“No,” I barely hear her whisper, head shaking. I’m sure denial is much more acceptable than reliving that day.
“Yes, you remember me holding you and not letting go until you were ready. You remember that. I know you do. I’m sorry about what happened to your sister, Jenny. I really am. I know what she meant to you. When I figured out who you were, I knew you came here looking for revenge. I know you’re not a bad person, Jaggs. I mean, really, what was your plan? What did you plan to do once you infiltrated yourself into my life, my family’s? What were you planning to do?”
“Make you suffer.”
“How?”
“I’m still devising a plan,” she sniffles, her subdued body resting against mine.
“Well, you can stop.” I brush a few strands of her hair back from her face, glad I can’t see her from the front, no doubt, her resplendent face charged with nettled confusion. “There’s enough suffering going on inside me every day, but I’m sorry, you can’t put your sister’s death on my hands too. I wasn’t there when it happened. I showed up after the fact. Your blame lies with Gerald Higgins. He’s the guy who was sent in to deactivate the bomb, but like all the other people in the room, he’s dead. So, I don’t know where you want to aim all this pissed-off anger you’ve got all bottled up in this little body of yours, but it ain’t here. I’m not to blame for this one.”
“You weren’t there?” The hint of surprise in her voice releases my hands from her body.
“No. Not when everything went down,” I assure her, absentmindedly stroking her head.
“But it was your signature.” She turns around, and glossy, wet eyes stare up at me. “I saw the reports, and it was your signature. You were in charge that day.”
“No. Higgins was in charge. But because he died without signing the initial paperwork, they needed someone to do it. When I got there to check on my friend Gerald Higgins, and after I found out he was dead, the fuckers made me sign off for him. They just needed a signature. It was about the red tape, that’s all.”
“If that’s true, then why? All this time, why’d you let me believe it was you?”
I shrug. “I figured if you came all this way looking for someone to blame, it couldn’t hurt to let you think it was me. At least until you were ready to confront your anger and your loss. Besides, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I may have not been the person who couldn’t save your sister, but believe me, Gerald tried—that’s what we’re trained to do. It’s just sometimes, we can’t. But I get you understand that.”
“Yes.” Eyes vacant, she walks over to the chair at the table and lowers down into it. “But that day, you, you—”
“You saw me wasted.” I walk over and kneel in front of her. “You knew I was drunk, high on something, and when you saw my name on the report, that’s why you blamed me. You thought I didn’t give it my all for your sister, thought I was too fucked up, thought I messed up and that’s why she died.”
“Yes.” She nods, tears streaming down her face.
I gather her shaky hands into mine. “I’m sorry, Jaggs. I’m sorry for what happened to Jenny, and I’m sorry you lost someone you really loved.”
“What have I done?” She wipes her face with the back of her hand. “I’m so-sorr-sorry.”
“Shhh.” I gather her body, set her on my lap, and hold her tight. I stroke her hair and let her cry it out like the first day I met her. I still remember the feel of her soft white sweater and the smell of her hair. Like a favorite song, it’s something I can’t get out of my head, and the heartbreaking sound of her cries, the sad melody is imprinted in my brain. She was innocent, nothing like she is today with her blue-black short, spiky hair. Her fit, firm body, and her sassy, hard attitude. Jenny’s death killed the girl I held in my arms that day. It’s as if the girl’s soul slipped from my arms and slithered to the asphalt to join all the smoldering ashes and spilt blood.
CHAPTER FIVE
Damn him! Why is it whenever I fall apart, Stone Kane is right there to wrap his arms around me and keep me together? He’s right about when Jenny died; I do remember my encounter with him. They told me my sister was dead, and I went into shock. I remember having some kind of out-of-body experience, looking around the scene, searching for Jenny until my blurred, tear-filled eyes landed on Stone. I didn’t know him but something in his eyes…Oh my God! I do remember them now. They were a light cedar color. They cut through the unimaginable situation, tore through my shock and stripped away my denial. He opened a door for me. He called me to him, and when I found myself in his arms, when I finally made it through the door he opened, I found my reality.
Jenny was dead.
It wasn’t until a week later when I met up with the detective on the case that I learned who my savior was, the same man who was responsible for the deactivation of the bomb that killed my only sister, friend, and family.
And the first day I met Stone Kane became a little clearer to me.
I remembered the smell of him. The stench of alcohol on his breath and his eyes, they weren’t really lifesaving, they were black, beady, red, and glossy. He was high on something; he was drunk, and he was responsible for Jenny’s death. That’s when my mission to destroy him started. And thanks to foster daddy number eight who taught me a lot about cars, a few months later, I found myself in California working for Stone’s brother, Crash, at his auto shop. Stone didn’t come around much. Still, I did see him here and there. The Kane family has a lot of birthdays and get-togethers. And they’re supportive of each other as well. So whenever Stone’s band is in the area, the brothers go to watch him play.
Me, I draw nothing except hate for his music. Still, I went and found out that not only was he a heartless drunk, but he was also a womanizer.
I wanted him to suffer, but he remained sober. He remained on track. He stayed out of trouble, and after catching him in the back room with one of his groupies, I never saw him with another girl again. To be fair, though, I can count on my left hand how many times I’ve seen his band, and even while they were performing, I never really paid any attention to him on stage.
Still, my plan remained to take him down. He’d pay for letting Jenny get killed. But the first opportunity I had to hurt him—I could’ve let Nix in to see him last night or call Crash and tell him his brother was using again—I couldn’t do it. Not because of Stone. I couldn’t do it to the family I’ve come to love.
And now I have to come to terms with the fact that all these months I had it all wrong! Stone wasn’t even there when Jenny died. He isn’t responsible for her death. They never found the bomber. Never discovered why someone decided to blow up the conference room in the Harriett Hotel on the day Jenny was doing her interview with Shannon Becker. And now, I don’t know what to do! I no longer have anyone to blame. No face to put to Jenny’s death. And if my mission has truly come to a stop, what do I do now? Leave California? Jenny’s gone. I have no family.
I have nowhere to go.
“Hey, how ya doin’?”
I glance up from my empty offering no answers to any questions mug and look at Stone. Sitting at the kitchen table, I probably look as small as I feel. What have I done to him? Over the past year, I’ve held so much hate for this man in my heart. He’s had enough shit in his life. I don’t know the specifics. Crash mentioned he’s got a lot guilt from when he was in Iraq.
I blink, noting the guitar slung over his shoulder and duffel bag hanging from his hand. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I got a few gigs set up in Fresno this week.” His eyes sink into me like back at the bomb site. “You okay?” he asks, and I don’t know how to react to this new concern. Usually, he ignores me.
“I think so.” I stare up at the man I’ve hated for so long, seeing parts of him I’ve never noticed before—the small scar over his left eyebrow, the pale pink color of his lips partially hidden by his beard, and the sincerity in his dark sepia eyes. I lif
t my chin. It needs to be said. “Look, I’m sorry—”
“No. Don’t do that.” His head shakes. “I don’t need an apology. I get it, Jaggs.”
“Do you?”
He nods. “Here.” He holds out a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” I take it.
“It’s where I’ll be staying for the next two weeks. My brother comes home tomorrow, right?”
“Yeah,” I reply, piece of paper still in my hand held in the air.
“Good. You’re due for a vacation, and with Jacob working with you guys, you can take one. I don’t care what you tell Crash. You’re going home to Rochester or going to visit a friend. Tell him whatever you want, just don’t tell him you’re coming to stay with me.”
“Stay with you?” Confused, the hand holding the address to Stone’s next destination begins to tremble. “Why would I do that?” A small part of me, the tiny part that accepts he’s not responsible for Jenny’s death, knows why I’d want to do that. At the bottom of my stomach, I always knew it was there. I just tried to ignore it.
“With the shit that happened last night…” He glances at the door. “I need someone around to keep me on the straight and narrow.”
“Ah.” My head jerks back. “That someone isn’t me.”
He dismisses my response. “And there are a couple of groupies who have been, let’s say, a little aggressive lately and won’t take no for answer. It’ll be good if they see a chick with me. Maybe, they’ll cool it.”
“No way!” I get up from the kitchen table and walk over to him. “Not. My. Problem.” I thrust the piece of paper with the address back at him. He smiles. While he doesn’t do it much, it’s a nice smile, almost sexy. Oh, man! Don’t let your brain go there, girl! “Sorry. I have no interest in protecting you from your fangirls, and I recommend you find an AA meeting while you’re in Fresno to help you with your other problem.” A pinch of guilt drops into my belly. Thanks to Mom and foster care daddy number three and six, I know all about addiction. “Here.” I hold up my hand again. “Take this. I don’t want it.”
Sexy smile alive and twinkling in his whiskey-burdened eyes, he covers my paper-holding hand with his. “You keep it.” I hear the duffel bag hit the floor. His other hand slithers behind my neck, and he pulls me to him. “In case you change your mind.” His lips press against my speechless ones. It doesn’t take but a few kisses before I fall patsy to his touch. Who knew Stone Kane’s mouth was so dangerous to me? “Besides…” His gaze remains on my throbbing, wet lips. “We wouldn’t want my family to find out the real reason you came to Cali.” His eyes flash to mine. “I mean, I might understand, but will Crash?” His eyebrow lifts. “Ma, Harley, Token?”
“You wouldn’t,” I squeak, worry now padding my belly.
“Try me, Amanda,” he says in his gravelly, rock star voice. No one’s called me Amanda since I arrived in Cali over a year ago, nor has anyone said it the way Stone just did. Shit! How much does he know about me? The brush of his lips against mine snaps me from my unsupervised thoughts. “Eight. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.”
“Fuck you!”
He chuckles as his hand slips from my neck. He picks up his duffel bag. “It takes three hours to get there.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Don’t be late,” he says, and then, before he leaves, the son of a bitch winks at me! I didn’t know he knew how to smile, let alone wink.
I hear the front door close and realize I haven’t moved since he put his hand on my neck. Well, my lips had some movement, but obviously, my brain went kaput because it didn’t have the good sense to stop him.
I go to the living room and look out the window in time to catch him getting into an Uber. I press my head against the glass, trying to figure out what the hell happened over the past twenty-four hours.
CHAPTER SIX
Dammit! After Stone leaves, I march upstairs to check out Crash’s room and make sure Stone didn’t leave it a mess. I also need to distract myself from the tingle still lingering on my lips.
When I open the door, it’s spotless, minus Maggie’s heels on the floor and a bra on the dresser. I was Crash’s roommate for a year, and it’s weird to imagine my best friend living with a woman. I never knew him to date any girl until his estranged wife showed up.
Funny how things change in the matter of a few moments. Crash has a wife. I have no one to blame for Jenny’s death. Now there’s a sexy, guitar-slinging wannabe rock star threatening my life and the people I care about.
Stone’s right; I’m not sure where I’m going to put all my anger now. I can still point a lot of it at him. Does he really think I’m going to show up in Fresno tomorrow? Shit! I probably will, if I believe he’ll hold true to his threat. I can’t have the Kanes knowing the truth because they’ll hate me. I won’t ever be able to look Olivia in the eyes again. She beats all ten of my foster moms. Oliva Kane is the best mother I’ve ever witnessed. It’d break my heart to lose her.
Shit! I head back down the stairs. Shit! Shit! Shit! What am I going to do? There’s a knock on the door. Well, I guess I’ll start with that. It can’t be Stone.
Whoever it is, perhaps they’ll take my mind off the wannabe rock star and this messed-up situation.
I yank the door open. No such luck! “Hi. Getty?”
“Hi again.” When he smiles, he looks more youthful, more rested than last night. “Jaggs, right?”
“Yeah.” I nod, thankful Stone didn’t tell him my real name. I’m not sure I want to be Amanda ever again.
“Stone asked me to drop this off.” He hands me a box. “Is it the right one? He told me to get the latest model. You have a SIM card, right?”
I look up from the cell phone box to his bright blue eyes. “Yes.”
“Oh, good. He told me what model you had. The card should work for this model. Just put it in and you should be all set. If you want, I could help you—”
“No.” Stone got me a new phone. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it as I pull it against me. “I’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah.” Getty smiles. “Okay.” He nods. “Oh, he wasn’t sure if you had it, so I wrote his number on the box. He wanted you to have it. Said in case you wanted to reach him before you head out tomorrow.” He takes a couple of steps back, shoving his hands into his hoodie’s pocket.
“Thanks.” I set my hand on the door.
“Hey.” He moves back toward the door opening, eyes wide and searching. “He wasn’t too pissed at me, ya know, about last night?”
“What?” My head tilts, caught off guard by the kid’s comment.
“Oh, ah…” He grimaces, my face no doubt expressing my confusion. “Never mind. I’ll talk with him about it later. Sorry.” He waves a hand in the air. “I’ll see ya in Fresno.”
“Yeah.” I lift my chin, spying at him from heavy eyelids. “See ya.” I close the door.
Now, I might have to go to Fresno. If for nothing else, to find out why Stone would be pissed at the kid? Could it have something to do with how he got himself dumped in front of Crash’s shop?
***
I show up on time at the shop and dive right into work.
“Just got off the phone with Thomas Riverdale. He said you did an excellent job on his Monte.”
I pop my head out from the hood of the Dodge Challenger. “Did you doubt my abilities?”
“Fuck no.” Crash laughs, and a dimple crushes into the corner of his cheek as his emerald eyes light up the room. No matter how much grease he gets on his angelic face or in his flaxen hair, the guy is still pretty. “You were taught by the best.”
“Oh-ho, I see, you weren’t even here, and you’re still trying to take the credit.” I flip him off.
His laughter gets louder. “Seriously,” he sobers. “You did a great job holding down this place. Thanks.”
I smirk at him and dive back under
the hood. We don’t play the “let’s express how we feel and talk about it” game. This relationship is based on work, gaming, and boozing. Not to say, periodically the alcohol makes for loose lips, that’s how I found out about Maggie and he about my sister being dead. Not the how, but just that she’s gone.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some secrets you can’t keep to yourself. I stayed strong when it came to the truth about Stone, just as Crash had about his best friend. Those other secrets are too important or too hurtful to confront.
“Hey, I see the dynamic duo is back together.” Nix walks into the shop with Becca running past him. I smile at them.
“Uncle Crash!” Becca squeals.
Crash catches her. “Hey, little lady.”
“I missed you, Maggie, and Cody.”
“Well, we missed you too.” Crash kisses his six-year-old niece on her freckled cheek before setting her down on her feet. “Maybe Magg—”
“Aunt Maggie,” Nix corrects.
“Aunt Maggie.” Crash turns to Nix and says under his breath, “It just sounds weird, dude.”
“I know, but she’s Becca’s aunt, so get used to it. And we already talked to Aunt Maggie. She said she’ll stop by with Cody, my nephew, after dinner.” Nix winks at his wide-eyed daughter.
“Yes!” She does a quick fist punch. “Hi, Jaggs!” She waves at me prior to running off to the office where Crash keeps the pop and sweets.
“Jaggs.” Nix smiles. “Hey, did Stone ever show up the other night?”
I lie with a shake of my head.
“Huh.” He turns to Crash. “What the hell is up with him? He told Ma he was going to stay with you.”
“Shit.” Crash wipes his hands with his overused, stained rag. “It’s becoming a pattern. He comes in town and says he’s gonna stay with one of us but then doesn’t show up or claims he’s stayin’ with a friend, a sister of a friend’s, or some shit.”
“Ya think he’s not? Like he’s stayin’ at a hotel or something? Ya think, maybe he’s using again? And tryin’ to hide it?”
STONE (Daring the Kane Brothers) Page 3
