. It didn't ring a bell, yet he obviously knew who I was. “Do I know you?” I asked.
His face went pale. He looked from me to Drake and back again. His gaze went distant for a moment and his shoulders slumped slightly.
“Not really,” he said. “Not anymore.”
A sadness came over me that I didn't quite understand. Something in that guy's eyes had seemed so familiar. Like I'd known him in another life.
“Loser,” Drake mumbled, then turned his attention back to me. “So what do you say? Please come to the game and sit in the reserved section? Then come out with us after the game?”
What the hell? I nodded. “Sure,” I said. “Why not?”
I suddenly felt as though I had nothing more to lose.
A Better Life
I spent the rest of the week sitting with Drake and the popular kids at lunch. At first, I felt awkward hanging out with Drake, knowing he used to date Allison. I didn't want to do anything that might make any of them upset with me. But when I asked Lark about it one day after lunch, she said that Allison didn't care at all. She said Drake and Allison were really just friends.
In the mornings, Allison, Brooke, and Lark had started waiting for me by the statue. It was like I had just slipped into their crowd and was now an accepted part of the group. And Lark was right, there was never any weird tension between Allison and me about Drake. I started to relax into my new friendships.
Agnes didn't seem to be too happy about my new friends. I told her she was welcome to hang out with us, but she said she wouldn't feel comfortable. When I mentioned it to Brooke, she scrunched up her nose.
“No offense,” she said. “But Agnes is kind of a pain in the you-know-what.”
“No, she isn't. She's really nice. She was the first friend I made here in Peachville.”
“I think she's nice, too,” Lark said. “But the problem is that she never stops talking. It's like blah-blah-blah all the dang time.”
“It gets kind of old,” Allison said.
I couldn't really argue with that, but I liked Agnes. She'd always been so nice to me. Well, except the past few days, I guess.
“Besides, you can hang out with Agnes anytime,” Brooke said. “But I just don't think she'd really fit in with us.”
I wondered if this had anything to do with Shadowford, but I guess if they really did have something against the place, they wouldn't have changed their minds about me. I still had no idea what made them want to be my friend, but it was nice to be part of a group for once. I'd changed schools so often that I'd pretty much always been on the outside. Being part of the popular crowd was a whole new experience for me.
In class, it even seemed like the teachers were nicer to me. A few of my teachers even gave me extra time on projects and tests. Mrs. King was especially generous, letting me skip a paper on Hemingway.
“I've seen your transcripts,” she said. “You're way ahead of most of the rest of the students in your reading.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I could really use the extra time. I was a little behind after being out so long.” That wasn't totally true. School out here in the sticks was way easier than some of the schools up in Atlanta. But at the same time, I did have a lot of homework to catch up on.
“Have you ever thought about trying out for the team?” she asked.
At first, I had no idea what she'd been talking about. “The team?”
“The cheerleading squad. Unfortunately, we've got an empty spot now that Tori's gone, and I'd really like to fill it with another sophomore. We're having tryouts next week if you're interested.”
A strange shiver ran down my spine. I had never really considered trying out for a team sport or anything before. To be honest, I never stayed at one school long enough to really get involved. Then I thought of the picture I'd found of my mother. She had been a cheerleader here at this school twenty ye
ars ago. Maybe it was fate. Besides, I'd been feeling off ever since I got sick. I needed something to pull me back into the moment. “That might be fun,” I said.
When I told the other girls about it at lunch, they freaked out.
“Oh my God! That's the best idea ever!” Lark said. She got up out of her chair and crossed over to give me a big hug. “I know you'd make the team, too. You've just got the look.”
“I've never done anything like it before, though. I'm totally clumsy and uncoordinated sometimes. What if I can't learn the cheers fast enough?”
“We'll help you,” Brooke said. “If she's looking for a sophomore to fill the spot, then you won't have too much competition anyway.”
Competition. I suddenly thought of Agnes and how badly she wanted to be on the team. A knot of guilt formed in my stomach. I couldn't really back out now, though. I'd already told Mrs. King I would try out.
“After the game on Friday night, we should totally have a sleepover,” Lark said.
“Ooh, we can teach you the cheers,” Allison said, clapping. “Then you'll be way ahead of the other girls before practice even starts on Monday.”
“We can have it at my house,” Brooke said. “My parents won't mind at all.”
“Is this a girls only party or are guys invited too?” Drake asked. He poked Foster in the ribs and they laughed.
Brooke rolled her eyes. “Duh. Girls only. But nice try.”
“I was planning on throwing a party out at the lake house after the game,” Foster said. “But it won't be any fun if you ladies can't be there.”
“Do it next weekend,” Lark said. “We can celebrate Harper making the squad.”
Foster considered it. “All right, that works. It's another home game,” he said. “So, party at the lake next Friday after the game. I expect all of you to be there.”
I studied him. Foster had been dating Tori for over a year, yet here he was just a few weeks after she'd been brutally murdered, throwing a party for his friends like nothing happened. It was as though she was a part of their lives one day, and the next she was gone, and it was no big deal. They were all just moving on with their lives. It was weird.
