“Whatever that is.” Daed set the knife down and picked up the cleaver again. “As you can see, we’re fine. You and yer schwester can geh back to Dirt Creek—”
“Birch Creek—”
“And get on with yer lives. Yer mamm and I are getting on with ours.”
He should just turn around and leave. His father was angry, despite his flat expression. And in a way, Christian understood. He’d had expectations for his son, and Christian had failed to meet them. Daed had worked side by side with his family until they retired—or in his grandfather’s case, had passed away. Now his father was alone in his workshop. Yes, he worked with customers and other butchers, but his business was his own. And he had no one to pass it down to.
Christian had wrestled with this before telling his father about his decision to be a teacher. A burden had been lifted from him with the revelation, but perhaps a different one was now on his father’s shoulders. “I’m sorry,” Christian said, sounding sincere. He took a step forward. “I wish things could be different.”
“You made yer decision.”
“Just like you made yers.”
Daed looked at him, a flicker of emotion crossing his face. “I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t going to turn mei back on mei vatter and grossvatter I wasn’t going to throw away everything they taught me.”
Christian’s guilt escalated, but he remained resolute. “What about Onkel David? He left the business.”
“He didn’t have to stay.”
“Because the business was yers.” And it was supposed to be mine. He shook his head. He and his father could speak in circles about this and resolve nothing. “I see nix has changed,” he muttered.
“Nee. It hasn’t.” Daed faced the whetstone again. He picked up the cleaver. Scrape.
Christian left the barn, tempted to call a taxi to take him to the bus station right away, but that wouldn’t be fair to Selah. He would stay here as long as she needed him to. But as soon as he was confident she would be okay, he was going back to Birch Creek—where he belonged.
By the middle of the week, Ruby was tired, but fulfilled. The students had asked a few questions about when Christian was coming back, but after her second day of teaching, they’d had no more inquiries. She stuck to his plan and had even spent most of the time after school today working on the class schedule for next week in case Christian was delayed further. She really enjoyed teaching, even the difficult parts of it.
The discipline was especially challenging. She found a tack in her chair this morning, just before she sat on it. That would have been worse than the gum, and she was not amused. When no one confessed, everyone got five extra spelling words to study for their upcoming test on Friday. They would learn that she took their education seriously.
When she arrived home, Patience was in the kitchen making supper. “Where are the buwe?” Ruby asked, setting her books and papers on the counter near the mudroom door. She had a lot of work to grade tonight after supper, and she was looking forward to it.
“At the Beilers’,” she said. “Joanna and Naomi offered to watch them today while I went to check on Irene. They’re keeping them tonight.”
“How is she doing?
“Gut. I also found out Emily Beachy is expecting.”
So Fanny, Samuel, and Caleb would have another sibling in the future. “You really are going to need some help.”
“Ya, and God will provide it in his time. He always does.”
“That’s true.” Ruby paused. She had been thinking about her own future lately. “I think he’s provided something for me.”
“Oh?”
“Patience . . . I want to be a teacher.”
Her sister-in-law set down a carrot and her peeler and faced her. “I think that’s an excellent decision.”
“You do?”
“You obviously enjoy it. I’d say love it. And you’re so gut with kinner. The buwe have missed you this week.”
Ruby’s heart warmed. “I missed them too. And you’re right. I do love teaching.”
Patience leaned against the counter. “What are yer plans, then?”
“First,” she said, picking up her papers and books, “I’m going to focus on mei students until Chris comes back. They’re mei priority right now.”
With a smile, Patience said, “It’s gut to see you content and confident.”
Confident? Ruby thought about that as she went upstairs to put away her things. She’d never thought of herself as confident, but she did feel that way now. She was starting to believe what Christian said. She was a gut teacher, she had control of the class, and most of all, he trusted her. If that didn’t give her assurance, nothing would. Thank you, Lord.
After supper and cleaning up, she spread the stacks of papers on the table and started to grade them. She heard Patience’s cell phone ring from the mudroom. “I’ll get it,” she called to Timothy and Patience, who were in the living room. She went to the mudroom and picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hello, Ruby.” Christian’s deep, steady voice came through the receiver.
She smiled. “Hi. How are things?”
“They’re okay. I should be back in Birch Creek by Saturday. Let’s meet by the tree, and you can inform me about school this past week.”
“Okay.” She paused. He sounded brisk and businesslike. “How are you?”
“I’m well. Thank you for asking.”
Her shoulders slumped. She shouldn’t have expected anything different. Then again, what had she expected when she asked him how he was? For him to say he missed her? To ask how she was doing? That wasn’t Christian. “Your students are also well,” she said, imitating his formal speech.
“I’m sure they are. I have to hang up now. I’ll see you Saturday. At four o’clock?”
“That will be fine. Good-bye.” She set the phone on the charger. At least he was able to come back, which meant Selah must be doing better. She had prayed this week for them both, and it looked like God had provided something else—an answer to those prayers.
Christian hung up the phone and walked out of the shanty and back up to the house. He’d wanted to talk to Ruby longer, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Most of the time it was easy to talk to her, but sometimes—like after he’d proposed and after he’d kissed her—it was awkward. It had been awkward for him again. Because I miss her.
Since being back in New York, he’d had a lot of time to think. But this time instead of thinking about teaching, his students, or improving his mind, he was focused on family . . . and Ruby. He didn’t just want to talk to her about his classroom—although he definitely wanted a summary of the week. But he hadn’t been worried about his students for a moment. He had meant it when he said he trusted her.
He’d also thought about his relationship with his father. They had avoided each other since their last conversation and didn’t engage when they were in the same room, not even at mealtimes. His father wasn’t willing to meet Christian halfway, and Christian couldn’t force him to. Despite how much he wanted things to be different, he had to accept that Daed may never accept his decision, and their relationship might always be strained. He walked into the house. Selah and their mother were sitting at the kitchen table, talking. “I’ll come back” he said, and then he started to leave the room.
“Christian?” Selah said.
He turned. “Ya?”
“May I talk to you?”
Mamm patted Selah’s hand and rose from the table. “I’ll geh wake yer vatter. I’m sure he’s asleep in the chair in the living room by now.”
Christian didn’t say anything. He’d seen Daed snoring away in his old chair when he came into the house. It was the reason he’d decided to go into the kitchen.
Mamm paused. She looked at Christian and then at Selah. “It’s gut to have you both home . . . even if it’s just for a little while.” She touched Christian’s arm and left.
He sat down across from Selah. He’d noticed an improvement in her a
ppearance since they’d arrived home. She was dressed when she came downstairs in the morning now, her hair up and wearing either her kapp or a kerchief. Her complexion seemed a little brighter, and her eyes were less dull. That’s why he’d already decided he could return to Birch Creek at the end of the week. “What do you want to talk about?”
Selah ran her finger across the table. He also knew she’d not only spent time talking with Mamm but had visited their aenti Keturah, more than once. Perhaps being back around family had a positive effect on her.
Selah finally spoke. “I went to a doctor today. Aenti Keturah recommended it.”
His brow lifted, but he remained silent. That was a surprise, considering their parents went to doctors only in emergency situations. He was also surprised that their aunt had such an influence over Selah’s decision. As far as he knew, she wasn’t enamored of doctors either.
“What did the doctor say?”
“She thinks I am depressed and suggested I have therapy. She also said I can take some medications, but she wants me to try talking to someone first. She knows a counselor she highly recommends.” Selah swallowed. “I’m not sure I want to talk to a stranger, especially someone who isn’t Amish.”
He understood her trepidation. They were private people, even among the Amish. It would be difficult to talk to an outsider about anything particular to their culture.
“But I’m going to try. Aenti. also suggested I talk to Samuel.”
That surprised him too. Samuel King, their bishop, was a kind man who was always available whenever he was needed. “I imagine he will supply you with plenty of helpful Bible verses,” he said.
Selah nodded. “He does like to quote Scripture. I used to dismiss a lot of that, but now I really need those words.”
“This all sounds gut.” It sounded better than good, but he didn’t want to put any pressure on Selah. She would heal on her timetable, and God’s.
“I’m really sorry,” she said, her expression sincere. “I’ve been a terrible schwester to you, and I’m glad you feel okay about returning to Birch Creek on Saturday. I’m going to be fine.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he said. “I understand.”
“That still doesn’t make it right.” She sighed. “I need to apologize to Martha and her familye. And to Ruby. I really wasn’t fair to her.”
“She understands too.”
Selah looked at him, her brow lifting in a mirror image of what he knew to be his usual gesture. “Did you tell her what happened?”
“Nee. I would never break that confidence.”
“You’re a gut mann, Christian. And a great bruder.” Her expression turned sly. “But you need some help in the romance department.”
Not this again. “I’ve given up on that.”
“Why? You already asked Ruby to marry you.”
“A mistake on mei part.”
“Ouch. Don’t let her hear you say that.”
“I’m sure she wholeheartedly agrees.”
Selah looked at him. “Did she tell you that?”
He shook his head. “Not in so many words.”
“In any words?”
“Well . . . nee.”
She reached over and bonked his head.
His hand went to his forehead. She’d barely touched him, and it didn’t hurt, but he was surprised. “What was that for?”
“Because you’re so dense for a brilliant mann. Can’t you see that you and Ruby are perfect for each other?”
Something stirred inside him at her words, but he tamped it down. His feelings—whatever they were—didn’t matter. “This is quite unexpected, considering your opinion of Ruby.”
“I’ve reconsidered. She’s exactly what you need.”
He gazed at the clock above the wall. In the center sat a plump rooster, a rather whimsical decoration for his staid parents.
“I guess you don’t want to talk about Ruby anymore.”
Christian turned to his sister. “You are correct.”
“All right, new subject. How are you and Daed? Seems like you two can barely stand to be in the same room together since we’ve been back.”
This time he looked at her squarely. “I don’t want to talk about him, either.”
Selah nodded. “All right. I will respect that.” She rose from the table. “But when it comes to Ruby, you need to figure out yer future with her. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.”
“But—”
Selah left the kitchen, leaving Christian with his jumbled thoughts. He looked at the platter of apple cake squares in the middle of the table. They were covered in plastic wrap, but that didn’t stop him from lifting it up and taking one. As he bit into the moist cake, he thought about what Selah said. Frankly, he had no idea how she would have come to that determination, considering she hadn’t seen him and Ruby together that much.
He finished off the treat and cleaned up the crumbs. It didn’t matter what Selah thought. Ruby had refused his proposal. But there was still the matter of the kiss. She had wanted to talk to him about it, and he needed to explain himself. He wanted her to be free to pursue Seth, or any other man she thought was suitable husband material. Just because he had given up on his plan to marry didn’t mean she had.
But something twisted inside of him as he thought about Ruby being with anyone else.
Ruby waited as she stood beneath the tree’s branches. It was mid-November, and almost all the leaves had fallen. The sky was cloudy, and it was cold. She snuggled into her scarf and put her gloved hands in the pockets of her coat. Maybe they should have agreed to meet somewhere warmer. She crouched next to the canvas tote bag that said #1 Teacher on the front next to a bright-red apple. She saw it yesterday when she went to a department store in Barton after school. It was whimsical, but also appropriate for Christian. She doubted he’d think so, but she bought the bag anyway.
She heard the rustle of leaves and looked up. He was walking toward her, his hat low on his head, a scarf also around his neck. She stood and threaded her fingers together as the brown leaves whirled around her ankles.
He stopped a few feet in front of her. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi.” Before any awkwardness could settle between them, she picked up the tote bag. “Here,” she said, handing it to him.
“What’s this?” He eyed the front of it. “Number one teacher?”
She nodded and smiled. “The students took their spelling tests yesterday. I graded them and put them in a folder, along with yer lesson plans and some of Malachi’s extra work.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t be surprised to see extra words on the test.” She explained about the tack in the chair.
“They tried that on you too? I had one in my seat the second day. It seems like a rite of passage for teachers.”
She smiled again. She liked hearing him refer to her as a teacher. She also realized that she still liked him, despite everything. She had missed him while he was gone, and not just because she could have asked him for advice during some of the more trying times in the classroom this past week. But her feelings for him didn’t make any difference. She had already chosen her path. “How is Selah?”
“Better. She’s going to be okay.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I was praying for you both.”
He looked at her. “Danki.”
She thought she heard his voice slightly crack as he slipped into Dietsch, but that could be from the wind. She shivered in her coat.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“Ya. It’s cold in November, you know.”
“We’ve been working on our Christmas program,” he said.
“I’m sure it will be a gut one.” She rocked back on her heels.
“Ruby—”
“I’m going to become a teacher,” she blurted. “I’ve been thinking and praying about it, and it’s something I really want to pursue. Thanks to you giving me another chance, I think I’ve found mei calling.”
He didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then he said, “That’s . . . great.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get yer job,” she said, wanting to reassure him. “Now that you’re back, I’m going home to Lancaster to get some training. I’m also going to prove to the people in mei community that I can be a gut teacher, so if an opening comes up they’ll hire me. If there is no opening, then I’ll apply to other districts.”
“Sounds like you have everything figured out.”
“I do.” She grinned and blew out a breath. “I feel at peace.”
“What about . . . Seth?”
She waved her hand. “That was a foolish idea, looking for a husband like that.” She met his gaze, and for some reason butterflies started fluttering in her stomach. “You can’t force a marriage to happen. A relationship takes time to develop, and a marriage needs love.”
“Except when love is irrelevant.”
Ruby stared at him. She shouldn’t be surprised at his response, but she was. “How can it be irrelevant? We’re talking about marriage. Two people spending the rest of their lives together. Having children, creating a familye, being there through the gut times and bad . . .” She shook her head, the butterflies in her stomach disappearing. “How can you say love doesn’t matter?”
“History has shown—”
“I don’t care about history. I’m talking about me.” About us. But there wasn’t an us where she and Christian were concerned. Despite everything, she wanted there to be. “I’m leaving on Monday,” she said, lifting her chin, pretending her heart wasn’t fracturing inside. Her mouth turned to cotton as she added, “Since there’s nee church service tomorrow, I’ll say mei good-bye now.” She waited for him to respond, hoping he would ask her to stay, offer to take her for ice cream, and this time they would go. Tell her that he wanted her here in Birch Creek. That he wanted her to be with him.
He looked at her, his gaze impassive. Then he said, “I’m gratified that you have everything settled in your mind, and that you have developed a plan to achieve your goals. Have a safe trip to Lancaster.”
She lowered her head, forcing her trembling chin to stay still. He was speaking English again. “Danki.” Then she looked at him. He had rejected her, but that didn’t completely change how she felt about him. She was probably a fool to still care for him. I’m always a fool, anyway. “I hope you find yer happy ending, Christian,” she said, sincere. “Whether it’s with Martha or someone else.” She turned and walked toward Timothy’s before she broke down completely.
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