I turned back around in a flash.
It was Aaron, waiting for me to open the window.
I jumped up and did just that, relief flooding through my body.
An icy breeze came right in. “It got cold,” I told him, keeping my voice down. I was pretty sure Mom and Dad had already gone to sleep, but I didn’t want to risk them or David hearing us.
Aaron didn’t say anything, just followed me to my bed and sat down next to me.
I took him in. His eyes, his whole face, looked tired. His shoulders, usually tall, hunched over. He looked defeated. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“Me too,” he replied.
Tears filled my eyes. “I know this is all my fault. If I—“
He raised his hand to stop me. “It’s not your fault. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known that this wasn’t a good idea, that it would just be a matter of time before something like this happened.”
I blinked several times, realizing what he was saying. “I know my brother is really mad at you right now, but with time—“
He shook his head. “He’s more than mad, Rach. He—“
His voice faltered then, and he paused. When he started talking again, he stared down at the bed. “What I did was wrong, and I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me for it, but I do know that if we continue to do this, then… he’ll hate me forever and things will never be the same for any of us.”
It was like I was hearing the words coming out of his mouth, but I couldn’t quite understand them. After a minute, it started to hit me. “Aaron. What are you saying?”
He finally looked up at me. “We can’t do this anymore.”
I blinked back tears, refusing to break down in front of him. I needed to talk, to make him understand, but I couldn’t do that if I broke down and started crying. “We can’t give up now. If we give him some time, he’ll start to come around.”
Aaron sighed. “He won’t. I know him. He’ll leave for college bitter and angry, and then things will never be the same again. If I’m going to make this right, then I need to respect what he wants, and that means not doing this anymore.”
I could tell it hurt him to say it out loud, but at the same time, I hated him for doing it.
So he was basically picking his friendship with my brother over me?
I could hardly control the tears then.
Even through the pain, I understood what he was doing and why. He was a good friend, even now, and that meant breaking my heart in the process.
I stood up and took a few steps away from him. It was like I could no longer be this close to him anymore, not when he felt that way.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I covered my face, determined not to let the tears spill over. Then I turned so he wouldn’t see. “Just go,” I managed.
Anger filled my insides, joining the pain and the hurt. Even so, I wanted him to come up to me and hug me. Tell me it was going to be okay.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he said, “He was going to start tonight. That’s why he had gone looking for me, to tell me the good news. That we were going to play together again.”
I shut my eyes, but it was no good. The tears came anyway.
“I’m going to apologize to him. You should too,” he added.
His voice was hard, like stone. I heard him get up, but he didn’t say anything else.
When I finally turned back around, Aaron was gone.
Gone from my bedroom.
Gone from my life for good.
25
I refused to get out of bed the next day.
Mom seemed baffled about it. “Are you sick? What’s going on? David won’t come out of his room either.”
Ugh. I pulled the covers over my head and didn’t say a word.
“Are you two mad at each other?” Mom went on. “Is that what this is? You two haven’t gotten into a fight in years, that time you broke his favorite remote control car.”
That only made me huddle even more into myself, until I was a small ball under the covers surrounded by darkness.
Mom’s tone of voice changed from curiosity to resolve. “Whatever it is, you two need to fix it. Or I will. And if I can’t, then your father will, and nobody wants that.” Mom left, shutting the door behind her.
She was right.
Aaron was right.
We had to make this right, but I had no idea how when I couldn’t fathom the idea of leaving this room again, ever.
How were we going to ride to school together?
Aaron wouldn’t be there anymore. He’d be back to riding early with Ben and the rest of his brothers.
How would Aaron and David manage to be teammates when their friendship had blown up?
It was impossible.
My whole life had become impossible.
The next several days went by painfully slowly. Eventually, I did get out of bed.
David could hardly look at me.
Now that his foot was pretty much healed, he was back to driving. I got into the car with him Monday morning, and he drove us without a word.
At school, he avoided both Aaron and me. He’d turn and start walking in the opposite direction if he saw Aaron. That’s how mad he was at him.
To make matters worse, the whole school had heard what had happened. That Aaron and I had been going out behind his back. Needless to say, some of the comments that were going around were not nice.
At lunch, some of the soccer girls walked past. Either they didn’t notice I was right there or they didn’t care.
“That’s what I heard,” one of them said. “His best friend’s sister. And he lied about it for months. I guess now we know why he’s never asked anyone out. He always had eyes for her.”
Just like that, tears filled my eyes, but this time, they were angry tears. I gripped my fork and clenched my jaw.
Audrey put her hand on my forearm. “Ignore them,” she said. “They’re not worth the trouble.”
Scarlett wrapped her arm around me, and Nora gave me a sympathetic look. “By next week, it’ll be yesterday’s news. Everyone will move on to the next thing.”
But it wasn’t over by next week.
More than two weeks went by, the rumors weren’t as bad anymore, but David still refused to talk to me.
Mom had sat us both down to talk. We had listened, neither of us refusing to say a word and admit what had happened.
At least she had kept Dad at bay. He would stare us down and leave a room in a huff but that was about it so far.
One afternoon, I knocked on David’s bedroom door. He swung it open, probably expecting Mom or Dad. He was about to shut it in my face when I stopped him. “David, please. If you won’t talk to me, at least listen to Aaron. You don’t have to forgive me, but please, forgive him. He’s your best friend.”
His face remained hard and cold. “No, he’s not,” he spat, then he shut the door.
Meanwhile, the posters for prom were everywhere. Tickets were sold out with a week left to go, which meant that I wouldn’t have to worry about going with Aaron at all.
Just a few weeks ago, I’d been crushed at the idea of not being able to go with him. Now I would’ve given just about anything to be able to do anything with him that night, prom or no prom.
To make matters worse, while David was avoiding Aaron, Aaron was also avoiding me.
I’d seen him go up to David more than once to try to apologize, only to get shot down.
The first time, I’d made a move to go up to him after David told him off. I wanted to encourage him, support him, something, but he’d turned on his heel and left the second he’d seen me.
It hit me then that Aaron and David had been left without a best friend. Meanwhile, I’d been left with no one.
Even though David and I were brother and sister, I was pretty sure he’d always hate me. I couldn’t imagine him forgiving me, family or not. He was the kind of person that didn’t really get mad often, but when he did, he rea
lly got mad…
And Aaron wasn’t talking to me either, probably to not give my brother any more chance to hate him. So I couldn’t really blame him.
I couldn’t remember ever feeling as terrible, though.
And as if all of that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t been able to perform a backflip since injuring my wrist. The wrist itself had been all better after a few days, but even so, I couldn’t do it.
The thing was it wasn’t physical. It was all in my head.
I’d never been afraid to try a new stunt, much less hesitate to do one that I knew well. Gymnastics had always come naturally for me. Fear had never been an issue.
Now it was all I could think about when I went to try.
After one failed attempt that had almost ended with me on landing my neck, Coach Collins had made me stop. “Whatever’s going on with you, Rachel, let me know when you’re okay because I won’t let you get injured again on my watch.” She sighed, like she was exasperated and didn’t know how to tell me what was she going to tell me any other way. “You’ve always been an excellent cheerleader, Rachel. You’re my first pick for captain next year, but if you can’t get it together…”
I watched her walk away in shock. Then the self-pity set in.
Being captain my senior year was my ultimate dream, and if I couldn’t get my head back in the game, then I would ruin that too.
I had to get back to doing stunts, no matter what.
The stunts were the whole reason I’d fallen in love with cheer in the first place, and now I didn’t even have that.
No matter how hard I tried, though, I kept messing up. It was like I was missing something. I’d been doing stunts for years without even thinking about it, and now I didn’t know what I was missing.
The only thing I had left were my friends, and even they could only offer so much consolation.
There were so many missing pieces of my life, and they were just one.
They weren’t cheer.
They weren’t Aaron.
They weren’t my brother.
It hurt to think of the amount of pain we’d caused him.
One night after a basketball game, we came home. Mom and Dad said we weren’t allowed to go out with our friends until we’d made up.
So we’d come straight home.
I saw how much it sucked for David not being able to go out and celebrate with the rest of the team after his first game won since being able to play again. “Good game tonight,” I told him in the kitchen as we scrounged for leftovers.
When he ignored me yet again, I left.
Forget it. I could always grab food later. I didn’t want to stick around if he hated me.
A few minutes later, Mom found me in my room. “You’re not going to eat?” she asked.
I stared up at the ceiling. “Not just yet.”
Mom sat down beside me. “What’s going on with you two?” she asked. When I didn’t respond, she said, “I remember a time when you used to tell me everything.”
I turned to her, seeing a bit of sadness in her eyes, like when you remembered a favorite memory. I remembered those days too, telling her everything. These days, it was my friends I told everything to. But something told me it was okay to tell her this. “Aaron and I…” I started. Then I realized I didn’t know how to say the rest.
I didn’t have to. Mom looked surprised for about a second. “Your brother didn’t know.” It wasn’t a question. She scooted closer to me. “I always knew there was something between you and Aaron. When did you two become more than friends?”
I hugged my pillow to my chest. “Right around when David hurt his leg,” I told her anxiously.
She patted my calf. “That boy has always been crazy about you. Ever since you were all kids, I could tell.”
Apparently, the whole world knew. Everyone except David…
“Let me guess,” Mom went on. “You two didn’t tell him?”
I shook my head slowly. All of a sudden, I felt like I was six again, and I’d just gotten in trouble for muddying up my new sneakers.
Mom’s mouth set into a straight line. “You two didn’t tell anyone,” she said. Then she sighed. “Oh, Rachel. Your father’s not going to like that. And if he doesn’t know yet, it’s because David doesn’t hate you. He’s your brother, and he’s always been very protective of you. So even if he’s really mad at you right now, he hasn’t told your father for a reason.”
I thought about that. Could it be true?
Is that why Dad still didn’t know the details of what had happened?
Tears filled my eyes and spilled over. Mom put her hand on my shoulder. “What you did was wrong, Rachel. You know that. Keeping this from your father and me. From your brother.” I began to cry more. “But I think you’ve had punishment enough.”
My chest heaved. I wasn’t so sure. Once Dad found out, he would be just as mad as David. “How am I ever going to fix this?” I asked.
For once, she didn’t have any answers for me. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “That’s the thing about growing up. I can’t fix things for you anymore. But it’ll get better. It has to.”
It definitely didn’t feel that way.
26
Just a couple of days before prom, the boys had a really big game.
In order to make it to qualify for their regional tournament, they had to win. There was no room for mess-ups or teammates getting along. That was what I had heard their coach tell them that afternoon when Scarlett and I walked past the boys’ locker room.
The problem was that Aaron and David still weren’t talking, though, and now it seemed like Aaron was also mad at David.
The game started. The cheer squad chanted and stomped from the sidelines as usual.
Right away, I noticed that Aaron and David were never on the court at the same time. Their coached looked so annoyed at them, but clearly, he also needed them both.
They were up seven points when one of their players jumped for a rebound and ended up spraining his ankle.
The game stopped, and the crowd turned silent, including us. Both teams took a knee while one of the assistant coaches helped the injured player hobble off the court. The crowd and the cheerleaders clapped for him, but it was clear after a few minutes, that he wasn’t going to be getting back on the court.
The varsity basketball coach paced back and forth. They needed another player. I’d heard David say earlier that two of their players were home sick. They didn’t have their usual amount of subs, and now they had none with another quarter left to go.
All five of the remaining players got back on the court, including Aaron and David.
They still had a chance to win. All they had to do was keep up what they were doing.
The problem was that David completely ignored Aaron.
He refused to pass to him over and over, even when he was the only one open.
Just five minutes later, they were down three points, and the other team loved it.
The coach called for a timeout.
He was not happy that two of his best players were about to cost him this game.
Scarlett and I watched Aaron say something to David. From the looks of it, he was calling him out on not passing to him. The ever-present knot in my stomach twisted even tighter.
Then David pushed him.
My mouth fell open.
No.
The crowd collectively gasped.
A couple of David’s teammates pulled him back.
Aaron looked like he was about to swing.
I couldn’t believe it. My worst nightmare was happening right before my eyes.
Aaron and David had never laid a hand on each other, not even as kids.
Ever, no matter how mad they’d gotten at each other.
Their coach stepped in between them. The ref came over. He and the coach talked. A minute later, the ref walked away, not looking happy himself.
“Oh my gosh,” Scarlett muttered. The rest of the squad whispered anxio
usly, unsure of what to do.
A minute later, both basketball teams walked back onto the court.
Whatever the coach had told Aaron and David, maybe it had worked.
They played and got through the rest of the game, but just barely.
Ten minutes later, the buzzer went off. They had scraped by, winning by just two points.
Two points, when it should’ve been an easy win.
Scarlett walked with me back to the locker room. “I thought they had beat this team before,” she said, “by like twenty points.”
I sighed. “They have.”
It was a while before David and Aaron came out of the locker room.
I sat down in the hallway several feet away. The rest of the team had left along with the crowd and the cheer squad, but the coach was still talking to David and Aaron.
Finally, all three of them walked out. “If you two can’t figure out whatever mess this is, then you can forget about playing in the state tournament next week. I don’t care if we don’t have any subs. What you two did tonight was downright embarrassing,” the coach told them. “Never in my twenty-year career…” Then he walked away without another word.
I stood up, trying to pretend I hadn’t heard everything.
Aaron walked past me without even so much as looking at me.
Meanwhile, David looked just as angry as during the game, like what the coach had just said hadn’t fazed him at all.
I stared at him, trying to understand how he was so angry that he was going to let what had happened ruin everything. I couldn’t let him ruin his senior basketball season like this.
“David, listen,” I said, not believing I was actually doing this. “You can be mad at me all you want. You can even stop being Aaron’s friend. But why would you let this cost you what you love the most?”
“Rachel,” he said, taking a step toward me. “Don’t.”
Somehow, that made my resolve grow even stronger. “So what if Aaron and I like each other? So what? Don’t you remember, David?”
I paused. His eyes narrowed just a little like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Aaron and I were friends first. When he ended up becoming your friend instead of mine, I never held that against you.” I watched the realization hit his face. “And now he’s trying to make things right with you. He’s apologized to you over and over and over, and you won’t accept it. What we did was wrong,” I went on. “It was wrong, and I’m sorry. But this? The only thing you’re doing now is hurting yourself.”
Dating Aaron & Other Forbidden Things (Garcia Brothers Book 2) Page 11
