“That ain’t the same thing,” Meagan yelled at him. “I don’t have in-house dick nowhere else but with William. I get mine on the side because he’s been doing it from the jump. Don’t make it sound like what we’re doing is one and the same, because it’s not.” She let the handle on the back door snap back into place and then crossed her arms in front of her as a defensive mechanism. Meagan had finally realized Angelo wasn’t going to unlock the car door, and they were too far away from the condos for her to walk back in heels at that point.
“Question,” Angelo said, breaking the silence. “If he has been cheating on you from the jump, why have you stayed with him this long? He’s whupping your ass, and you haven’t busted a move yet. What are you staying for? I know you don’t think after all these years, his old ass is going to up and change. Y’all hoes kill me with that shit. A man isn’t going to change once you’ve shown him you will accept his shit. That’s a freebie from the man code, so you’re welcome.”
“Take me to Waffle House and watch your mouth. I’m far from being a ho,” Meagan barked, completely ignoring his question. She knew the answer to it but didn’t feel like Angelo was worthy of knowing it. Truth was, she was scared to be left alone in the world. Her mother was dead, she didn’t have any siblings to help her get over a breakup, and William was all she had ever known. He had made her into the successful woman she was.
Although William credited her with his success, it was his drive that had made him achieve his goals. He made the plans, and she was his cheerleader, water girl, and whatever else he needed as he struck out to see them through. He had made her major in business to use her as a tool for his success, but that wasn’t her life’s dream. The only dream Meagan had was to be William’s wife. He had even forced upon her owning her own modeling agency. William had convinced her that if she lost her childhood weight, she would be pretty enough to model, and once she’d been on her way to the top, he had made her stop and turn to managing others. He dictated her life, and without his direction, Meagan knew she would be lost.
She dug in her purse, retrieved a joint out of her holder, and sparked it up as the limo came to a stop in the Waffle House’s parking lot. She smoked the joint longer than usual and then offered it to Angelo.
“I’m straight. I smoke, but not when I have to drive for you,” he told her, declining the offer.
“Well, shit has changed. The new rule is if I smoke, you smoke,” she said, offering him the joint and pulling out another one. He took it this time and started smoking.
“Why are you helping me?” she asked. “Don’t lie and say it’s to keep the job with more pay. You don’t like me, and you know how I feel about your smart ass. So why help me out?”
“Shit,” he said before pulling on the joint until it went out. “I owe you for not jumping over the seat and beating his ass for putting his hands on you.” He sparked the lighter, lit up the joint, and pulled on it softer. He released the weed smoke from his lungs as he said, “Y’all both ain’t shit for the cheating, but he’s a real bitch for putting his hands on you. That morning I had to pull over really fucked me up. I ain’t never seen anything like that shit before.”
Meagan knew the morning he was referencing. It was the morning she had decided to check her voicemail on speakerphone as she and William rode together in the limo. There had been nothing for her to hide, because the men she crept with didn’t have her office phone number or know where she really worked. She had gone through four business messages and then had activated her speakerphone and placed her phone next to her on the seat in order to jot down notes and reminders from the calls. If she had known Jerell—yes, the world-famous underwear model—had finally got the balls to flirt back, she wouldn’t have done it.
“Hey, Meagan. This is Jerell. I . . . Well, I wanted you to know that I’ve been enjoying working close to you these past few months, and it’s starting to bother me that this will be our last week together. I know this might sound crazy, but there’s a chemistry between—”
Meagan reached out to grab the phone and shut him up by ending the call, but William’s open hand met her face before she could.
“Let the shit play, as a matter of fact. Start it over,” he growled.
“Why? So you can beat me because another man decided to flirt with me? You might not find me attractive anymore, so you don’t see it, but I get flirted with every day. I’m a model, for Christ’s sake. Stop beating my ass off of what somebody else does. I can’t control his feelings.”
“You were a model. Now you’re an agent. But I see you don’t know the difference. You’re at that job, doing more than agent work. Niggas don’t leave messages like that because the bitch is cute. They leave them when they’ve been doing a lot of communicating and spending time. That’s how you build chemistry, you lying-ass bitch.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you would know.”
William’s arm shot up like dick to its first piece of pussy, and then his hand grabbed her neck. “There it goes, that smart, disrespectful little mouth of yours. Didn’t I tell you to watch how you talk to me?” he said, shaking her while taking off his belt with his free hand. “I gave you the money to start that business, and you use it like a motel, with a bisexual nigga at that.”
“No I don’t. I don’t have sex with my employees or clients. Can you say the same?” she retorted while trying to wiggle her way out of his grip.
William had the belt folded tightly in his hand by the ends, ensuring the buckle was tucked into his palm. She had squirmed enough to get out of his reach. All she had to do now was dart out of the limo door, and she’d find safety in the oncoming traffic. Three of her fingers were wrapped around the door handle; however, freedom never came. William cocked the belt back home run style and swatted Meagan across the face with it.
“Hey, boss,” Angelo mumbled.
“Hey, boss, nothing. Roll up the partition and drive us home.”
“But, boss!”
“That’s right. I’m your boss, and I hired you to do what?”
Angelo didn’t answer. He didn’t know if he should pull over and beat William’s old ass or do as he was told. He searched Meagan’s face for the answer, but it was emotionless. He reached for his seat belt, and Meagan reached for the button to roll the partition up herself.
William beat her with the belt as Meagan sang a heartbreaking song of pain through her yells and screams. He had beaten her with a belt plenty of times, but not like this. He had always used caution when it came to hitting her and leaving marks in visible places. His reputation was a concern, and he’d go the extra mile to keep it intact. That didn’t mean there hadn’t been a few “accidents” that left Meagan with a busted lip or a bruise or two on her face. However, today he overreacted due to his own bruised ego and guilt. He swung the belt, and wherever it landed was its unforeseen destiny, and that wasn’t the worst part. The rush of power he felt from disciplining his wife recklessly turned him on. Not only did he make Meagan suck on him the rest of the ride home, but he also called Mr. Underwear model and left a message full of Meagan’s fake moans as he rammed his fingers inside her. It was degrading more than embarrassing to Meagan, and since Angelo was a witness to the violence, the thought of using cabs from then on crossed her mind.
Yes, she knew the exact morning Angelo was talking about as the two of them smoked joints in the limo.
“Like I said, I ain’t never seen no shit like that, and I feel like a ho for watching and not beating his ass, but that’s what you wanted,” he said. “You didn’t have to roll the shit up, but you wanted to save him from getting the ass whipping you were getting. Real talk, I’d kill him, but I don’t like you enough to go to jail for you.”
“And you said all of that to say what?” she asked, rolling her eyes at him. “You don’t owe me shit.”
“You’re right, I don’t, but I feel like you deserve to get a check for all those beatdowns, though. Anybody who goes up against the boxing champion gets a chec
k. Why not help you get yours? Shit, if you hit the lotto in divorce court, I don’t want you to forget about me.”
“Hmm . . . ,” she hummed, taking in everything Angelo had said. She could see him helping for money, but when it came to everything else he had mentioned, he could have saved the words he invested. “You’re real good with words. I’m impressed. Although I trust you to be exactly who you’ve shown me you are, which is a hustling, shit-talking piece of shit, I don’t trust you. Make sure you don’t forget that.”
“Photographic memory. It’s saved.”
Though he kept it to himself, Angelo was just as stressed out over their arrangement as Meagan. She didn’t know how treacherous her husband was, but he knew. If Angelo’s partnership with Meagan failed, he would be signing his own death sentence.
Part Two
Disrespectfully Mine
Chapter Three
Eleven thirty wasn’t coming fast enough. Meagan was becoming frustrated with each check of the clock. Her morning had been straight from hell, and the only thing that would make it better was the meeting with William, Clara, and her mother. She and William had had a nasty falling-out after his wife and the bitch that birthed her had left. She had confronted him about fucking her mother, and without hesitation, he had put Meagan in her place.
“Where my dick goes isn’t any of your business until I’m married to you. I don’t owe you shit. I didn’t want you to find out that way, but I also gave you the day off. Your mother and I have been fucking around for years, and the meeting today isn’t just for Clara. It’s for her too. I’m done with both of their asses, because I chose you. Now, you can woman up and deal with the shit, or you can be a little girl about it and find yourself a new man. What’s it going to be?”
“Who else are you fucking?” Meagan couldn’t think of anything better to say.
“Again, that isn’t any of your fucking business until you get my last name. All you need to know is, after today you are the only one who is getting this dick.”
“What? It is my business. You sound dumb as fuck. Now, stop acting like a bitch and—”
William cocked his hand back and struck Meagan in the mouth with his closed fist. Instantly, her blood leaked onto her clothes as her lip swelled.
“I see we have a respect issue, little girl, but I know how to fix it,” William shouted at her as he unbuckled his belt. With his free hand, he grabbed Meagan by the arm, spun her around, and started spanking her across her butt and legs with his belt.
She yelled out in horror, “Stop hitting me!”
The louder she screamed, the faster he swung his belt. He spanked her into silence as her cries got stuck in her throat. She attempted to run and almost got away, but William’s reach was long, and he managed to grab the hair that dangled from her ponytail. After wrapping her locks around his hand, he pulled her back to him and continued striking her with his belt until he saw the puddle of urine she was standing in and the wet piss stain on her pants.
“Now get your ass in there and put on a clean uniform. You have five minutes to get that stove going and the coffee brewing. And while you’re at it, ice that lip. I don’t want to hear shit else about where my dick has been, you understand me?”
Meagan nodded her head yes as she suppressed her sniffles.
Hours after her birthday party, Meagan lay in bed, with tears keeping her company as she recollected when William’s beatings had first begun. No matter how hard she wished she had ended it then, the reality of it was that she hadn’t. Nowhere in the lessons she had received from her mother or godmother did it mention what to do about a man who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. The ugly reality was, William had never hit Clara. Meagan hadn’t been around them for every tick of the clock, but she knew Clara, and Clara wasn’t going to take anyone’s shit. The way she used to check William in front of anyone and everyone they were around had caused Meagan to feel sorry for him, because he had never defended himself. Clara had even gotten into the habit of throwing stuff at him, sometimes directly at his unprotected face. Meagan wasn’t sure if it was fear or respect that had made William keep his hands off his late wife, but she wished whatever it was, she would have inherited it.
She hurriedly dried her tears on her sheets, because this was the life she had chosen, and her tears wouldn’t wash it away or grant her a do-over. It is time for a change, she repeated in her head until she found comfort in those words and they put her to sleep.
“It’s a boy,” the doctor announced.
Meagan had no clue whom he was talking to. Only seconds ago, she had been crying into her pillow in bed, and now she was in a hospital room, with a doctor, two nurses, and someone in scrubs, whose back was turned. Oddly, there was a large picture window and people were packed together in front of it and were snapping pictures of everything in the room.
“Where am I, and why are they taking pictures?” she asked.
“You’re in the hospital, sweetheart. You just gave birth to your son.” one of the nurses replied, but her back was turned now, too, and Meagan couldn’t see her face.
“I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. Isn’t that what the doctors told us, William?”
The man whose face she had yet to see was handed the crying newborn baby and was congratulated as the father.
“Thank you. I’m so glad my son is here. She’s been holding him hostage for nine months. Ain’t that right, little nigga?” The voice didn’t sound familiar, and the size of this man’s body was nothing like William’s.
“I wouldn’t call it holding him hostage. That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?” said the other nurse. This was the first time she had uttered a word, and when she turned around, Meagan saw that it was her mother.
“Yeah, let’s say she was baking him for a long-ass time,” joked the first nurse, and then she laughed. Meagan knew that voice. It was Clara.
“William, is that you?” Meagan said in a low voice.
“Baby, who are you talking about?” the man replied.
“You!” she yelled.
“I don’t get the question, beautiful.”
“Then turn around and look at me. Is that you, William?” Meagan screamed.
“Only you know if that’s William,” her mother said quickly before bursting into flames. “Is that who you want him to be?”
“I think she does, Rita. She wanted us out of the picture, so she can have him to herself,” Clara noted now. Then she chuckled as she, too, went up in flames. “Is that who you’re pregnant by? Are you pregnant by the husband you stole from me?”
Meagan wasn’t happy to see her mother and her godmother, but she’d never know who the mystery man in her dream was, because she was awakened by the sensation of William sliding her panties off under her nightgown. She wanted to protest and then snap off on him, but she had promised Angelo she would play it cool and wouldn’t change anything up.
“Happy birthday, beautiful,” William said, the strong scent of liquor lacing his words.
She didn’t respond. She just allowed him to do whatever it was he wanted to do, which was to feast between her legs. His head was garbage and always had been, but she had never realized how bad it was until she had been devoured by Devin. The entire time William’s mouth was at work, she stared at the digital clock next to the bed. When he had been down there ten minutes, the urge to cum still had not seized her, so she decided to pretend.
“Oh, Daddy, I’m about to cum,” she yelled out, hoping she sounded believable. Judging by William’s reaction, she did.
“Cum on Daddy’s tongue, baby. You know you can’t fight it,” William moaned.
“Oh, Daddy,” she yelled, forcing her legs to shake and squeezing them tightly around his face. Still angry with him, she purposely kneed him in the side of his face, as if by accident, while she was fake cumming. He took the hit as a sign of a job well done and didn’t stop, although the hit dazed him.
William licked faster, thinking he was really taking
her there, as she yawned silently and shook her head to keep herself from falling asleep. When he removed his face, Meagan rolled over on her stomach and got on her knees. It was the routine in their bedroom, head followed by doggy style until he climaxed, but not that night.
“No, baby, Daddy’s tired. I’ve been ripping and running all day to get your party together. I just wanted to make sure I gave you a birthday nut.” He kissed her on her round butt. “Good night.”
Meagan stayed in doggy-style position, not out of disappointment that he wasn’t about to hit it—because she wasn’t in the mood, anyway. She didn’t move, because she was biting her tongue so that she didn’t mention the real reason he was tired. She wanted to blurt out that he was tired because he had danced around in somebody else’s pussy that night. Instead, she said, “It’s okay, Daddy. I understand,” as she made her way out of the bed to head to the shower. “And thank you for tonight. Everything was beautiful.”
William was in bed snoring before she turned the water on in the shower to disinfect herself from his touch.
She grabbed her body wash and went to work, but when she finished, she could still feel his saliva on her body. So she stepped out of the shower and grabbed the hand sanitizer from the sink. Thirty-five minutes later, her body was hot pink from her scrubbing it with the antibacterial solution, alcohol, vinegar, and astringent she had under her sink, and she still felt filthy.
* * *
The workday on Monday was busier than usual. Meagan walked in to find an answering machine full of messages from clients demanding models for upcoming events and shoots. Normally, a busy Monday would put a smile on her face, because busy meant money, but not that day. All she wanted to do was go to the tax assessor’s office and look up the information on the land parcel belonging to the condo building. She couldn’t believe William had gotten away with buying property without her knowing. Perhaps it wasn’t in his name, she decided, but he didn’t have any living family members, so whom would he trust enough to put property in that person’s name?
Disrespectfully Yours Page 5
