by Noah Steele
“Okay.”
The last thing I saw before turning to head back to work was a bright smile spread across Derrek’s face.
I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I was all in…and it scared me.
CHAPTER FOUR
The frying pan spattered and crackled on the other side of the kitchen, eggs cooking excitedly within. I was really glad Oliver liked to cook, because all I seemed able to do since lunch with Derrek was sit with my head buried in my arms. Oliver gently patted my back as he passed me to tend to breakfast, and I lifted my heavy head.
Talking to Oliver would help. Whenever either of us had boy problems, talking it out with each other always seemed to help, and I still hadn’t told him why I had to bail on lunch so suddenly. Eggs plated and coffee poured, I slumped forward, cupping my large mug with both hands.
“I saw that guy from the bookstore again yesterday,” I said as he sat down across from me, face blank.
“Wow, I didn’t think he’d wanna see you again after you, y’know, forgot his name.” He poured himself a generous glass of orange juice and leaned back. I blinked, confused for a moment before scoffing.
“Ugh, not that guy! The one from the line during your reading. Derrek.” My voice hiccupped when I said his name. I could feel my face flush when Oliver broke into a cheeky grin. He put down his glass and crossed his arms over his trim chest.
“Don’t hate him so much after all, huh?”
“I don’t know what I’m feeling, Olly. He’s so…”
“Attractive?” he finished for me. Oliver still sat with his arms crossed, grin threatening to swallow the softness of his features. “Baaaaangable?” he said, practically singing it as my face grew hotter despite my scowl.
“Very. Very. I missed lunch with you yesterday because of him,” I said, sitting up straighter to take a sip of my coffee. Oliver’s mouth hung open and I nearly did a spit-take. “WE DIDN’T FOOL AROUND,” I screamed. His face seemed to become less tense as he picked up a fork and broke eye contact with me to poke around his plate. “He kind of surprised me at Elevensies.”
“What, like, he followed you there?”
“No. I, uh, kind of found him on Knight and sent a message a few days ago.” I picked up my own fork and stabbed at my egg yolk, letting it burst and spill across my plate. “He was picking up a take-out order and saw me at our regular booth.”
Oliver chewed impatiently, eager to speak through his breakfast. “Who are you and what have you done with the real Aiden Reed.”
We narrowed our eyes at each other across the table.
“Ha ha, best friend, you’re hilarious. I’m just taking your advice and going after a guy who isn’t so boring,” I said, picking up a piece of toast and taking a small bite. “I…I think I like him. Like…I like him like him,” I continued while still trying to chew. Oliver raised an eyebrow and sipped his own coffee.
“That’s great. Cool. You don’t even really know him, though, right?” he mumbled.
I swallowed my toast and let my mouth morph into a thin line. Oliver gripped his mug firmly with one hand, his other arm still crossed over his chest, back straight. It wasn’t the most intimidating thing—Olly was a daydreamer who didn’t really do anything rough—but I could feel the atmosphere in the room take a darker turn.
Before I could open my mouth to say anything, he stood up.
“I’m gonna be late for work, I’ll see you later,” he said quickly.
“Is there something wrong?” I asked, twisting in my chair to face him as he walked toward his bedroom. “You seem…off.” His bedroom door closed without a response. I swore I heard the heavy thud of a coffee mug being slammed down. Maybe it was better to drop it; Oliver was impossible to talk to when he got mad about something.
A loud ping brought my attention back to the breakfast table, where my phone sat displaying a new text. I thumbed my screen and opened the text to find the race details Derrek had said he’d send. I smiled despite the sinking feeling in my stomach, excited to hear from him, but less excited about the race. Oliver rushed past the kitchen toward the front door as I put my phone back down on the table. He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“He’s a good guy, Olly. We spent an hour just talking to each other over lunch yesterday. I don’t even remember the last time I talked to a guy for that long and still wanted to hear more about him,” I said in a rush as Oliver reached for the door handle.
His arm fell and he let out an audible sigh.
“Good for you, Aiden.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I said before I could stop myself.
Oliver let his bag fall from his shoulder, the laptop inside thudding against the floor. He took a few steps toward me, pointing a finger at my chest as he advanced.
“Maybe I’m finally getting tired of hearing about all these boys you can’t keep around! Maybe I’m tired of trying to find ways to agree with you when you’re the reason they don’t wanna stay,” he shouted.
My hands balled into fists at my sides and I gritted my teeth, my chest tight. Even as Oliver spoke, I could see his eyes widen at his own words, and he clapped a hand over his mouth as his body shook, his breathing still heavy.
“Oh,” I said quietly. “I didn’t know I was so hard to love. Thanks.”
“I—you’re not—fuck, that’s—I didn’t mean that,” he stuttered, still shaking.
“Sure you did,” I said, picking up my phone to leave the room. “You’ve never said a thing to me that you didn’t mean.” He didn’t move from where he stood by the door. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him wipe at his face with a sleeve.
“Just…just be careful.”
Oliver picked up his bag and was out the door faster than I had ever seen him move in our entire friendship. As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, I slumped back into a chair and loosed a deep, heavy breath, running a hand through my hair in frustration.
“Uuuggghhhh,” I garbled, picking up my phone and marching toward my bedroom.
Oliver wasn’t wrong. It was stupid to run off for a lunch date with someone who had insulted me the first time we met. Maybe I was rebounding from a really bad dry spell and wasn’t thinking clearly.
Still, that didn’t change how different it felt getting to know Derrek. The fact that I didn’t know a lot about him but already wanted him so badly sent a shock through my system.
What if I found out something I didn’t like?
What if he found out something he didn’t like?
I bit my lip as I crawled back into my bed, burying myself in the comfort of warm blankets and a lazy Saturday morning. As I lay in semi-darkness rereading Derrek’s message about the race, I felt a tug and instinctively maneuvered a hand to rub the scar that fit so neatly in the small of my back. Shaking the frown from my face, I rolled onto my side and typed a quick response.
Aiden: Will I get to see you at all after the race?
A minute had barely passed before I got a response.
Derrek: You better, I wanna know what you think!
I dropped my phone and buried my face into a pillow, smiling like a teenager over his first crush. Almost everything about my butterflies for Derrek confused me. He was rough. He was sharp. He was a stranger and a comfort all at once. On our lunch date I saw how soft he could be, how much power he could put into a kiss. It all just made me want him more, made me want to get to know the whole of him.
Oliver was overreacting.
Derrek wasn’t some sketchy guy looking for a hookup. If that’s all he wanted, he’d have tried to do more than just kiss me while we were alone—and I wasn’t looking for someone to just bang and bail. Derrek felt the same spark between us that I could feel getting bigger the more I thought about him. He wanted to see what could happen between us, too, and we both wanted it to be something special.
At least, I knew that’s what I wanted.
I picked up my phone and slouched out of bed to grab a towel from my closet and put
on my favorite Plastic Stars EP on my way to the bathroom. A cold shower to clear my mind felt like exactly what I needed. Derrek’s race was coming up, and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from going to see him again.
Especially not myself.
CHAPTER FIVE
Oliver and I didn’t speak when he got home. I fell asleep on the couch, take-out left half-eaten on the table beside me, and it was all still there when I woke up shivering. He must have stormed right past me into his bedroom.
I knocked on Oliver’s door when I woke up from my unexpected nap, but I received no response. He liked to be left alone when he got into moods like that, but I felt guilty knowing that he also felt bad about what he said.
It would have to wait.
I didn’t want to be late for Derrek’s race, so I showered and dressed as fast as I could, agonizing over the perfect ensemble. What did people even wear to watch people drive around in circles really fast? I finally settled on a comfortable pair of slim black jeans and a fitted green button-down shirt under a grey cardigan.
Oliver’s door was still closed when I left my bedroom and bee-lined for the front door, worried I was going to miss the bus.
Luckily, I caught it just before it pulled away from the stop near my condo. Motorsport Park was pretty far into the west end of the city, but an hour and a half later, after two busses and a lengthy subway ride, I was finally outside the track. Derrek had texted me instructions to find the right place once I got inside. It was a more extravagant venue than I thought, but cars and racing weren’t exactly my areas of expertise.
An information desk in the middle of the welcome center caught my eye and I rushed over while texting Derrek that I had arrived. He was probably busy doing…whatever it was drivers did to prepare for a race while their cars were being tuned up. The desk attendant, a smiling dark-haired woman, looked up at me as I approached.
“Welcome to Motorsport Park! What can I help you with?”
“I, um,” I muttered, my throat already feeling dry. “I’m here to see the race today?”
She checked her watch before turning back to face me.
“No races today. You must be here for the qualifier happening this afternoon. Whose team are you with?” Her hands were already floating over the keyboard angled to her right, ready to look me up.
“No, I’m not staff or on a team or anything. I’m here to watch the qualifier,” I said. Thankfully, my phone started buzzing in my pocket, and Derrek’s voice greeted me when I turned from the desk to answer it, mouthing a hasty apology.
“Aiden! Where are you? I came to the welcome center to meet you,” Derrek said.
“Hey,” I said before mouthing a thank you to the information desk attendant and walking back toward the main doors. “I’m at the info desk. This place is huge!”
The welcome center was getting busier, too. I must have arrived just before a huge group; the short walk from the info desk to the main doors was a minefield of bodies moving quickly in the opposite direction. I turned on the spot and kept walking slowly backwards, looking for Derrek as I went.
“Meet me at the main doors, Derrek. It’s getting—”
“Crowded in here?” Derrek finished as I stepped backwards and walked right into him. A smile spread across my face as my voice caught and I turned to hug him. He gripped me close to his body with his one free arm, the other cradling a sleek black helmet against his hip.
“You came!” he said, leaning forward to kiss me.
“Well, yeah, you invited me, didn’t you?” I said, turning to walk beside him as he led us forward through the crowd. More than once, I snuck long looks at his tight figure as we walked. His racing attire, clinging to every muscle of his body as he moved, was a sleek black and blue body suit emblazoned with the logos of several major brands—probably all of his sponsors.
People were stopping around us to pull out their phones and take photos of Derrek in his racing gear. Maybe he was more high profile than I thought. As more and more phones began popping up in the crowd, Derrek linked his arm with mine and began walking a little slower.
“Um, Derrek, I—do you—can we get out of here? This is a lot of people,” I said frantically.
He looked over to me as my eyes darted in too many different directions to count and picked up his pace.
“Sorry, I just wanted to show you off a little,” he said under his breath.
I blushed and began to walk even faster, practically dragging him through the crowd beside me. Every so often he nudged my side and pulled me in the right direction. After a few turns and some steps up, Derrek finally unlinked his arm from mine and opened the door we had stopped in front of.
“I don’t have a lot of time, but you can watch from here with my team,” he said, stepping aside to let me through.
My jaw nearly hit the floor.
“Wow,” I practically breathed as Derrek put a hand on my back and ushered me in.
The viewing box was gorgeous. There were three black leather couches facing out over the race track, and the left wall had a table that ran across its entire length, covered end-to-end with glasses, champagne, and spreads of bread with expensive cheeses whose names I couldn’t pronounce.
It was a far cry from the Derrek who shared a take-out burger from Elevensies with me.
Derrek sidled up behind me, his breath hot on my ear. He mentioned watching with his team, but we were the only people in the viewing box. I smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“We always go all out for these things to schmooze with high-profile sponsors. I may have forgotten to mention you’d be the only guest today,” he said, resting his chin uncomfortably on my shoulder. I ducked down and spun, poking a finger sharply into Derrek’s chest as he fell forward and caught himself.
“You are crazy. This is too much!” I turned toward the back of the room and leaned with my back against the wall, crossing my arms. “No, I guess it’s better to say it’s not really what I was expecting,” I said, watching Derrek as he popped a cracker with a little square of cheese on it into his mouth and grinned.
“I told you, my team is watching with you. They’re high-rollers, used to living it up with clients and potential sponsors all the time. I guess they just go all-out for themselves sometimes, too.” Derrek made his way over to me as he spoke, propping himself against the wall with one strong arm as he leaned forward and kissed me.
As our lips met, I pushed myself off the wall and wrapped my arms around Derrek’s waist. His kisses burned with a rough heat that shook my body as we moved slowly from the back wall to one of the couches away from the window. His tongue snaked its way toward mine as he clutched my shoulders, rooting me to the spot, as if afraid to let me go. His breath was hot, and as our lips met again and again, I could feel my pants getting tighter around my swelling bulge.
Derrek gripped my shoulders and pushed me down onto the cold leather of the couch, sending a shock through my body. I looked up to see a hunger in his dark eyes and his lips pulled into a grin that made my skin prickle with a foreign feeling. I barely had time to lift myself up before Derrek was on top of me, pulling off my jacket as we kissed with a fierce heat.
A soft moan escaped my mouth between our lips meeting and parting. Derrek gripped the sides of my face with tender strength. When he pulled away from me again, I snapped forward and caught him in another kiss, biting playfully on his lower lip. His eyed widened in surprise and I pulled my head back.
“S-sorry, I thought you’d be into that,” I said softly.
My heart nearly dropped into my feet when a voice by the door answered.
“Quite the show, gentlemen, but I’m afraid Derrek has a qualifier to get to,” said a woman’s voice. I could hear her trying to stifle a laugh at having walked in on us. “Who do we have joining us today?”
I shrugged my jacket back on and bolted up from the couch, turning to see a shorter woman in a very sharp black blazer and pencil skirt, her crimson blouse form-f
itting underneath. She gave me what I was sure she thought was a subtle once-over before walking in and extending a hand. Two men followed behind her, similarly dressed in black suits and ties and red shirts.
“Diana Alvarez,” she said, shaking my hand with a firm grip. “Sponsorship Coordinator. This is Brent Cline and Steven Lee, in charge of security and social media, respectively,” she continued, gesturing to the two men behind her who each shook my hand in turn.
There was a pause that went on a few seconds too long as they waited for me to introduce myself. I felt Derrek jab me forward with an elbow and I stumbled as I spoke.
“Hi! Hi,” I said awkwardly. “I’m Aiden, Derrek’s, uh—”
“Boyfriend,” Derrek interjected from behind me. I whipped my head around toward him, beating back the chill that tore through my chest at his words. His eyes darted quickly from my rapid blinking to the soft, pink circle my lips made, my mouth hanging open dumbly as everyone stared.
We hadn’t really talked about what we were to each other, and here he was introducing me as his boyfriend without another thought. He scooped a hand around my waist and led me away from the others into a corner, our heads close together.
“The faster she stops talking, the better,” he whispered, and I shook my head.
“I, um, I can pretend to be?” I said. Derrek shot me a broad smile.
“I don’t want you to pretend,” he said, his dark eyes scanning my features. I nodded sheepishly. I liked the sound of it. Derrek gave me a sly grin that I couldn’t help but return. Clearing my throat, I turned back to face Diana and her colleagues.
“I’m his boyfriend. I was invited to watch from here with you,” I said, trying to muster all the confidence I could. For such a small woman, Diana had a very intimidating presence. She gestured toward one of the men—Brent—to watch the door, while the other took a seat on the couch Derrek and I had been interrupted on, Diana joining him not long after.
