by Jewel E. Ann
Something new.
Something intimate.
Something a little forbidden.
With my heartbeat tripping over itself, looking for a normal rhythm, I started to turn toward him. He gripped my legs tighter and rested his forehead on my lower back.
“Don’t.” He sighed. “Just …” He blew out another harsh breath, and I felt his forehead rolling side to side against my back. “Fuck … we … can’t.” He pulled up my panties and shorts. “Rory’s coming home soon.” He stood behind me and kissed the top of my head. “I’m going to get dressed. Go put on jeans. We should head to my parents’ house now.”
Chapter Fifteen
“My hair is going to be a mess.” I tugged off my helmet after he pulled into his parents’ gravel drive in Coal Creek Canyon. They lived in an A-frame house shrouded in pine trees with not a neighbor in sight.
He took my helmet and my jacket as I ran my fingers through my hair. After a few seconds, I glanced up at Fisher smiling at me with a hint of something in his eyes.
“What?”
He shook his head. “You’re killing me.”
“Why?” I continued to comb out my hair.
“Because I want to do very naughty things to you right now, but little kids are staring out the window at us, so I have to keep my hands to myself. And it’s really fucking hard.”
I paused my hands.
“Stop blushing,” he said. “They can see you.”
I talked through gritted teeth and a fake smile. “I can’t exactly control it when you say things like that to me. Why? Why did you say it?”
He glanced at the window and the peering eyes for a second before turning toward me. “Because for forty-five minutes, you’ve been wrapped around me, and I now know what your face looks like when you come, so it’s all I thought about.”
It thrilled me to know it wasn’t just me. That he wasn’t as cool and collected as I thought. Fisher was far from unaffected by me.
Where was the switch? In one week, we were going to have to turn off the switch to us.
“Thank you,” I whispered, glancing down at my feet.
He laughed. “For what?”
“For being strong for me.”
“What are you talking about?”
I glanced up, giving the window crowd the quickest of glances. Aching to take the two steps between us and wrap my arms around him. “I wouldn’t have stopped you, had you asked me. And then in the kitchen … I wanted … more.” I shrugged one shoulder while pressing my lips together to hide my guilty grin.
Recognition flitted across his face. His smile died, turning into something more somber. “Don’t thank me. It wasn’t easy. And I can’t promise to always be that strong.”
Clearing my throat, I changed the topic. “We should go inside before your family suspects there’s something going on between us.”
“We don’t have to worry about that. There’s no way they’d suspect that.” He turned and headed toward the house.
“Wow. That’s a bit harsh.” I jogged to catch up to him.
“TGIF!” A woman, I assumed his mom, opened the door. I was never part of a family that got that excited over Friday. I may have been a little envious in that moment.
“Hey, Mom. This is Reese. Reese, this is my mom, Laurie.”
“Hi, Reese. So glad you decided to join us. Come on in. There’s food and drinks out back.”
“Thank you so much.” I followed Laurie and Fisher through an open great room. Three young kids hopped down from the sofa where they’d been spying on us. We passed the kitchen to a sunporch and door to a covered deck where everyone else congregated.
I wanted Fisher to take my hand or put his arm around me. I felt naked in front of these strangers without some physical connection, a grounding of sorts.
“Hey!” The greeting from everyone on the deck was just as exuberant as Laurie’s.
“Hey.” Fisher turned, waiting for me to stop hiding behind him. “Everyone, this is Reese, Rory’s daughter. Rory is my tenant, for anyone who hasn’t met her. Reese is also working for me this summer. Reese, this is the crew. Pat, Shayla, Teena, Arnie … blah blah blah … let them introduce themselves. And don’t ask me to remember the names of the rug rats running around here.”
“Oh stop.” Laurie shook her head. “He knows everyone’s name. Grab a drink, Hun, there’s a cooler with pop and water and another cooler with beer and wine. We have burgers and brats on the grill.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at Laurie and looked around for Fisher. He was already down the stairs, playing a bean bag game with the kids.
Sink or swim for me.
“Beer? Wine?” The woman I believe he nodded to as Shayla, held open a cooler for me.
Did I look older, or did they not care?
“Actually, I’ll just have some water for now.”
“No problem.” She opened the other cooler and handed me a bottle of water. “So … I’m Shayla. Sorry Fisher is so clueless when it comes to manners. I’m his big sister. And Teena … chasing the girl in just a diaper down there is his other big sister. Our dad, Pat, is manning the grill.”
“I sure am,” Pat said while lifting the lid.
“My husband Darren couldn’t make it, but Ryan…” she ruffled a blond guy’s hair as he sipped his beer “…is here, and he’s Teena’s husband.”
“Don’t forget your other brother,” Laurie said as she collapsed into a padded chair that rocked and swiveled.
“Oh, yes …” Shayla rolled her eyes. “Arnie is the baby of the family. He’s the one with dark hair and ridiculous blond tips and … a crazy number of tattoos on his arms and legs.”
“I can hear you,” Arnie called from the opposite side of the bean bag game as Fisher.
I giggled at his response. “The baby, huh? How old is he?”
“Twenty-two, but he doesn’t act a day over five.”
“Still hearing you,” he yelled, tossing a bean bag with one hand while holding a beer in his other hand.
“So, are you in college?” Laurie asked.
“No. I’m not ruling it out someday, but for now I’m just working and getting reacquainted with my mom.”
“Oh? Have you been separated from her? Divorce?”
I nodded. “Yes. Divorce. And my dad died three years ago. And …” I drew in a deep breath. “My mom sorta just got out of prison.”
“Oh … wow. That’s good. Or bad.” Laurie cringed. “Good that’s she’s out. Bad that she went. Just … ignore me.” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead.
“It’s fine. I’ve had to learn to just own it as part of my life. It’s still awkward, but maybe now that she’s out, I can eventually stop feeling the need to mention it.”
“Champions!” One of the young boys yelled, high-fiving Fisher.
Arnie climbed the stairs, shaking his head. “Cheaters. They’re all cheaters.”
Arnie was basically a slightly smaller version of Fisher, but with tattoos, wilder hair, and a piercing through his nose. Fisher would have looked better in tattoos because he had more defined muscles, but Arnie had a boyish grin and his own level of sexy, bad-boy appeal.
“My brother’s been holding out on me,” Arnie said while easing into the chair next to me.
“Stop it.” Shayla rolled her eyes. “I’m fairly certain Fisher didn’t bring Reese here for you to hit on her.”
“What?” He smirked. “I’m not hitting on you, Reese.”
I laughed a little.
“Unless you want me to hit on you, then I’m totally hitting on you.”
“Arnie …” Laurie eyed him with a motherly warning.
“Kidding.” He winked at me (just like Fisher) before taking a long pull of his beer.
“Are you in the construction business too?” I asked.
Arnie shook his head while rubbing his wet lips together. “No. I’m in a band.”
“A band?” I couldn’t hide my surprise. “Seriously?”
“Fisher never mentioned his brother is a famous rock star?” Arnie acted offended.
“You’re not famous.” Shayla had to give her verbal jab.
“Fisher and that hot doctor came to a concert last week. That’s how proud he is of me.”
Teagan. He took Teagan to see his brother perform. Yet he hadn’t mentioned anything to me about it being his brother’s band.
“Food’s ready,” Pat called.
Arnie stood. “Ladies first.”
I couldn’t hide my smile as he held out his hand to me. So I took it and stood.
“I perform again tomorrow night. You should come. I know the lead singer.” He gave me the most confident grin. “Front row seating.”
“Rory’s not going to be okay with you hitting on her daughter.”
I glanced back, not noticing that Fisher had gotten in the food line behind us.
“Rory loves me. She’ll be thrilled to know that I’m inviting her daughter to one of my concerts. I’ll text her just to make sure.” Arnie pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“Put your phone away, dickhead.” Fisher playfully grabbed the back of Arnie’s neck and squeezed it.
Arnie wriggled out of his hold. “You and that doctor should come and bring Reese with you. We can grab food and drinks after. A double date with my big bro.”
“Now that actually sounds like a good idea.” Teena butted in on the conversation while wrangling her toddler on the way up the deck stairs.
I didn’t look at anyone, just my feet because they couldn’t tell how uncomfortable I was caught in the middle.
“Teagan and I aren’t dating anymore.”
“Dude, that was short-lived. She was effin’ amazing. What did you do?”
“What makes you think I did anything?”
“Just a hunch.” Arnie continued to prod Fisher.
“Angie’s in town for the summer. You have to call her, Fisher.” Shayla took a seat with her plate of food as I smiled at Pat when he handed me a plate and nodded to the choices of meat next to a dozen different salads and bags of chips.
“Angie’s here?” Arnie and Laurie said at the same time.
“Fisher, call that woman, right now. You know I’ve imagined you two getting married ever since you were six years old.” Laurie accidentally stomped all over my heart.
“Angie’s in town. It’s a sign, Bro.” Arnie filled his plate behind me. “Bring Angie and Reese tomorrow night. Don’t even try to make up some excuse. It’s Angie. You’re totally in, right Reese?”
Feeling zero hunger by then, I returned a tight smile to Arnie and nodded slowly. What else was I supposed to do?
“It’s official … almost.” Arnie set his plate on the railing and plucked Fisher’s phone from his pocket.
“What the f—” Fisher held his tongue with the kids around. Then, he stomped down the deck stairs after Arnie.
“Ha! I knew it. Same predictable code and …” He ran from Fisher. “You still have her number!” A few seconds later, Arnie slowed and held out one hand, signaling Fisher to stop as he used his other hand to hold the phone to his ear.
I couldn’t hear him, but I could see him talking while Fisher rested one hand on his hip and hung his head.
“It’s on!” Arnie tossed Fisher’s phone to him and strutted back toward the house.
If I read Fisher’s lips correctly, he called Arnie a “stupid fucker.”
“You’ll love Angie,” Shayla said as I sat next to her. “The love of Fisher’s life since grade school. He’s been too stupid to just marry her, so she’s now living in California. She comes back here a lot because her mom is disabled and her dad passed away several years ago.”
Just great …
Eighteen-year-old me, with no real-life goals, had known Fisher for just over three weeks, and I was supposed to compete with “the love of his life?”
“Why did she move to California?” I asked despite my better judgment.
“Aside from Fisher not proposing?” Teena sat in the chair across from me after Ryan took the squirming toddler. “She’s a biologist. Wicked smart.”
I had to give Fisher credit; he knew how to attract smart, successful women—until me. Well, I was smart, but how much success could I have claimed at eighteen, even if I had enrolled in college courses?
“Take my seat, Fisher. I have to check on Isaac.” Shayla vacated her spot.
Fisher sat next to me with his plate of food and a beer. I force-fed myself, chewing slowly, swallowing hard, and keeping my head down. That day, being eighteen sucked. I hadn’t grown out of my foolish heart. It wasn’t enough for me. Fisher’s attraction to me wasn’t enough. I wanted his heart to be mine and only mine. But maybe that wasn’t how his brain or his heart functioned.
“Fisher, did you bid on that job in Aurora?” Pat asked as he removed his apron and sat down to eat.
Their conversation lasted for a long time. Enough time for me to eat as much as I could and not look like I was tossing half of my food in the trash. When I did take my plate into the kitchen, I also looked for a bathroom—an escape.
“Oh, hey … I was looking for the restroom,” I said to Shayla when she startled me as I turned the corner from the kitchen to the small hallway.
“Isaac is using the restroom. He could be awhile.” She grimaced. “There’s one downstairs.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I pivoted and headed downstairs. Nobody was in the basement filled with furniture, a big TV like the one in Fisher’s basement, a ping-pong table, a wood burning stove, and many collages of photos on the wall. I inspected the photos, smiling at young Fisher and his family that I envied so much.
“I wondered where you went. I was afraid you forgot there are bears and rattlesnakes.”
I glanced back at Fisher. “I was looking for the bathroom, but I got sidetracked with all of your family photos.”
He nodded, looking at me, not the photos. “About tomorrow night—”
“It’s fine, Fisher.” That lie made my chest hurt, but it wasn’t a pain I could show him. “Your family clearly adores Angie. And you must too. And Arnie seems really excited about the four of us going out.” I shrugged. “I have no other plans, so … why not?”
“It’s not a date.”
Turning back toward the photos, I dug deep for a little more confidence. “It’s fine if it is. Rory comes home next week. You said it yourself. Your parents would never believe you were … interested in me. And now I know why.”
“You don’t.”
“No? Well, it doesn’t matter.”
“No. It doesn’t.” He took ahold of my wrist and pulled me into a dark bedroom, closing the door behind us and flipping on the light.
I waited for Fisher to say whatever it was he needed to say. He didn’t say anything for many seconds, maybe a minute or more. It was just silence and the anguish on his face. Finally, he scrubbed his hands over his face and blew out a long breath.
“We don’t have to wait any longer,” I filled the silence with whatever I thought might make him a little less stressed because he seemed so stressed out. “It can be over now. Maybe it’s stupid to act like one more week matters. Maybe I shouldn’t have been in your bathtub that night. Maybe hiding from everyone is more trouble than it’s worth. And now this Angie person is back, and that would suck for you to miss out on an opportunity because we decided to do…” I shrugged “…whatever for one more week.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You want it to end? Now?”
“Yes.”
Gah! Stupid, untimely tears rushed to my eyes.
“Liar.”
Clenching my jaw to lock down all emotions on the verge of breaking the dam, I shook my head.
He cocked his head to the side and pressed his hand to my face, brushing his thumb across my cheek to the corner of my eye, giving it just enough pressure to release one tear and then another. “Let’s go,” he whispered.
“Where?” I sucked in a shaky breath as my str
ength wavered.
“Home. Rory comes home soon. And I don’t want to share you with anyone else tonight.”
“F-Fisher …” I sniffled. “You can’t have my heart.”
He smiled and nodded several times while bending down to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I know … I’ll add it to the list.”
Kiss.
“What list?”
He opened the door and shut off the light. “The parts of Reese Capshaw that I can’t have.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but I had nothing. Not one thing.
“We’re taking off,” Fisher announced as we stepped onto the deck.
“Already? I made pie and there’s ice cream.” Laurie looked a little surprised.
“Reese has a tummy ache. Maybe one of the salads sat in the sun too long.”
What the heck!
I had to have looked just as surprised … and mortified.
“Oh dear! I’m so sorry.” Laurie pressed her hand to her chest.
A string of “that’s too bads” and “feel betters” followed from everyone else.
“Take an antacid…” Arnie made a drinking motion with his hand “…and you’ll be good for tomorrow night.”
Fisher ignored him, and I … well, I ignored everyone because I still hadn’t fully processed what just happened.
“Well, thanks. Goodnight,” Fisher said, resting his hand on my back in the platonic region to guide me to the front door.
As soon as he closed the door behind us, I spun around. “Are you kidding me? Did you really just tell your whole family that I have a tummy ache? What am I? Five?”
He shrugged, shouldering past me to the driveway. “Kids were around. I couldn’t say you had the shits.”
“Fisher! Why did you do that?”
“Because we needed an excuse to leave.” He handed me my helmet.
“Why didn’t you tell them you have a tummy ache? Why embarrass me like that?”
He fastened his helmet and grinned. “I haven’t had so much as a sniffle for years. I’m kind of a freak of nature like that. They never would have believed it had I said it was me.”
“Well … well … maybe I haven’t been sick in years. Did you even think about that? Maybe I’m a freak of nature.”
