by Eden Wolfe
Cork Town used to be the place where nothing changed.
Trudith had only been a girl when she’d moved into Cork Town, one of the housemothers there willing to take her in. Trudith had long been written off because of the condition of her eyes and legs. They’d all said she would be happier there.
And mostly, she was. Trudith hated Geb City Center. She went there as little as possible. She made her appearance for the mandatory meetings, the required assemblies, only those moments she couldn’t avoid.
The streets of Cork Town remained quiet, even after sun-up. Weekends saw fewer people on the streets even than during the week. People actively avoided the streets now, you could just never be sure what you’d find there. Trudith focused her thoughts on her destination, the twenty-ninth alleyway coming into view from the distance. She rounded the corner, the odd little apartment jutting out from the main building. Trudith remembered the first time she came.
When it had belonged to Lucius.
Trudith missed Lucius. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was specifically that had drawn her to him. Sure, he had been the Great Geneticist and there was no denying his incredible intellect. But it wasn’t that. There had been something soft inside him. She’d only caught glimpse of it a couple of times, like when Anna had undergone the operation.
Operation. Trudith didn’t know what else to call it. It had been both frightening and invigorating. It gave purpose in what had felt like a wholly un-purposeful world.
She reached the little apartment and gave the double knock on the door. It opened without her having to say a word. Trudith peeked in. Sat in the middle of a bunch of blankets, constructing something out of stones, was their reason for waking up in the morning and keeping the whole thing going.
“Why, hello, Arin.”
The child, big for his age from what Trudith could tell, reached out his arms with a laugh that made Trudith’s heart melt every single time. He was growing, a year old but somehow advanced. Trudith had been worried that he didn’t make much of the baby noises she heard other children make, but then one morning she’d stopped by while Anna was sleeping, and he spoke in full sentences about the frightening sounds he’d heard in the night. Guards and removals and women screaming. Arin could speak. And he could say a lot. More than any other of his age. Trudith now understood that he chose his silence.
She took him into her arms and then walked the twelve paces to the kitchen that was stuffed into the corner of the one-bedroom apartment.
“How’re you doing?” Trudith asked the back of Anna.
“I just can’t get anything done around here. And there’s something - something... Thank goodness you’ve come,” Anna turned away from the sink and fell into a big hug with Arin and Trudith. Trudith took her weight, as much as she could, given her legs. Anna was leaning heavily into her. Anna was a strong woman, young and dedicated. This desperate embrace was right out of character.
“Hey now, hey now. What’s going on?”
“You haven’t come in so long. I’ve been scared to leave.”
“It’s only been a week. I can’t just show up at the door like we’re having a regular visit, you know that. Anyone could be following me here.”
“I’ve got to get out.”
“Get out where?”
“Leave the apartment,” Anna wouldn’t make eye contact with her.
“Ok, I’ll stay with Arin.”
“He needs to get out too, this isn’t good for him either.”
Trudith thought about it for a moment. Anna was right. They had to provide a lifestyle as normal as possible, keep him healthy, help him grow. That was what they’d promised when they had been entrusted with Arin.
But Trudith had no idea how to raise a child, let alone one with Arin’s genetic qualities. On the outside, he looked mostly like a normal child. From what little Trudith recalled from Basics classes, he had mostly normal boy parts. Though she couldn’t be sure. Something about how he looked ‘down there’ didn’t seem quite the same as what had been in the textbooks.
Raising a child was also nothing like what she expected. The way Mary spoke of it on the screen in the main square of Cork Town, raising children was a duty. A sacred responsibility. Work.
But when Trudith was with Arin, his big eyes shining as his cheeks pulled into the sweetest of smiles, she felt something different altogether. Her heart felt like it grew inside her. It was bigger than she knew it could be. She felt something so strong and unparalleled that there were moments when she was blind with the emotion. Every time she left the apartment, her heart would beat between her ears and a sadness enveloped her. All she wanted was to spend more time with him.
Lucius had pulled her aside when this whole thing had begun. They couldn’t call him a ‘him’ in public, Lucius had been clear about that. Anyone who caught any trace of Arin being anything but a girl would reverberate across Lower Earth. He’d put it in no uncertain terms.
But it wasn’t just the danger of being a boy, he’d explained to Trudith alone. Arin was the closest genetic model to a boy.
But Arin was not a boy.
Not the way they’d always known boys to be. Lucius had sat back in his wheelchair, eyes far away out the window. The world wouldn’t accept Arin. Trudith had to keep this information to herself. It might upset Anna; she might abandon Arin. And Arin needed his mother.
So they’d have to raise him and then figure out later what to do with him.
Trudith had always thought Lucius would be there to guide them through it. She never expected the new Queen would have him executed like that, in plain sight, in the middle of the day.
Trudith walked across the apartment and set Arin down by his blanket.
“So, I hear you want to go outside.”
He smiled and nodded, green eyes flashing brown for a moment, almost imperceptibly. She knew now that this meant he was very happy about something. A strange little trait, but she’d come to love how it communicated his feelings.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” Anna stirred a pot of stewed vegetables that she must have been saving for weeks now. “If we go to the western edge of the commune, we won’t cross anyone at all. They won’t even care that we’re there. It used to be run over by opies, but now...” Anna’s voice trailed off and she looked up. Trudith heard the sounds of the vegetables popping in the stew.
“Keep stirring, Anna.”
“What? Yes. I was just remembering...” She waited a moment longer before continuing the stir.
“Maybe you’re right,” Trudith picked Arin up. He was getting heavy, soon he’d be too big to be carried. “Maybe fresh air is a good idea.”
“You think so?” Anna’s voice went up a pitch. “I was so worried you’d say no.”
“Things have been calm the last couple of days. This is probably the best moment to get out. If we avoid others. And if we make sure we do everything to avoid the stomach illness. If we both end up stuck in bed then there’s no one left to take care of this one.” She tickled his stomach, feeling the peculiar twist of whatever was happening in his organs. It was another way Arin was set apart from the rest.
“We’ll be careful, Trudith. I’ll be extra careful.”
“I know you will.”
Anna’s feet hopped around, child-like. But Trudith wasn’t convinced. It wasn’t just the need for fresh air that was on Anna’s mind. Something more was behind her eyes, Trudith could tell.
“Alright, that’s enough now. Tell me what’s going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re holding something back. Tell me.”
“Do you now have special powers or something? I’m fine, really.”
“No, you’re not, so don’t try to convince me otherwise.” Trudith put Arin back down and he began rearranging his stones into something new. She walked over to the kitchen corner and put her hands on her hips. “Come on, then. Tell me.”
“They say the illness is like cholera,” Anna’s voice w
as light, like she was musing on the subject without caring about it. Trudith knew this wasn’t the real issue.
“Yeah, I heard that on the screen.”
“I can’t hear the screen from here. I feel totally cut off.”
“I’ll come more often, okay?”
Anna shook her head. “You shouldn’t. As it is, once a week, we’re taking a risk. But here’s what I don’t get. If the illness is like cholera, then why haven’t they resolved it yet? Cholera is thousands of years old. Or at least hundreds. I don’t actually know, but we know they had it pre-Mist. So why can’t they just adjust the treatment?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you think it’s because the illness is only in Cork Town?”
Trudith had long suspected that was the case. “I don’t know.”
“They’ll care when their precious city center gets hit. Then they’ll do something about it in Central Tower,” Anna stirred more vigorously.
“Anna, now you’re stirring that stew like a madwoman.”
Anna continued.
“Anna,” Trudith repeated. It was like she couldn’t hear Trudith. “Anna!”
Trudith grabbed her shoulders and spun her to face her, the spoon of stew splattering across them both.
Anna wouldn’t look her in the eye.
“Out with it.”
Anna’s shoulders began to shake a little and her chest rose and fell quickly. Trudith whispered.
“Whatever it is, it’s okay. We’ve come this far. Tell me.”
“It’s a horrible thing to say.”
“I’m sure I’ve heard worse. Tell me.”
Anna looked up at the ceiling as a tear dropped down her cheek. Then she looked over to Arin.
“Sometimes, in the night, I go over to him. He doesn’t sleep, not really. Hardly ever. He closes his eyes, but I can tell he’s awake.”
Trudith spoke gently, “Lucius told us he would be different.”
“And then sometimes when I’m bathing him, I feel what’s inside his gut. It’s not normal.”
“We knew he was going to be different.”
“Don’t patronize me!” Anna hissed, keeping her voice low. “I guess in my head I knew he would be this way. Sure, Lucius tried to explain it. But you don’t understand. He has the parts of a boy, as much as I can tell, but I don’t think... I don’t think he’s a boy.”
I could tell her, but Lucius told me I shouldn’t. Can she handle it now?
Trudith looked at Anna, her shoulders mildly shaking still as she looked on Arin who still sat gleefully playing with the box.
Keep the bond alive, Lucius had said. Above all else, for the child, keep that bond with mother healthy.
Trudith didn’t know how Anna would react to the truth. Would she reject Arin outright?
It wasn’t worth the risk.
“Anna, it’s alright to doubt. With everything I know about the Willing Woman program, and granted it’s not much, they speak of the emotions women feel. That’s why there’s medication to help them through it. You haven’t had that benefit. It’s only normal you should feel overwhelmed and... and disturbed.”
Anna looked to Trudith. “You think so? You think this is normal.”
“Yes,” Trudith lied.
Anna nodded gently and looked back to Arin. Then she threw her arms around Trudith’s neck. “Thank you. That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
Anna hugged her close. It felt so strange to Trudith; she’d become unaccustomed to the sensation of touch from an adult. It felt electric through her body. Powerful. She both craved it and detested it. Like a treasured memory of bad times, touch was off-limits for Trudith, the way it was for all of Lower Earth.
“Alright, alright now.”
Anna wouldn’t let go. Trudith was starting to feel like she was suffocating. A memory so old was coming alive in her body and she didn’t want to wake that place. She took Anna’s arms and removed them from her shoulders.
“Let’s go out while we can. It’s a good time, between controls. Let’s go now.”
Trudith grabbed the papers out of the kitchen drawer where they lived ever since Anna had taken over Lucius’ apartment.
The authorization papers were Lucius’ last gift to them before he’d been executed. Trudith couldn’t imagine what their lives would be like without them. As it was, controls were fewer than they used to be, but they could still ramp up when entirely unexpected. It was always better to be safe than sorry, especially where Arin was concerned.
Trudith didn’t know of any situation where children were subject to special reviews the way adults were, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t possible. If they were ever caught out, if ever someone decided they wanted to do a closer review of Arin… Trudith shook the thought from her mind and tossed a couple of cookies in the bag instead.
She looked over to Anna who was putting a yellow dress on Arin. Almost all baby clothes were dresses, which suited Trudith just fine. Less likelihood of them standing out.
While there were few newly arrived children in Cork Town, there were nonetheless enough that Arin could easily be considered a child like the rest. Florence had been given charge over a child who was just about the same age as Arin; the child had a hole in her heart. It wasn’t expected she would live past the age of five.
Good thing she wasn’t born just a little bit earlier, she would have been hauled off like all those kids who got the virus. Trudith sometimes had dreams about the caravans that had taken the children and the older women away. Eyes that had looked out at her, deep-set eyes of women who didn’t know where they were going and didn’t know what was going to happen. And young, scared eyes who none the less trusted that everything would be just fine.
Trudith looked at Anna cooing with Arin, and couldn’t help wondering if the thousands of children out there in quarantine were getting at least a minimal amount of care. She had her doubts. As a nation, they had never been very good at watching over the weak.
Just look at Cork Town, how did this even begin? Whoever had the idea of separating those who didn’t meet genetic standards from the rest of society? Who thought that was a good idea? Why would they even think such a thing?
Trudith didn’t begrudge her station: in fact, she was just as glad to be on the outskirts of the capital city, and not in it. She didn’t really understand what happened in Geb City Centre, but the little she had seen of it during assemblies and then the whipping death of Lucius was enough to make her want to stay in their quiet Cork Town commune. Even with all the regulations. She wasn’t convinced that the city was any better.
“Okay, enough playing around now. Let’s get out there in this morning sun.” She marched over to and lifted him up from the ground as Anna put on her shoes. “And you, little one, I am just going to eat you all up!” She buried her face in his belly, pretending to gobble him. He squealed and giggled in delight, as he always did. Trudith again felt the place where there was something different inside him. She had felt it from the time he’d been born. But in Cork Town, all of them were different. In that way, he was no different from the rest of them.
“All set,” Anna said, a smile on her face like Trudith hadn’t seen in a long time. “Out we go.”
Trudith smiled back and opened the door. She stepped out, the sunlight warm against her cheek. She pulled the little hat lower down on Arin’s head so he wouldn’t be blinded by the light. She stepped out the door into the alleyway, her feet crunching on the gravel. They walked in silence.
With each step further away from the apartment, Trudith felt a rumble of anxiety growing. There shouldn’t have been anything to worry about. This was a safe hour and it was perfectly acceptable for two women to go for a stroll with the child in their charge.
But there were too many memories in the streets for Trudith to be able to relax. She remembered the opies who used to congregate in the adjacent alleyway. Few people had ventured this far into the commune, making it a perfect hideaway for them.
>
But they weren’t there anymore.
Lucius used to roll down this alleyway in his wheelchair. What would he think of what we’ve done with Arin? Surely he would have been pleased with all we have been able to do under the circumstances. Or would he? What did he really expect from us?
“Can you pass me the jar of water?” Anna asked. “He looks thirsty.”
Trudith rummaged through the tote bag. “How can you tell just by looking?”
Anna shrugged. “I’ve been enclosed with him in a one-bedroom apartment since he was born.” She turned to Arin, “I do wish he would speak to me more often though.”
Arin looked up at her briefly, took the jar, and kept walking. His stride wasn’t quite even but he managed very well on his feet.
“He’ll speak when he’s ready,” Trudith put a hand on Anna’s shoulder.
“You should hear what he says when he does decide to talk, though it’s once a day at best. It’s incredible. He talks about weather patterns and unusual sounds coming from the neighbor’s place. He’ll explain to me that he’s going to construct a great hall for us to live in. He’s planning it with his stones.” Anna looked at Trudith, “What child speaks like this?”
“Only Arin.”
They walked a further twenty minutes and finally rounded the corner into the open stretch before the last boundary of Cork Town. Moss, grass, and weeds had overtaken this part of the city long ago. In the days before the Mist, this was known to be the entry to Geb. Ruins of a stone entrance were visible as well as foundations of original outhouses. Everyone assumed they were outhouses, no one really knew what they were at all. Trudith was convinced that it had been a village. There was a series of ruins, enough for a village-worth of people, though now the stones only came about waist-high, foundations of lives once lived before the Mist.
Trudith loved it here. She didn’t come often anymore; she had lost the habit when the controls had started and had restricted their movements. But when she was younger, on days the pub was closed, she had come and explored and imagined all that must have been in Lower Earth before the Final War. One day she would take Arin around and show him all the little inlets and fascinating secrets of the destroyed village area. For now, they stayed in a grassy area where he could run and play with rocks without getting hurt.
