No matter. She had made her position clear. She didn’t want a fling and she wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship. That didn’t leave a guy much room to work with.
Too bad for him.
After a few more minutes, he decided he was presentable enough to go inside.
He walked into his mother’s kitchen to find Jess at the island eating a sandwich and his mother telling her about a cruise she and Jack had taken to the Norwegian fjords soon after his father was diagnosed.
Jess met his gaze, her color high, but quickly looked away. In that instant, Nate knew he couldn’t sit there pretending he was anything but hungry for the delectable Jess Clayton. Especially not while his mother looked on.
He poured water from the filtered pitcher in the refrigerator and took a long swallow then gave his mom a look of apology.
“I need to head back to the job site. Will you forgive me if I grab one of your delicious sandwiches and eat it on the go?”
“Absolutely.” Eleanor gave him a fond look. “Thank you so much for taking the time when you’re so busy to help out.”
“Glad to do it,” he said, still avoiding Jess’s gaze.
He didn’t mind helping out but he should have resisted temptation and done without the kiss. The taste of Jess would linger on his mouth all afternoon.
Hell, maybe for the rest of his life.
“Thank you for the sandwich. I meant to ask, do you mind if I send Sophie over after school to hang out here?”
“Not at all. Not at all. We would love to have her, right, Jess?”
“Sure. We can always put her to work somewhere,” she said with a slightly diabolical smile that somehow still made him want to kiss her senseless.
Yeah. He needed to get out of there before he did something stupid in front of his mother.
“Maybe she would like to go to Redding with you to help you drop things off at the shelter,” Eleanor suggested. “Would that be okay with you, Nathaniel?”
It took him a minute to pick up the loose thread of the conversation and remember what she was talking about. “Sure. That’s fine with me, if Sophie is up for it.”
“We’ll ask her and if she decides to go, I’ll let you know,” Eleanor said. “Let me wrap up your sandwich.”
He couldn’t spend another minute here. “No need. I’ll take it on a paper plate. Thanks, Mom.”
He kissed Eleanor’s cheek, noting again that she had lost entirely too much weight since his father died.
Not trusting himself for even a casual cheek brush with Jess, he simply waved to her, picked up his plate and hurried out of the house.
20
Rachel
“I don’t know what I was expecting from an all-day clinic, but that wasn’t as bad as I feared it would be.”
Rachel stared at her husband as he drove with his usual efficiency through Sacramento traffic.
Seriously? Had she and Cody been in the same exam rooms with specialist after specialist coming through to poke and prod and interrogate their child?
Silas had borne it much better than she had. All in all, he had been a trouper. He’d had only one meltdown, and they had managed to contain it after only about ten minutes.
He was sleeping now, looking so cherubic and adorable in his car seat, it was hard to imagine he could be so difficult sometimes. “I’m so glad we don’t have to bring him back for a year.”
“I really didn’t mind it. They sure loaded us up with information. I feel like we’ve been hit with a fire hose of knowledge all at once.”
“Everything you wanted to know about autism but were afraid to ask.”
He smiled a little and reached for her hand. “You were terrific all day. So smart and organized. I could tell all the professionals were impressed at the therapies you’re doing at home with him.”
Rachel didn’t feel like it would ever be enough. For every tiny bit of progress they made toward communication and socialization, she felt as if Silas took three or four steps back.
Still, she was grateful Cody would say so. “Thanks,” she said.
“I know it was rough on you, but you were a champ. Next year, maybe I could get up to speed better and take him to the clinic myself, if you really hated it.”
She couldn’t say she hated it. The experts obviously knew what they were doing. She was excited about trying some of the behavior modification techniques they had suggested.
The day had been long and arduous, though. She still wasn’t sure how they made it through as well as they did.
Yes. She did. It would have been impossible to keep Silas patient and relatively happy all day without Cody’s help. He had been wonderful with their son, patient, loving, calm. All the areas where she felt she failed.
So why was it so hard for her to tell him so?
She had to try. They were in this together. That truth had been reinforced throughout the day. Raising a child with autism or other challenges was so much easier when parents could work as a team.
She gathered the words and finally blurted them out. “Thank you for taking time off work to be here. I know it wasn’t easy for you and I just want you to know I’m grateful.”
A look of surprise flashed across his strong features briefly, then he reached over and took her hand. The physical contact, so badly needed, made her shiver. “You don’t have to carry everything by yourself. I wish I could convince you of that.”
She knew he was right. Somehow it was a lesson she seemed to need over and over again.
She had spent her childhood in a terrible situation, with a cruel father and a mentally ill mother. She wanted to create a perfect life for her own children, though she knew that was not only impossible but not healthy for them. Children needed to learn resiliency, which they could only do by facing and overcoming hard things...or watching their parents do the same.
“I’m so sorry I fell asleep last night,” he said gruffly. “I was looking forward to spending a little time with you.”
She flushed, knowing he wasn’t talking about ordering room service and chatting all night.
“You work long hard days and then had to drive in that crazy traffic. It’s understandable. Anyway, we don’t need a hotel room to, um, spend time together.”
“True.”
The lanes ahead were changing from three lanes to two for construction so he had to pull his hand away and focus on driving.
When they were past the merge, he spoke again. “How did Jess say things went with the girls?”
Rachel had called her sister while Cody and Silas had gone to the restroom at the clinic.
“She said they had a good night. Freckles threw up this morning but seemed fine when she and the girls left the house. Jess checked on her during the day and so did your mom and Ava and I guess she seemed normal.”
“I’m glad Jess was in town so she could hang out with Grace and Ava. How much longer will she be around?”
“I think she’s leaving next week. It’s her birthday Thursday. The big three-oh. I thought we should have a party for her.”
“Good idea. But she doesn’t really know anyone in town except us.”
“She knows Eleanor and her family. She knows Kurt and Jan, of course, and your mom and dad.”
“That’s true. Except your foster parents are still on their church mission. As for my parents, she’s met them maybe three or four times, besides our wedding. I wouldn’t say they’re close, would you?”
“Fine. I won’t invite your family. I just thought it might be more fun to have a big family dinner.”
“More fun for who? If the party is really for Jess, you know she doesn’t exactly love big crowds.”
She hated when he was so reasonable. He was right. Jess wasn’t an introvert but she didn’t love making small talk with people she didn’t know well.
> Funny that they could turn out so differently. Rachel loved social situations that forced her to talk to strangers.
“It would be fine with just us and the Whitakers. I think Jess would enjoy that. But I’m sure whatever you decide to do will be terrific,” Cody said diplomatically. “You’ve never thrown a bad party yet.”
“It’s true. My parties are pretty epic.”
He smiled and she wished he could hold her hand again.
As they drove back to Cape Sanctuary and their girls, Rachel allowed herself to simply savor the time together.
Their life might not be as perfect as she had once dreamed. Silas and his challenges seemed insurmountably hard sometimes. But she had three wonderful children, a caring, hardworking husband and a fulfilling career she enjoyed.
She resolved to focus on those things instead of all the things she couldn’t control.
21
Jess
“Thanks again for coming along with me,” Jess said to Sophie as they headed away from Whitaker House. “It’s nice to have company.”
She could handle the delivery of craft supplies to the women’s shelter by herself. But she genuinely liked Sophie and figured it would be good for the girl to help her.
“No problem. I can’t believe Gram said she would come with us and then backed out at the last minute. You must really be wearing her out. I don’t remember her ever taking so many naps before.”
Jess frowned, worried all over again at her friend’s health. Eleanor seemed to be fine one second, then pale and exhausted the next. Before she left, she intended to suggest that Eleanor have a complete medical checkup. What was the good of organizing and cleaning out Whitaker House if the woman was too ill to enjoy it?
“So. What ever happened with your friend Tyler? Did you ever find out why he didn’t show yesterday?”
Sophie made a face. “Maybe he was too busy making out with Ana Hernandez. I guess she’s his girlfriend now. They were all over each other in the halls. PDAs are so lame.”
Jess cleared her throat, grateful Sophie hadn’t been around to see her own heated kiss with Nate earlier that day.
“I mean, we all get that you like each other, right?” Sophie went on. “You don’t have to throw it in everyone’s face all the time. So lame.”
“True enough.” Jess paused, giving her a careful look. “I’m sorry.”
Sophie shrugged. “I’m not. He probably would have been a bad surfer anyway. Hey, do you care if we listen to music?”
At least she didn’t seem particularly heartbroken, mostly annoyed that she had wasted her time on someone who didn’t deserve her.
Good. Jess hoped she kept that attitude in all of her relationships moving forward, this girl on the brink of womanhood. “No. Go ahead.”
Sophie played around with the stereo until she found a song she apparently liked. She started singing along, bobbing her head and shifting in her seat.
Jess tried to remember what music she had liked when she was thirteen and couldn’t. Probably something emo.
They had been living in Texas, she remembered. Her dad had been at Fort Hood. School had been hard, home had been harder. She had wanted a dog desperately to ease some of the loneliness but of course her father wouldn’t allow it.
She pushed away the memories she didn’t want.
“How was the rest of school today?” She waited until the song was over to pose the obligatory question adults always seemed to ask.
Sophie shrugged. “This time of year is such a waste. I wish we were having summer vacation right now instead of in two more weeks. We’ve already done testing. We’re basically just wasting time until the end of the year.”
“What are you going to do this summer?”
“I don’t know. Probably hang out with my friends. Surf some. Go to the pool in town. And I’m on a softball team, so I’ll be busy with that. I wish I wasn’t too young to get a job somewhere.”
“You do a lot of babysitting, right?”
“When I can. I wish I could do it more regularly.”
Rachel ought to hire her to nanny for her during the summer. It would help on many levels and she knew Sophie would love it. She already had a case of hero worship over Rachel’s social media influencer status.
As soon as the idea took root, Jess thought it was brilliant and resolved to suggest it to her sister while she was in town.
Not that Rachel seemed to want to listen to much that Jess had to say.
“Is there something you could do to help your grandmother?” she offered as a backup idea.
Sophie shrugged. “I mow the lawn and she pays me for that. It can take half a day, even on a riding lawn mower. Sometimes I help her with cleaning the house in between the weeks her cleaners come.”
“Sounds like you’ll be plenty busy.”
Sophie chattered about some of the other things she wanted to do over the summer until they reached the shelter.
“Looks like we’re here.”
“This is just a thrift store.” Sophie looked confused.
“The shelter doesn’t take donations directly, they go through their charity shop. For the protection of those using the shelter, they have to try to keep their location private.”
Sophie seemed struck by the implications of that. Had anyone ever discussed domestic abuse with her? Jess wasn’t sure it was her place. On the other hand, teenage girls needed to know the warning signs of an abusive relationship so they could protect themselves.
If someone had told Roni Clayton, so much pain could have been avoided.
The director of the thrift store was thrilled over the donations of yarn and material and the sewing machine.
“Our clients can definitely use this,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
Sophie was quiet on the drive back to Cape Sanctuary.
“That was a nice thing Gram did. Giving them her extra craft stuff,” she said.
“Your grandmother is pretty special,” Jess said. She gave the girl a careful look. “So is your dad.”
If she hoped she could get Sophie to confide in her, she was doomed to disappointment. The girl’s jaw jutted out. “Sure. Except he’s a liar.”
“A liar?” Nate? She had a hard time believing that. “What did your dad lie to you about?”
“I would rather not talk about it,” Sophie said. Her mouth was tight and she folded her arms across her chest.
“That’s fine. But you should probably talk to your dad about it. I’m sure you misunderstood something he said.”
“I didn’t. I heard him loud and clear.”
This must be the reason she was angry at her father. She had heard him lie about something.
Whatever it was, Sophie didn’t want to talk about it and Jess didn’t push. For one thing, it wasn’t her business. For another, even if Sophie did confide in her, she couldn’t turn around and betray that confidence by telling Nate.
She changed the subject and they spent the rest of the drive talking about books Sophie loved.
She would miss the girl, too, when she left Cape Sanctuary. Sophie was funny and clever, with a stylish flair and her grandmother’s kind heart.
Somehow all the Whitakers had managed to squeeze their way into her heart and Jess had no idea how she was going to push them all back out.
22
Nate
“Thank you for dinner. It was good.”
His spaghetti was never anything to write home about, just bottled sauce, frozen meatballs and pasta. But he appreciated any positivity from Sophie these days.
“You’re welcome.”
She had been quiet all through dinner and he wondered if it had anything to do with the trip she had made with Jess to the women’s shelter earlier that day.
“Everything okay?” he finally asked.
“Yeah. Fine.” She scraped her leftover food into the trash. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”
He held his breath. “Go ahead.”
She gave him a sidelong look, as if trying to figure out the words. Finally, she blurted it out.
“I was wondering if you would be upset if I gave my dollhouse away.”
Of all the things he might have expected her to bring up, the elaborate Victorian dollhouse wouldn’t have made the list right now. He had forgotten about the thing, truth be told.
“I thought you loved that dollhouse. We worked on it for weeks.”
He had cherished memories of sanding the custom tiles for the roof, of wallpapering bedrooms, and helping her figure out how to create furniture out of scraps and items from the recycling bin.
From the time she was about six or seven, the dollhouse had always been her favorite toy. As her own personal style evolved, she had redecorated the rooms several times.
To him, that dollhouse symbolized her childhood.
“I did love it,” she said. “But I’m thirteen, Dad. Don’t you think I’m too old for dollhouses?”
No. He would never think that. She could play with it forever, as far as he was concerned.
“It’s going to waste in a corner of my room, which is pretty sad. Right now, it’s mostly taking up space.”
Taking up space. Kind of like he felt he was doing in her life these days.
“It’s a great dollhouse and there are probably other kids who would have fun playing with it.”
“What other kids did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking maybe the shelter where Gram gave her craft supplies today. Jess was telling me that sometimes women go there with their kids when they’re in a bad situation at home and need to stay somewhere safe. I bet those kids are scared. A dollhouse might help them feel better.”
“Oh. That’s a really great idea.”
She smiled at him. After weeks of tension, his daughter actually smiled at him. “I thought so, too. I was trying to think about what I could do to help and that’s the first thing that came into my head.”
The Path to Sunshine Cove Page 17
