“You know that cat hasn’t got any idea what’s you’re talking about" Damon’s voice chimes in, I gasp in surprise “Damon you’re awake?” I ask and walk to his side, “where’s April?” he asks, “she’s in her room, did you want to see her?” I ask trying to hide my surprise, “I would but maybe later on when I feel more myself, have you been here this whole time?” he asks with a grin, “of course I have, I thought you were going to die!” I exclaim.
“That’s a little over dramatic don’t you think?” he chuckles and winces slightly, “you had a knife stuck in you I don’t think my reaction is over dramatic in any way" I pout in annoyance, “I’m worried about April, I know she struggles with mum passing and all but this is insane even for her" I nod in agreement, “maybe we should have seen it? She was a mess after your mum died, then she went psycho on the zombies when we first went back out, plus that news of your dad coming back, that would be hard for anyone to handle so maybe we should have been there for her more, maybe we could’ve prevented this?” Damon reaches for my hand, “we can’t change the past, now we know there’s a problem we can try and fix it or at least ease her pain in some way” he smiles reassuringly.
“What about your pain?” I ask, “I think they gave me something so it doesn’t hurt too bad” I shake my head, “I mean your trauma pain, with everything that’s happened how are you holding up?”
“I’m okay considering, sometimes it does all get on top of me, but I’ve been powering through and I’m dealing", I sigh in relief, “so no stabbing from you anytime soon?” I joke, he chuckles “no murderous tendencies here".
Chapter 6
April’s POV
I sit alone in my room angry and embarrassed at myself for what I’ve done, I can’t believe I stabbed my own brother, what has my mind come to that has made me do such a thing? One minute I’m being swarmed by zombies that were talking to me and the next Damon had a knife sticking out of his gut and everybody is just staring at me, Noah has come to see me a few times but I’ve struggled to hold much of a conversation, what is wrong with me? I started to feel a darker part of me, I started to even like it, but I never wanted to hurt anyone I love.
There’s a knock at my door, Noah walks into the room with a sympathetic smile, “how are you doing?” he asks, “better" I reply with a shrug, “Damon’s going to be okay, he’ll just be asleep for a while", I feel relieved and smile back in appreciation, “that’s good news, I’m glad", Noah walks into my room and sits on the edge of my bed, “with what happened I think for now we should hold off on whatever’s going on between us, and Sam thinks for now you should spend some time apart from everyone, I’ll obviously still come to see you, but they want you to just stay in your room until we can figure out what’s going on" the positive feeling I had starts to sink, they don’t trust me anymore, and why would they I nearly killed someone, I just nod in response feeling the loneliness seeping in again.
After some time Noah leaves again and I’m just alone with my thoughts, the worst part is this isn’t the first episode I’ve had, when Damon forced me to go out after mum died I had an episode when I was attacking that zombie, I thought mum was in trouble and I was trying to protect her, I’m lucky I snapped out of it when Damon grabbed me, maybe I should have told them at that time what was happening, but lately I feel alone in all this, that no one else will understand what I’m going through.
Maybe I’m being selfish, Sam is scared and worried and I’m making it all about me, maybe I’m better off out there alone so I can’t get in anyone’s way anymore, Sam and Damon have each other it’s not like they need me, maybe I should have perished with my mum.
I decide on my plan to leave and wait for night to come, once the house has darkened I slowly and quietly peer around my door, the hallway is empty and quiet, I quietly walk down the hallway and the stairs, I take a breath of relief as I reach the door to the garden, “bit late for a stroll, don’t you think?” a voice causes me to jump, I turn to find the Colonel sat in the darkness, “but I also get the feeling with that big bag it’s going to be a long walk" I glance to my backpack knowing I’ve been busted, “I have to go" I mutter and turn back to the door, “it’s locked, and the gates are pin protected so you’ll struggle I think" the chair creaks as he stands, “I need to go" I repeat, “I heard what happened, but you can’t just run away from your problems".
I roll my eyes and sigh in annoyance “I’m not running away... well actually I am but it’s the safest option, I might go psycho again and hurt someone else and it’s not like I’ll be missed anyway" Colonel is quiet for some time “if you go, what will you do?, you’re not strong enough to survive on your own" I turn to face him again, “then I guess I’ll die", he seems a little taken aback by my comment, “so it’s a suicide mission" he responds his voice a little sad, realising it’s no use to try and escape I drop my bad to the floor and slide down beside it, “I just hate being useless and a nuisance" I grumble, “look kid I know it’s going to take a lot for you to ever see me as your father, but I’d like to help you, I can make you strong so if you are determined to leave you’ll at least have the skills and strength to survive, go back to bed training starts early" he says and disappears into the darkness again, “training?” I question but receive no response.
The next morning, I awake to loud banging at my door, I groggily answer the door to find Colonel stood wide awake and dressed in his usual army attire, “what time is it?” I yawn “5am it’s time for training" he answers and I groan from how early it is, “I said we’d be training so let’s go" he demands I sigh and excuse myself to get dressed, when I return Colonel is still stood in the same place awaiting impatiently, “took you long enough, hurry now" he leads the way down the stairs and to the library, “I thought we were training not reading" I sigh in annoyance, he doesn’t reply and pulls back one of the books, there is a click sound and the entire shelf parts to reveal a hidden room, “am I still asleep?” I ask unsure why I didn’t know about this secret room earlier, he chuckles “most of the people here have jobs such as cooking and cleaning therefore they have no need to train so I installed this secret area myself" he explains, I follow him into the dark room and the shelf closes behind us, after a moment the pitch black room is engulfed in light, weapons are hung on each wall, a punching bag and dummies are dotted around the room, with targets for shooting on another side of the room, the room is much larger than expected.
“Won’t we wake everyone up if we do training?” I ask, Colonel shakes his head “not at all it's sound proof so you can play music too" I nod in understanding still taking in that such a room exists in this house, “so first let’s start with your reflexes there’s no point using weapons until you know how to defend yourself" he explains and leads me to a clear area with only training mats, and out of nowhere he throws hits, punches and kicks my way, all of them hit me knocking me to the floor, “what was that?!” I exclaim in anger, “you have zero reflexes” he replies with a disappointed look on his face “you didn’t block any of my advances" he explains “I didn’t know you were going to attack me!” I yell “that’s where we need to improve you have to learn to defend yourself from unknown attacks, sometimes zombies can sneak attack and sometimes zombies aren’t always the problem" he explains calmly unfazed by my yelling, “what do you mean?” I ask, do I have to worry about things other than zombies attacking me now?
“Not all people will help you or be kind to you, some people have become angry and selfish in this world, some of them may attack you for supplies in their mind it’s kill or be killed, and it’s a mind-set you will need to take on yourself" he explains, I become quiet as I realise how dark the world has become, I was aware not everyone is nice before but after everything that’s happened it’s unbelievable to think humanity isn’t trying to work together and help each other out.
Colonel continues his lesson for a few more hours until 9am, then he allows me to return to my room since I’m bruised and exhausted and promises m
y lessons will continue tomorrow once again at the break of dawn, I arrive at my room just as everyone is starting to wake up and head to breakfast I’m about to do the same when I remember what Noah said yesterday, I sigh and settle back on my bed and decide to get some more sleep, just as I’m falling into a deep sleep I’m interrupted by a knocking at my door and groan thinking Colonel has changed his mind and wants to do more training, I answer the door to find Sam smiling back at me not as beaming as usual but still friendly, “hi" I greet her trying to avoid her eyes the guilt from yesterday’s events creeping back in, “hi I thought I’d bring you breakfast” she replies, I let her come into my room and she places the food at my desk, “how’s Damon?” I ask unsure how else I could of asked other than directly, I think I see a flicker of anger on her face but it’s gone as quickly as it was there, “he’s doing okay he’s mostly been sleeping" she replies her voice colder than I’m used to, “how are you?” she asks slightly more compassion in her voice, “I didn’t really sleep but I’m okay" I reply unsure what else to say, “I’m really sorry for what happened, I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why it happened, I just hope Damon knows I’d never hurt him on purpose, and I get why you want me separate for a while" I blurt out fumbling over my words in a panic, she smiles a genuine smile, “of course no one thinks you’d ever hurt anyone intentionally, I just wish we’d noticed something earlier, everything with your mum, and your dad coming back must have been a lot for your mind to process" she replies, “I guess but you could say the same about Damon and he’s not gone around trying to cut people" I laugh nervously.
“Everyone takes loss differently, I think you took it a lot harder than he did so it’s affected you differently, he wants to see you, you know" she says and sits on my bed, “he does, why?” I ask confused why my brother would even want anything to do with me after everything that happened.
Although Sam seems to be acting friendly and understanding I can sense the anger inside her ready to burst but she’s such an expert at controlling her emotions from the outside she seems perfectly calm, “he’s in his room if you want to see him, I’ll be there since I’m taking care of him but I’ll leave the room if you want some alone time with him" she states her eyes still cold looking, I nod “thanks I’ll think about it" I reply but I don’t know if I’ll go, I’m not sure why he’d ever want to see me again after what I did, I’m feeling guilty as it is seeing him in that state will just make me feel worse.
“I guess I’ll leave you for now” Sam smiles and walks to the door “you know you could think about someone else for a change, he’s wanting to see you after what you did and if you deny him that you’re more selfish than I thought" she closes the door behind her with a slam and I’m left in shock, she’s never spoke to me that way before, she’s never shown anger or coldness the way she is now, I know I did something awful but I wasn’t in my right mind, she has to know that.
Sam’s POV
I sigh and relax my muscles after leaving April’s room my anger deflating, I feel a pang of guilt for what I’ve said to her but I know she needed me to be truthful, after all she hurt Damon and can’t just shrug that off with no repercussions, I open the door to Damon’s room to find him sat up reading, he smiles when I enter making all the anger I felt more moments ago disappear, “did you speak to April?” he asks placing the book down, “I did, you’re reading that’s an unusual sight" I joke, I can read you know!” he exclaims, I try to hide my laughter with a cough until his face becomes serious, “what did she say?” he asks, “she doesn’t want to see you, she’s trying to make it all about herself" I sigh, Damon’s face falls “oh right, I mean it must have been hard on her she’s probably feeling guilty" he mumbles trying to play off the hurt he’s feeling, “and so she should she has a lot to make up for and avoiding you won’t help anything" I reply crossing my arms in annoyance, “she wasn’t in her right mind” Damon says his voice sounding angry, “did you ever stop to think it was intentional, she doesn’t like us together and she’s trying to separate us, I think she wanted to hurt me and you just got in the way!” the room goes quiet as Damon processes my words, “you’re insane" he laughs humourlessly, “no she is!” I shout.
“Look if you want to take her side fine, but what kind of sister doesn’t check on her brother when he’s hurt, especially when she’s the one behind the hurt" I shout and leave his room, he calls after me but I ignore him, “hopefully he’ll see her for who she is, a monster that wants to rip us apart" I huff to myself as I walk back to my room.
Damon’s POV
I sit in bed thinking over what Sam said, she doesn’t really think April is so cold hearted she would try and rip us apart would she? I hear a timid knock at the door expecting it to be Sam to apologise for her outburst, “hey can I come in?” asks April stood in front of the partially open door, “of course please do" I smile, she complies but avoids my eyes “how have you been?” I ask her “I’ve been okay, are you okay?” she asks finally looking at me “yeah it hurts a bit but I’m alright" I reply, she seems deep in thought for a moment, “when you freaked out that night, were you trying to hurt Sam?” I ask hating myself for even thinking this way for a moment, “what? No I had no idea what I was doing, I thought I was fighting off zombies" she explains a fearful look on her face “I shouldn’t have asked that sorry, I would understand if you’re unhappy me and Sam are spending so much time together though" she looks at me confused, “spending lots of time together? Are you guys dating or something?” she asks.
“I thought you knew...” I mumble confused, she suddenly beams at me “gosh finally, the back and forth with you guys was exhausting to watch even though it was obvious you both liked each other" I smile in relief, “so you’re not mad we’re together?” I ask, she laughs “quite the opposite actually, I’ve known she’s had a thing for you for years, always wanting to come to my house when we saw each other and she always asked about you, I was kind of rooting for you guys" after she says this I’m filled with even more confusion, why would Sam think April was against us if she didn’t even know about us?
“So, are we good?” April asks timidly “of course we weren’t ever not good, I know it wasn’t your fault what happened, Sam just said something and I just had to ask" I sigh, “I think she’s mad at me, she’s been kind of cold to me" I have a bad feeling at Sam’s behaviour, she’s not usually like this her personality is warm and fun and kind, but we’ve both seen a completely new toxic side to her which is difficult to digest.
“I’m going to talk to her, the way she’s acting is a little bit concerning, and kind of manipulative which is completely unfair, I don’t want to assume the worst of her but it’s like she’s trying to pit us against each other" April nods in agreement, we say our goodbyes and she promises to visit more.
I wince as I stand to my feet using my crutch Noah gave me, “Sam?” I ask knocking on her door, it swings open to reveal a smiling Sam a polar opposite to the girl who spoke to me earlier, “oh are you okay? I should have come to you to help” she says with a worried look on her face, she helps me into her room and onto her bed, “do you need anything?” she asks sweetly, “I’m okay I just wanted to talk to you about earlier" she sighs, “I’m sorry about that, I was being way too harsh and I know April didn’t mean what she did to you, I guess I was just so worried about you I got a little protective that came out as anger" I nod in understanding still confused at the complete personality switch, it’s a side I’ve never seen and I’m sure April has never seen.
“that’s okay, I understand you must have been stressed with everything everyone snaps from time to time" I smile back at her happier that she seems to be back to how she usually is, “I’m glad you understand, that’s what I love about you you’re so understanding, how about we just lie together for a while and de-stress from the last couple of hours events?” she asks I nod in agreement as she curls up beside me.
April’s POV
I jump awake to a knocking sound, I l
ook around the room and sigh in relief upon realising I’m back in my room safe, there’s a knock again I leave my bed and open the door to find Colonel as he was the morning before “again? Don’t I get a day off?” I whisper “this is only day two you slacker, get ready for a new lesson" I groan and close the door to get dressed in my tired state, its pitch black outside and the clock reads 5am once again on the wall and I feel sad knowing I won’t get a lie in again for a very long time.
I reopen the door and Colonel leads me to the library and through the secret door, “yesterday we worked on your god awful reflexes, now today we’ll do muscle strength, you’re a weak skinny girl which we need to change" he says in a judgemental tone prodding my flat stomach, “hey! I’m really strong, I’ll have you know I was the house’s designated jar opener!” I exclaim in an incredible proud tone but soon feel embarrassed by that statement, Colonel scoffs “we have a lot of work to do" he pulls out boxing gloves and orders me to use them on the dummy on one end of the room, “well what are you waiting for? Go on" I roll my eyes at his constant orders, but in a way, he reminds me of mum I wonder how alike they were when they were together.
I pound my fists into the dummy but I’m knocked backwards when the blow I give out is returned by the swinging dummy, Colonel emits an almighty laugh I blow some hair from my face, “part of attacking is control and well... you possess none" he laughs again I stand up with a scowl brushing off invisible dust, “I’ve attacked loads of zombies, I saved us when they attacked at my school with just a bat as a weapon!” I shout feeling my face heat up in anger, Colonel smiles and orders me to continue my assault with more control, I throw punches and kicks to the zombie dodging most of the blow back until I get to cocky and grin back at Colonel and fail to notice the blow back again that launches me across the room once again this time knocking the wind out of me.
Infection Z Page 5
