by C L Walker
She walked into the classroom and I heard and felt nothing, she must have been trying extra hard to keep her feelings at bay. She sat down and dug a notebook out of her backpack to prepare for the movie we were about to watch.
I cleared my throat and her head started to turn in my direction, but she stopped herself.
Damn, you’re good today, babe.
Mr. Burks turned on the movie and I leaned my head in my palm and watched the video without taking notes as she scribbled away next to me, her pen aggressively filling the page as if she tasked herself with taking as many notes as possible just to stay occupied.
Forty-five minutes later Mr. Burks turned the lights on and shut off the tv and told us to use the next five minutes however we liked to.
I glanced at Sky after fighting the urge to for the entire movie to find her sleeping with her head on the desk. Her eye lashes fanned her cheeks prettily, and her skin looked nearly flawless as it stretched over high cheek bones and a pert nose. She was perfection even with her flaws.
As I watched her, my fascination only grew as I realized that I was seeing her at peace for the first time and it was such a thing to see that I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to see that relaxed look on her face every day, and in my heart, I knew that I could make it happen. I could ease her pain and I could take her away from everything that sought to destroy the light in her.
I looked at her lips, they were thick and pink, and I was struck by a need to taste them just as I had been every other time that I had made the mistake of looking at them.
She sighed softly; it was breathy in a sensual way that made me damn near lose my mind.
This girl…
Why is she doing this to me?
I knew if I touched her, I was going to be a goner, so I had to avoid giving into my lust at all costs. But I was running out of ideas because even when she made me angry, I wanted her, more so even, because settling the score with her in bed would be glorious.
“What are you staring at?” she asked after her eyes snapped open, and she ran her fingers across her mouth self-consciously.
Oh, no! Was I drooling?!
I continued to watch her without giving an excuse for staring, because I was still trying to fight some part of me that wanted to reach for her and pull her to me. That was a more pressing issue than answering her question for obvious reasons.
“Weirdo.” She looked away as a blush warmed her cheeks.
Why would he watch me sleep?
Because you’re lovely.
She looked around the room and seemed to be relieved that no one else had noticed that she had fallen asleep. It seemed I was the only one who was struck by her peaceful form, which I found odd because they had to know how anxious she usually was, didn’t they?
Unfortunately, they look but rarely see.
No one saw her the way I did, and I was convinced they never would.
“Dreaming of me again, Sky?”
Her eyes snapped to mine as she slowly sat up straight. “Again?”
Shit, there is absolutely no way he could know that. Be calm!
I didn’t mean to say ‘again,’ I was constantly giving myself away in small ways and it was beyond frustrating. I had never had the same problem before, but everything was different with her because she was my blood mate. Lying to her was more difficult than I would have imagined, as I was naturally inclined to be open with her.
Blood mate… I didn’t like saying it or even thinking about it because every time I did it reminded me that finding her was nothing short of a miracle. A miracle that my dumbass was trying not to accept.
“Micah,” she said when I didn’t answer her.
“What?”
“You said ‘again?’”
I sighed as I grabbed my backpack in anticipation of the bell ringing. “Shouldn’t you be denying that you ever dream about me in the first place rather than questioning my word choice?”
The bell rang and I stood up quickly.
“Of course, I don’t dream about you, I’m just wondering why you said that as if I do rather than as a joke?”
All we did was lie to each other constantly and hide the intense feelings that were growing between us and it was getting ridiculous.
“I don’t believe you.” It wasn’t something I should have said to her because it was the start of a conversation that was dangerous to have. It was better that she had lied about it and it would have been better if I accepted the lie. But more and more I found myself acting on impulse rather than according to my carefully calculated plans to stay single.
My impulse was to have the conversations that could lead to us coming together, the kind that would leave her with questions I knew eventually she would find the answers to.
Why? I don’t want this...Right? But I do want her…
She grabbed onto the arm of my hoodie and tugged on it to get my attention.
There they were… the million questions burning in her eyes that I couldn’t possibly answer without putting the final nail in my coffin. My hypothetical coffin of course, considering I was alive and that the sun obviously didn’t harm me I had no need of such things.
“Why the hell would I dream about a jerk like you?”
Because he’s sexy, and you damn well know it.
When she had thoughts like that the lustful part of me wanted to call her out on them and let her know that I wanted her too. But like I said, I couldn’t touch her because there would be no coming back from that.
I took a deep breath and willed my own emotions away again and ignored hers.
“I don’t know why you do anything that you do, and I won’t pretend to know otherwise,” I said.
At least she forgot that I had said ‘again,’ I guess that was one problem averted.
“Well.” She began to back away. “I’m not an idiot, so trust me when I say I wouldn’t waste my time dreaming about you or wanting a man like you at all.”
“Of course, you wouldn’t, Sky.” She faltered a touch alerting me to the fact that her new nickname was one she approved of more than she wanted to. “You are above and beyond me, babe, and I will never make the mistake of thinking otherwise.”
How do words have the power to cripple me when spoken from his arrogant mouth?!
She nodded her head coolly as if she wasn’t standing there losing her shit because I had called her babe.
When she left me, I watched her walk away, which I enjoyed doing because it was the only time, I could appreciate her body without getting caught.
I could look, I just couldn’t touch.
Thirteen
Skylar
I had never been afraid of the dark for as long as I could remember because I knew where monsters lived. I had never feared what might have been in my closet, or under my bed because my mother had always been down the hallway from me, and she was the only thing I feared.
But there was something about that night that didn’t feel right as I crossed the street to begin the half a mile walk to the trailer park after work.
My gut was uneasy, but there was nothing I could do about it because my mom wouldn’t come pick me up, as she hadn’t offered me a ride anywhere in years.
I got chills and felt the gooseflesh rise on my skin and it wasn’t even that cold.
I looked behind me expecting to find someone following me but there was no one there.
The wind picked up and blew a piece of trash across the pavement but otherwise everything was quiet and there was no sign of life anywhere, so I turned back around and continued to walk.
I looked both ways before crossing the street and once I was on the other side, I picked up my pace.
When I heard a vehicle approaching, I tensed until it passed, and when a dog started barking, I nearly jumped out of my skin from the sudden sound.
I passed the road that led up the mountain and thought of Micah and the time we had spent together at his house. He had of course irritated me a few times but oddly en
ough working on something together felt nice.
I felt like our relationship had changed, even though there was constant chaos there was also a comfort between us that I couldn’t deny.
Speaking of comfort…
I wished he would drive down the road and demand to take me home, I’d feel at ease the moment I planted my butt in his car beside him. It would be especially wonderful if he also managed to do so without talking.
But nobody came, and the night remained eerie and still as I continued down the road and passed the lake.
I focused on the sound of the crickets, but it did little to calm my nerves.
I walked through another four way stop and as I did so, I reminded myself again to stop being so paranoid.
Which lasted for five seconds because I heard another vehicle approaching and unfortunately, I could tell by the sound that it was not Micah’s, as it didn’t roar like a muscle car. Rather it clanked and stuttered like an old pickup truck, which was a common vehicle in our town.
I waited for the vehicle to pass but when it didn’t, I turned around to see Jack’s truck pulling off the road.
No. Not tonight, not right now.
“Hey, Skylar. Hop in and I’ll drive you home,” he said from about twenty feet away.
“No, thanks.”
“Come on it’s dangerous out here this late at night.”
The way he said dangerous as if it were funny had me on high alert. He knew he was the only danger to my person in that moment, and if he thought I was dumb enough to forget that he had another thing coming.
“I’m fine.” I started to walk even faster when he began to walk towards me.
I hoped that he would take a hint but when I looked behind me, he hadn’t stopped and he was gaining on me quickly, so I started to run.
I knew he was mad at me because of what happened in the kitchen the other night, but I had hoped that he would let it go. He hadn’t said anything since but considering the sound of his feet pounding the pavement behind me, he intended to settle the score.
He had been waiting for an opportunity and unfortunately, he had found the perfect one.
I ran as fast as I could towards the fence that surrounded Sai’s neighborhood, if I could make it over it his house would be right there. He’d walk me home and Jack wasn’t likely to bother me as long as my mother was conscious.
Everything would be fine.
But I never reached it.
He caught up to me, grabbed my arm and yanked so hard I lost my balance and crashed onto the pavement.
My palms took most of the damage and it killed me to do so, but I used them to try and lift myself up off the ground and away from him, but he pulled my leg and prevented me from doing so.
I screamed as he dragged me across the pavement and down into the ditch as I clawed at the ground.
Once there he straddled my body and covered my mouth with one hand as the other pulled a roll of duct tape out of his back pocket.
He put it over my mouth before he slapped me across the face and said, “You should have just got in the truck.” Heavy breaths escaped his lips that were shiny from saliva and I choked on the rancid smell of tequila, sweat, and dirt.
He mumbled to himself, but I couldn’t make out his words, I couldn’t process anything because my mind was focused on trying to remain calm.
Panic in and of itself was scary because if I couldn’t think straight there would be no getting myself out of a situation that was growing more terrifying by the moment.
Don’t lose control, don’t you dare give up!
He was drunk so I hoped that would work to my advantage if someone didn’t drive by first. But if they did, I would be saved because there was no way someone wouldn’t stop after seeing me with duct tape over my mouth as I was being dragged around by a belligerent man.
My hopes were answered when I heard a car approaching, I started to struggle against him again and I yelled even though the sound was muffled by the tape.
But he heard it too so he lied across my body and pinned me firmly to the earth as the car passed on the other side of the road, so there was no way they could have seen us down in the ditch.
He stared down at me and his eyes told me all I needed to know, he had come to make good on his threat, he was there to take what he wrongly thought was his.
No, no, no.
This isn’t good.
What do I do?
A minute later, after all was quiet once more, I started to cry when a knife poked my stomach.
He checked up and down the road before he said, “Get the fuck up.”
I didn’t want to listen, but I also didn’t want him to plunge his rusty switch blade into my gut.
I tried to stand up, but I slipped in the muddy ditch water and brought him down with me and he dropped the knife. I used the opportunity to kick him in the stomach and when he grunted loudly and clutched his gut I scrambled to my feet.
“Fuckin’ bitch.” He grabbed my pants and tugged hard enough to make me lose my balance again.
Had we not been in a ditch I would have gotten away.
He held onto me as he pulled himself up, then he yanked me up and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He kept the knife at my side as he ushered us into the woods where we wouldn’t be seen.
We walked through the trees just out of sight of the road and made our way back towards his truck.
When we reached the four way stop where he had parked on the side of the road, he checked to see if it was clear before he pushed me quickly inside.
“Drive.” He gestured towards the road with his hand that held the blade. “If you don’t go where I say, this knife is goin’ straight into the fleshiest part of your thigh, you hear me, girl?”
I sniffled and nodded my head as I took the keys, and when I went to stick them in the ignition, I dropped them because I was shaking badly, and my fingers were freezing.
“We don’t have time for this,” he said as I bent to grab them off the floor and I couldn’t find them. “They are right fuckin’ there you dumb cunt.”
After I found them, I reluctantly turned the key and waited for direction.
“The lake.”
I could barely think about what I was doing, and it took all my concentration to drive down to the docks like he had ordered me to.
The area was shielded by many trees and the nearest house on the lake was all the way around the corner from the public beach, so there was little chance anyone was going to see us.
I put the truck in park and waited as he rummaged through his glove compartment.
I should have driven into the lake or off the side of the road, at least then I would have had a chance to get away from him even if there was a chance that I could also hurt myself…or drown.
“Get out and hop up in the back.” He waved the knife in the air to remind me of what would happen if I didn’t listen as a sinister smile spread across his face.
Tears poured from my eyes, as it was clear that he was going to rape me.
I was so angry at myself for not taking his advances more seriously. If only I had listened to Micah. If only he knew about Jack because he would have told someone, and he would have demanded that I protect myself.
I should have told him the truth!
Micah…
When I didn’t move, Jack’s eyes rounded, and his mouth fell into a hard line before he grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him.
He pulled me out and threw me down and I landed on my side in the gravel as he slammed the door shut and took one last look around.
If I were lucky someone would come down, it wasn’t unheard of for kids to sneak to the beach at night and fool around.
Don’t fail me.
He grabbed me by the arm again, opened the door to the bed of the truck and shoved me in before he crawled in himself and shut the door. There was no cover, but the bed was deep enough that no one would see us if we stayed low enough, and that was exactly what he was going
for.
He had me pinned down, but I never stopped fighting back, and he was having trouble doing what he wanted because of it. But he came prepared.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a zip tie and when I saw it, I started hyperventilating because I understood then that he had truly won, there was going to be no getting away for me.
Save me please, save me…someone please…
I tried to knee him before he flipped me onto my stomach, but he caught it in time and although it was clearly tiring for him, he managed to turn me over.
He straddled the back of my thighs as his hands worked to get the tie around my hands and I used the angle to my advantage and pelted his back over and over with my heels, but it didn’t deter him as he still managed to get my wrists bound.
He turned me around again and settled in between my legs and I cried out with no sound when my hands got crushed underneath the weight of both of our bodies.
He began to rub his crotch into mine as beads of sweat fell from his face and landed on mine.
I flinched as the moisture hit my cheek and closed my eyes.
Please save me!
I couldn’t move.
I could barely breathe.
The only thing I could do was accept my fate.
My tears still fell as I felt the last of my hope bleed out from skin that felt too tight.
This is it.
“That’s right, cry for daddy,” he murmured into my neck, and I started to squirm again. “If you don’t quit movin’ this is going to get messy.” I held completely still and listened. “I mean it, if you don’t fuckin’ hold still, I’m going to hold that blade up to your neck while I ride your sweet pussy and I can get wild. It would be your own fault if you happened to get nicked.”
My mind went blank, I couldn’t even question any longer why that was happening to me because it seemed like the perfect ending. I had never had a chance; I was never destined for the good life.
When his hand dipped under my shirt and his dirty nails scraped against my flesh, I closed my eyes again and hoped that it would be over quickly.
