by Elin Wyn
“You mean like in a personal way?” Leena asked.
“Yes,” I clarified. “Friendship is built on trust and respect. If I don’t trust him to respect me, then we can’t be friends.”
“I suppose you have your answer, then.” Leena gave me a sympathetic look.
“I guess so.” A frown tugged at the corners of my mouth.
Rokul and I were on our way to becoming more than friends, but that wasn’t something I wanted to share with Leena. Especially now.
“Don’t take it so hard,” Leena smiled encouragingly. “Friendships are full of pitfalls. Let’s talk about our new assignment to take your mind off it.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said gratefully. “Any thoughts?”
“I liked your idea of a neutralizer,” Leena said.
“I said something about a neutralizer?” I asked, brow furrowed.
“Yes. Rouhr asked you for alternate suggestions and that’s what you said,” Leena explained.
“I was so pissed off, I didn’t realize I even said anything,” I replied.
“Wow,” Leena chuckled. “Maybe you should work on that.”
“Excuse me,” I laughed. “You were the angriest, most unpleasant person in our lab at the university.”
“Exactly! I know what I’m talking about. Take my advice,” she replied.
“Good point,” I nodded.
“If you thought I was so angry and unpleasant, why did you talk to me?” Leena asked.
“Because you were the least insufferable person there,” I replied honestly.
“That’s why I talked to you, too,” Leena replied. “I still always thought you were some stuck -up goody-goody. Looks like I was mistaken. You’ve got some bite to you.”
Back then, I had been a goody-goody. I didn’t want to tell Leena that losing my parents and sister was what put this bite in me.
I didn’t want her to look at me with pity.
“You okay?” Leena asked. I blinked, snapping myself back to the here and now. Though my attention returned to Leena, my heart continued to ache with a familiar pain that would never fully go away.
“Yeah,” I said a little too brightly. “I think a neutralizer is the right way to go.”
“So do I. That leaves us with two possible options. We can create something that will simply render the creature in question unconscious, or we can create something that will specifically target the invasive vines,” Leena explained.
“Considering we only have three days, I think we should focus on making a simple tranquilizer,” I decided. “Once General Rouhr allows us more time, we can come up with something that will harm the invasive vines, but not the host creature.”
“Makes sense,” Leena nodded. “I can make the tranquilizer if you tell me what to put in it.”
“That’s where it gets a little tricky,” I said. “I’ve seen those vines inside two separate species of plant. I’ve never tried to tranq a sorvuc or a kodanos. I don’t know if a tranquilizer that works on one will work on the other. Also, I don’t know how many other sentient plant species are susceptible to the invasive vines or if non-sentient plants are at risk, too.”
“Let’s focus on the sentient plants first,” Leena suggested. “Sorvuc are the only species of sentient plant that we know those vines invaded for the purpose of harming a human settlement.”
“Right,” I nodded. “Ideally, I’d like to develop a way to extract the vines from the unconscious sorvuc without harming it.”
“One step at a time,” Leena cautioned. “We’ll worry about that once we make a decent tranquilizer. I assume you’ll have no problem going out into the field to test these yourself?”
“Not at all,” I almost smiled, but not quite. Yes, I was anxious to get back in the field where I didn’t have to think about anything other than completing the job I’d been given.
The catch was, General Rouhr wouldn’t let me go out into the field alone, and I’d already made such a fuss over only wanting Rokul to be my guard.
Rokul was the last person I wanted to be out in the field with right now. Thinking about him made me feel angry all over again.
This time, I wasn’t angry about what Rokul had said during the meeting, but that I’d allowed him to take up so much space in my head in the first place.
“Hello?” Leena exclaimed. Her elevated voice made me flinch.
“What?” I asked.
“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” Leena asked with a knowing smile.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I’m having trouble focusing.”
“Obviously,” Leena rolled her eyes.
“What were you saying?” I asked.
“I think you should take the rest of the day off,” she urged. “I can put together a few basic, pesticide-based neutralizers without you. You can come in tomorrow and tweak them.”
I almost insisted that I was fine to work, but a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over me. I realized that I’d been going nonstop since before I arrived in Rigkon.
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that,” I nodded. Leena looked relieved.
“Good,” she smiled. “I don’t have time to repeat myself over and over.” I laughed dryly.
“I’ll be in tomorrow morning,” I informed her.
“I’ll have something for you to work with by then,” Leena assured me.
I kept my head down as I walked out of the lab. The last thing I wanted was to run into Rokul. Luckily, I made it out of the building without anyone taking notice.
The Blooming Bud, where I rented my room, was a short walk from General Rouhr’s building. I felt tempted to stop by Dr. Hines’s lab and do some of the mind-numbing work I’d been hired to do. If I did that, I could go to bed tonight feeling like I’d done something productive.
Instead, I walked into the first tavern I spotted.
Rokul
“Rokul!” Takar snapped his fingers in front of my face. I flinched and, purely out of instinct, lifted one arm into a defensive position, the other fist pulled back to throw.
“What?” I snapped at my brother.
“You’ve been scowling at the table for the last ten minutes. Are you going to help me with this or not?” Takar gestured to the table full of weapons we needed to clean that day.
“If by help you mean redo everything you do wrong, then yes.” I picked up a standard issue blaster and dismantled it for proper cleaning.
“You wouldn’t know how to clean anything if it weren’t for me,” Takar scoffed. “In fact, you wouldn’t know how to enable passive mode on your blaster if it weren’t for me.”
“I still don’t understand why anyone needs a passive mode. If you’re carrying a blaster, I assume you’re planning on using it,” I replied.
“Some don’t fancy the idea of a blaster going off in their supply pack,” Takar said.
“Why would someone carry a blaster in a supply pack?” I wondered.
“Why would someone glare at a wall instead of apologizing to the human female they angered?” Takar replied.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You attacked her credibility in front of everyone,” Takar continued as if I hadn’t said anything.
“That wasn’t my intention.” I dropped the act. I knew I couldn’t lie to Takar. He knew me too well. “I simply felt like she wasn’t looking at our situation from a military perspective.”
“Why do you think General Rouhr brought her in?” Takar asked.
“To acquire information about the creature in the desert,” I replied.
“Which is exactly what she did,” Takar continued. “If General Rouhr wanted to approach this problem from only a military point of view, we would’ve dropped grenades on that thing by now.”
“I still don’t understand why we haven’t done exactly that,” I said.
“Tella explained it to us. Annie Parker explained it to us. If you still don’t understand, then I suggest you locate Tella and ask her t
o explain it to you again. And apologize while you’re at it,” Takar replied.
“You’re right,” I sighed. “I still think my plan makes more sense, however, I shouldn’t have undermined her in front of everyone. I’m going to go find her.”
“You’re not leaving me with all the work,” Takar said sternly. I looked at the tableful of weapons. At this rate, I wouldn’t be out of here until after sundown. Maybe it was better that way. It would allow Tella some time to calm down.
“Fine,” I nodded and returned to the blaster I’d begun to clean. I burned through exactly half of the weapons on the table in record time. If I hurried, I could still catch Tella in the lab before she left for the day.
“I’ve done half. I’d say that’s fair,” I said to Takar.
“I watched you rush through them. They’ll need to be rechecked.” Takar gave me a disapproving stare.
“I really need to make things right with Tella and I can’t stay,” I said. “I’ll owe you.” Takar considered my offer for a few moments.
“Do all of my reports for the rest of the week,” Takar said.
“Deal.” I hurried out of the armory and didn’t stop until I reached the lab. I was relieved to see there was still a light on inside.
“Tella,” I called as I pushed my way into the lab.
“Nope,” Leena said without looking up from her station. “She took an early day.”
“Oh,” I frowned. “Is she all right?”
“She’s pissed at you,” Leena smirked. I considered Leena a friend more so than I did the other human women. I enjoyed her dry sense of humor and her straightforward way of thinking. I could always count on the truth from Leena.
Including right now.
“What should I do?” I asked.
“Isn’t that obvious?” She looked up from her workstation, one eyebrow raised.
“I’m already planning on apologizing,” I assured her. “But I’d like to know the best way to do that.”
“Admit you were acting like a narrow-minded idiot?” Leena suggested.
“If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it,” I replied.
“You really like her, don’t you?” Leena gave me a knowing look.
“Is it that obvious?” I asked.
“You’re willing to set your dignity aside to ensure her forgiveness. No offense, but that’s not exactly in character for you,” Leena replied.
“No offense taken,” I said. “Did Tella go back to the room she’s renting?”
“That’s what I told her to do,” Leena said. “I wouldn’t bother her at home, though. She needs time to decompress.”
“You’re probably right,” I admitted. “I’ll find her tomorrow. I should think about what I’m going to say in advance.”
“That would be a first,” Leena snorted.
I left the lab disappointed and made my way back to the armory. Takar was hard at work recleaning all of the weapons.
“I take it back,” I said when I entered. “Tella wasn’t there. I’ll help you finish up.”
“No need,” Takar replied. “I’d rather have you doing my reports for the week than help me finish this.”
“You’re joking.”
“Not at all,” Takar replied. “I’m enjoying the peace that comes with maintaining the weapons.”
“Right,” I said slowly. Sometimes I couldn’t believe Takar and I were related.
“This is the part where you leave me in peace,” Takar urged.
“If that’s what you want. Enjoy your peace.”
With nothing else to do, I decided I might as well head back to my place. I walked slowly, thinking about Tella and everything I wanted to say to her. I didn’t pick up my pace even as it began to rain. I couldn’t remember the last time it had rained here. I enjoyed the feeling of wet droplets on my skin.
As I walked, a warm-looking tavern caught my eye. At that moment, I realized I wanted nothing more than a drink. I entered the tavern, pausing in the doorway to wipe the grime of the city off the soles of my boots. I looked around the tavern. I wasn’t surprised to see that it was mostly empty.
A few people sat at the bar, chatting amiably. A single woman sat at a booth. A woman I knew.
Tella sat with her head dipped. She had one drink in front of her but it looked like she had yet to take a sip. As she sat, unaware that she was being watched, I got a glimpse of her face.
She looked worn down. Her shoulders were hunched. I could see the dark circles under her eyes from here.
It hit me like a fist. I’d done that. I was supposed to protect her. Keep her safe.
And I’d done this, instead.
I walked over to her booth.
“Is that seat taken?” I asked quietly.
Tella jumped slightly and looked up. Her expression hardened, but she jerked her chin, indicating that I was allowed to take a seat. I slid into the booth across from her.
“I’d like to apologize,” I said quickly. Tella lifted her brows in surprise but didn’t say anything. “I shouldn’t have challenged your expertise in front of everyone.”
“That isn’t why I’m upset,” Tella said. “I don’t care that it was in front of everyone. I’m upset because, despite my experience, you felt that you knew better than me. I felt incredibly disrespected. I can’t be friends, or more than friends, with someone who doesn’t respect me.”
“I don’t think you realize how much respect I have for you,” I said. “I’ve never met anyone, human, alien, male or female, who can keep up with me the way you can. In fact, when I first met you, I found myself keeping up with you.”
“Then why did you treat me like I didn’t know what I was talking about?” Tella asked.
“I get too caught up in finding fast solutions,” I explained. “Takar tells me all the time that I don’t stop to consider consequences enough. He’s right.”
“Your plan wasn’t completely ridiculous,” Tella offered. “In a more stable environment, I would’ve agreed with your plan.”
“But it’s not a stable environment. You and Annie have both told us that before. The Skota Capulus is an almost unshakeable environment. It’s mostly red-rock desert,” I continued. “It’s difficult for me to conceptualize an environmental collapse since I’ve never lived on a planet where that’s a possibility until now.”
“You’ve never mentioned your homeworld before.” Tella tipped her head to one side.
Her eyes looked into mine and there was a shift inside me. I swallowed.
“None of us like to talk about our homeworlds,” I admitted. “We’re all still coming to terms with the fact that we might never see them again.”
Tella bit her bottom lip.
“I never thought about that,” she said quietly. “Should I not ask about it?” She tilted her head again.
I had the urge to touch her face in that moment.
“It’s okay,” I smiled, hoping warmth crept into my voice. “Takar and I are lucky. We have each other. No one else has had contact with any of their family members since we fell through the rift.”
“You are lucky,” Tella said. “I lost my entire family during the Xathi invasion.”
I felt my heart drop.
“I’m so sorry.” I reached across the table and laid my hand atop hers. She didn’t pull away. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but a lot of things about her started to make sense.
“It’s fine,” she said quietly.
“No, it isn’t. Nothing the Xathi did to us is fine,” I replied.
Tella stared at the table, discomfort radiating from her small body.
Desperate to keep her from shutting down on me when I was feeling closer to her, I came up with a plan.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I already have one,” Tella replied with a faint smile. Her eyes twinkled at me and I knew not all hope was lost.
“How about dinner, then?” I offered. I smiled widely at her.
She lifted her head and looked me ove
r.
“Dinner?”
“Dinner.”
I watched her suck in her lower lip and meet my gaze again.
I wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but she must’ve found it.
“Yes, I’ll have dinner with you,” she agreed.
My heart rose anew. Tella was a woman like no other. I laced my fingers with hers.
“I know our past is dark,” I started, then caught myself. Serious conversation wasn’t exactly what I was known for. But I couldn’t exactly ask Takar for help on this. “But my future is brighter with you in it, Tella.” I let myself taste her name as I said it.
She smiled, just a tiny bit, just enough to make my heart leap in my chest as she leaned closer to me. “And so is mine with you, Rokul.” Her cheeks flushed.
I liked having that effect on her.
Tella
I was nervous at first. I didn’t know how to act around Rokul without having work as a buffer. I’d really have preferred to be in the field, with something trying to kill us.
Instead, we just talked.
Not about his homeworld or my family at all, which I was fine with. Now that he knew, I expected him to give me that certain look I hated. He did, but only for a moment. He understood that pity wasn’t helpful.
He told me about some of the ridiculous things he’d done during his impressive military career. Those stories usually ended in Rokul’s brother stepping in before Rokul ended up dead.
“Next time I see your brother, I’m going to offer him my condolences,” I joked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rokul laughed.
“It means you’ve probably taken thirty years off his life,” I replied.
“Impossible. He was born an old Skotan,” he chuckled. “Besides, I think he likes swooping in and being the voice of reason. It makes him feel smart.”
“You don’t like feeling smart?” I asked.
“I’m not stupid, it’s just that I think it makes more sense to be effective than worry about coming off as super-intelligent,” he explained. “I like knowing that I’ve done my job and made a difference.”
