Jim turned to face her now.
“Do you see what I’m trying to say? He feels such guilt and such a burden to keep us all safe. Ed’s capture is weighing so heavily on him, that he is devoting all his time, thoughts, and energy to his mission. Right now, that mission is Ed.”
“He also did the same thing for you, at the store,” he said, his fingers tightening spasmodically on her waist. “We both did.”
“I know. I can’t talk about that. No yet. But as far as Ed goes, that’s what I thought.”
They sat on a bench right off the path. The oaks swayed nearby in the gentle, hot breeze. The shade was heavenly after the beating, hot sun.
“Does this have anything to do with your first marriage?” Jim asked, looking out over the placid lake. “What happened with that?”
“My first husband, Mike, was a lawyer. We’d been married six years when I walked into his office one day and caught him bending his secretary over his desk. He’d stopped coming home early, and he stopped wanting sex. He didn’t listen when I talked, and we didn’t spend any time together anymore. I filed for divorce. The zombies showed up two weeks later.”
“What a fucking douchebag,” Jim said. “Any man would be lucky to have you, and to throw it away like that…” He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I could never do something like that to someone I loved.”
“I don’t think he loved me anymore,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but he’s still a cheating fuck. He should have talked to you about it first, asked for a divorce before he did that shit. He should have had some fucking honor.”
Jim sounded really pissed off on her behalf.
During her marriage and after, she hadn’t had many friends, and no real best friends. She’d had nobody to offer her encouragement or support, and she had nobody to help keep her from being too lonely. Jim’s support meant the world to her.
“I feel like such a bad person, but I feel like this mission is pulling Cam so far away from me. From us. I just want a little of him back. It hurts when he looks at me, and I know that he is looking right through me and thinking of something else. And you know that we haven’t been together since you guys got back from Ed’s house. It’s just bringing up all the bad memories, and it’s a little triggering for me, I guess.”
Jim sighed and put a hand to the back of her neck, squeezing gently. She leaned her head on his shoulder, stifling her tears and the need to talk about it even more. She felt like a broken record.
“You’ll just have to give him time, that’s all. Don’t take this to heart and don’t take it personally. Trust me. Cam will never leave you.”
“Okay. If you say so.” She would do her best. “And what about you?” She tried to ask teasingly, but she was afraid that it came out needy.
“I told you that first day after we left the store. You’ve got me as long as you want me. I’ll be what you need me to be, and I hope one day…well…we all have our irrational dreams, right?” He gave her a self-depreciating smile.
They got up and went back to the tent camp. She felt better after talking to Jim.
Jean was heating up a kettle over a small fire in the firepit. She looked up at them and waved them over.
“I’m making a cup of tea! You all want some? There’s plenty.”
“I’ll take a cup,” Jim said.
He sat in a lawn chair nearby and waited. He motioned Angie over and tugged her down to him and put a hand on the side of her head. He whispered in her ear once more.
“Do something special for Cam tonight. You know what he likes. Do something that will really grab his attention.” He winked and let her go. She raised her eyebrows, then nodded at him thoughtfully.
Jean turned back from preparing another cup.
Why wasn’t she using the electric stove in the houseboat?
“Why aren’t you using the electric stove in the houseboat?” she asked Jean.
“This is better! Things just taste better when you have to work for them,” she answered.
Angie supposed that was true. Still…there was something to be said for convenience. She pulled her hair into a bun and walked away. She needed inspiration.
She wandered around to the far side of the docks, deep in thought. Yes, she knew what Cam liked. She also knew what he loved. He loved telling her what to do. How could she use that to get his attention?
She passed Jack and Jonah over by the dock. They were fixing the side that had been damaged in the storm. They almost had it finished too. They wouldn’t be here to use it too much longer. Cam wanted them to move to the cabin in about a month, and it was already the first week of August.
“Great job, guys!” she said.
Jack looked up and waved. She waved back. Jonah stood up and shouted back at her. “I’m supervising! He’s a good worker. Taught him everything he knows!”
She laughed at Jonah’s statement and Jack’s expression. She wondered if Jessica had told him yet. She didn’t think so. Somehow, she was sure that they would all know when he found out. Poor Jess, she was so miserable. Hopefully the pills will work.
That was another thing. If Jess needed more of those pills, they would need to do a supply run to a pharmacy. Pharmacies were going to be looted badly by now. She only hoped they hadn’t taken what Jess needed.
Not only that, but pharmacies were also generally in towns. Towns mean more chances to be caught up in a herd.
Eventually they would need to plan for the birth, and that was going to be a real event. She was going to have to do some studying on midwifery practices. Maybe Brad should do some extra reading as well. He had really taken to studying medicine and was now well versed in common medical problems and their treatments. He had even begun studying the surgical references. She hoped he’d never have to operate.
She watched the late afternoon sun glint on the waves. The birds were flying overhead, and she was calmed by the peaceful surroundings. Here, they didn’t really have to worry about their perimeter. Zombies were highly unlikely to cross the lake, and they would know if a boat approached.
At the cabin, they wouldn’t have that. They would have to be constantly on guard. Add that to extreme cold and being cooped up with a lot of other people, and you get some major stress. She wasn’t looking forward to it at all.
Maybe next year they could build a place here on the island and stay here.
Chapter Two
Z-Day Plus 77
Cam
After Angie left to give Jess her medication, Cam decided to go over to the tent and double-check his gear...for the tenth time.
He wanted to make sure he had everything, even though his checklist showed he did. It was always good to check and re-check before any mission. It was something he always did and always would do.
The plan was to take his SUV and drive north. There, he would find a good place to hole up and gather intel. He wanted to take a vehicle that was reliable and had off-road capabilities. He would miss having the Humvee’s blackout switch. That would have come in handy for this. The blackout switch cut off most lights on the vehicle, leaving the driver and passengers to navigate using NODS.
He hoped that he would spot Ed outside of the prison at some point. If he didn’t, he would use what he learned to go in. He had a plan for how to do that as well, and it didn’t involve getting caught as a prisoner.
He finished up in the supply tent. As he thought, he had everything he needed. Now, he was going to go back to the houseboat and work on the schedules for them to follow during his absence. He had elaborate plans in place that needed to be reviewed by the two he was leaving in charge, Jim and Jack. Bradley would be a sort of NCO/Medic and would help them with the day to day needs of the camp.
He walked into their room back at the boat and saw Jim reclining in their bed with a cup of hot tea and a book. He looked damn comfortable too. Cam was going to enjoy making him get up and go over the schedules again. He smiled.
“How the hell d
o you drink that stuff? It’s over ninety degrees outside!” he asked Jim.
“You drink coffee!” Jim pointed out.
“Yeah, but coffee is coffee. Hot tea is for wintertime and the flu and shit.” Jim just rolled his eyes at Cam’s barbaric ways.
“We need to go over the training plan again,” Cam told him, swiping Jim’s feet off the bed and into the floor.
“Hey! You made me spill some!” Jim said in irritation. “There was some good whiskey in that!”
Cam understood his fondness now…
“Where’s Angie?” Cam asked him, changing the subject.
“She went out for a walk. Cam, we need to talk about Angie,” Jim said, suddenly serious.
Cam thought he knew what Jim was going to say and he didn’t want to hear it. He already knew. It wasn’t any of his damned business anyway, was it?
Well…maybe a little.
“Your distraction over Ed is causing her to question your feelings for her. You need to make it better, before she takes it personally. I tried to explain it to her, but I don’t think she fully understood.”
Cam sat on the end of the bed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Why the fuck did things have to get so complicated? He loved Angie. He was in love with Angie. Nothing had changed!
Maybe that’s not right. He had changed, but it wasn’t anything to do with her.
Why the hell did women have to be so damned sensitive over these things?
“Look. Maybe I have been a little distant lately. I’ve been busy! I’ve spent the last couple of weeks planning this operation, and it’s one of the most important things I have ever done. Not only that, but this is one is different for another reason. Back when I was running missions overseas, I had plenty of backup. I could call in for air support and have an Apache there within minutes! I could call in mortars and have them pounding the shit out an enemy target. I had squads of highly trained men devoted to protecting each other and fulfilling the mission. Now? It’s just me!”
Cam got up and paced the small space. Jim wouldn’t ever truly understand how alone he felt. Nobody else here had the knowledge he did or the experiences. Sure, they had been through some things, but he had spent years fighting for his life and the lives of his men, and sometimes losing them. They didn’t know what it was like having that guilt on their shoulders. They never had to take responsibility for someone else’s life. Jim was the only one who could come close to understanding that.
Jim got up and walked over, halting Cam’s pacing.
“Listen. Angie’s got some bad memories from her marriage that this situation is dredging up. I’m not saying that either one of you are wrong or right. All I’m telling you is how Angie is feeling about this. For one reason or another, she feels like you’ve abandoned her in all this. You need to help her and help yourself, by reconnecting and making things right before you leave.”
Jim clapped him on the shoulder and prepared to walk out but turned back for one last request.
“Tonight is your last night here for a while. Spend it with her alone. It would be the best thing for both of you.”
Jim walked out the door and into the kitchen. “And don’t worry about the damned training schedule. We’ve got it down to an art form!”
◆◆◆
Later that evening, Cam was sipping a drink on the top deck of the houseboat. Angie had come in earlier and asked him to give her a little while, then go with her somewhere. He wondered what she had in mind. It was difficult to pull his brain away from tomorrow’s mission, but he would do his best not to let it interfere with his night with Angie.
Jim was right. He had been making her feel abandoned and he didn’t want to ever cause her to feel that way.
He had a plan.
The others were downstairs in the kitchen and living room, eating the meal that Jessica had managed to make, even though Jean practically threatened her life if she stepped foot in the kitchen again before next week. Thankfully that medication had helped enough that she could function again. She was still pale though, too pale.
He finished his glass and debated getting another but decided against it. He didn’t need to drink too much this evening.
He got up and walked over to the railing facing the lake. The stars glowed bright and clear like diamonds overhead, and the air had cooled enough to be comfortable. It was extremely pleasant. He would miss it when they had to leave.
He heard a sound behind him and turned his head. Angie.
She was dressed in a beautiful short black cocktail dress with black heels. She looked exquisite. Her hair cascaded in waves down her back, and he saw that she had a little makeup on. She didn’t need it, but damn… it highlighted her beauty perfectly.
“You look beautiful,” he said hoarsely.
She smiled and walked toward him slowly. She stopped short and held out her hand to him. He walked toward her and took it, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.
She turned and he followed her down the stairs and into the night.
◆◆◆
They walked silently, hand in hand, to the old campsite behind the lodge. They were alone. Angie led him to the dining tent, replacing the mesh behind them. His heart clenched at what he saw.
She had spent a lot of time on this.
She had prepared their meal and set the table with the good dishes. There were even flowers and a bottle of wine.
He pulled her close in the flickering candlelight. He looked down into her face. He tipped her chin up with his hand and stared into her eyes. Her beautiful, expressive eyes. She was his soul mate.
“I love you more than anything or anyone on this Earth. I always will.” He dipped his head to hers and brought their lips together, sealing his pronouncement with a kiss.
He got lost in the warmth of her lips and the touch of her hands on his chest. She was perfect.
It was time.
He pulled back and looked into her piercing grey eyes. Her mouth was parted from their kiss, and he wanted more than anything to drag her off and give them both an extreme amount of pleasure. Well, almost more than anything.
He knelt down on one knee, watching her expression in the soft candlelight. He took her hand in his and kissed it softly.
“Baby, I love you with all my heart and soul. You were made for me, and I was put on this Earth to be yours. I want to spend the rest of our lives together. Whatever time we have left, I want it to be with you. Will you be my wife?”
He saw tears roll down her cheeks and she bowed her head for a moment. He waited, heart pounding.
Would she reject him? Did she not love him as much as she thought? Did her asshole ex-husband ruin marriage for her?
“Oh my gosh. Cam!” She covered her mouth and stared at him like it was the last thing she had expected from him.
He pulled a box from his pocket and placed it carefully in her hand. She looked at it in shock.
“Where did you get this?” she asked.
“Just open it. I hope you like it. I spent a year’s salary on it,” he teased.
She slowly opened the box and gasped. She looked at him and covered her mouth with her hand. He knew she would like it.
“You haven’t given me an answer,” he said. He sounded relaxed, but inside he was almost shaking with nerves.
“Yes! Of course!” she said with a happy laugh. She wiped her face.
It was a magnificent rose gold split-shank ring with three large center stones, diamonds of course, surrounded by smaller diamonds. When he saw it, he knew instantly that it was made for her…for them.
“The diamonds are like you. Strong, enduring, valuable, and extremely beautiful,” he said softly, kissing her hand.
“Well, there are three diamonds. I want you to be one too,” she said with a grin.
“Well damn, baby. That leaves one more diamond out. Got any ideas who you want that one to be?” he joked.
“No babies!” she said emphatically.
He laughed a
nd groaned. “Shit, that just leaves Jim.”
She giggled.
He took it from her, and she held out her hand. He slid the ring onto her finger, then squeezed her hand and put in on his chest, over his heart.
“Sometimes I may be distracted by things, and I may not always give you all the time you deserve, but don’t ever doubt that this is yours,” he said, pressing her hand against his pounding heart. “I am always here for you. Jim and the others too. We’re all in this together.”
She wiped her face and cupped his face in her hands, pulling him forward.
“I love you so much, Cam!” she whispered, before kissing him gently.
She led him back through the doorway and out into the yard again, bypassing the supply tents. Finally, they came to their old tent. Inside, she had laid out more candles, blankets, and pillows. She made as if to walk forward and he grabbed her arms, stopping her.
He moved up behind her, pressing his chest against her back. He felt her breathing accelerate and saw the pulse beating rapidly in her neck. He lowered his mouth to her neck and kissed her there, before feathering more kisses onto the top of her shoulder.
He took her hair firmly in one hand and pulled back, forcing her head back against his chest. He heard her moan low in her throat, the sound causing his gut to clench instantly. It had been a long time since he had been with her, and his control was slim.
He found the zipper on the back of the dress and lowered it slowly, running his tongue over the newly exposed skin. At midback, he encountered a mysterious obstacle. He lowered the dress over her hips and held it while she stepped out.
Lust burned through him fiercely as he saw what she was wearing. Oh fuck!
She had on a black lace corset and a very small, black lace thong that matched. His mouth watered at the sight.
Angie
Angie heard Cam growl low in his throat, and she shivered at the sound. Her Cam was back! He tipped his head down and fixed her with an intense look, penetrating her soul.
Refuge From The Dead | Book 3 | Dead Fall Page 2
