by Matt Dunn
“About?”
“You and me.”
Julie lets out a long-suffering sigh. “There is no you and me, Luke. On account of there being a you and your wife. Remember?”
“Yes. Well. About that.”
“What about that?”
“I’ve left her.”
Julie freezes, and so do I. “Left her?”
“Sarah.”
As if producing a rabbit from a hat, Luke reveals the gym bag he’s clutching, but by the look on her face, Julie’s putting two and two together. Instead of this being the huge declaration it might have been before her and Sarah’s earlier tête-à-tête, it’s more likely Sarah’s done what she’d threatened and thrown him out for a few days. And Luke being Luke, he’s trying to spin it in his favor.
“I guessed that was who you meant. Unless you have another wife neither she nor I know about.” Julie reaches up for the door chain, though only to check it’s securely fastened. “What for?”
Luke looks at her as if she’s just asked the stupidest question in the world. “For you, obviously,” he says.
“Right,” says Julie. It’s only one word, but I’ve come to understand it can convey a number of meanings. And Luke looks like he’s in no doubt as to the one Julie’s assigned to it.
“Just let me in, will you?”
“What for?”
Luke raises his eyes to the heavens—not because he’s implying Julie’s being obtuse, rather that it’s started to rain, and our house doesn’t have a porch, so he’s getting wet. “So we can talk.”
“What about? How you lied to me, led me on, shamelessly slept with me behind your pregnant wife’s back?”
“Well, yeah,” says Luke, though he quickly follows it up with: “But there was a reason for all of that.”
“There was. And it’s because you’re a dishonest shit.” This comes from Priya, who’s appeared at Julie’s shoulder, her arms folded resolutely.
For the first time, Luke’s confident demeanor starts to waver.
“No, it’s because I...” He hesitates, then glances down at me. “I was confused.”
Julie’s folded her arms too. “And you’re not now?”
“No!” says Luke, as if he’s just found God. “When I saw you earlier, and you were looking so amazing, I knew I didn’t want to be with her a moment longer, so...”
“Do you know how shallow that makes you sound?”
“So I decided then and there I had to leave Sarah. For you.”
“You’re saying it like it’s a good thing.”
“It is!”
“Abandoning your pregnant wife.”
“I’m not...abandoning her.”
“Seems like that to me,” says Julie. I take the opportunity to sit down, perversely interested to see how Luke is possibly going to be able to spin this in a good way.
“Okay. Maybe. But it’ll be better for all of us in the long run.”
Julie frowns at him, perhaps wondering whether “all of us” includes her.
“I mean,” continues Luke. “It’s no good for children to grow up in an unhappy household. I’ll still be their dad. And maybe...” He looks pleadingly at Julie. “They’ll have two mums...”
“Oh, per-lease!” says Priya, from behind me, though she’s watching Julie nervously. She knows the kids thing is a big deal where Julie’s concerned, that Julie’s worried she’s left it too late, so maybe a share in Sarah’s might be her ideal.
Luke seems to suspect that too, because he’s looking like he knows he’s played his trump card, and for a moment, I worry Julie might be caving. I’ve seen this before, in those films she and Priya always cry at, where all seems lost, then the “hero” makes some big, romantic gesture, a declaration of undying love, usually in the rain (and it’s raining right now), and the heroine takes him back with open arms.
Except Luke is certainly no hero, there’s nothing romantic about lying about how you’ve left your pregnant wife, and as yet—thank goodness—the love thing hasn’t even been touched upon. But fortunately, Julie finally seems to have developed an immunity to his charm.
“And have you discussed this with Sarah?” she asks, matter-of-factly.
“What?”
“This grand plan of yours.”
“Not yet. Tiny steps, and all that.”
Luke mimes a walking figure with his fingers, and Julie hesitates, then her expression hardens. “Hang on. Does Sarah even know you’ve left her?”
“She knows I’ve...” He swallows audibly. “Moved out.”
“And does she know where you’re...moving into? Do you, for that matter?”
“Well...” Luke looks up at the sky, then wipes the rain from his forehead. He really is getting very wet. “I thought I could stay here,” he says, giving Julie his best puppy-dog eyes.
“Of course you can!” says Julie—to both my and Priya’s and Luke’s evident shock, then she nods down at the doorstep. “But I don’t think you’ll be very comfortable.”
“Sweetie...”
“Don’t ‘Sweetie’ me, Luke!”
“Please. Give me another chance.”
“No!”
“Why not?”
Julie looks at him for a moment, possibly selecting which of the thousand or so reasons to give him, but then Priya comes up to stand next to her, her arms still folded across her chest like a bouncer, and comes out with one that surprises Luke and Julie almost as much as it does me.
“Because she’s met someone,” she says.
“What?”
Julie blushes so rapidly, it’s as if a switch has been flicked. “That’s right!” she says, doing her best not to sound as surprised as Luke looks. “I’ve met someone.”
Luke’s mouth flaps open, reminding me of Tessa’s goldfish on take your pet to work day. “But... How?” he says, eventually.
“I don’t just sit around waiting for you to turn up, you know?”
I look up at her, confused. That’s exactly what she’s been doing for the last eleven months. Though I can see why she wouldn’t want Luke to think that.
“But... Sarah?”
“What about her?”
“I’ve...” He swallows hard as if he needs more throat space to force the lie out. “Moved out.”
Julie smiles, though it’s more than a little condescending. “And I’ve moved on. So I suggest you do too.”
Ignoring Luke’s stunned expression, she puts a palm against his face, gently but firmly shoves him back through the gap, and pushes the door to. Then she double-locks it for good measure, picks me up, and—pausing only to high-five Priya as she passes, marches triumphantly back through to the living room.
23
I sleep like a baby that night, and in fact, every night of the following week. With Luke finally out of the picture, all I have to worry about is being up in time for my usual walk to the park with Julie’s dad, and—given that they now seem to be an “item”—a visit to Dot’s café. I’m also trying to sneak in as many extra breakfasts as possible, courtesy of Julie’s dad, in order that I don’t lose any weight so Julie won’t stop taking me to Barkrun—all part of my grand plan to get her and Tom together.
Perhaps surprisingly, the rest of the week passes without incident, despite Julie’s somewhat nervous return to the office. According to what I heard Julie tell Priya on the phone, Luke’s spent the majority of the time locked in his office on conference calls, or out on working lunches that seem to have lasted until dinnertime, which seems to have suited Julie just fine. Though by the time Friday evening comes around (and Priya does too), Julie seems less and less sure she’s done the right thing.
“What do you mean, you’re not going?”
Priya’s frowning across the kitchen table at Julie, and talking about Julie’s forthcoming work summ
er party. She’s spent the last few months organizing it, and it’s something I suspect has the potential to become another episode in the “Julie and Luke” show.
“I just don’t fancy it.”
“Won’t that look a little strange?”
“Maybe.” Julie downs the remainder of what isn’t her first glass of wine. “I can just take a personal day.”
“Sounds to me like you’re taking the day a little too personally already.”
“Besides, it’s kind of your fault.”
“My fault?”
“It’s going to be mainly couples. And I don’t have a plus-one, despite what you told Luke the other night. Which means he’s going to be expecting me to be bringing this ‘someone’ I’ve apparently met, and when I turn up with Doug instead...”
“I had to think on my feet. Plus it seemed like the only way to get rid of him.” Priya makes a guilty face. “You’re sure there’s no one you can take?”
“What for?” says Julie, desperately.
“Rather than letting Luke see he’s winning by you not going, you could turn up with someone on your arm. Just to rub Luke’s nose in it.”
Julie sighs loudly. “Who, exactly? Apart from my dad...”
“Want me to ask Sanj?”
“That’s very kind of you, but I hardly expect your husband to accompany me to my work party just so...” Julie stops talking. “You meant if he knows someone, didn’t you?”
Priya nods her head slowly, in the manner you might when talking to an idiot. “There must be someone.”
Julie gives her a look to suggest that no, actually, there mustn’t.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, Priya. I’m sure.”
The two of them sit there in silence for a moment—a rare occurrence, but the perfect opportunity for me to interject—so I run to the middle of the room where they can both see me, yowl briefly to attract their attention, then start furiously worrying at my injured ear.
“Doug!” says Julie, so I freeze midscratch as if we’re playing Statues, and Priya lets out a laugh.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He had his stitches out last week. Tom said it might be a bit...”
“Tom?”
“Doug’s V-E-T. Well, not Doug’s, specifically. From the Park Practice. He’s Dot’s son. I met him at a barbecue a couple of weeks ago, where he thought we’d been set up, and I think he was just about to ask me out, so I told him about Luke, and he decided to give me a lecture on... Anyway, long story short, when Doug got attacked by that Alsatian, Tom was the one who rescued him and treated his ear, then suggested we go to his Barkrun thing on Sunday morning, which is this exercise class in the park but for dogs. At first I thought he’d only asked me because, you know...” Julie stops talking, perhaps because Priya’s looking like she’s suddenly seen her numbers come up on the lottery. “What?” she says.
“Tom!”
“What about him?”
“He could be your plus-one!”
As I congratulate myself on my charades skills, Julie pulls a face. “Priya, please!”
“Is he single?”
“Divorced.”
“Well, there you go!”
Julie sighs exaggeratedly. “If only that was all there was to it,” she says, flatly.
“He sounds nice, though. Is he?”
“I suppose. But...”
“But what? Does Doug like him?”
“Why don’t you ask him?” says Julie, sarcastically, but Priya takes her at her word.
“Doug? Thoughts on Tom?”
I look up at Priya and wag my tail frantically. I do like him. Once you get past what he does for a living.
“See? And Doug detested Luke.”
Julie gives Priya a look, but evidently decides not to respond to her last point.
“So.” Priya picks her phone up. “Tom, Park Veterinary Practice,” she says, dictating theatrically as she types the words, then she widens her eyes at the screen. “Not bad at all!” she adds, showing Julie the photo of Tom, dressed in his scrubs, that’s just appeared on her screen. “And the reason you don’t like him is?”
“I do like him. Not like like, but ‘like’ like. And I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.”
“Which would be?”
“You know.” Julie picks up her glass and raises it to her mouth, only to discover she’s already finished it. “That I’m interested.”
“And the reason you wouldn’t be interested in a single, successful, good-looking ve—sorry, V-E-T—who it sounds to me is interested in you, is?”
“I’m just not ready, P.”
“You need to make yourself ready, Jules. When are you seeing him next?”
“I’m not seeing him in that sense,” says Julie, crossly. “Doug’s got his next exercise class on Sunday morning, but that’s as far as it...”
“There you go. You can ask him then.”
“Priya...”
“Jules...” says Priya, in a pretty good imitation of Julie’s voice, then she grins. “Go on. What have you got to lose?”
“Apart from my dignity?”
“Which you definitely won’t lose if you turn up on your own to your work do and Luke sees you sans beau...”
“Yes, well, that wouldn’t be a problem if you hadn’t told Luke I was...”
“Avec?”
I’m not sure why Priya’s switched to French, but it seems to do the trick, as Julie seems to be considering her suggestion.
“Okay,” she says, eventually. “But how would I...”
“Here’s a thought.” Priya leans across the table and raps her knuckles lightly on Julie’s forehead. “Just. Ask. Him.”
“I’m not sure...”
“Your problem is, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have a normal relationship.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Calm down. I just mean that you and Luke... Well, it wasn’t a relationship in the traditional sense, was it? All that sneaking around, never being seen out in public together, and if you were, you couldn’t be holding hands or anything. You always waiting for him to call, because you couldn’t phone him in case his wife was around.”
“And your point is?”
“Relationships should be fun. What you had... And I’m only saying this because I’m your friend, and because no one else will, and because you need to hear it.”
“Just get on with it!”
“You and Luke. All it was, was a series of booty calls.”
“That’s not...”
“Fair?”
“No! Or true.”
“Yes it is. You’d be sitting around, waiting for him to ring and say he was on his way, then he’d turn up, and...” Priya does some sort of mime that I assume is supposed to be a representation of inter-human “relations.” “Tell me what that was if it wasn’t what I said.”
“Okay, okay. But that’s because...”
“He was a cheating scumbag who was using you for sex?”
As Julie winces, I try not to yelp the dog equivalent of “Yes!” because Priya’s summed it up a lot more eloquently and succinctly than I ever could.
“But I loved him, P!”
“Interesting.”
“What is?”
“You said ‘loved.’ Past tense.”
“Right. So?”
“Which means you don’t any longer.”
“Well...” Julie sits upright, then her face goes through a range of expressions, finally settling on one that suggests Priya’s just pointed out something that she didn’t know.
“So why can’t I get over him?”
“Because you won’t.”
“Huh?”
“You can choose who you fall in love with,
you know?”
“You couldn’t!”
“Ha ha.” Priya leans across the table and pokes Julie affectionately in the chest. “And actually, I could. Me and Sanj were an introduction. That’s all. No one put a gun to our head and said, ‘you’re getting married.’ What I meant by that is, you don’t have a lot of control over it. Or what you do when you’re in it. But when you’re not...” She sighs. “Despite what he said the other night, Luke chose his pregnant wife over you. Possibly because he realized he couldn’t have his cake and eat it anymore, or—probably—because he was scared he’d get found out, but either way, he made what to most impartial observers seems like the logical, rational decision. And the only person who can’t see that’s the case is you. Because you’re in it. So you see it as a reflection on you. That you’re worthless. That no one else could possibly fancy you, because you couldn’t keep Luke...”
“Thanks very much!”
“But that’s so not the case.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because he was never going to leave her.” Priya smiles sympathetically. “I’m a dentist, Jules. People come to me suffering, and the trouble with toothache is, it’s never going to get better on its own. You get an abscess, you need antibiotics. Your filling’s causing you problems, you need it replaced. Your tooth is bad? You need it taken out.”
Julie mimes a yawn. “As fascinating as this dentistry lesson is, is there a point to any of...?”
Priya leans over and pokes her again, harder this time. “This feeling you have after Luke? It might get better over time, but then again, it might not. And the only way to ensure it does is to...”
“Take something?”
“Or someone.” Priya smiles. “So take Tom. To your event. See how you feel. Have some fun. Rub Luke’s nose in it. It may come to nothing, but...”
Julie sighs, loudly this time. “Okay, okay,” she says. “I’ll think about it.” Which is progress, I suppose.
As long as that isn’t all she does.
24
A funny thing happens today. It’s Saturday, late morning, and we’re coming back from the shops when Julie decides to phone her dad to see if he’s free for lunch.
