I scoffed hanging up a shirt. “No, I have not. Don’t be stupid.”
She jolted upward. “Yes, you have. Not only are you getting defensive when I say it, but you just said that the legend of Clara is bull crap. I have known you your whole life, and you have always loved that story. You have based your entire romantic life on finding your war hero. And I don’t literally mean war hero… you know what I mean… whatever. You have based your entire romantic life on the story of Clara Cliffs. And now, suddenly, this guy comes into your life, and you’re afraid, and all of a sudden Clara is bull crap. No. I call bull crap on you.”
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her. “Look, I clearly admit I have feelings for the man. And the truth is, I’m not sure that I can separate my emotions from sex with him. I think I already care about him too much. And I think that by sleeping with him knowing he’s going to leave, it’s going to break my heart. I don’t want another heartbreak. This is why people have rebounds, so there’s a break between heartbreak. I don’t want to go from miserable to completely distraught because of men. I will survive it.”
Tish’s face softened and she reached over touching my hand. “Right, but this guy isn’t like your ex.”
I chuckled shaking my head, looking off in the distance. “Do you know what the first story that my ex told me before we started dating was?”
Tish wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know, how to make homemade beer?”
“No,” I replied. “We were sitting outside after the Easter egg roll just talking about the families that were there and what we wanted out of the future. He told me he wanted a family with little boy and a little girl but most importantly, he wanted a wife who was his best friend. Someone he felt he couldn’t do without. And then he told me the story of Clara as if I had never heard it before. I truly felt the emotion in his voice. I know that’s hard for you to picture because you’ve only ever known the idiot that crushes beer cans on his forehead and occasionally looks nice shirtless. But he wasn’t always like he is now. He wasn’t always so cold. And I don’t know what happened to him. I don’t know if I was part of what happened to him, but people change. My ex changed a lot over the years and the person that I loved at one point no longer exists. So, say I take a chance on Christian, and say he actually does stay, there is no guarantee that he won’t change too.”
Tish rubbed my back leaning her head against my shoulder. “No, honey, there is no guarantee. But there is no guarantee in life either. If we all looked at love like that none of us would ever be Clara and her husband. There would be no great love, and we would be a bunch of bitter people.”
I pulled my legs up and crossed them on the bed slapping my hands in my lap. “Yes, but Christian is already so complicated. It’s not like starting something with someone who’s simple and your love is simple, and then they change over the years and it becomes complicated. I would be starting out with a maze of confusion and loose ends. Besides, I do not want to be a celebrity’s girlfriend. I don’t want paparazzi. I don’t want to be tabloid news. I don’t want people in my life like that. I have what I want. I want to be a local baker. I want to win stupid cookie challenges.”
“Right, but when do those stupid cookie challenges become not enough to fill that void inside of you?” Tish asked me. “When will you reach a point when nothing becomes enough because only love can fill that? Only partnership and a future together. I think you’re scared and that’s okay, but if you don’t take any chances, you might end up like Clara but you won’t be jumping off a cliff because of heartbreak.”
I glanced over at her, not used to her saying something so prolific. I looked at her again and shook my head. “Honestly, I really think I would become Hilda.”
We both sat there in silence for a moment before bursting into laughter. Tish was right, there was no denying that. She had no idea that I couldn’t bake something to save my life. She hadn’t yet pick up on the fact that every morning when we went to work, she was the one who baked everything according to my recipes. My recipes were written a long time before. I was assuming she had figured that nothing new had been baked in the store for a while because I had so much going on. It would only be a matter of time until I was found out. It would only be a matter of time until Tish came down with a cold and I had to cook that day. I had to bake the cookies which would ultimately close down the shop because I would start a massive fire.
It was so frustrating to me. There were two things in this world that I adored. Baking was beyond a hobby or career for me, it was my time. Love was something that everyone wanted but I yearned for that deep connection. What sucked about that was apparently without one, I cannot have the other. When I was happy and in love, I could create some of the most amazing culinary perfections. When I was miserable or fighting it, it was like I had never cooked before. I might as well just throw the dough straight into the fire pit and let little charred bowls of sugar develop. So, while everyone else did without love, when I did without it, I lost almost everything.
I knew what Tish would say if I told her that. I had the opportunity to have love, even if it was for only a short time and only on my terms. The problem with that was, I had yet to decide whether being completely loveless and cookieless was better than being heartbroken. I had felt both, I had endured both, but I had also felt the beautiful side of things. Unfortunately for me, with the connection that I had to Christian already, I knew that if I let myself fall in love with him, it would be beyond anything I had experienced before. On one hand that was incredibly exciting. On the other hand … Could I even return from something like that? Could I survive that heartbreak? Realistically I would have to say yes, but not everything was realistic. And not everything followed rules.
My phone rang, pushing me from my thoughts. I walked over to the dresser, turning around to find Tish looking at me hopefully. I shook my head and answered. “Hello Carl.”
Tish snarled her lips and fell back in the bed. Carl was cheerful as always. “Hello my culinary Princess. I was just calling to let you know that the recipes for the town cookbook are due very soon. I have yet to get a cookie recipe from you and I know that there are at least 20% of townsfolk specifically purchasing this book just for your recipe. Besides, the money goes for things that we all love like the Christmas festival.”
Why was it that everything I had talked to Christian about suddenly banged in my chest when someone else mentioned it? Just the thought of the Christmas festival and those dead ducks made me sick to my stomach and not because the ducks were dead, but because I had just shared that story with Christian the day before. I swallowed the feeling down and searched my mind for an answer. “Of course. I just want to make sure that it’s 100% before I handed it over to you. I don’t want to give you a cookie recipe that works on paper but doesn’t actually work when you put it together.”
Carl clapped his hands. “Yay! I will mark it down that I have to remind you when we get closer to the deadline, but if you get it done before then send me an email and then call me to let me know you sent it so that I can go in and pull it out. We are really excited to have you constantly support this town, and we appreciate you.”
He was making me feel guilty, as if he knew that I was lying to him. Sure, I wanted to give him a recipe, but creating one was impossible. My answer bought me time though, and that’s all that I could ask for. Hopefully the rest of my life ironed itself out before that time was over.
Chapter 13
Christian
I squinted down at the piece of paper that the bed-and-breakfast owner had written on. I felt bad for using my celebrity to get information, but it was the only way I knew how to get it done. The lady at the front, after hearing my plea to help get Rory’s cat back from her ex, immediately scribbled down the address on a piece of paper and handed over to me. I could tell she thought it was extremely romantic, and I hoped that Rory thought the same. I didn’t know what to expect when I walked up to her ex’s house, or
even why I thought it was a good idea in the first place, but I had been full mode and ready to do it.
It was obvious that Rory’s cat meant a lot to her, and even though I knew that part of her anguish over the cat was because of the stress she was feeling in her life, not to mention the stress I was putting on her life, I also knew if she held that cat in her arms again, she would begin to feel better. I had never had a pet before, and cats didn’t ever really seem to like me for some reason, but I wasn’t adopting the thing, I was only rescuing it and taking it back to Rory.
Sure, that trip from her exes to her house was a little bit nerve-racking to think about considering I didn’t actually know how I was going to get the cat from point A to B because I didn’t have a carrier. But at that point it didn’t matter. I would take a slash to the face by cat claw if it meant I could see Rory’s happy face again. What I really was concerned about was how her ex was going to react. He didn’t seem like the most stable of fellows and I really didn’t want to have to put them down. I was hoping the whole situation could be handled in a mature and secure manner. There was no reason to have a full-on confrontation over anything.
When I finally reached the mailbox with number 713 on it, I turned and looked. It was a small white rambler with blue shutters and overgrown grass. To the right of the house was what looked like a broken-down tractor, and to the left a car with no tires. None of that surprised me though, it was exactly what I expected. The guy didn’t necessarily look like a country bumpkin, but from what he sounded like and spoke like when I saw him, he definitely fit the bill. Handsome, dumb, and country. That was never a good combination.
Mustering my strength, I carefully pushed through their knee-high white picket fence door that hung lopsided. Walking up the sidewalk to the front door I glanced back and forth, wanting to make sure he didn’t come out of nowhere and sideswiped me. I knew that my face was not going to be welcome there, and I knew that he was going to immediately have a negative reaction but I was prepared for it. I just wanted the cat.
I stood in front of the door, cracking my neck before knocking hard on it. I heard the rattle of glass which sounded like empty beer bottles, the slamming shut of a reclining chair, and shuffling footsteps to the front door.
When the door flew open, I stared at him, pretty sure that it had been the first time ever I had knocked on the door and had a man answer in nothing but his boxers, a heart tattooed on his chest, and a look of confusion on his face. He sniffed, sucking on his teeth and nodded at me. “Can I help you? Are you here selling something? Like magazines or something? You look a little bit old to be a Boy Scout.”
I stared at him for a minute, blinking my eyes. Could it actually be true that after standing face-to-face with this guy, he didn’t actually recognize me? Was he that dense that the guy he called a sissy and was really upset about telling him that I had killed people thought I was a complete stranger selling magazines at his doorstep? The longer I stood there looking at him the more I realized that he wasn’t just one crayon short of the box, he was a box of crayons that only contained the primary colors. And within those crayons they rattled around in the box, smashing into each other.
I cleared my throat, glancing back behind him at the mess of a house that he was laying down watching TV in. When I looked back at him, he still looked completely blank. “Yeah, I’m actually here concerning Rory.”
As soon as her name came from my lips he straightened up, his jaw tightening, his hand gripping tighter on the doorframe. “She can’t come herself?”
“I think you know why she didn’t come herself,” I replied.
He sucked his teeth again, this time looking up and down my outfit. “What are you? Some kinda lawyer?”
The level of stupid standing in front of me was baffling. “No, my name is Christian. I’m a friend of Rory’s and we met the other day.”
He thought about it for a second, and just when I thought I might have to warn him not to hurt himself, a look of recognition flashed across his face. “Oh. You’re that guy I saw the restaurant bragging about killing people. Which also means that you’re that author, that famous one that wrote those chick books.”
“They are not chick books,” I replied shaking my head. “Never mind. Definitely not worth arguing over. Yes, that is me.”
Behind him on the floor I could see the cat slink forward watching the outside. He looked back over his shoulder at her and then back at me, narrowing his eyes and broadening his shoulders. “You’re not getting the cat.”
Of course, he would be in asshole.
“Look,” I said keeping my eyes on his fists to make sure he wasn’t going to hit me out of nowhere. “That cat is obviously important to Rory which is why you’re holding it hostage. And I know that it’s hard for you to see two steps into the future, but I’m actually kind of here to help you out. So, sure, you can keep the cat kidnapped right now and get under her skin. But she’s planning on taking you to court over it. So, considering your own constant bickering with the police, I figured you might wanna hand her over before you have to hand her over to a judge. I’m pretty sure that jail doesn’t fare well for dudes like us.”
He sniffled, obviously slowly computing what I just said. He stepped out of the doorway and I backed up. “You know what’s funny? All this drama. Everything could have been just nice and simple but no. Rory’s problem is, she expects perfection. I messed up one little thing, one little inconsequential thing and she could not live with me anymore. She’s the kind of girl that everybody falls in love with. But I had her, but once I had her, I couldn’t keep up with her demands.”
I listened to him talk about it, wondering what in the world he had done. Of course, she had said that he ran off with the blonde girl, which was presumably the owner of the house, but from what he said the problem started long before that. Whatever problem it was, according to him, it wasn’t anything big. For a split second, I let the question crossover my mind of whether or not I believed that Rory may have been dramatic about what had happened, making it sound worse than what it actually was.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Her ex-nodded. “Sure. Go ahead.”
I chuckled nervously. “So, what is this little thing that you did wrong that ended up being the ultimate end to your relationship?”
He snorted shaking his head. “I kissed a girl. Just one girl. She got mad because I kissed her multiple times and in front of other people. But it was one person. So, figuring I was in trouble anyway I went ahead and slept with her and told Rory all about it. Figured she deserved it since she was being so dramatic about everything.”
My mouth hung slightly open and I blinked at him. “Wait, not only did you cheat on Rory, but then you were so cruel as to gloat about it to her?”
He took a second to process what I’d said. “What? Now you’re her bodyguard? You’re her emotional protector? You don’t know what that woman’s like. She expects a man to go against his primal urges and I just tried to show her that she knows where she belongs and she needs to step down into that place. She wouldn’t do it, so I broke up with her.”
I knew the guy was an idiot, and I knew he probably didn’t even know his ABCs, but what he just said to me, in that moment as I was standing on his porch, was that he purposely went out of his way to hurt Rory in the worst way you could hurt a woman.
At that point, all bets were off. The guy deserved a beat down. He was a disgusting individual, and I really wasn’t sure how Rory ended up with him in the first place.
I was literally about five seconds from just walking away, but he pushed me. He didn’t push me physically, but he mentally pushed me. “When girls act the way she did, they end up with men like you. Getting all emotional and unmanly. I heard about your books. You are one of them guys that thinks he’s better than everybody else. I hope I’m there to see Rory’s face when you do the same thing to her because it’s what’s supposed to be.”
I smiled and chuckled slightly,
pulling my arm back and swinging right at his face. I clocked him in the chin, and he fell backward, hitting the ground. Just as my fist connected with his skin, Rory’s cat went racing between our legs and down the street. I stood at her ex’s feet and kicked his boot for a second waiting for his response. He wasn’t quite unconscious, but he was definitely going to wake up with a sore jaw.
Deciding that I really didn’t want to deal with him when he woke up, I turned and walked away, picking up the pace as I jogged down the sidewalk, trying to find Rory’s cat. Sure, she would appreciate that I punched him in the face, but she would be really upset if she knew her cat got out and was in danger. How I messed that up, I had no idea. One minute the cat was there, the next minute he was gone.
I really hoped that one day, after my books were well received and my contracts were over that I could sit back and laugh at what happened in that small town. But with the developments of the day, I was starting to think it would affect me forever.
Chapter 14
Rory
For some reason, the day had seemed much longer than normal. Getting up was a chore, going to work was a chore, sledging through the details of the day was a chore.
Every time the bell on the front door jangled, I looked up hoping to find Christian. For some reason though, he never came in. Of course, in my infinite wisdom, it made everything that much worse. Those emotions and feelings that women get, worrying about every little thing that they had done, trying to figure out where the fault in the last meeting they had with that person was. I drove myself crazy until finally I realized that I had made the choice that I wanted to make, and if he wasn’t okay with that then good riddance.
Since Tish had been so awesome to me the day before, I gave her the night off and closed up the bakery on my own. I bundled myself up in my jacket, wrapped my scarf around my neck, and locked up the building. It was just getting dark since I kept store open only until four on Sundays. I strolled along down the street in the winter evening sunset, trying to shake my mood. I didn’t even look over at the park, something I always did when I walked home on my own.
Promise Me Forever Page 7
