Sins of the Immortal

by Jamie McGuire

  I narrowed my eyes. “You’ve been plotting.”

  His deep laugh filled the room. “Guilty. I was thinking I’d cook? Make all your favorites?”

  I crossed my arms, ashamedly entertained at how nervous he seemed to be. I remembered the first time he smuggled in non-hospital food. A bag full of amazing sweet potato fries with all these interesting sauces that I hesitated to try until he asked me to trust him with nothing but hope in those beautiful blue-gray eyes.

  I’d hoped that was a date, but every day I wondered when he’d stop feeling sorry for me and return to his life.

  “You don’t have to do all that, Jared. Do you honestly think I’d say no?”

  His eyes lost focus for just a second before he answered. “Maybe you should.”

  My heart sank. Maybe it was the goodbye dinner I’d been dreading.

  “Not that I want you to,” he clarified. “I just uh … we’ve covered a lot of ground this month. We’ve had a lot of time to talk and get to know each other, and I … feel like it’s time.”

  “Time?”

  “For me to officially ask you on a date.”

  “This will be a date?” My heart banged against my chest so loud I was sure he could hear it.

  “Yes.” His eyes softened. “And to talk … more. So, what do you think?”

  “Jared,” I began.

  He shifted in his seat, waiting for my answer. He was undeniably beautiful, as if he’d stepped out of a Banana Republic catalog and into my life. “We’ve spent a lot of time together. You saved my life. You’ve been here every step of my recovery. We’ve no doubt bonded over the accident we were in, but…”

  He shook his head. “That’s not what this is for me, Nina.” He cleared his throat. “Is that what this is for you?”

  “No,” I said it too fast and too loud.

  He seemed desperate to relieve me of my immediate embarrassment. “You have to know I have feelings for you.”

  The butterflies in my stomach exploded like a million fireworks, the burn spreading throughout my entire body. I felt shaky and calm and on the verge of tears.

  “Whoa,” he said.

  “What?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Nothing.” He stood and kneeled next to my bed, taking my left hand in his. He stared at it for a moment, then lifted it to his lips, closing his eyes. “It’s hard to explain this because of what the accident took from you. It feels selfish to say, but the accident changed my life. It’s awful what you’ve gone through, and at the same time I couldn’t be more grateful to have been in that cab with you, and to be here with you now. The way I feel… It isn’t pity. If I feel sorry for you at all, it’s because it’s my fault you’re—”

  I pulled my hand from his grasp and shook my head slowly. “Don’t say it.” I said. “Don’t you dare. I won’t let you think that about yourself.”

  “It’s hard to explain now, but if you agree to see me tonight…” he began.

  I grabbed his hand in both of mine, squeezing. His skin was so warm, so soft, it was hard not to want to touch him all the time.

  I took in a deep breath and blew it out, suddenly overcome with emotion. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  “Yeah?” he asked, beaming.

  My smile couldn’t be contained. “Yeah.”

  He leaned over and kissed my temple, his more-than-warm lips lingering there for a few moments. “I’ll let Beth know,” he said softly into my ear. “I’ll be back in a few hours with dinner.”

  I nodded, watched him leave, and then relaxed my head against my pillows, pounding my fists against the mattress in excitement. Holy shit, I thought. I have a date with the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in real life, and he just said he has feelings for me! What?

  I texted Beth to thank her for plotting with Jared and then tapped out a list of items like a razor and my favorite perfume. I put my phone down, and then—silence. Oh, no.

  I worked on another paper, I finished homework, I polished my nails, and I still had hours before Jared’s return. He didn’t say what time, but he did say dinner and cooking, and I assumed that would be at the earliest five o’clock. That was three hours away.

  I leaned my head back and blew a strawberry through my lips. Patience was a virtue I did not possess. Amusement park lines, doctor’s appointments, college acceptance letters—all enough to drive me insane. Waiting on a date with Jared felt very much like torture.

  Beth rounded the corner holding a tote in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

  I clapped my hands twice above my head and then held my palms forward to praise Beth’s very existence. “Perfect timing!”

  “Jared texted me and said I should head on over just in case you were feeling anxious. I have everything you asked for except the blue dress.”

  “Probably a good thing. I don’t think it will go with my cast,” I said.

  “Shower first?” Beth asked.

  “We’ll need to call the nurse.”

  Beth glanced at the white board. “Misty today. Oh, I like her.”

  “Me, too.” I looked up at her. “He’s cooking.”

  She grinned from ear to ear. “I know.”

  “What else you do you know?”

  She pressed her lips together before she spoke. “That’s all. Besides he’s so into you it’s ridiculous. I could listen to him talk about you all day. Chad likes him, too. Ryan … not so much. It’s not hard to see why.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  Beth rolled her eyes.

  Ryan had visited me almost as much as Beth and Kim. We’d created our own game, talking to each other in commercial slogans, and we played cards a lot. Ryan was good to his core, but he didn’t trust Jared. “What?”

  “It bothers him that Jared shot that guy. He says it’s weird that the cops aren’t investigating. And he worries about you. He says Jared is taking advantage. We all think it’s just because he has a thing for you, and Jared is in the way.” She giggled.

  “He has a thing for me? No, he doesn’t.”

  “Oh, Nina. Really?”

  “If Jared hadn’t shot that man…”

  “I know,” Beth said, suddenly solemn. “We all know. It’s crazy how they’ve gone after your family. Does your dad deal with the mafia or something? I mean, I wasn’t going to ask, but since you brought it up…”

  “You brought it up,” I said.

  “Oh. You’re right,” she said, blinking. “But, seriously. Didn’t you say your daddy moved his security team onto your property? I’m surprised someone ain’t at your door right now. I’d be scared outta my mind.” Her Southern twang became thicker when she got excited or upset, and she was full-blown Okie at the moment.

  “Jack’s handled it, I’m sure. How are things with Chad?” I asked.

  She giggled, her whole expression resetting. “Moving along. It’s so weird that we started talking in the waiting room the night of your accident. Is trauma bonding a weird way to start dating?”

  I shrugged. “I’ll let you know.”

  “Oh! No. No way. That’s not what tonight is. That man is twitterpated.”

  “He’s what?” I asked.

  She laughed. “Didn’t you watch cartoons when you were little?”

  “Not really. My mother didn’t allow it.”

  She made a face. “Weird, my television raised me. You look nervous. Why are you nervous? You’ve been on first dates before.”

  “Not with Jared Ryel. I don’t know why he’s hanging around. He’s perfect. Do you know how many times he’s seen me wake up, my hair matted to the side of my head, probably dried drool around my mouth. God knows what he’s seen while I’ve been unconscious.”

  “Well, whatever it was, he’s falling for it pretty hard.”

  I wrinkled my nose and lowered my chin, trying to hide another obnoxious smile. “You think so?”

  “He’s here every day, Nina. Ev
ery day. He brings you fresh flowers every week. And now he’s cooking for you, all your favorites, and bringing it all here.”

  “I told him he didn’t have to,” I said, feeling my insecurities flare. “What if he has these feelings because I almost died? He says it’s not pity, but what if he…”

  “Nina?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Shut your pie hole, I have work to do.”

  I frowned. “Don’t interrupt my anxiety attack. It’s rude.”

  “Hello, hello,” Misty said as she swished into the room with her baby blue scrubs. She squirted hand sanitizer into her hands and rubbed it around in circles as she stepped closer. Her blunt-cut, chestnut hair brushed against her shoulders as she scanned the room. “I heard a rumor you have a date with the hot blond tonight.” She pushed her glasses up the subtle bridge of her button nose. “I want details.”

  “The rumors are true,” I said with a smile.

  “Well, it’s about time,” she said.

  “And that means I’ll need to shower and shave. Is Cadee busy?”

  Misty’s mouth moved to the side, and she looked at me like a puzzle to be solved. She held up a finger. “Okay. We can do this.”

  “You’re not going to get Cadee?” I asked, feeling guilty. Misty was always busy helping everyone, even patients who weren’t hers.

  “First date with Mr. Amazing. I’ve got you, boo boo.”

  Misty made herself busy in the bathroom, setting up a chair in the shower and collecting plastic to cover everything that couldn’t get wet—which was a lot.

  The three of us worked to make my shower as painless and efficient as possible, and I emerged from the shower area shaved, shampooed, and lotioned. Misty left us alone to tend to other patients, leaving Beth to the less labor-intensive things like blow out my blonde bob and do my makeup, but she came back to help with the task of getting dressed.

  “This was tricky,” Beth said. “I wanted to get something you’d feel beautiful in but that was also comfortable and easy to get on and off.”

  Misty and I both looked at her.

  “Over your cast and such,” she said.

  Misty peered over at me and smiled but kept working.

  “So,” Beth said, standing up to get a look. “The powder blue chiffon made sense. Strappy and short for a touch of sexiness, and flowy so it’s not restricting.”

  “Great choice,” I said, sitting back to rest. Even small tasks seemed to take a lot of energy.

  Beth polished my toenails and then dabbed some perfume on my neck and ankle and then stepped back to view her hard work. “Beautiful.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Prettier than a speckled pup.”

  I laughed out loud. “You’re such an Okie.”

  She bent down to kiss my cheek. “I’m ready for you to come back home. I wouldn’t rather be shacked up with any other Yankee.”

  “Soon, hopefully.”

  “Have fun.” She winked. Then, she left me alone to wait for Jared.

  It was already dark, the only sounds from the hallway were the occasional intercom call and beeping from other rooms. I didn’t have time to get nervous, because Jared rounded the corner and knocked on the door as he walked into my room.

  “Come in,” I said with a smile.

  He paused, seemingly speechless at the sight of me.

  He was wearing blue slacks and a crisp white button-down shirt, his dark blond hair was freshly cut and lightly gelled in place, and he was clean shaven.

  “You look…” He took a breath. “Wow. This doesn’t feel real. You’re stunning.”

  I felt my cheeks flush. “Thank you.” I began to sit up, but he stopped me.

  “Do you mind?” he asked, gesturing that he was going to pick me up.

  I nodded, and he gently slid one arm under my knees, the other behind my back. We were so close, his lips just inches from mine. He smelled like fresh laundry, soap, and sunshine, and he lifted me in his arms as if I weighed nothing.

  “Is this okay?” he asked.

  I nodded again. Being that close to him made my brain turn into mush. I couldn’t think of a word much less anything witty to say.

  He carried me to the wheelchair and then sat me inside of it, positioning the foot pedals.

  “It’s a short trip to where we’re going. I guess I could’ve carried you, but I thought this would be more comfortable.”

  “I’m not sure you thought that through,” I said, purposefully not checking for his reaction. I couldn’t help it; the wheelchair was a significant let down after being in his arms.

  He chuckled, then stood behind me, backing me out of the room and then pushing me down the hall. We passed a half dozen rooms, the nurses and nursing aides smiling at me brightly as we passed the nurses’ station. Then, Jared turned into what looked like a breakroom.

  Tall candles burned in the darkness, and my heart began to pound in my chest.

  Jared switched on the light, and a lone, round table sat in the center of the room, covered in a white tablecloth, the centerpiece a clear vase holding pink and white tulips.

  I looked up at him. “Those are my favorites.”

  “I know,” he said, putting the chair’s wheels in park before lifting me into his arms again.

  He sat me at the table in a padded chair. The place setting in front of me was made up of white plates, rose gold silverware, and a stemmed wine glass.

  “Did you do all this?”

  “My sister helped.”

  “Claire?” I asked.

  I’d only seen her once and for less than a minute. She came in to speak with Jared because he hadn’t been answering his phone, and she’d taken him out into the hall.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Oh?” he prodded, a knowing grin on his face.

  “I didn’t think she liked me.”

  Jared went to the counter against the wall on my left and then brought an oval plate with a steaming pot roast bathing in au jus.

  My mouth fell open, and then I closed it to take a deep whiff. “Oh my God. I was just taken back to my childhood.”

  He nodded. “It’s my mother’s recipe.”

  He turned and brought more dishes. Roasted butternut squash with parsnips, sweet potatoes, and shallots, made-from-scratch dinner rolls, and a twice-baked truffle potato.

  “Jared…” I said, pausing. We’d spent a lot of time talking and getting to know one another, but I wasn’t convinced I’d told him how to prepare every one of my favorite dishes.

  “Save room,” he said. “There’s an Angel food cake for dessert.”

  “I told you all of this?” I asked, looking over the food with bewilderment.

  “Not exactly. But it will all make sense soon, I promise.”

  I nodded, watching him load my plate with food. He sat before me, and we dug in. There was no shame in my intermittent moans of satisfaction. He’d made everything perfectly, and the smells floating about the room made me feel like a girl sitting in Lillian Ryel’s kitchen again. She was the wife of my father’s head of security and…

  I looked up at Jared, mid-bite. “I know this recipe. Your mother’s recipe. I’ve had it so many times. You were at the bus stop. Your family had just moved in.”

  Jared nodded, but I could see the panic in his eyes. He held up his hands. “I was hoping we could discuss it all tonight. There’s a lot of information, and it didn’t feel right to dump it all on you while you were still healing.”

  I’d asked him his last name before. Somehow, we’d always gotten off on another subject. I didn’t even notice until I realized the next time that I still didn’t know his last name. “You’re Jared Ryel? Gabe’s oldest son?”

  Jared nodded slowly.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me at the bus stop?”

  “It’s … complicated.”

  “Because of my father?” I asked.

  “I’d hoped to get into th
is a little later in the evening.”

  “Well, we’re here now. What does this have to do with my father?”

  “He’s part of it, but there’s more. And I need to tell you before we … before this goes further. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  “What I’m getting myself into?” I set my fork down. “Tell me everything.”

  Jared lowered his chin. “You’re not going to like it.”

  I felt tears burn my eyes. “There are few things—when it comes to my father—that I like these days.”

  So, I listened. To Jared’s childhood, about his training, Claire and his baby brother Bex’s training, and how Jared had been assigned to me. That’s when he paused, waiting, watching for my reaction.

  “So, you’re saying you’ve been … watching me.”

  “Yes.”

  “Before the bus stop. For a while now.”

  He winced, closing one eye. “Yes.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said, processing the last bit. “If my father didn’t want you anywhere near me, why did he assign you to protect me?”

  Jared sighed. “Because he knew no one could protect you like I can.”

  “And why does my father know that.”

  He inhaled and nodded, preparing for something. He exhaled, then. “There are layers to this, Nina. And I feel like… I’d like to tell you in a way that will be easiest for you to digest.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn’t sure what or who to trust anymore. Mostly I just wanted my legs to work so I could get up and leave.

  “Remember,” he began quickly, seeming to read my thoughts, “when I brought those sweet potato fries with all the sauces, and you thought I was nuts?”

  “Vividly.”

  “I asked you to trust me.”

  “Apples and oranges, Jared. I’m not trying a new food.”

  “It comes down to trust. I’m about to tell you something that will be hard to hear. That may even seem impossible. I just need you to trust me.”

  “Trust you,” I said. I twisted my father’s gift to me around my finger while staring into Jared’s blue-gray eyes, knowing now why his face had seemed so familiar. Those same irises that I’d gotten lost in more than once while I healed were begging me to have faith in him.