Pulling into the parking lot of a Motel 6 that wasn’t there before, I answered my phone.
“Hey, we just landed. Can I call you when I get settled?”
“It’s okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure you made it. We’re getting ready to head out on the lake and slay some small mouth. Have fun at your thing.”
“Okay, I will. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
“Goodbye, Eric,” I replied in a quiet, faraway tone,like I was saying goodbye forever. Puzzled about why I felt that way, I stepped out of my car.
Once I’d gotten settled in, I showered and dressed in jeans and a Falcons hoodie, hoping to find something familiar to eat. As much as things changed, a lot had stayed the same. One of my favorite places to eat was still in business. The Hero Hutt had the best Italian sub I’d ever eaten. It was between that and a pepperoni roll from Town Hill –the same lunch I had eaten for most of my high school years. Because I wanted to walk around a bit, I chose the sub shop. It wasn’t the same either. The counter had moved, our booth was now a table with chairs, and the checkered floor was now ugly brown tile. Regardless, my sub was amazing, and I ate the whole thing.
I walked around the streets, hoping to run into someone I knew, but there really wasn’t anyone out. Not where I used to hang anyway. The other side of town that used to be nothing more than a corn field was where everyone gathered now. Walking down the streets to all the closed up shops, I felt sad. Even the Coffee Spot had been replaced by a chain. I loved going there with my grams when I was a little girl. They had the best cherry pie, and I would never get to have another piece. The Heck’s store I’d gotten most of my clothes and shoes from was now a country music club, and the grocery store was a giant fitness center. Everything familiar to me had been replaced by a Super Walmart, including the beauty salon I’d gone to with Grams so many times. She would turn over in her grave if she could see this place, I thought.
Thinking about how my Saturday would be spent making myself as presentable as I could, I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed.What I had to work with now, compared to what I had to work with back then, weretwo totally different things. I wasn’t a walking toothpick, my pretty blonde hair was more of a dirty sand color covered by dyes every three months, and there was no way I would even try to do a cartwheel now. Just like the town, I wasn’t the same either, but none of us were. Thanks to Facebook, I knew I wasn’t the only one who’d changed. Just a month or so ago, I looked at Wendy’s photos from her own daughter's wedding, judging her nonexistent chin. She looked like she had a very long neck and no chin. Not to mention the pounds she’d put on, as well. Jan, on the other hand, was still long, lanky, and skinny as a beanpole. I also knew she’d gone through a bout of breast cancer a few years back, but I wasn’t sure what the outcome had been. The only reason I even knew was Facebook and the one year cancer free badge on her timeline. There may have been more than that posted about it, but I had never really been a full time Facebooker. I was lucky if I went there once every couple months or so, and I never posted anything.
That’s one of the many things I’d thought about as I layin bed alone that night, listening to traffic outside my window while worrying about being judged,certain they would do it all in fun. That’s how we all did it back then. Even if you weren’t laughing on the inside, if you laughed on the outside, it excused the bully from being an asshole. Of course, I had been an asshole many times myself, but I never would have admitted itback then. Especially once I was a senior. Tormenting the poor little freshman girls was a normal part of our day for at least the first two weeks of school. It was a couple weeks into our senior year whenRoyal returned, giving us something new and refreshing to focus on.
We’d just sent a little freshman girl, whoasked where to find Mr. Jargan’s class, on a wild goose chase. The nonexistent steps going down to the nonexistent basement. Standing outside by our cars, we watched a group of break dancers mess around at lunch, laughing at the gullible little girl. Johnny had his arm around me and moved into his own story of a new kid in shop class, but I didn’t hear a word he said. Something about gluing his books to his workstation. Without even knowing he was there, I turned out of Johnny’s arms and looked straight at Royal.
A burning desire to run up to him and wrap my arms around him was so strong I could barely contain myself. My emotions were suddenly all over the place, and I didn’t understand why. I hadn’t seen him since we were in third grade, but that didn’t even matter. In a weird way, I felt relieved, like I was home, or I’d just come out of some horrible tragedy, and now I was okay. I felt...free.
I stopped laughing with everyone else, watching him walk toward an old beat up motorcycle, but then Wendy saw him, too. A burning desire to run up to him and wrap my arms around him was so strong I could barely contain myself.“Oh, my God. Look, Jess. Remember that smelly little kid from elementary? We went to school with him for a minute in third grade. Remember? That’s him. What was his name? Ahhh, what was it? It was a weird name.”
“Royal.”
“The idiot has sideburns,” Johnny said, his arm drooping over my shoulder again while everyone but me continued to laugh.
With cat like precision, Wendy pulled me with her to the new prey. Only, I didn’t like it this time. “Come on. Let’s go get reacquainted.”
Still, I went, but it wasn’t like I had much choice. I knew how this worked and even though I was popular in school, I knew how quick I could lose the title. Jodi Helmick was a prime example. One second she was head cheerleader, and the next she wasn’t. All because of the punk style she decided she was into halfway through junior year. She was by far the best cheerleader we ever had because of her years ingymnastics, but none of that mattered. Not even to Ms. Gresko. There was no room for anyone with spiked hair and a tattoo on any of the Wild Cat’s teams. Nobody even talked to her anymore. Her group of friends went from the most popular to the nobodies in the blink of an eye. I wasn’t about to let some boy I used to know take that away from me. I’d worked too hard to get here.
Even though I was never really into cheering for the football team, two of my best friends were, and with that, along withme and my other best friend scoring all the shots in basketball, I had earned my status.
I did try to convince her to leave him alone though. Of course, she didn’t, and neither did Johnny. “Come on, Wendy. Leave him alone.”
“What? I’m just going to say hi.”
I’ll never forget the look on Royal’s face that day. His eyes lit up like the Vegas strip as we strolled toward him, but I pretended not to see him. I pretended he wasn’t grinning from ear to ear.
Johnny put his arm over my shoulders and slapped his books right out of his hands. “Oh, I’m sorry, your Royal Hind-Ass, did you drop something?”
“What’s your problem, man?” Royal questioned, his smiledissipating and his eyes losing their sparkle.
Of course, I tried not to notice. I didn’t do anything at all, and the only way I even acknowledged him was holding a fake smile while my friends gave him a hard time.
Mostly Wendy, but Jan and Leigh helped as well, calling him ‘Pig Pen’ and making fun of where he lived. “Just because you shit in an outhouse and don’t have running water doesn’t mean you can’t take a bath. God, I hope I don’t have any classes with you.”
“I’m not smelling your stinking ass all year either,” Jan stated.
He didn’t even smell bad. Actually, he smelled really good, but not like Johnny. This wasn’t a Calvin Klein or English Leather kind of smell. This was more natural, like sage or something very distinctive. While my Royal tried to eat his sandwich, my friends gave him a hard time, and I just stood there without saying a word.
When the first bell rang, warning us all to get back inside, I pulled Johnny by his hand. “Come on, I have to stop at my locker.”
We all walked away talking about the homecoming game, tuning Royal out like he didn’t eve
n exist. Including me. Even though my heart was heavy, and I didn’t want to say goodbye yet, I did. I did because they did. Until he called after me anyway.
“Jessie?” he exclaimed in a questioning tone.
My heart started beating so hard it wasn’t even funny. I couldn’t believe he was calling me out like this in front of everyone, but even more, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Turning to look at him, I read the expression on his face, and I still wanted to run up and give him a big giant hug, but I couldn’t. Even though he stood out like a sore thumb, I felt something unexplainable, a connection I hadn’t realized was missing. He really did have sideburns and long, Elvis-like,dark hair. Way longer than any other guy in the school. His shirt was made of white cotton with some sort of blue Indian embroidery print around the sleeves, the neck, and even the waist. While the rest of the school wore tucked in alligator shirts, Royal wore something from another era,like he was stuck in the sixties.
A tug of war began battling inside me on who I was supposed to be loyal to,but it didn’t even matter. I didn’t have to say a word. Johnny had him pinned against Mark Wilson’s truck in two point seven seconds. Undoubtedly, everyone within earshot congregated, chanting the same word over and over. Fight, fight, fight, fight. Only there was no fight. Royal didn’t do a thing. He let Johnny pin his back against the front fender with an arm onhis throat, threatening to beat him within an inch of his life if he ever talked to me again.
And I just stood there.
My eyes opened Saturday morning to the beeping of a truck backing up in the parking lot. Not only was Royal the last thing I thought of when I went to bed, he was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if I would have chosen him that day. With a deep sigh, I swallowed and reminded myself once again how silly I was being. That was high school. So many years ago, and I was sure Royal wasn’t sitting around cutting himself over me. He,too,was more than likely married with a family. Still, it didn’t make me feel any better, remembering me just stepping aside while my friends picked on him. I tried my best to make sure we stayed clear of him, and I was never the one to say anything, but that was about the extent of my part in keeping my friends from picking on Royal.
I only pretended like he was someone I used to know.
Chapter Five
Although I had the entire day to get ready, five o’clock was there before I knew it. I’d planned on doing a drive by up the holler, past mine, and Royal’s old houses, but time got away from me. I really wanted to have my nails done, and the only place I could find had a line. I wondered if that were a sign as Itook a seat to wait. Maybe I was taking this whole costume thing a little too far, but even if I was, I waited. Picking up a magazine from the table, I flipped to an article about the new American Idol, reflecting more on my dream of Royal and that time in my life.
Even though we’d never really talked, we were still connected in a way I couldn’t understand. I still caught myself watching him, and I caught him doing the same many, many times. Royal wasn’t about to speak to me, and that bothered me. That gave me the right to blame him and not me. In my eyes, that made it okay to pretend like he was nothing more than a kid I’d once played with. If he would have stood up for himself once in a while, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten picked on so much. Even when we were little kids, Royal was hardly ever the one calling the shots. He just did what I told him to do. That bothered me, too. Not one girl I knew wanted anything to do with a guy who wouldn’teven fight back. Certainly not me. Not that I thought about him in that way.
Saturday seemed to be the day everyone in Grainsville had their hair and nails done. Once again, I had to wait, but rather than listening to my logical mind and bypassing that part, I sat down and stuck around. I did see it as another sign to stop all this nonsense, but it wasn’t strong enough to make me get up and walk out. I’d come this far, and I was beginning to understand why. Sort of. Little things I’d taken as signs, and things Roxy had said to me, began to make more sense. There was one reason I wanted to go to this thing, and that was for someone whoprobably wouldn’t even be there.
While I sat in the chair and waited for my hair to be tediously painted and wrapped in foil, I thought about what I would say to him, wondering if he would be in a costume. Wondering even more if he would be in a tux and a Jason mask. “God, I can’t believe I did that.”
“Excuse me?” the young girl doing my hair questioned.
“Oh, sorry. Not you. I was just thinking out loud.”
“Oh, did what?” she noisily pressed.
I smiled at her through the mirror, investigating her heritage. “Who’re your parents?”
“My parents?”
“Yeah, your dad didn’t go to his senior prom in a Jason mask, did he?”
“Um, no. My parents live in Texas. My husband’s from here.”
“Oh, well in that case, I lost my v-card to a guy in a Jason mask. There were three of them at our senior prom.”
“Oh, who? That’s the juiciest story I’ve heard in a long time. I want details. Tell me. Tell me.”
I blew out a quick puff of air and half chuckled. “There’s not much to tell. It was the night of our prom, and we all dressed up. My boyfriend was a Jason and although all of our friends thought we had already done it, we hadn’t. Not that he didn’t try the entire year. I promised him if we were still together come prom, I would.”
“But you don’t know if it was him? I’m confused. Why so many Jason’s?”
I shrugged, reminding her of the year. “This is the eighties we’re talking about. He was the thing to be back then, I guess.”
“It wasn’t him, was it?”
I shrugged, but I didn’t lie to myself the way I had before. “I don’t know.”
“Were you drunk?”
“Not even a little.”
“Drugged?”
“No, it was nothing like that.”
“Where? How?”
Laughing at her overzealous enthusiasm, I repeated thestory out loud for the first time in my life. Even Eric thought I lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart. There wereonly two people who knew about me and the mysterious Jason. Me and Jason. “I was looking for my boyfriend Johnny. Someone said he went outside sothat’s where I went.”
“Then what happened?”
I hesitated for a moment, thinking about that night. “He came from out of nowhere and pulled me inside the empty limo we all arrived in.”
The girl gasped, pausing the wrapping she was supposed to be doing on my hair. “You lost your virginity to a guy in a tuxedo and a Jason mask in the back of a limo? That’s freaking awesome.”
Laughing about it was easy now but not then. Then I was humiliated and couldn’t believe I’d given my virtue to someone who may or may not have been my boyfriend. “It wasn’t your boyfriend, was it?”
With a deep breath, I shrugged. “Maybe. I broke up with him the very next day.”
“Was it at least memorable?”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve been waiting my entire life to feel like that again, and it just never happened. Of course, I have been married to the same man for a thousand years. It wasn’t like I looked much. You know?”
“It wasn’t him. You wouldn’t have broken up with someone who gave you something you would spend the rest of your life looking for. Right?”
“I wouldn’t say I’ve spent my entire life looking for it. I’m just saying it was...cosmic, something I’m not really sure was real. My thirtieth reunion is in a few hours. That’s why I’m having my hair done. We’re dressing up in replicas of that night.”
“Oh, my God. This sounds like one of those Nicholas Spark stories. Will he be there?”
Again, I could only shrug and hope. “I’m not sure. I hope so.”
“You know who the other two Jason’s are though, right?”
“No clue. I’m pretty sure the one in the limo was a friend from my childhood. I wasn’t really nice to him whe
n he returned our senior year though, so it could have been the third one, but I doubt it.”
“Why? Why do you doubt it?”
“Because I’m pretty sure he was a she.”
“Oh… it had to be your friend then. Are you going to ask him?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’m not even sure what the hell I’m doing here to tell you the truth. I haven’t been back in thirty years.”
“How will I know? You have to come and tell me tomorrow. Please. Will you?”
I laughed and agreed, but I doubted I would. “Okay, sure. I’m staying right around the corner anyway.”
While my new friend Tanya talked and finished my hair, I let my mind drift back to that night.
It was pitch black out, and I could barely see my feet. I walked toward the limo because I saw his white mask. “Johnny. This isn’t funny. Where are you?
“Johnny?
“I’m going back inside.
“Come on, Johnny. Knock it off.”
A quick hand across my mouth kept me from screaming, and a body bigger than mine kept me from moving. “Shhhh,” he hummed, slowly moving his hand from my mouth.
I could feel the plastic mask on my cheek, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck, but neither of us spoke. The only noise I heard was a laugh in the distance and his heavy breath behind the mask. Something I couldn’t control came over me, and I felt like I was falling. My stomach felt like I was on the zero gravity part of a rollercoaster and it never left the entire time. His hands laced with mine, and then traced my arms all the way to my throat, calloused thumbs tracingmy lips, and his hot breath brushed with mine.
Not once did I say his name. Maybe because I was afraid he’d run if I spoke the wrong name.He opened the door and backed me in. I was blinded by something out of this world, and I’d never felt electricity in my body the way I did when he touched me. My heart beat wildly behind my chest, but not out of fear. Even after he locked the doors, I wasn’t afraid. Not that I could have fought had I wanted to. I was way too high to want to come down now.
Once Upon Another Time Page 7
