by Claire Adams
“Listen, you jerk, stop calling me that,” I growled in to the phone. “He’s a hundred times the man you could ever hope to be, so shut the hell up and leave me alone! Don’t you get it, Dominic? We are done! I don’t want you; not now, and not ever! Leave. Me. Alone!”
“I told you, darling,” he purred. “I will never leave you alone. You and I are meant to be together, and I won’t allow that steroid-sipping numbskull to get in our way. I will get rid of him; by any means necessary.”
“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” I screamed into the phone as Dominic’s sinister voice dragged me back to a place I was sure I’d left long ago. “Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!”
Brian frantically gestured for me not to hang up, but I was so far beyond angry that I didn’t see him until it was too late and I’d already slammed the phone down on the couch. I wrapped my arms around my upper body and tried to hold back the tears as I sat shaking and tried to remember to breathe. Am I ever going to be free of him? Am I ever going to feel safe again?
*****
“Are you okay?” Brian asked as he frowned at his phone. I hadn’t kept Dominic on the line long enough to give them a good idea of where he was calling from, but in my mind, that was the least of our problems.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed. “But you might want to rethink this whole bodyguard thing. He’s going to go after you, you know.”
“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes and waved me off.
“I’m serious, Brian,” I pleaded. “Dominic is coming unglued and I’m afraid of what he’s going to do next.”
“I’m not afraid of him, Ava,” he replied. The look on his face was one of determination mixed with good old-fashioned annoyance. “Men like Dominic are cowards. They think that if they control people through fear, they’ll make up for their own self-loathing and insecurity.”
“It sounds like you know something about these kinds of guys,” I observed.
“Yeah, well—” he trailed off as his phone buzzed with a text from headquarters. “Shoot, they didn’t get him this time.”
“I’m sure he’ll be back,” I sighed. I wondered why I was so intent on playing up the danger of the situation. I didn’t know any more if I wanted to get rid of Brian or if I really was concerned about his safety. “I just don’t like this at all. And your nonchalant attitude doesn’t give me confidence that you’re taking this seriously. He could hurt you.”
“Ava, he is not going to hurt me,” he said. “And I resent the fact that you’re questioning my skills as a bodyguard. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“I’m not questioning you,” I said defensively. “I’m just saying that he’s not going to play by the rules and that makes him dangerous.”
“I’ve known a lot worse danger,” he muttered. “And I’m definitely not going to let that little weasel get to me. Happy now?”
“Weasel, is he?” I laughed weakly as I tried to break the tension between us. “Yeah, he’s kind of low to the ground and slippery, although I think that calling him a weasel is kind of an insult to weasels, don’t you think?”
As Brian flashed me a grim grin, I caught a glimpse of him dropping his hand to check the gun concealed under his hoodie. Maybe he wasn’t as unconcerned as he said he was.
*****
“So, what are you going to do about him?” I asked as I began pacing the small room. The realization that Dominic might truly be a threat to my safety and that of those around me was sinking in, and it made me anxious.
“We’re going to try and figure out where he is, and then neutralize the threat,” Brian replied.
“But how are you going to find him if I can’t keep him on the phone long enough for you to locate him?” I countered. My anxiety was starting to ramp up as I started thinking about all of the things that Dominic had done during our relationship and the ways in which I’d been lulled into believing that they were for my own good. Who was acting in my interests now? Sure, Brian was there to protect me, but he had been hired by my father, whose number one interest was himself and his own reputation, not me or mine.
“Look, chill out will you?” Brian’s aggravation was apparent, but it didn’t stop me from wanting answers.
“Chill out? You chill out!” I shouted. “This is my life we’re talking about! Dominic is a psycho who is going to do whatever he needs to do to get me back! You have no idea how insane he is!”
“Oh, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea,” he mumbled.
“What?” I had worked myself up into a frenzy as I pictured all of the awful things Dominic would do to get to me as all the awful things he had done loomed over me like a dark cloud. Would he hurt Lara or Jessie? The panic was rising to a new level when Brian crossed the room and grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me lightly.
“Ava! Stop!” he commanded. “Dammit, I’m here to protect you, and nothing is going to harm either one of us. Now, would you please drop it?”
With wide eyes, I stared up at him, trying to make sense of his words so that I could stop myself from panicking. He lightly shook me again, and as I gazed up into his eyes, I leaned forward as I raised a hand to touch his cheek. His eyes softened for a moment, and then he pulled back and shook his head.
“No,” he said. “You said there isn’t going to be anymore sex. I respect that, and you’re right, Ava. I’ve been hired to protect you from Dominic, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, but beyond that, it’s a no-go.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I dropped my head and stared at the floor. I was embarrassed that I’d tried to cross the line that I’d drawn, but it didn’t change the fact that I still wanted him. Images from the night before flashed through my mind, and my cheeks burned with both shame and desire. I looked up at him, searching for some recognition of what we’d shared the night before, but there was none in his eyes.
“I need to be vigilant about protecting you, and in order to do that, I need to be on my A game,” he looked up at me and pointedly said, “and there’s really no room for mistakes.”
I nodded as I dropped my eyes to the floor again. How could he say this after what we’d done last night? How could he be so businesslike and not be torn up about wanting and not wanting? And then I remembered, Oh, that’s right. This is a job for him. I swallowed hard, looked up, smiled and said in the brightest voice I could muster, “Then do you want to go to dinner?”
“Well, sure. Whatever you want,” he responded. “Do we need to stop and pick up Lara and Jessie?”
“No, I mean, how about you and I go have dinner together? Sit at the same table and talk?” I suggested. “I just don’t feel like having to explain myself to other people and you already know the situation, so…”
“Okay, then dinner it is,” he agreed. “What are you in the mood for tonight?”
“I’m thinking Italian,” I said. “I could go for a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs to wipe the memory of today out of my mind.”
“That sounds good to me,” he nodded, though I realized that he would have agreed to go anywhere I’d suggested even if it didn’t sound good; after all, it was his job.
*****
“Belissima, Ava!” Gina, the owner, cried as she welcomed me with open arms. “I have not seen you all school year! Where are you hiding yourself these days?”
“I’ve been…um…busy,” I smiled. “Gina, this is Brian. Brian, this is Gina.”
“Ah, bella, this explains why you’re so busy,” Gina smiled knowingly and winked.
“Gina! No!” I laughed. “He’s not the reason why!”
“Well, shame, bellissima,” the older woman pouted. “I was hoping that you’d finally replaced that good-for-nothing loser you used to come in here with! But it’s nice to meet you, Brian. You’re welcome here anytime!”
Gina chatted about her daughters and the restaurant as she escorted us to a table tucked back in a far corner, then winked at me and left us to enjoy our meal.<
br />
“How do you know her?” Brian asked as he picked up the menu and began examining its offerings.
“I’ve known her since I was a small child,” I explained. “She owned a restaurant around the corner from my parents’ brownstone, and we used to walk over for dinner or gelato on hot summer nights. Gina always exclaimed, ‘Bellissima!’ when she spied me, so it became a tradition. The restaurant was a success and when her kids got older, she started opening up new locations. Then her youngest daughter, Gabby, got in to the university, and Gina decided to move here and open another place. Gabby always said it was because her mother wanted to keep an eye on her, but Gina insisted that she liked the pace of a smaller town. Anyway…”
Across the table, Brian continued to examine the menu as he nodded and mumbled, “Mmm hmm,” and “I see.” I wasn’t sure he was actually listening to me, so I stopped talking and looked down at the menu. I already knew what I wanted, a big plate of Gina’s homemade spaghetti topped with three huge meatballs. It was comfort food, but I had never ordered it when I came in with Dominic. He hadn’t approved of my non-vegetarian status, so I had always tried to appease him by ordering the Pasta Primavera or some all-vegetable creation. I cringed as I recalled the way in which I used to look over at him for approval after I’d placed my order, and the way in which he’d always make slight changes telling the waiter, “Go light on the olive oil. She’s watching her calorie intake,” or “That’s good, Ava, but next time you might want to lay off the bread before we place our order.” Eating with Dominic became a field of emotional landmines, and after we’d been together a few months, I’d found myself trying to find ways to avoid having to go out to eat with him. I shook my head to clear the memories, looked up, and smiled.
“Have you decided what you’re going to have?” I asked too brightly.
“Are you okay?” Brian looked concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just…” I trailed off. “What are you having?”
“I think I’m going to go with your choice and have the spaghetti and meatballs,” he said, and then smiled a little. “That way if I don’t like it, it’ll be all your fault.”
“Oh no, that’s all on you, Mr. Flynn!” I laughed. “Freedom! Isn’t that what you military people fight for? The right to choose your own dinner?”
A dark look flitted across Brian’s face, and I knew I’d gone too far. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I didn’t mean—“
“No, it’s fine,” he replied. “It’s all good.”
Across the restaurant a loud clatter caused Brian to jerk his chair out, and pop up out of it anxiously, looking around. He scanned the place until he found the culprit; a clumsy busboy had dropped a basket full of silverware and was now on his knees cleaning up the mess. I watched with a concerned look on my face until he sat back down and faced me, one hand still under his hoodie holding the handle of his gun.
*****
For a few moments we sat in uncomfortable silence, then Brian asked, “So, what’s it like growing up so rich?”
“Well, it’s okay, I guess,” I didn’t know how to answer his question without sounding like I was pitying myself. I mean, who wants to hear about a poor little rich girl who feels ignored? “I don’t know. I got to do a lot of things, and I know I had a whole bunch of advantages.”
“But what about your parents?” he pushed. “I’m curious how that works because your dad seems like a pretty focused guy.”
“You have no idea,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “He’s single-minded when it comes to the family business and the family name.”
“Sounds like it was rough,” he noted.
“I don’t know, I spent a lot of time in boarding schools, so I wasn’t really around him or my mother much,” I tried to sound casual about it, but the pain seeped into my voice and I fought to eliminate it. “On the other hand, I got to see a whole lot of things that other people only dream about!”
“Like what?” he asked. “What did you get to see that was so wonderful, Ava?”
The tone of his voice caught me off guard. For a moment I couldn’t tell whether he was mocking me or being genuinely kind, but when I looked up into his eyes, I saw a softness and quickly looked down and began messing with the napkin in my lap as I fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. It was true that I’d had an easy upbringing in terms of financial support. I’d never wanted for a single thing, and, in fact, had sometimes had to turn down things that were given to me before I even knew that I might want them. I wasn’t high and mighty, I just knew that there was more to life than clothes and cars and champagne.
“I got to see great works of art when I was 14. My grandmother and I traveled to Europe for a few months and we saw them all. We saw the Louvre in France, the Vatican in Italy, the Prado in Spain, the National Gallery in London, the Guggenheim, and the Bodemuseum in Berlin,” I recalled with a smile, and then quietly added, “It was the most amazing trip I’ve ever taken, and the last one that my grandmother ever took.”
“What happened to her? If you don’t mind me asking,” he asked.
“Why do people always say that?” I looked up at him as I spoke. “Why do they ask if they can ask you a question after they’ve already asked it?”
“I’m sorry,” he offered as he looked away embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s fine,” I replied, brusquely heading towards an explanation. “About three months after we returned from our trip, she fell in her bathroom and hit her head on the counter. One of the staff found her and called an ambulance, but by that time she’d been out for who knows how long. She was on life support for a week until my father and his sister could make a decision to let her go. They fought about it for days. My aunt wanted to hold off and see if she would improve, but my father did what he usually does and made the decision on his own. And as most people do with my father, my aunt finally gave in and agreed to take my grandmother off life support. They did an autopsy, and it turned out that she’d had a massive stroke, so my father’s decision was the right one in the end.”
“It sounds like your father is a decisive man,” Brian murmured.
“Yeah, well, that’s one way of looking at it,” I flashed him a wry grin as the waiter set our plates in front of us. As the smell from the steaming spaghetti drifted upward, I inhaled deeply and, for the first time in two days, felt ravenously hungry. I looked over at Brian and chirped, “Bon appetite!”
Despite the fact that we’d stuffed ourselves so full that neither one of us thought we’d ever want to eat again, Gina insisted that we take dessert with us, and boxed up a selection of tiramisu, cannoli, and something her pastry chef called Lemon Ricotta Surprise Cake. I hugged Gina tightly as Brian went to get the car.
“He likes you, Bella,” she smiled as she pushed my bangs out of my eyes. “He’s got that look that a man gets when he likes a woman more than he’s saying.”
“Oh, Gina!” I cried as I grabbed her and hugged her again. I wasn’t sure she knew what she was talking about since she didn’t know the situation, but then, I wasn’t entirely sure that she didn’t know either. I decided to hold back and see how things went rather than rush into something I was unsure of. It seemed like the smarter choice after the debacle that had become Dominic. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”
“Yes, you come back, Bella!” she smiled. “And bring that nice young man with you.”
Outside Brian tapped the horn letting me know the coat was clear. I turned to go, and then turned back and said, “You’re sure he likes me, Gina?”
“Oh my beautiful girl, yes, he definitely likes you!” she laughed. “Now go to him!”
I ran out and climbed into the front seat, carefully setting the bag of Italian goodies in my lap before Brian shifted into drive and took us back to the dorm.
*****
A few hours later, we were sprawled across the couch watching a movie. I was barely paying attention to it because having Brian so near was incredib
ly distracting, and I kept turning Gina’s words over in my head. Does he like me? Or is this just another job? I looked over at him and realized that it had been ages since I’d had such a good time with, well, anyone. Brian was easy to be around and his sense of humor combined with his intelligence made him really good company; the personal protection part aside.
“You’re really a good man,” I said as I stared at the television.
“What?” he asked in a distracted tone. “Did you say something?”
“Yeah, I said that I think you’re a really good man.”
“What brought that on?” he questioned as he reached for the remote and turned the volume down.
“I don’t know, I was just thinking about stuff,” I said quietly. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know anything about what I was thinking, but then, I wasn’t sure that I didn’t. “My whole dating life seems to have been a way of getting back at my parents for expecting me to be their perfect little daughter.”
“Well, you’re not alone in that endeavor, in case you’re feeling guilty,” Brian laughed.
“No, I’m serious,” I said as I looked up at him. “I’ve always picked guys who were jerks so that my father would pay attention, but he never did. He just waved me off like I was one of his employees. The only difference was that he’d always give me a credit card to ease the pain of being dismissed. Or at least that was my interpretation of it.”
“That sucks,” Brian replied. “My old man never gave me anything, but on the upside, I didn’t expect him to, so I guess we were even.”
“What is your father like?” I asked. I’d been looking for a way into Brian’s personal life, and here it was.
“Dunno,” he said. “I never met him. My mom said he was a good guy who was torn apart by the war and just couldn’t recover from it.”
