by Sadie Sears
“You’re a dragon, Sam. You protect people. Giant winged heroes, right?” Panic churned in my stomach and made its way into my chest. He was trying to say no, to convince me it wouldn’t work when it had to. It was Lila’s chance for a better life. “Maybe there’s a dragon out there for her. Maybe she’s a destined mate for one of your friends, even.”
I needed to have hope again.
“You could bring them over and maybe one will click. You know?” Yeah. All I had to do was find the right dragon. “I’ll cook. Or you can, and we can have like a little party. A date-the-dragon kind of thing.”
I laughed, because the idea was falling apart before it even got off the ground, and I couldn’t do anything to save it.
“Gretta.” His voice was sad. Too sad. He was listening to me lose it because this wasn’t an idea I could make work, and it was killing me.
“No, Sam. You cannot tell me there’s no hope. You can’t tell me I have to sit here and watch my sister die!” I was shouting now, my tone growing shrill. Lila and probably half the town of Spruce heard me. But this chance was slipping away. “She’s getting worse. Every day. She’s suffering, and this might be my only hope.”
“But it’s not a hope, Gretta. If Lila doesn’t want to be claimed—”
“Why would she not want to be claimed? To be better for Zoe? To live a healthy life again?” Who wouldn’t want to be saved from all the suffering?
“If Lila isn’t a destined mate, a bite could drive her mad. Literally out of her mind. That’s not the hundreds of years you want for her.”
Why did he have to be so damned reasonable and unreasonable at the same time?
“But what if she is someone’s destiny? What if someone out there is looking for her. What if he’s—” I sounded ridiculous. I was on the verge of saying I’d offer to fly dragons into Vermont. But he was right. And the hopelessness closed in on me. A sob bubbled up out of my throat, and I swallowed it back before Sam could hear it.
“Gretta, I would help if I could.” The sincerity, the kindness, the concern in his voice reinforced that loving him was the right thing. Not that I’d had any doubts, but Lila’s situation weighed so heavily on me that I couldn’t think straight.
“I know.” I couldn’t speak.
“I'm so sorry.”
I closed my eyes. The scent of earth and rain lingered on the air as I stepped off the porch to let the droplets mix with my tears.
"Is there anything I can do for either of you?"
I really could’ve used a hug right then. “Lila is getting her massage tomorrow night from Sophie. I'll have a little time to run home and get a change of clothes. If you wanted to meet me around six o’clock?” Maybe by then I’d have a real plan to help Lila, an idea at least how to get on the research team. And then we could celebrate, maybe with his arms around me.
"It's a date. Love you."
Sam loved me, and I still had Lila. And there was nothing I wouldn’t do for either one of them. Nothing at all.
"Her disease is progressing so fast, J." I sat on the edge of my bed with an empty bag and a pile of clothes beside me. Admitting to anyone, even Justin, that Lila was worse tore a hole in the center of my heart.
"Well, you just take care of her and don’t you worry your pretty little head. No one is missing you here. Especially not Mr. Jones." No matter what news I gave him, he was always the same person, the one I could count on, the one who looked after me when I was busy taking care of Lila.
"You tell Mr. Jones I’m hurt. And I’ll be back."
I knew Justin was trying to make me feel better by cracking his usual jokes. “You’re the one who took his TV remote away.”
“I was trying to listen to his breath sounds and he kept turning up Days of Our Lives. I gave it right back.” I just hoped his complaint didn’t hurt my chances to get on the research team.
Justin laughed, but when he heard me sigh, he tutted. “What’s really wrong?”
"I feel like time is standing still while I wait to hear from the committee. I want to get involved in the trial so badly. I need to feel like I'm doing something to help Lila.” What I really wished was that I could move the interview date forward, or just start working and show them how valuable I could be.
"You do whatever it takes to get your foot in the door."
"I don't know if asking Sam to come with me to the interview is the right thing to do. Is it too forward to bring him and show them I have a dragon connection? He’s offered to help any way he can, but I don’t know what they’ll think he’s offering to do if he comes."
"If he's offered to help, G, let him help."
A light knock said Sam had arrived and my belly clenched. I’d waited all day for this moment. And it was no coincidence that I’d showered, shaved my legs, and had sprayed a sheen of perfume on my entire body. "Gotta go, Sam's here."
“Go get ’em, girl.”
I hung up and ran to the front door, flinging it open—and there he was in all his blond and beautiful man glory. I pulled him inside by his shirt and threw myself against him. He chuckled and wrapped me in an embrace so safe and secure I never wanted to move. In his arms, the world and all the problems associated with it faded. There was no MS, no research study, no world outside that door.
"Well, hello to you, too." He kept his arms around me and leaned his forehead against mine. “I missed you.”
I hummed an agreement, and then I blurted out the one thing I’d been thinking about since yesterday when he offered to do anything he could to help. “Will you go with me to the interview?”
"Of course, but you’ll do fine on your own. I mean I get it. Emotional support, that last-second pep talk—which I’m great at, by the way—but you’ve this, Gretta.” He put his hand on my cheek and curled his fingers along my jaw, and I practically melted into his touch. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of the way he looked at me, touched me, loved me.
"The researchers are looking for dragons to donate blood, and I thought if I brought you along and you told them you were willing to donate, it would give me an extra boost.” They would undoubtedly see how dedicated I was that I’d brought my very own dragon for the cause.
Sam stiffened and didn't reply. I noticed the pulse point in his neck had gone wild.
"What? You don’t want to donate blood?" Some people just couldn’t stand needles. Others didn’t like blood. Maybe Sam was one of those. I held the thought until I looked at him. He wasn’t frowning. He wore a full-on angry scowl.
"You can't take that job." He moved his arms from my waist so he could grip my arms. I jerked free and moved back a couple steps.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared, eyes orange and angry. "They're not trying to help humans, Gretta. They’re experimenting on ways to hurt dragons."
“Don’t be absurd. It’s research for diseases.”
“Humans have been researching our blood for thousands of years, Gretta. If they could have found a way to stop MS, they would have done it by now—”
“But there are new railroads in medicine every single day.”
“I’m not denying that, but our blood is also volatile because of the way it’s linked with psychosis. Therefore, it’s regulated, and only the top research labs in the world are allowed to have it.”
“Well, Dr. Holt said they were looking for donations, so they must have been given permission to use it.”
“No. They’re probably trying to find out how we drain a wizard’s power or control the elements, and then use that information to find a way of destroying us.”
“Look, Sam, if you don’t want to help, fine, but this project means more to me than anything in the world.” He cocked an eyebrow and even I wasn’t sure if I meant him or not—Lila was family—so I continued. “You can’t just stand here and make accusations like that without any proof."
“I have proof, Gretta.” He sighed and raked his fingers through hi
s hair. “Well, Mitias has proof.”
“Have you seen it? Seen one thing to prove any of these allegations as more than just rumors?” I shook my head, not bothering to wait for an answer. “Of course you haven’t, because it’s bullshit. And you know it. My question is why you don’t want me to help my sister.” I tried to keep the anger contained, but he knew how much this meant to me.
“I do want you to help her. God, I know how important she is to you, but if wizards are somehow involved in this, you won’t be helping Lila, you’ll be putting dragons in danger.” He started pacing, and I watched, partly because I couldn’t believe this was happening, and partly because I couldn’t look away. His anger was as beautiful as it was infuriating, and that infuriated me more.
He stopped his pacing and turned toward me. “And it could be dangerous for you too.”
“How? I’m not a dragon.”
The color of his skin deepened a few shades, red enough he could have spontaneously combusted. “Just give me a minute.” He went into the bathroom and kicked the door shut.
I shook my head. I’d seen enough. He could have all the time he wanted, but he wasn’t going to change my mind. I grabbed my clothes and stuffed them into my overnight bag, and then I left. Hot tears streamed down my face as I ran down the stairs to my car.
I’d thought he was different than Bill, but it turned out he was the same. He was fine when everything was easy, but as soon as it got tough, he wanted to control it, to control me. I’d had enough of men trying to control me. Bill did it but letting him go had been easy because I never loved Bill.
14
Samuel
I bounded down the stairs. She couldn’t go like this.
"Can we talk? Please, Gretta." I knocked on the car window and she turned to look at me, hazel eyes red and pooled with tears. "Please, talk to me."
"What do you want?"
I quickly opened the passenger side and climbed in, and it saddened me when she lifted her glasses then wiped her eyes as if she didn’t want me to see her vulnerability.
She was hurting, and that had never been my intention, but I had to try and make her understand for all our sakes. After, if she still wanted me to go, I would.
“Mitias told me there are wizards in the area draining shifters of their energy and kidnapping dragons to steal their blood. I can’t take the chance this project isn’t part of that.”
Gretta pulled her hair into a long ponytail then twisted it and secured it with a band. If she wasn’t preparing for battle, she certainly made it look like it.
“Paul has been my mentor for a decade. I assure you this research has nothing to do with wizards who want dragon blood for their nefarious plans against dragons.”
“Do you have proof of that? You have no idea what they are capable of, who they’ll use. They’re dangerous.” I ground the words out because if I yelled them, I’d scare her. “Their plan is to develop a pill or a potion or an elixir to stop dragons because we keep them in check. We make sure the balance of magic isn’t compromised.”
She shook her head. “My mother was on the committee that helped formulate modern laws for governing supernatural creatures. I’m well aware of the dangers.” She shook her head. “I also know you have a responsibility to help others. I wasn’t asking you to donate a wing, for heaven’s sake. I was asking you to come to a meeting.” Her voice cracked, and I wanted to hold her. Comfort her. Make this whole damned thing disappear.
“A meeting, Sam.”
“I know how important this is to you. Doesn’t that tell you something? I would give you anything in the world that was in my power. I would do whatever it took, but this is out of my control. This is bigger than us. Bigger than a meeting or a vial of my blood. This affects an entire species and all the people we serve and protect.” Maybe I was being dramatic, especially if her research project was what she thought it was. But if it wasn’t—and my gut said it wasn’t—then she was in danger. I was in danger, and if the wizards succeeded, mankind would suffer in ways she probably couldn’t comprehend.
“Are you really trying to explain it to me? I know how devastating it would be if it were wizards. But Dr. Holt is an honorable man who would never get mixed up in something like that.” She gripped the steering wheel, opening and closing her fingers again and again.
“You don’t know that. Anyway, wizards can influence humans, make them do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.”
Her eyes flashed as she shook her head. “They’re not making me do anything. You’re the one who is trying to stop me from doing what I want. I never should have asked you to go with me. My mistake. Now get out of my car.”
Her tone cut through me, and it was obvious she didn’t understand what I was trying to say, and she never would. Still, I couldn’t let it go despite having to witness the disdain in her eyes. I twisted in my seat, so I was facing her fully. “All our intel points to something happening in Spruce. Something bad. And this is my town now, too. My friends live here. I live here. The woman I love lives here. And by all things winged and not, I’m going to protect this place from any danger. That includes the research project.”
“All your intel?” She rolled her eyes. “So, you’re what? Double-oh-dragon?”
If I’d been a bystander listening to this conversation, I would have smiled at that one. But this was my life. My mate. And I was losing her. I tried to touch her arm, but she yanked it away.
“Do you have a choice in this?”
I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I had a feeling she was now talking about something entirely different from the research she wanted to do. She glanced up at me, her hazel eyes hard.
“Did you have a choice in who your mate was? Would you have chosen me, or did destiny force her will on you despite what you wanted?”
“I—” God, how was I supposed to answer that? Gretta was chosen for me, but only because she was my perfect match. Being my mate just made it easier for me to recognize her, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her anyway.
“Yeah, just like I thought.” She turned her face toward the window. “Just go, Sam.”
I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to be by her side forever, but I just didn’t have the words to convince her. I stumbled out of the car and ended up sitting on the steps to her building for a long while after she’d sped away.
I’d been here before. Dumped, rejected, with the weight of loneliness sitting on my shoulders. But this was worse. This was Gretta. My destined mate. And she didn’t dump me because I was a dragon—she dumped me because she didn’t trust me.
My soul felt like it was being ripped in two. Not just because she didn’t trust me, but because damn it, I didn’t trust her. She knew the power in my blood, not only its magical properties, but that it could also drive someone insane, yet she was willing to take the chance of using it if it helped Lila.
I understood that kind of love, but I also knew when not to step over the line. It seemed Gretta didn’t. Not only would she have used me to get the research position, but she would also have used me as a source of dragon blood.
My dragon roared and thrashed inside me. He wanted to get out, go after Gretta, stake his claim, and I could feel his pain and confusion. I felt it too. Waves of agony and grief rolled through me, and I lurched to my feet. I was on the verge of shifting right there in the heart of Spruce, barely able to control my dragon, but I focused all my energy and staggered toward the truck. It was time for me to fly.
Naked, I lingered at the mountain's edge. Instead of shifting, I allowed the painful emotions to take over. My body painfully contorted as I resisted the change. Orange, red, and amber scales covered my torso and arms, but I held on. I needed to feel the full weight of this burden to rid myself of my desire for Gretta.
Mitias told me destiny was never wrong, but how did he know? Who was to say there weren’t a bunch of dragons out there with mates who destiny got wrong? Certainly not me. I was the poster boy for
how wrong they got it.
How did they feel? How did they cope? Did they want to dive off the side of a mountain? Probably.
I screamed hard and loud, the best human lungs had to offer to purge my soul, but nothing worked. The pain weighed me down. It was almost too much.
With a small inhale, I closed my eyes—and saw Gretta’s face, her smile, the laughter in her eyes, the way she sometimes scrunched up her nose. I didn’t want to lose her, but I had no idea how I was supposed to win her back. Or even if I should.
I stretched my arms out wide and felt the wind buffeting my body. It was cold up here, but I was fire incarnate. I was also tortured. I took a step off the cliff. Then, my defenses kicked in. My dragon kicked in. The familiar snap of my wings, usually music to my ears, did nothing to help me today.
In my full-size form, I soared over the desolate forest and the mountains and the tiny lights of the towns dotting the landscape. For hours, I dominated the skies, but the pain stayed with me, and as the sun rose, its brilliant light coloring the clouds with pink and gold, I realized I couldn’t escape because wherever I went, so did she.
I flapped my wings, ascending into the clouds. Hot smoke poured from my nostrils, and a bolt of fire spewed from my mouth. Frustrated, I tucked my wings into my back and dove, freefalling through the early morning sky. As the wind whipped past, my dragon roared, releasing a jet of flame—just as we plummeted straight into the middle of Lake Champlain. I hit the water like a bullet, sinking fast to the bottom, where I stayed until my lungs burned, and I kicked for the surface.
Swimming in my dragon form was a little inelegant, so I shifted and headed to the bank and climbed out. It seemed today wasn’t the day I would be able to figure out a damned thing, so maybe I needed to stop trying.
15
Gretta
The shrieking screams of a four-year-old cut through me. Filling in for Dr. Felicia was not, it turned out, one of my better ideas. Instead of taking my mind off of Sam and my broken heart, I was on the verge of a mental collapse. Apparently, there weren’t enough toys, or of the specific toy, they all wanted to play with. Honestly, there were only four kids here, but it felt like fourteen. And the toy in question was a dragon with blinking eyes, and it roared when a button on its back was pressed. Of all the toys on all the shelves in the play area, this one was the most popular. Dammit.
