Somehow, that was worse. The pacing meant he didn’t know what to say or how to react. He was just building up energy and stress, and eventually it would come bursting out of him. Darren was usually such a shy, quiet guy. Even when he was being boisterous for him, it was still very subdued. But the reaction on his face right now wasn’t even close to what I was accustomed to seeing when he looked at me. At that moment he looked downright murderous.
It was my fault. There was no other way to put it, no reason to even begin to come up with excuses or find some other explanation for why he looked that way. That didn’t help. It only underscored and validated the guilt I felt every time I thought about not telling him the truth as soon as I got into town. Of course, seeing him so suddenly and so unexpectedly at the bar on his birthday wasn’t part of the plan. I wasn’t supposed to just suddenly run into him that way. My plan had been to settle down in the town and find my bearings in my new life, then purposely and thoughtfully track him down so I could explain the situation in a straightforward, adult way. Everything I’d ever planned had the purpose and goal of keeping any kind of tricky or complicated emotions out of the conversation.
Not that I ever was under the delusion it would be a completely emotionless conversation. There was no way I’d be able to tell a man he was a father without there being an emotional reaction. But I hoped telling him immediately would take advantage of the cooled-down tensions between us created by being separated for three years.
That wasn’t the way it worked out. I tried to lay the groundwork for still following through with my plan when I saw him at the bar. Giving him my phone number should have been the way we could reconnect, meet in a controlled and neutral environment, and have the conversation that was long overdue between us. Now that opportunity was far behind me, and I was dealing with the uncomfortable and unfortunate aftermath of it. There was no longer any chance of there not being an emotional response or a complicated situation.
I wished so much I could turn back the hands of time and do what I should have done from the beginning. Even as I thought that, my mind went to the coffee cup of flowers sitting on the counter in my kitchen, and I felt a twinge that told me I really didn’t want to let go of those special moments with him. Finally, Darren stopped pacing. He stepped up right in front of me and stared directly into my eyes, the same way I had done to him when he was sitting on the couch. He was turning the tables on me, putting me in the hot water.
“Can I see her?” he finally asked.
That wasn’t what I was expecting to come out of his mouth, and I was pleasantly surprised. At least, as pleasantly as I could hope to be in that situation. I nodded and glanced over at Kira.
“I’ll just stay here,” she said, settling back into the seat. As soon as her back hit the chair, she sat forward again and stood up. “Actually, I think I’ll go in the kitchen and make some tea.”
When she was out of the room, I gestured for Darren to follow me. I led him toward the back of the apartment and stopped in front of Willa’s bedroom. Putting one hand on the knob, I held a finger to my lips to show he should be quiet. Carefully opening the door with the smooth, silent maneuver I mastered over the last two years, I poked my head into the room to peer at the baby and make sure she was still asleep.
Willa was just as quiet and peaceful as she had been before he got there, and I opened the door the rest of the way to let him look in. Darren took a couple of steps into the room and peered down at Willa, the emotion on his face unreadable. After a few minutes, we backed out of the room and I closed the door behind us. I waited until we got back into the living room to say anything. I turned to him, my arms wrapped tightly around myself.
“Well?” I asked.
I had to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. The only question left was what Darren wanted to do, and I needed the answer. The curiosity and anxiety swelled in my chest, aching against my ribs like it was going to make them explode. But he didn’t give me the answer I wanted. He didn’t give me any answer at all. Darren just shook his head and left without saying another word. I didn’t fully believe he had just walked out and wasn’t going to come back until I heard his motorcycle tear out of the driveway and the sound disappeared into the distance.
25
Darren
I didn’t even fully process that I left Kelly’s house and got back on my motorcycle and until I was several blocks away and the wind was stinging at my face. I hadn’t even bothered to pull down my face shield. That was something I never did. I was never the type of person to be reckless or not follow safety precautions I knew like the back of my hand. Those rules were put in place for a reason, and that was only underscored by Greg’s accident. My father started training us on bikes as soon as we were old enough to handle them, but the one thing he always ground into our minds was that safety was never to be compromised. He wouldn’t even let us out onto the track until we memorized every precaution and followed through with them without fail each time he asked us to get on a bike.
But that night, I had barely even thought about putting my helmet on much less done anything else. I was pretty sure Dad would give me a pass this one time. I would venture to say discovering I had a child I was never aware of would count as extenuating circumstances.
When I realized my reaction to her had been to say nothing and just storm out of her house, part of me said I needed to go back. I at least owed it to her or to talk it through, to respond to her in some way. But a much larger part of me said no, I didn’t owe her anything. She lost the right to demand anything of me at the minute she kept my child from me. Now it was about me, and I needed to do what was right for me. And in that moment, it was getting to my parents’ house as fast as I possibly could.
The truth was, I wanted to not believe what Kelly told me. I really wanted to just believe it was a trick, some sort of elaborate and really messed-up version of manipulation because she wanted to get her hands on some money. It wasn’t a secret she could use a boost of income. Whether she realized it or not, she frequently mentioned in conversations getting used to the expenses of living in Charlotte and sometimes struggling with her budget. Not that she was destitute or anything, but few people would turn their noses up at extra money, even if they were comfortable. And some would eagerly and purposely go after more if they thought they had a way to get it that wouldn’t require them to do much.
Like convince a wealthy man she had given birth to his daughter after a one-night stand and now needed child support. Or to be paid off so she didn’t cause trouble for him in his public life. She’d acted like she didn’t know I raced bikes or was related to the Freemans of Freeman Racing when she first started working there, and I believed her. But what if it was just a ruse? It didn’t take much digging through the world of the internet to find out about me and what I did. She could have easily stumbled on the information and come up with the plan to trick me into believing we had a child so she could exploit me. Most public figures were eager not to let things like unclaimed children or the mothers of their children struggling to make a living leak out into their fan base.
It would have been a good plan if she’d tried it on someone who wasn’t going to be thorough, but that wasn’t me. Besides, a trick didn’t explain why she’d waited so long to tell me or why she was so open about offering a DNA test. She could think I was too nice a guy to question her or to say I didn’t believe her and demand the test. In all honesty, that was the type of guy I was. Or at least, the type of guy I would have thought I was before the situation was dropped at my feet. It was an unfortunate truth that if someone presented this type of thing as a hypothetical situation and asked if they should get a paternity test, my first thought would have been no.
That would be offensive. It would be hurtful. What kind of man were you to call a woman a liar at best and question how many men she was sleeping with at the same time?
As much as I never would have wanted to think this way, I really wanted to believe s
he was lying. It would be easier to think that she was deceptive and manipulative in that way than it would be to think she was the kind of woman who would keep me from my child.
Even as I thought about all this, though, pieces of the puzzle were falling into place. One of the biggest was Kelly’s mysterious phone calls before lunch every day. Now I knew what she was doing. There wasn’t some guy she was getting in touch with during the day. She was calling home to check on her daughter. My daughter. Our daughter. Fuck. That was seriously going to take some getting used to.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something. I wanted to go back to Kelly’s house and scoop up that baby and take home the little girl denied to me for over two years. But before I did anything, I had to be sure. Pulling into the driveway too fast and at too extreme an angle scared the dogs lounging around the yard. They scattered and it took everything in me not to just let the bike drop to the ground so I could get inside as fast as possible. I drew in a breath, reminded myself I couldn’t just throw everything to hell just because my life felt like it was falling apart around me, and that I needed to keep in mind everything else that existed in my world beyond what was exploding right now.
Stopping my bike more carefully than the emotions inside me wanted me to, I climbed off and headed for the door as I yanked off my helmet. Dad was coming out of the den to the side of the front hallway when I burst into the house.
“Darren, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Where’s Mom?”
I didn’t wait to hear his answer but went deeper into the house to the room I expected her to be in and where I eventually found her.
“Hi, honey,” she said, glancing at me from a pot bubbling on the stove. The look on my face seemed to settle in when she looked back, and she turned to look at me again. “Darren, are you okay?”
“Do you know where my baby pictures are?” I asked.
“Baby pictures?” she asked.
“Yes. I need to see pictures of me when I was about two. Do you know where those are?”
“Of course I know where they are. But why do you suddenly need to see baby pictures of yourself?”
She sounded confused, but she wiped off her hands on a dish towel and led me out of the kitchen and to her sitting room. She knelt down in front of a hope chest in front of the window and opened it.
“Do you have my medical records anywhere?” I asked.
Mom reached into the chest and grabbed out a file but turned to look at me over her shoulder again.
“What is going on, Darren? Why are you suddenly so interested in seeing pictures of yourself or getting your medical records of all things?”
“Because, apparently, I have a child.”
The lid of the chest fell out of her hand and slammed closed. Mom stood up looking shaken and turned to me.
“You what?” she asked.
Dad rushed into the room.
“What was that? Is everything okay?” he asked.
“What did you just tell me?” Mom asked.
“I have a child,” I repeated. “With Kelly.”
“Kelly the mechanic?” Mom asked incredulously.
“Yes,” I said.
“What the fuck?” Dad blurted out, then covered his mouth, looking remorseful. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Dad,” I reassured him, shaking my head. “I’m pretty sure if there was ever a what-the-fuck moment, this would be it. You’re good.”
“I don’t think I understand what’s going on,” Mom told me. “She’s only worked at the complex for a few weeks.”
“She and I actually met three years ago. I know she told Dad and Quentin that during her first interview. You didn’t mention it to Mom?”
“I didn’t think I needed to. It didn’t seem to be an issue. You both said you had encountered each other before, but it wasn’t a big deal,” Dad said.
“Well obviously it was more than just an encounter,” I said.
“Obviously,” Mom snapped. “You’re telling me this child is, what, over two years old?”
“Yes. Kelly and I met at the bar on my birthday three years ago. She left the next morning. I had no idea she was coming back here, and she didn’t know I had anything to do with the company when she applied for the job. I had no idea about anything until tonight. She asked me to come over to her house to talk. That’s when she told me she has a daughter and that daughter is mine.”
“Has anything else been going on between the two of you?” Dad asked.
“Nothing like that. I told her just a few days ago I am interested in possibly dating her. At least, I was. I think that’s what inspired her to finally tell me,” I told them.
“And you’re sure she’s telling the truth? You know the baby is yours?” Mom asked.
“That’s why I want to see the pictures and get my medical records. I don’t want to be that guy, but it’s really hard not to be. She brought me in to see her. Her name is Willa. She has my hair, but I didn’t get to see her eyes or anything because she was sleeping. I know babies aren’t carbon copies of their parents, but I would really like to compare the pictures of me to her.”
“Why did you want your records?”
“To compare blood types with her. Kelly had Willa’s records, but I didn’t look at them,” I explained.
“No,” Dad said, shaking his head. “You’re not just going to compare your blood type. That’s not conclusive. You’re going to have a real DNA test.”
I took the pictures and records that Mom held out to me and glanced down at them. I didn’t see much of Willa when she was sleeping, but there was enough for me to see a resemblance in our profiles. Thanking my parents, I started back out of the house.
“Darren, do you want me to call the lawyer?” she asked. “I can let him know what’s going on and see if he has any suggestions for what you should do next.”
I thought about this for only a second before shaking my head.
“Not yet. Let me get my brain straight, and then I’m going to try to figure it out with Kelly. I need to be sure of everything before I decide what to do.”
26
Kelly
When Darren sped off on his motorcycle right after I told him about Willa, I honestly didn’t know when I was going to see him again. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he didn’t show up for work at the complex or even made sure I didn’t go back so we didn’t run into each other again. I definitely didn’t expect to see him again that night. Which was why I was completely stunned when I heard the telltale sound of a motorcycle coming toward my place a couple of hours later.
Willa had woken up from a late-afternoon nap and was sitting in her highchair as I fed her dinner. Kira had called our parents and had her phone propped up on the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table so we could talk to them through speaker. As soon as she heard her grandparents’ voices, Willa lit up. She missed them so much. More than I even expected her to. They were very close and had been since she was born, but she was so little I hoped she would just go with the flow. When we were getting ready for the move and I was doing everything I could to prepare her for the change, the pediatrician gave me that old trusty line: “Small children are resilient.” She reassured me Willa would be just fine as long as she was with me and that she would take all her cues from my emotions and the way I reacted to the change.
Being able to talk to them and stay in touch always made me happy, and it was taking the edge off the terrible confrontation when I heard the sound of Darren’s bike. It made my heart clench and my stomach drop. Why was he back here?
Snatching the phone up from the table, I took it off speakerphone, and Kira headed for the door to answer it. I wanted to give Willa a chance to say good night, but I didn’t want my parents hearing what was going on with Darren. Whatever he was here to say, I couldn’t imagine it was going to be super friendly. My parents had been supportive of me from the instant I told them I was pregnant. There was never any judgment, never any sense they w
ere disappointed in me. And when I told them I was relocating here so I could tell Darren about Willa and let them get to know each other, they were nothing but encouraging. Though they didn’t say it, and I knew they never would, I knew they were nervous for me. They didn’t want me to get hurt and were worried about the way Darren would respond. I really didn’t want them to hear his freak-out. The only thing that could do was either make them feel terrible for not being there to comfort me, or inspire them to get on a plane down to defend me, and that wasn’t something I wanted right now. Everything was already confusing and complicated enough. I didn’t need to add them into the mix.
I ended the call with my parents and got Willa out of her highchair. Darren stopped short when I walked out of the kitchen carrying her. We met eyes and stared at each other for a few seconds before I turned and headed into the living room. I wasn’t going to force anything on him. He needed to come to us when he was ready. It only took a few seconds for him to fall into step behind me and meet me in the middle of the living room. I propped Willa on my hip and waited for some sort of reaction. My little girl had always been a happy, friendly child and didn’t hesitate to wave at him.
I didn’t know what to do with the expression that crossed Darren’s face when he saw that little wave. It wasn’t a smile. It wasn’t a grimace. It was something I didn’t recognize, something I’d never seen his face do before. I brought Willa over to the couch and sat down. He dropped down into one of the chairs and flattened a file folder on the coffee table in front of him before shoving it toward me.
“My information from when I was a baby. Pictures included. You’re welcome to look at them. She has my hair, the color and the curls,” he said.
Millionaire Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance (Freeman Brothers Book 2) Page 14
