In summary the ways we relate to objects are powerful metaphors and provide us with glimpses or even a prolonged gaze at how intimate relationships are articulated. Money is not just an indicator of wealth or a counter for transaction (see Lea & Webley , 2006) but has symbolic meaning and how it is used in different relationships give us insight into how these relationships work.
The content of consumption i.e. what people buy or consume is extremely wide-ranging and it is not the purpose of this book to itemise it. Even if we neglect the historical dimension and focus on the frame and agenda given by Erikson , we would have to make cross-cultural comparisons and spread the net wide across the whole range of both goods and services. So while I recognise there are other cultures where consumption is driven by a need to survive rather than raise a family in a household full of goods, I shall be focussing on a limited number of reasonably affluent societies.
Developing a mature sense of intimacy, acquiring possessions and establishing your own household is the goal for many young adult couples and to do this one needs a place to call home , preferably one’s own flat or house. This is hard to get at the best of times in the UK where house prices have traditionally been high and buying one’s own home has been seen as desirable as an investment because of property inflation and also cultural values where ‘owning your own home’ is often seen as indicative of social mobility 24 (Best & Shimili, 2012). Many marriages are made when either one or both partners are at or have been to university . Universities charge students and in the UK this considerable debt 25 (Belfield, Britton, Dearden, & van der Erve, 2017) to be paid off when a job is found.
Being unable to buy one’s own home has led many young couples to move in with one of their parents and in an international survey conducted by McCann Truth Central, 29 years was the average response to the question ‘At what age is it socially acceptable to still be living with parents?’ (cited by De Gallier, 2017). Although I am sure that some couples find the arrangements very suitable for developing their relationship (especially if services like washing and cleaning are supplied by the indulgent parents) it is less than ideal and if we take seriously Erikson’s precept of developing a mature intimacy then it is potentially threatening. Intimacy requires trust and relaxation so one feels at one with the other and living in a small house with people who very probably raised and brought up either the husband or the wife is not a conducive arrangement for attaining Erikson ’s 6th stage. Of course it can work but staying at home for economic reasons could mean that both of them work and rarely see each other anyway. I am talking here of an arrangement which, although not coercive is seen as the best solution by the couple facing stringent circumstances. Other arrangements where several couples share a house and pool resources and are brought together for economic reasons rather than political or life-style reasons (as was done in the 1960s and 1970s) could provide a better environment for achieving intimacy.
Much everyday consumption activity at this stage involves looking forward. What clothes shall I wear for this new job? What image do I want to present to the outside world? Or to my partner? What are our tastes as a couple? Fashion, image, and what is known in the psychological literature as impression management 26 which originated in Goffman’s work on the presentation of self in everyday life (Goffman , 1959) all contribute to the consumption patterns of the couple. They would include items such as food, where you eat out, car style, where you go on holiday and so on. There is a (small) elephant in the room which is cost and partners might argue over whether it’s right, moral, or sensible to spend over the functional value of goods bought just to ‘create a good impression’. But if you decide to go for value for money eschewing any hint of style then you will still be presenting an image—maybe others will see you as green or as a hipster. At this time of life many couples will be trying to climb the greasy pole of success and fulfil their dreams and desires . The shift from ‘cool’ to ‘style’ characterises those in their 20s and beyond.
There is an important event at this stage in life that we will now look at. One relates to birth and the other to union. Birth is usually immersed in consumption and ritual and there is a large literature on both so I will only be able to skim the surface. Although marriage often provides the framework for birth, the extent to which these two institutions of birth and marriage are becoming dislocated in present Western society means that the literature on the psychology of marriage and consumption will not be covered here.
Having a Child
All across the world people of different ages decide to have children. Although the majority of couples consist of a man and a woman and in the majority of these male/female unions the biological mother and father are the couple, there are many other possible combinations. The decision process is complex i.e. who really decides and how they negotiate and what factors are taken into account. What is clear though is that in many societies nowadays decisions are made on a combination of factors; financial, emotional, lifestyle, health and medical and we don’t just rely on moral precepts of what the right thing to do is. These decisions are made in many cultures although in more traditional societies they are accompanied by a variety of different customs related to childbirth from decision making to birth itself. It would take too long to even start discussing them so I have chosen one from my own culture, a composite if you like of what I am familiar with, stripped down to its essentials with a consumption theme added.
At some time our couple 27 might start thinking of having or adopting children and this is a major event in lots of ways. Pregnancy and birth are seen as a change in status for the family and the woman in particular. Pregnant women can signal their status publically and visually, at least in later stages and will talk about it with friends who tacitly or explicitly recognise her different status. If this is the first child then some couples will need to find out what the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy are. Online sites like Mumsnet are popular and provide useful information like what can or can’t be consumed like alcohol (no) and exercise (yes, with limitations). Being pregnant provides an opportunity for sharing and enhancing intimacy, in Erikson ’s sense with your partner. The new child will need to be clothed, fed, and toileted. She will need a place to sleep and transport to get around. Some of these will be provided by grandparents and godparents, and the rest by the couple. There is an informal system of gift-giving related to the birth and dedicated cards for that occasion are available from stores and small gifts like baby toys and clothes are acceptable. Gifts are one-way i.e. not reciprocated but recognised by the receiver 28 with a card or other communication. However the main consumption items, and here parents, grandparents and possibly godparents will contribute are related to baby’s new life. Here is the new family’s first exposure to the massive range of goods and services for baby and toddler. 29 There are high status modes of transporting baby so the well-equipped status conscious mother will possess a baby carrier (Cybex, £175) car seat(s) for different ages (Stokke, £219), and an exclusive classic Silver Cross Surf Aston Martin Edition pram for £3000 30 for that special walk in Kensington Gardens.
One name that did come up in my search was Bugaboo . They are a brand of pushchair for toddlers and have a certain must-have niche in the market having been given the seal of approval by being used by the Duchess of Cornwall. In a newspaper piece (Carter, 2013) the designer, Max Barenbrug was interviewed about the success of this brand and claimed that his key design concept was mobility. Which I thought was appropriate as the other product to be found on the Bugaboo website (bugaboo.com) is luggage. The 4 wheels which are de rigueur for all suitcases these days are there and the design of them is similar to the pushchair. The design features of these objects are a very successful and original combination of form and function and Barenbrug has made the four wheels on luggage and pushchair/buggy/stroller a signature of his engineering. Mobility as a concept suggests movement and travel but it also connotes visibility in public places and the self on display to othe
rs. However the mobile self is often the mobile family on holiday and can be found in crowded public spaces. There can be a conflict between the need to display oneself and one’s family to the best advantage and the needs of others to get from A to B. The irritations of self-extension in such circumstances are I hope well-known where even a small physical object such as the smartphone can disrupt shared space to an extent that is remarkable given its size. Add luggage, a buggy and a small family and chaos should rule. 31 The fact that it often doesn’t is surely testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
I have deliberately exaggerated the high-end of the available options for what might have been anticipated as a functional list of things every parent should have in order to give their first-born a good start in life. Status considerations are an essential part of this important transition in life and the beginnings of generativity in the parents. Status is meant here as a step into a different set of role expectation where people recognise you and your family as a unit, and not just you as a couple. In addition, not only will the parents expect their child to do well and carry whatever moral and ethical precepts they transmit to her in future conduct, but they are also future-oriented and thinking of what the next generation will do with the culture they have inherited. 32
Bridging the Gap
Bridging the gap refers to my self-imposed task of attempting to find some ideas that will provide continuity across the lifespan from birth to death . Erikson ’s grand theory has established one way of doing this with stages. I have also been very conscious of the rich variety of alternative families, lifestyles and life events that map the life course of all the 7.44 billion people on the planet, and how to do justice to their different patterns of consumption . I left you with a metaphor of bridging a harbour by narrowing the gap using reclamation but I can’t see a way to finish the job. There is however a different metaphor that could take us through and that is one based on changes both diurnal and annual. The rhythms of the day and of the year are ancient and metaphor as discussed by Lakoff and Johnson (1980) is linked with universal aspects of thought. We recognise phrases like ‘the twilight years’ and ‘autumn years’ to signify later aspects of life where the concrete mundane experienced reality of the daily cycle or the seasons adds meaning to the gradual process of growing older. Carl Gustav Jung (1933, p. 108) called mid-life ‘the afternoon of life’. I have mentioned (see Chapter 3, section on “Metaphor”) that the future is ‘in front’ for English-speaking cultures and locating events on this dimension is natural. So events that are planned are made meaningful by describing them in the language of daily and yearly existence. In addition our culture measures time continuously. I keep appointments that are scheduled to the nearest 5 minutes and I know from apps on my phone when my bus is coming within minutes and can check that with a schedule updated continuously at the bus stop.
Time Orientation
We now need a couple of other concepts and we’re ready to track through adulthood . One is time orientation . How much time do you spend thinking about the past? Or do you live in the present and think that a present-centred existence is the best way? Perhaps most of your time is focussed on the future. In the language of psychology this is an individual difference which means that we’re not all the same when it comes to time orientation . So one would anticipate as one grows older, the past becomes a richer, more fondly remembered place and the future with the imminence of illness and death becoming ever closer is avoided and not thought about. I would have thought so but the literature paints a more complex picture. Lang and Cartensen (2002) found that many older people up to 90 years of age saw their future as limited, which makes sense and for those who did, emotional goals involving their grandchildren (c.f. generativity ) and having meaningful emotional experiences were prioritised. But those who saw the future as open-ended wanted to know more and explore new friendships with people with different interests. Strough et al. (2016) use the interesting turn of phrase of ‘the lifespan hourglass ’ being half full or half empty which seems to sum up the dilemma of getting older where your future time allocation is getting less and less as you get older but you need to focus on the empty part and fill it with activities you always wanted to do rather than thinking too much about the half full part which has been and gone. Their findings suggest that two factors are working in the minds of older people; what are my opportunities for the future and I’ve got limited time left! Before about 60 years of age, people see the hourglass half full. They focus more on opportunities rather than time being limited. But when they move into their seventh decade of life (post 60 years of age) their focus switches. There is more attention paid to the limited time left—the half empty vision.
Lachman , Teshale, and Agrigoroaei (2015) looked at the midlife period from 40 years to 60 years. 33 It is seen as a crossroads of youth and old age, a pivotal period where growth as well as decline needed to be compromised. This has been recognised in the past and has been detected in European art of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. In some paintings it was possible to analyse the life course as symbolic steps up to apex set in the middle of the picture with a descent from that. Mid-life could then be inferred as that apex. According to Lachman et al. (op. cit., p. 21) this feature was detectable in some late sixteenth century European paintings, continuing through the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
Given the interest in time orientation it’s not surprising that an instrument for measuring it was developed by Zimbardo and Boyd (1999) and part of their paper looked at an analysis of the various processes that came under the heading ‘time orientation’. So we have the concept of time perspective which I have paraphrased as the extent to which your mental perspective on your memories plus your anticipation and projection of future events and goals play a role in your existential, experienced present. Relating this to consumption I am choosing a product in a clothing store and I have a stock of recollections and experiences of the brands on display and these affect my emotions, motivation and thinking. I also think about the future as a consumer of these brands, about what they will look like for my career, can I really afford these expensive shoes and are they an investment and so on. 34 Zimbardo and Boyd (op. cit.) constructed and validated a questionnaire based measure of time orientation which is available in their paper, but also statistically established a set of factors 35 that accounted for a large percentage of the responses to their questionnaire. Consequently these factors can be interpreted as the underlying structure of time orientation and you might recognise parts of yourself there. The first one can be called ‘past-negative’ which is a gloomy, pessimistic personal view of your own past. Next comes ‘present-hedonistic ’ and this is where you wallow in the here-and-now doing things on impulse. The next factor is simply ‘future’ where you plan, try and keep appointments and get things done on time. The fourth factor, ‘past-positive’ is easy to read—nostalgia where the old days are always good. Finally a factor called ‘present-fatalistic ’. This fascinated me because what emerged there was an acceptance of the world as it is and an acknowledgment of change beyond your control. In other studies these factors were found to relate to various personality measures and other constructs. It’s important however to consider the limitations of questionnaire based studies in general and the questions put and the scales used. The analysis of questionnaires irrespective of whether it is mathematically sophisticated or not, is only as good as the questions put and the responses obtained. This one is an example of a closed-item questionnaire where for each item respondents check one response box out of five using a ‘strongly agree; agree; not sure; disagree; strongly disagree’ criterion which is usually called a Likert scale. There were 56 items, each one a statement, and they covered what the authors considered to be the field of ‘time orientation ’. In my opinion the authors make a good case that time orientation is probably a fundamental construct of human thinking about time. In addition the authors regard this orientation as part of one’s psych
ological makeup just as personality dimensions are. I have also argued that spatial metaphors , especially in front/behind, structure time and also that we can make the lifespan more immediate and concrete by using diurnal and annual metaphors. But we need to cast the net wider across cultures and at different ages to establish whether the five factor solution cited by Zimbardo and Boyd (op. cit.) is the only pattern to emerge. Both of these have been done and although one review is accessible and will be discussed shortly, the other is less so and will only be briefly mentioned now. The five factor structure of Zimbardo’s scale was replicated by Sircova et al. (2007) using a Russian sample. In addition Russian women have higher orientation to past positive and present fatalistic than Russian men. People living in large Russian cities score higher on present hedonistic and lower on future that people living in small towns.
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