by L. J. Red
What would that be like, she wondered? To be so wrapped up in each other, so consumed by devotion that nothing else even mattered? No embarrassment or nerves ever had to hurt you because you were so sure of each other’s love that you felt no anxiety at all. Eden sighed, tearing her gaze away. Love. That wasn’t something she was ever going to know about. Not with her past, not with all the scars on her soul that Riker left her. And not just on her soul, but on her body too. As her mind strayed to a dark memory, her hand lifted to trace the line across her waist, but the moment she realized what she was doing, she forced her memory away and tugged her top down nervously. She didn’t want to remember that. The pain, the fear, the resolution to leave him, and what came after. The fight. His fangs. She shook, her gaze going over the dancers, catching May’s eyes. She forced herself to look less miserable as May split away from Neal and approached her. “Hey, don’t worry about the moves,” May said, coming up beside her. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you. It’s fine to just dance, just have fun.”
“Yeah,” Eden gritted out, pulling a false smile on her face. “I’m good, thanks. I don’t really like dancing. I’m just really terrible at it.”
May was silent a second, then she nodded firmly. “I’ve got it,” she said, and she spun on her heel and walked away. Eden breathed a sigh of relief. Good, she was going to leave her in peace. Then she realized May was walking to the hi-fi.
May turned off the music, and Eden felt a sinking feeling. Oh no, was she going to get blamed for ruining everyone’s night? But instead of stopping completely, May fiddled with the hi-fi, and then turned with a wide grin. “Ok, guys, we’re changing it up. Break it up, lovebirds,” she called to Dana and Lucian. A thumping pop song began coming out of the speakers. “Terrible dancing!” May shouted with a wide smile, and she started throwing her hands out from her sides and contorting her body side to side. Dana started laughing uncontrollably at the sight, bending over.
First, Eden thought she was laughing at May, but then she realized May was laughing too. In fact, even the usually impassive warriors showed a softening around their eyes, a slight curve at their lips. The laughter wasn’t vicious, Eden realized, it was contagious. The beginnings of a grin began to lift her lips. Hope danced over to her, doing some kind of attempt at a moonwalk, and a smile on her face as well. Eden found her mood lifting at the sight of her sister having fun. She swayed a little from side to side, and encouraged by her sister’s grin and May’s ridiculous arm flapping, she found herself moving forward, joining the others again, but this time, letting go of her idea of getting it right, slowly letting go of her worries about making a fool of herself. Dana was spinning around Lucian, giving him exaggerated come-hither looks and wiggling her hips in a way that looked less sexy and more aerobics class. Even Hope was getting into it, jumping in the air, spinning, and then holding her head in her hands from dizziness, giggling like crazy. Eden lifted her hands and spun around, spreading her fingers wide. She felt a band of tension release from around her chest as the music lifted her up, the laughter intermingling with the lyrics. She felt a widening, an opening within her, like the space between her ribs was expanding. Hope reached out and took her hands and they danced together, smiling at each other for the first time in months.
She understood suddenly why Dana had called it a fuck-off dance-off. She had no time for the negative emotions weighing her down; she was spinning, she was moving, they couldn’t catch her. She spun from hand to hand, passed from Hope to May, to Dana, touching fingertips to Lucian, for a second, forgetting her nerves around him, so caught up in the movement. There was a feeling swelling underneath the music and the dancing, a feeling she couldn’t quite place, until the music took her back to her sister again and she looked into Hope’s eyes, so similar to her own. Family, she realized. Home. That was what she was feeling. She stumbled to a stop, this time truly from exhaustion, not from fear, and she looked at the Shadows, still dancing, still smiling. This was a family, she realized, and a wave of longing went through her, so strong it almost bent her in two.
She wanted that. She wanted to be part of that. To be part of a family like this, to have the support and the love she saw so clearly shining between them. Her gaze caught on a figure at the edge of the dance floor. The pale vampire was standing alone, watching them dance, and her heart went out to him. He had stood apart the whole time, she realized, and she felt a surge of kinship with him, seeing the echo of her own longing in his eyes. She made a snap decision and walked around the dancers toward him. In the corner of her eye, she saw Hope detach and come their way but she thought nothing of it, focused instead on the pale vampire, gathering her courage until she stood before him. “Would you like to dance?” she asked nervously, completely missing the flash of envy on her sister’s face.
Chapter 13
“With me?” Rune asked in shock. How could the fledgling vampire want to dance with him? He had no idea what to do with this modern, thumping music. She could not mean it. He began to shake his head, then caught how her face started to fall, and he halted.
Rune had noticed her stepping out of the gathering. Standing on the edges of the group, watching like he did. It was comfortable to him, familiar, but it wasn’t until he’d seen her step out, seen the sadness in her eyes, that he’d realized he too felt that sadness. Standing apart was safe, but it was lonely as well.
“Very well” he said haltingly, and her face cleared.
He took her hand and let her lead him to a space on the dance floor. They passed her sister and he noticed a strange glitter in the human’s eyes. He didn’t understand it. Was she angry with her sister? Humans confused him. They were so different now than when he had lived and died. Their clothes, their customs. He found it hard to relate. Didn’t understand how his brothers could walk so effortlessly through the human world.
“I’m Eden, by the way,” the fledgling said.
He gave her a brief bow. “Rune.”
“Right.” She fell silent, then, after a moment, asked, “Look, if this is rude, then I apologize but, um, are you a Viking?”
He nodded. “I was. Now I am a Shadow.” He offered her his hand, wanting to end the conversation. It was enough that she could see he was a man from another time. He didn’t need to discuss it.
“I’m sorry,” she said, taking his hand. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I just… I think it’s cool.”
“Cool?” He frowned. “I am not cold.”
“Oh uh, no,” she said and giggled. “I didn’t mean it like that, sorry. I meant it’s interesting that you’ve lived so long. You must have seen so much. Everyone expects vampires to have lived forever, but I’m just… I mean, I’m still younger than most humans.”
He looked down at her. “You are a fledgling; we were all fledglings once. It is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“No,” she agreed, looking up at him, a spark in her eyes. “You’re right; it’s not. But neither is feeling out of place in the modern world.” She tilted her head. “Can you show me some Viking dances?”
He was surprised. She was trying to set him at ease, he realized, and he felt a rush of warm affection that surprised him. “You wish to know the old dances?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “I bet you were great at them.”
He shrugged, a little nervous. Brave a room full of rogue vampires? Not a problem. But lead a dance? That was another matter entirely. “I was not so good. I do not even know if I remember them. But I can try,” he added, seeing the hope in her eyes.
He sorted through his memories, trying to shut out the loud music, to shut out the sight of his brothers around him, their mates in their arms. That was something he would not find, he knew. He was no modern vampire to mate a modern woman. His chance at a soulmate had been lost the day the last of his warriors were sent on their burning ships to the afterlife. Warriors died warriors’ deaths: alone. That was his fate. He had made his peace with it. And yet, seeing Lucian and Neal so complete, it made so
mething within him ache with longing. He shoved it ruthlessly to the side, pulling himself to watchful attention. A soulmate was not for a warrior. He would overcome this weakness.
He closed his eyes, and slowly the steps returned to him. One move at a time, he danced with Eden, slow at first, then faster. The music falling away as the movement of their bodies took its place, dancing him back in his memories to low-roofed huts, smoke and low fire, the scent of dogs and fur, snow outside, family within. Deep in his chest, he felt his Bloodline bond resonate. Family. Not the same as when he had lived, but just as strong.
He had no need for a soulmate, he thought, as he danced in the center of his Bloodline. He had his brothers, he had his sisters, and… his eyes snapped open. This fledgling, Eden, there was something, an echo, a trace of a bond that stretched from her, away, toward… he raised his head and saw Talon standing in the doorway. His eyes dark, his grip on the doorframe white-knuckled.
Oh fuck.
Rune’s hands clenched involuntarily on Eden’s waist, and for a second, he thought he felt something under her top, a very slight raised line. Then she flinched away from him. Talon’s eyes blackened with a protective rage, and he launched himself at Rune.
Chapter 14
Talon didn’t know how long he’d stood in the doorway watching Eden dance. He’d felt the call through the bond, felt her nervous tension blossom into acceptance, into joy, and he’d followed it, drawn inexorably through the rooms toward her. He’d heard the music long before he finally reached the ballroom, but still, the sight of her dancing had taken his breath away. Seeing her gradually leave her worries behind, stepping into the music and letting it flow through her, had made something inside him ease, some part of his wildness soothed at seeing her happy. It had been a balm to his broken soul, and he’d drunk up the sight. He’d had no eyes for anyone else in the room, just Eden, her long hair loose, curling where it lay over her shoulders in a wild, glorious tangle. The deep red top she was wearing brought out the richness of her dark skin. Her skin. Fuck, he’d hungered to touch her. He’d wanted to be the one dancing there beside her, to lay his hands on her waist and spin in her orbit.
He’d taken a step forward, then halted. She wouldn’t want him, not after the scene he’d made in the gym, screaming at her to get away from him. So, he had stepped back, gripping the doorframe to stop himself from moving forward into the room. Instead, he had stood there, watching hungrily, his gaze tunneling as she had approached Rune. His desperate need for her flared out the moment he’d seen their hands touch, but he’d forced himself to stay back, reminding himself his fellow Shadow meant her no harm. Talon had refused to give in to his savage, possessive instincts. He hadn’t wanted to ruin her enjoyment or destroy the first happiness she’d found here.
He’d trembled with the force of his passion, needing to move forward, forcing himself to stay back. Torn in two by the conflict inside him until Rune’s hand had shifted on Eden’s waist. Darkness had come over her face. She had flinched back, and in that moment, the final threads holding Talon’s self-control together had stretched, frayed and snapped. Pure rage had consumed him. All he’d felt was pain at the hurt on Eden’s face. He’d launched himself forward, barely seeing the others in the room spinning to a stop around him, no longer even recognizing Rune as a fellow Shadow. All he’d seen was the target, the threat to be removed.
Talon smashed into Rune, launching them both back off the dance floor and into the wall. He was snarling, his fangs out, words beyond him. Rage blinding him.
“Stop! Talon,” Rune shouted, trying to knock his blow aside, but Talon was fueled by a rage greater than anything he’d felt before. It set fire to his wildness and spread through his body like an explosion. He bore down on Rune, swiping at his eyes with sharp-nailed fingers.
Rune jerked his head to the side, but that only exposed his neck, and Talon caught him in the side, just above his collarbone, a deep scratch, blood welling out. Talon struck, again and again, his blows wild, uncoordinated. He heard a clamor behind him, sensed faintly the presence of Neal and Lucian approaching, but he couldn’t stop. He needed to see the threat ended; his wild anger knew no control.
“Stop!” Lucian’s voice echoed through the room, resonating through the bond, the order within it so strong it made Talon’s muscles pull taut, made his bones ache. And still he couldn’t stop. His rage fueling him, he bore forward against it, straining, kicking out at Rune’s legs, catching his feet and making him fall. He tensed to leap onto him, but before he could, Neal and Lucian had him by the shoulders, forcing him away.
“Stop,” Lucian said again. “Stop, Talon,” he hissed in Talon’s ears, dragging him down to the ground. Talon writhed, raved, bucking them off, but between the two of them, they got him down finally to the ground, Neal almost sitting on him to keep him still.
Lucian gripped his head, turning Talon’s wild eyes to meet his own, and stared intently at him, reaching through the bond toward him. Talon felt a wave of fear. He could feel his leader calling for him, reaching for him. But he couldn’t find his way back to him. Like gripping smoke, his attempts to grasp the lifeline Lucian was sending failed, his grip slippery, fouled with his mad rage. He couldn’t reach him, he couldn’t escape the trap he was in, and his every try made him madder, terror rising, intermingling with the rage. He couldn’t stop the spiral of his emotions. He was lost.
Chapter 15
Eden jerked forward as a sudden tug on the inside of her ribs pulled her toward Talon. She could feel him. Feel his screaming, tearing presence inside herself. How was that possible? She stumbled another step forward, his desperate need echoing deep within her.
“Stop,” Dana said, spreading her hand in front of Eden and stepping forward between her and the other Shadows. Lucian and Neal were still restraining Talon, their muscles bunching from the effort, but Talon’s eyes were wide and unseeing, his snarls disjointed, barely even human.
It should’ve made her afraid, made her terrified, but instead, all she felt was sorrow for him, and an overwhelming desire to help. The same urge that had sent her to nursing school so many years ago, a hatred of seeing people in pain. “I need to help him.”
“You can’t,” Dana said. “You’ll only get hurt.”
“Don’t! Are you crazy?” Hope said, coming beside her and tugging her arm, but Eden shrugged her off. She needed to do this. She needed to help him. She couldn’t explain it, but the sight of Talon, wide-eyed and out of control across from her, was jarring, jagged, and painful, like bitter glass. She brushed past her sister and took another step forward. “I need to.”
Dana moved to block her again, her lips in a line, but Lucian spoke up, his voice full of tension. “Let her pass.”
“But Lucian,” Dana spun. “He’ll tear right through her.”
“No. He won’t.” Lucian raised his head and his eyes flashed as they met Dana’s. “She’s the only person here he won’t harm,” he said, his jaw tight.
An expression of shock and realization crossed over Dana’s face and she swung her gaze back to Eden.
“Oh shit,” she breathed. “You’re his soul—”
“Come now,” Lucian cut over her. Eden had no idea what Dana had been about to say, couldn’t spare a look at her wide-eyed expression. She needed to be close to Talon. She needed to be close to him now. Before it was too late.
She walked quickly past Dana and approached Lucian “Come ‘round,” he said. “Slowly.” His voice was shaking, and as Eden edged around him, she saw his grip on Talon was shaking as well, straining as he fought to keep Talon down. How strong must Talon be? Her breath came short. What rage must he be channeling? She came a step closer and gasped as Talon’s sightless gaze swung toward her. Her heart beat heavily in her chest. And she felt again that pull, that desperate yearning emanating from Talon.
“Do not be afraid,” Lucian said.
“I’m not,” Eden replied, an implacable calm coming over her. Without a second’s hesitati
on, she stretched out her hand toward Talon, resting her fingers gently on his shoulder. His muscles were bunched, his entire frame rigid like steel, but Eden felt that reaching again within her, and this time she reached back.
Ever so slightly, Talon’s muscles began to relax under her hand. His snarls falling to a low murmur.
“Good,” Lucian said quietly, and Talon’s frame jerked up suddenly and his fangs snapped, close to Lucian’s throat.
“Don’t,” Eden said. “It’s okay, Talon. Come back to us.” Barely knowing how, she reached again, searching for his presence. Again, Talon swung his sightless gaze toward her, and not knowing what else to do, Eden began humming a song, an old lullaby her mother had sung to her to help her sleep, all nonsense words and a soft lilting melody. Lucian shifted his grip, very slowly releasing one hand. Instead of leaping forward, Talon’s body relaxed, turning toward Eden. Tension released across Eden’s shoulders.
Lucian caught her eye and silently leaned back further, easing Talon to the ground. Eden sat on her heels, keeping her hold on Talon’s shoulder, tracing her hand down his arm, the hard length of his muscle under her fingers, to his warm palm. His fingers curled tightly around hers and she gripped him back as Lucian, and then Neal, slowly, carefully, pulled away. Eden barely noticed, all her focus inward, reaching toward Talon, all the while singing, urging him to come back, to find her voice. She was his lifeline. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know why, but she knew she wasn’t going to let go until she got him back.
