by Dean Murray
I was stronger than this. I had to be. Cole and I had dinner last night and, after another story-telling session, I was even more convinced that I had to remain on course. I still didn’t understand what deal my father had struck to allow me to stay with him and not be taken directly to Queen Julia. She could force me into this marriage but hopefully I could do something good with it. I sighed as I heard Cole’s story rolling through my head once again. He spoke of torture chambers, of Hunters forcing themselves into people’s mind and extracting the information they wanted. He spent a good deal of time going through the exile of the AniMages.
“Amelia, did you know that AniMages were once respected by all Immortals? That their ability to become any animal, to commune so closely with nature, was something we actually celebrated, not persecuted?” Cole looked so sad as he spoke and I wondered if this was one of those memories he’d been given that wouldn’t go away. I simply shook my head and he continued. “No one really understands what exactly set the Queen on her rampage against AniMages, but one day they were a part of the council and the next they were being banished. Whole communities of AniMages were flushed out by the Hunters. The Queen ordered them out of the castle, off the lands that had been their hunting grounds for centuries. When villages weren’t disbanded fast enough, the Hunters went in and forced the issue. She tried to tell people she never killed them, only forced them out. But, I’ve seen it, Amelia. Women. Children. Grandparents. Dead.”
We were both quiet a moment as his words sunk in. I was sure visions of the massacre others had passed on to him were pushing through his mind as his eyes took on a far-off look. With a shake of his head, he refocused and kept talking. “The queen tried to justify her case by saying that the AniMages had been planning to overthrow the crown. Eventually, the Mages realized it was she herself who had that plan all along. She told people they were aberrations, a race never meant to be born and an evil mix of uncontrollable animals lucky enough to have some Mage abilities. She convinced the Mages that if they continued to allow intermarriage between the races that one day their children would come out all animal, no Mage left. She actually had people believing that the AniMages’ animal sides held the most control and they couldn’t be considered actual people because they were first animals. The AniMages that stood up against her were thrown in prison and weakened until they couldn’t shift out of their animal form anymore. They were collared and chained up. Hundreds of them.”
A quick jolt shot through me, a visceral reaction spreading from the deep recesses where my power was hovering, sending rage and shock through me in waves. “She’s a monster. Cole, I just don’t understand how this happened. How is it that everyone just blindly believed her? That they turned on their friends and neighbors so quickly? How was she able to keep everyone from even discussing it? I can’t believe all of our people were so blind and stupid.” I was just flabbergasted to think we had allowed this to happen. But, it was fascinating how ignorant a collective people can be. History has shown us that time and time again.
He shook his head and I saw light green flow around the edges of his irises. My own power responded to the surge in his.
“The best I’ve been able to gather is that between Queen Julia and the Hunters, they had something on everyone with any sway. They blackmailed. They threatened. And, a lot of people did what mom and dad did, they just left. They refused to be a part of it, but they also refused to do anything about it. Most of the people who would actually talk to me were ones who walked away from it all and tried to start a new life. As long as the Mage’s didn’t cause a fuss, the queen just left them alone.”
I pulled the bottom of my lip between my teeth and tried to breathe. “It just seems so cowardly. To walk away from something like this. Our people needed mom and the other Elders. They needed someone with power to fight for them, not to just walk away.” I was getting worked up. So much emotion coursed through me — anger, sadness, the want to do something right now to change things. Electricity crackled in my veins and I could feel the throbbing at the base of my neck signaling a release I wouldn’t be able to stop if I didn’t calm down.
Cole reached out, laying his hand over mine, and I instantly felt relief. His power was a soothing balm over the frenzied and frantic pulses running through me. My nerves were slowly becoming less raw and ragged as my whole system calmed. It was one of the few times my magic wasn’t angry for being tempered.
“Maybe that’s why this happened to you, Ame. You are the last Elder for a reason,” he said, looking far too hopeful. “Because you have the strength to do what no one else seemed to be able to do. You can marry the prince and fight for the right reasons. We just need to get you ready.”
I hadn’t ever thought of it that way. I could marry the prince like I was supposed to, yet have my own agenda. I had spent my life living a lie, trying to be someone I wasn’t. How was this any different? Someday Queen Julia wouldn’t be queen anymore and that would make me the queen. I would no longer be a pawn. I could change things. Life could be different if I could just learn to use what I had before I was sent to the castle and she had full access to what I was capable of. Pining away for what might have been with Aidan seemed so small in comparison to what I was up against.
I sat on the couch, attempting to care about homework but really thinking about Bethany. She wasn’t avoiding me per say, but she wasn’t being overly communicative either. I wanted to apologize again, but my own thoughts were a mess. It was as if an entire team was playing ping pong inside my skull. The thoughts rammed back and forth across the space, vaulting to one side and then the other.
I wonder what Aidan’s doing?
Don’t think about him.
What am I really supposed to do about a crazy queen?
You’re gonna have to figure it out. You’re the Elder.
Why me?
Quit with the pity party.
I was exhausted. I was lonely. I needed someone who got it.
I finally gave in to the instinct I’d been fighting for days and dialed Rynna’s number. It was past time for a check in and I needed to know if dad had showed back up yet.
“Well, hello there, Amelia!” I always loved when Rynna answered the phone. She was always genuinely happy to be talking to me. I swear, I could feel her love and warmth through the phone, wrapping me up in hugs like she used to when I was home.
“Hey, Ryn! I’ve missed you. How are things?” I tried to project the happiness she made me feel, but it didn’t quite make it to my voice.
“Things are fine, dear. But, you don’t sound fine. Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.
I groaned, but was secretly happy to be so easily found out. “I suck at hiding things. That’s what B always says, too. Except, she’s mad at me, which seems to be the theme lately. I just keep pushing people away. Everyone I care about I have to keep at arm’s length. I’ve just had it, Ryn. I’ve had it with the lying, and the power craziness, and always having to be the one giving things up for the good of the cause.” I was whining and I knew it.
Rynna paused for a second, but I was used to her processing time. Every word was chosen carefully and she always thought every situation through. She was the voice of reason after too many of my father’s tirades.
“I’ve been waiting for this, Amelia. It’s what I was both afraid of and hopeful for when you left us,” she said. There was a strange mix of pride and frustration in her voice.
“You’ve been waiting for me to call and say I feel like I have multi-personality disorder? That I can’t control my power? That I lead a double-life and I question every day why the heck I’m doing all of this? Especially the more I learn about the wonderful and glorious Queen Julia?” Sarcasm laced my words, but tears filled my eyes. There was always someone who knew more than I did. I should just be used to it by now.
“Well, that is essentially true,” she started. “But, what I truly hoped was that you would go out into the world and realize there wa
s more to it than our little Immortal soap opera. Don’t get me wrong, Amelia, what’s happening in our realm is serious and has dire consequences for all of us, but you are a child in the scheme of things and your life was taken from you.”
I was shocked at the force behind her words. The anger I heard in the timbre of her voice. Rynna was the strong and steady one. She believed in the system. Or, so I thought. “But, Ryn, this queen, she’s a monster. And I’m supposed to marry her son. And I’m an Elder. The last Elder. Doesn’t that make all of this my problem? It’s on me to do something about all of this. Cole doesn't have what I have. That’s what I keep hearing. That I’m the Elder and I’m the only one left who can change things. Or, at the very least, be able to stop her from using me for something terrible.”
She sighed and it was a few moments more before she spoke again.
“Let me tell you a story, Amelia. I once knew another Elder with a very similar problem. She was beautiful, like you, with your independence, spirit, and power, too. Everyone loved this girl. She grew up privileged, with people always watching her everywhere she went. You’d think she would have let it all go to her head, but she didn’t. She was kind and gracious and always thought of everyone else before herself.”
“When she turned eighteen, she was also betrothed. But, by then, she had already met her one true love. Her parents told her it was for the good of the kingdom. That she had a duty to her family and her people. She tried to listen. She walked away from the boy she loved, spent all of her time at the castle buried in books and tribunals with the other Elder families. She tried her best to do her duty. But, all the while, her heart wasn’t in it. She started to fade. Her internal fire dimmed. Her power wouldn’t cooperate. She stopped smiling and she wandered around as if she were lost. She had only met her fiancée once and she was already a shadow of herself.”
I hadn’t moved from my original position on the bed, rapt with need for more of Rynna’s words. I wasn’t fading away yet, but it seemed as if I could. Like I could slowly lose the pieces of myself to this duty. Pieces I was only just finding and putting together.
“The boy she loved couldn’t stand it. He also understood the duty that fell to her and tried his best to honor her wishes, but as he watched her wither away, he realized he couldn’t do it any longer. So, one day as she walked her normal path to the castle, he hid in the bushes and snatched her off the path. She realized immediately who held her, as their magic had been too far apart for too long, and wept into his arms. He offered her two choices. He said that he would leave the village forever and let her do the duty she was bound to, or they could run away that very night. That she could choose love and the rest of the world would have to figure out how to save themselves. He told her that she couldn’t sacrifice herself for others unless it was truly what she felt she wanted to do. That she was choosing her fate; that her heart knew her path and she needed to trust it.”
Rynna paused again and I caught the sound of a sniffle on her end. She cleared her throat and ended her story with words I should have seen coming but was still shocked to hear.
“Your mother and father ran from our village that night and never returned, Amelia. They lived many blissfully happy years together and she never once voiced regret for choosing love. So, I want you to think about that. As you learn more about who you are and what you are capable of, know that you are not the first to walk this path and that the choices truly are yours. Your heart is yours to give, it is no ones to take. Not a queen. Not a prince. No one.”
“Wait. Ryn, that means you know more, right? You know more about who I am and what I can do?” I was so hopeful to finally get answers from someone I trusted. Someone who could tell me the whole truth.
“Amelia, I’ve already said more than I should have. I have to go. But think about what I said. Choose your path.” And with that, she hung up.
I stared at the disconnected phone in my hand, replaying her words in my head and connecting the dots from her words to my situation. Could I do that? Could I walk away from this? I didn’t have someone I loved asking me to run away, but I had something. Well, maybe I had something if I hadn’t ruined it completely already.
And, my mother. The mystery of a woman I knew so little about; she had been forced to make this same choice. I suddenly felt closer to her than I ever could have dreamed and found myself picturing her and my father in their younger days, in love and happy. Wishing I could have known those people for just a short time. I dropped back onto the bed and let my mind wander down paths it had never been. What could my life truly be like if it were my own choice?
It wasn’t until much later that I realized Rynna had never answered my original question and I still had no idea where my father was or how he was doing.
Chapter 8
I circled our apartment for the fifteenth time, pacing the length of the living room and hallway, past the framed photos and cute decor we’d collected over the past few months. My mind was going in so many different directions, I just needed Bethany to get home already — before I changed my mind, yet again. Finally, I heard the entry door to the complex slam shut and her quick steps up the flight of stairs. I laughed a little at the shock on her face as I wrenched the door open. She stood on the other side wearing a look of surprise with her keys held up toward where the lock should have been.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and yanked her in for a hug. This time, she did laugh and asked into my shoulder, “What’s gotten into you, chica?” I pulled away and couldn’t stop my grin. “I need your help, B. I’ve been an idiot. You were right. I do want to date Aidan. I like him. I really like him. You’ve got to help me get him back.”
That Cheshire smile was back as her eyes sparkled with mischief and she rubbed her palms together. “You’ve come to the right place, sugar. No one meddles in love lives better than a southern girl,” she said, her accent heavily exaggerated. We couldn’t stop the fit of laughter that brought on and collapsed onto opposite ends of the couch to make our plan.
I tugged at the bottom of my deep purple dress, already feeling uncomfortable with how short and fitted it was. Bethany came up behind me, smacking my hand. “Stop that now. You’ll mess up my masterpiece!”
I was standing in front of the mirror, debating on the right shoes for my outfit, and honestly couldn’t believe the miracle B had pulled off. She was still twirling and twisting the curls she’d spent an hour on, spraying hair spray here and there. As I continued to switch from one foot to the other, trying to make a decision, she finally let out a deeply exaggerated sigh and said, “The black ones. Good gravy, Amelia, if he’s looking at your shoes I’ve failed at life.” I couldn’t help but laugh, yet it was cut short as panic set in.
“Are you sure this is a good plan, B? I mean, did you tell Micah what we’re doing? Does he understand that we’re just going to crash their man date?” She gave me a sideways glance and hid behind my hair.
“Ohmygod! You didn’t tell him! B! This was your plan. I can’t do this. This is stupid. He’s going to think I’m an idiot.” I kicked out my leg, effectively tossing the silver shoe I wasn’t wearing across the room and feeling a measure of satisfaction at the sound of it smacking against my closet door. Only, now I had on one three-inch heel and not the other, so as I tried to glare at my best friend for being a deviant little coward, I looked and felt ridiculous. She stifled a laugh at my glare mixed with my odd posture, so I grabbed an old stuffed animal off the bed and chucked it at her head.
“I know. I know!” Bethany was laughing as she dodged the bear and held her hands up in surrender. “I know, girl. But, it’s all part of the plan! I’ve been on him for days about how he was such a jerk to Aidan and Aidan doesn’t seem to have many friends, so I subtly suggested they should check out Cole’s gym.” She shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “They’re both into training, right? And then I might have also subtly suggested they get some food.”
“B? Subtle? You’re about as subtle as a shovel
to the forehead.” She shrugged again and smirked, giving me a wink. “Girl, I get things done. Now, put your damn shoe on and let’s go.”
As we pulled up to the restaurant where Micah told Bethany they’d be eating, she and I were still debating the intelligence of sending them to Cole’s gym.
“B, you understand that my brother is going to freak out if he figures out I’m dating Aidan, right?” I groaned at the thought. “I’ve never dated anyone. You know how protective he is. You couldn’t have sent them anywhere else?”
That was an understatement. When Cole figured out what I was doing, he was going to be furious. For so many reasons, not the least of which would be taking my focus off of wrangling my power. Which, at the moment, was pushing and shoving its way out of its box and into my system. Just to calm my nerves, I gave it a little push and let a small stream whiz through me. The eager anticipation it gave off at being close to Aidan again replaced the stone in my stomach and I was able to unbuckle my seatbelt and turn to Bethany.
She grabbed my hand, likely expecting my nerves. Squeezing it, she said, “Girl, I know you. You always do everything everyone else wants you to do. You’ve been a grown up your whole stinking life. It’s great your brother is back in your life but don’t you forget that he disappeared on you for years, leaving you on your own. Don’t you let him make your decisions for you. College — no… life, Amelia, is about doing it your way. Even if all you do is date Aidan for the next two weeks and then decide there’s someone else better on down the line, so be it. This is your life. Your choice. You make it.”
It was the second time in as many days I’d gotten the same speech from two women I loved and trusted. Two women who knew me. As I let out the breath I’d been holding, I said, “You’re right, B, as usual. It’s my turn.”
