Muffin spots us and hops off the couch, making her way toward us, her long claws clacking on the bare floors.
“Oh, look at her!” Ava lets go of my hand to crouch down and greet Muffin with a sweet crooning voice I’ve never heard her use before. “Aren’t you the cutest thing? Look at you. You’re so sweet!”
Muffin is yipping and hopping up and down, trying to rest her paws on Ava’s knees. Once she’s successful, she barks again. Then licks the side of Ava’s face.
Gross.
But Ava doesn’t seem to mind. She’s laughing and petting the dog nonstop, and I can’t believe how nice Muffin is being to her. Of course, Ava is being equally nice to Muffin, so maybe that’s the secret.
“Eli, is that you?” Mom calls.
“No, it’s a stranger coming to steal all of your valuables,” I say to her, pausing only for a moment. “Yeah Mom, of course it’s me.”
“Well, you don’t sound like yourself. I thought I heard a female’s voice. And Muffin isn’t barking like crazy like she usually does when she sees you.”
“I brought someone with me, that’s why,” I say.
Ava glances up at me before she rises to her full height once more, grabbing my hand so I can lead her into the family room.
Mom grabs the TV remote and pauses her show, a giant, beautiful blonde woman filling the screen with a bitchy expression, her glossy red lips parted as if she’s ready to blast someone with a string of mean words. “You brought someone with you?”
“Yeah.” Nerves are suddenly dancing in my stomach, but I try my best to play it cool. “This is Ava.”
“Oh.” Mom leaps from the couch, running her hands over her clothes like that’s going to magically eliminate the wrinkles. “You brought home a girl. I wish you would’ve warned me.” She rakes her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth it out, but it’s still a little messy.
But at least she appears more presentable than usual.
“Hi,” Ava says with a little wave.
“Hello,” Mom says, plastering on a pleasant smile. It wavers at the corners, and I’m worried she’s going to say something horrible when she turns her gaze onto me. “Are you seeing this girl, Eli?”
“She’s my girlfriend,” I say, my voice stiff, as if I’m talking to a stranger. Sometimes, when it comes to my mom, I feel like I am.
“Oh, she’s your girlfriend.” Mom smiles, and it actually looks genuine. “It’s so nice to meet you, Ava.”
“Nice to meet you too.” Ava glances down at Muffin, who’s furiously sniffing her shoes. “And your dog.”
“Muffin seems to like you.” Mom laughs, though it sounds as if she’s a little on edge. Normal mother behavior, which is almost reassuring.
But then again, it’s not. Not at all. When she has too much to drink, Mom can pop off with the shittiest remarks ever. She knows how to sling a good insult when she wants to.
Meaning, I’ve learned from a master.
“I like her too.” Ava kneels again, letting Muffin hop all around her, trying to lick her face. She laughs and I glance over at Mom to find her watching them with warmth in her eyes.
Mom lifts her gaze to mine, the warmth remaining in her gaze and she smiles at me, mouthing, I like her.
I mouth back, I like her too.
“I’m gonna show Ava my room,” I say after a few minutes of idle chitchat about my sworn enemy of the house. Muffin. Who knew Ava would get attached to that stupid ass dog so quickly? “I just wanted to introduce you two first.”
“It was very nice meeting you, Ava.” Mom approaches us, stands before us awkwardly for a moment before she pulls my girlfriend in for a quick hug. “I hope Eli brings you around more often.”
“I would love that,” Ava says, a little flustered as she steps out of my mother’s arms. She flashes me a quick look before returning her attention to my mother. “It was nice meeting you too.”
We start to walk away when Mom calls out, “Oh Eli. I forgot to tell you.”
I pause and glance over my shoulder. Ava remains beside me as well. “What?”
“Your brother called the house.” Yeah, we still have a landline. Mom refuses to get rid of it. “He mentioned to me that you won’t quit texting and calling him. He asked if one of us was in jail.”
Ha. Ha. Not funny, motherfucker. God, my brother is annoying. “I’d quit if he called or texted me back,” I say between clenched teeth. Annoyance flashes through me. Leave it to Ryan to make me sound like a pest.
“He said he’d try and call here tomorrow late afternoon.” Mom makes a little face. “Though you’ll probably be at practice.”
“If he calls here first, tell him to call back at eight. I’ll make sure my ass is in this house at eight o’clock,” I say.
Mom scowls. I’m sure it’s because I said ass in front of Ava. If she only knew. “I’ll let him know, but Eli…you shouldn’t harass your brother so much. He’s hard at work at college. He has to concentrate on his studies.”
Making excuses for him. Figures. I refuse to get into this right now. “Just tell him to call back, okay? And come on, Mom. You can be really busy and still make time to call your family, right?”
Before she can answer, I grab Ava’s hand and lead her through my house. My steps are fast and furious, and Ava’s having to run to keep up with me, until she finally jerks her hand out of mine and falls behind.
“Are you okay?” she calls softly.
“Yeah, I’m just…” My voice drifts and I stop in front of my closed door, leaning my shoulder against it, watching Ava as she approaches. “Irritated. With my brother. He’s been ignoring me.”
“For how long?” she asks when she stops directly in front of me.
“Oh, almost three years.” I sound like I’m joking, but I’m not. “Come on.” I open the door to my room and she follows me inside.
“Are you being serious? He’s ignored you for the last three years?” Ava asks as she glances around my room before her gaze lands on my bed. Wonder if she’s remembering what went down the last time she was in my bed.
That was a good time.
“I’m kind of exaggerating, but kind of not. Since he went away to college, he doesn’t really talk to any of us. And he hasn’t come home. Not once.”
“Not even for Christmas?” Her eyes widen the slightest bit. “You do celebrate Christmas, right?”
“Yeah, we do.” I send her a confused look. “Why wouldn’t we?”
“I don’t know. Some people don’t.” She shrugs.
“Well, we do.” The last couple of years, Christmas hasn’t been so great, but I won’t bother telling her that. “And no, he doesn’t come around for any holidays. None of them. It’s like we don’t exist anymore.”
“That’s terrible.” The sad expression on Ava’s face says it all.
She feels for me. My pain is her pain. I’ve never had someone like that before. Someone who feels for me. Someone who’s on my side and no one else’s. Mom’s torn between the three men in her life: me, Ryan and my dad. Even though my dad shits all over her still, she cares about him. She wants to make him happy.
Dad is selfish. He only cares about himself, and how we all make him look. It’s all about the image for him, and currently, our family image is tarnished beyond repair.
Ryan? He’s a runner. An avoider. He can’t even manage to send me a text. But he’ll call the house and tell Mom I’m a pain in his ass. Like I’m bugging him when I’m just trying to get some support from my big brother.
But this girl? Standing in the middle of my bedroom, looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters to her? She supports me no matter what I do or what I say.
She’s just…there. For me.
That shit is mind blowing. Like, I’m a complete idiot most of the time. I say and do the craziest things. I don’t think, I just do. That’s how I’ve lived my life. I’ve never cared about, you know, doing right. Watching out for myself. If it’s my time, it’s my time. That’
s what I used to say after I nearly got into a car accident, or that one time when I jumped off the cliffs and almost broke my fucking neck.
Now, I don’t want to be so reckless. Life is fucking precious, and I want to spend every day of it with Ava, if I can. I want to make amends with my family. I want to do well in school so I can get out of here and go to a good college.
Still don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life, though. I guess that’ll come. Eventually.
I’m just living in the moment right now.
“He’s going through his own shit,” I finally say, making excuses, as usual, for my brother. “I don’t blame him. I think I’d run too if I was in his shoes.”
“Are you going to do that after you graduate?” Her question is casual, but I see the fear in her gaze. The worry in her features. “Leave and never come back?”
If she would’ve asked me that question a couple months ago, I would’ve said yes with no hesitation. I can’t take it here anymore. I want out. No one cares about me anyway, and I feel the same exact way.
Ava has changed me, though. She’s given me a connection when I’ve felt untethered for the last few years. When no one seems to care what you’re doing or where you’re at, you don’t really care either. You smash through life, causing chaos and destruction wherever you go.
I still have chaotic tendencies. I’m still too impulsive. But I’m trying to control myself better. All I can do is take it one day at a time.
“You’ve actually got me considering going to Fresno State, so no. I’m not going to leave and never come back,” I tell her.
She blinks and the fear disappears from her gaze. Just like that. It’s just that easy. “We’ve only been together for a little while.”
“I feel like I’ve been waiting for you my entire life,” I say, my voice low. Serious. I take a step toward her.
Ava rolls her eyes. “Come on.”
“I mean it.” I stop directly in front of her, but I don’t touch her yet. Didn’t Ava tell me once there’s something to be said about anticipation? How good it can feel? Or maybe I heard that somewhere else. I don’t know, but before Ava, with other girls, I rushed everything. I just wanted to get to the good stuff, and I never wanted to linger.
Now, I want to linger. Savor. Revel in it. Revel in her.
“I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit these last few years, most of it brought on by my family. Or myself,” I start, reaching out to touch her face. I skim my fingers along her cheek, pleased when her eyelids flutter and her lips part. Every touch from me makes her body respond, no matter what. “I try to act tough, because it’s easier that way. No one can hurt me. My family does it on a daily basis, but if I talk shit and put on a front and beat the fuck out of guys who cross me, who cares? I’ve got this, right?”
“You don’t have to do that with me.” She slowly shakes her head, her imploring gaze locking with mine. “You don’t have to suffer alone.”
“I know. Since I’ve met you, I’m starting to realize that.” I cradle her face with both hands, my hold light, as if she’s a fragile and precious thing. To me, she is. “I’m not perfect. I’ve fucked up. I’ll probably continue to fuck up, but I love you. I love you more than anyone else, and I will do my damnedest to make sure I never hurt you.”
A tremulous smile curls her perfect lips and I lean in, gently pressing my mouth to hers. “I can’t guarantee I won’t hurt you again. I probably will.”
“I love you, too. And I don’t want some perfect, fake version of you. I want you just the way you are,” she whispers, just before I rest my mouth on hers again.
We stand in the middle of my room kissing, Muffin scratching at the door and whining, like she knows I’ve got the best fuckin’ girl in my room and I’m keeping her to myself. It’s true. She is the best girl.
And I’m definitely keeping her all to myself.
Twenty-One
Ava
“I cannot believe you’re in my office this morning. I also can’t believe what I heard you did to Cami Lockhart yesterday at cheer practice,” Mrs. Adney says with a long, disappointed sigh as she leans back in her chair.
I wish I could hang my head and avoid her gaze, but that’s cowardly. I need to face her head on. “I can’t believe it either.”
“Why’d you do it? What in the world possessed you to actually slug Cami in the face?” Mrs. Adney shakes her head. “If that had happened during school hours, you would’ve been automatically suspended for three days.”
“Really?” My heart feels like it just lurched in my chest. Like it’s trying to dislodge itself and take off running. “Are you going to suspend me?”
She sends me a hard look, her lips tight, her eyes narrowed. “I should. Cami wants me to. She showed up first thing at my office. Her parents want me to as well. They’d already left multiple phone messages by the time I actually got around to calling them. Have you told your parents about this yet?”
I assumed she’d already told them yesterday, figuring Brandy had contacted her and let her know. But when I arrived at home last night after being with Eli, completely on edge and prepared to defend myself, my parents acted like everything was normal.
So I did too. I never mentioned it.
Slowly, I shake my head.
“Well, they’re gonna find out. I’m contacting them as soon as our little meeting is over.” She sighs again, rocking back and forth in her chair, contemplating me. I really like Mrs. Adney. She enforces tough love like no other, yet all the students respect her. She doesn’t yell just for the sake of yelling. Her discipline is necessary, and deep down the majority of us know it. The good kids love her, the bad kids love her—for the most part—and we all bask in her compliments and glowing words when she offers them.
But when she’s looking at you like she’s currently looking at me? I can’t help but feel like slime on the bottom of someone’s shoe. The lowest of the low.
“I’m sure they’ll be mad at me,” I offer up, not sure of what I should say.
“Look.” She leans forward, her chair squeaking extra loud, making me wince. “Cami Lockhart is—difficult. I get it. But I have to draw the line on physical violence.”
“I understand.”
“Good. I’m sure you know that you’re suspended from the team.”
“Okay.” I expected that, thanks to what my coach said. “For how long?”
“Two weeks minimum. Maybe longer. Maybe for the rest of the season.” She levels me with a look and I want to crumble. Instead, I sit up straighter, fully prepared to take my punishment. “Your position on the team is currently under consideration.”
“If Cami had her way, I’d never come back,” I say, my heart twisting at the thought of actually never going back.
My heart twists at being on the team too. Dealing with Cami in the aftermath doesn’t sound pleasant either.
“You’re damn right. You probably shouldn’t be on the team. We do not condone that sort of behavior on campus. So with that…” She pauses, most likely for effect. “You’ll have to do Saturday school. For two weeks.”
“Oh God.” I take a deep, trembling breath, surprised that’s my punishment. I thought it would be a lot worse. Did I hear her right? “Two weeks?”
“Yes. If this had happened last year, you definitely would’ve been suspended. No question. But the laws change frequently in our state, and this recent change is to your advantage.” The stern expression on her face tells me I should consider myself lucky this is it. “I explained to them the situation, and the Lockharts are not pleased. They’ve already expressed their feelings in regards to this matter, but there’s nothing else I can do about it. The law is the law. Now get out of here.”
“Thank you,” I say with a jerky nod as I rise to my feet. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Apologize to Cami Lockhart,” she says as I open her office door.
Fat chance that’ll ever happen, I think as I make my way
out of the maze that is the administration and staff offices. I walk through the door that leads to the lobby and spot a few students sitting slumped in the waiting area chairs with dark expressions on their faces. I’m sure they’re anticipating their punishment as well.
Great. Now I’m a bad kid. A bad kid who can’t cheer. Who’ll have to report to Saturday school for the next two weekends. My parents are going to be so pissed.
My phone buzzes in my backpack and I go to the zippered pocket where I keep it and pull it out to find a text from Eli.
What happened?
I type out a quick response.
Suspended from cheer team for two weeks. Maybe longer. Saturday school twice.
Eli: That’s not bad.
Me: I know. Could’ve been worse.
Eli: Chin up babe. Now you can come watch my games.
Meant To Be (The Callahans Book 4) Page 18
