by Jeannie Watt
She stopped dead, and then, when he didn’t move, she started forward again, her heart attempting to hammer its way out of her chest. When had she ever reacted to a man like this?
When had it ever mattered this much?
“All packed?” he asked, his low voice rolling over her, giving her a frisson of hope.
“Everything is in the car. I’ve just got to change into my travel clothes.” Which were in the house. “I’m leaving the dress.” As if that mattered.
“I wanted to say goodbye.”
“Yes.” And since it was the last time she would see him for who knew how long, and not knowing how things might change, she rose up on her toes to kiss him. Travis took hold of her upper arms and met her halfway, meeting her lips with a kiss that had her taking hold of his shoulders to keep her knees from buckling. When he raised his head, she took a slow backward step, needing to put space between them before she gave in to temptation and kissed him again.
You’re leaving this behind for a job.
Cassie shushed her small, shaken voice.
Travis brought a hand up to her cheek and, as he met her gaze, she caught a glimpse of something that made her heart twist. A split second later his expression shuttered, and she was left facing the same cool Travis who’d dropped her at the house.
“Are you sure about what you’re doing?” he asked.
No. Not even close.
“I’m sure about the first step.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips gentle on her skin, and she had the craziest feeling that he was memorizing her face.
She didn’t want him to have to memorize... She wanted to be there with him.
“This is getting hard,” she said. “Really hard.”
“Yes,” he said softly. “I know.”
He leaned in to give her one more soft kiss. “Text me when you get there?”
“Yes.” She was barely holding on, and she needed to get a grip, step back into the old persona she would use to handle drama at the school district. The fact that she couldn’t instantly do so was telling.
“Drive safe.” He stepped back, gave her one last look, then turned and started for the barn where the reception was in full swing.
Cassie watched him go, her chest tightening to the point that she could barely breathe. He disappeared inside the warmly lit building and she forced her shoulders back.
One crisis at a time.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“I CAN’T BELIEVE it ends like this.” Will took another turn around the living room, but Rosalie didn’t point out that he was going to wear out his socks if he didn’t stop. “They’re both too stubborn for his own good.”
“Where do they get it?” she asked mildly. But she was frustrated, too. She understood why Cassie had left four days ago. And she understood why her granddaughter didn’t want to make promises and commitments that early in a new relationship. But still...
“Stubbornness is a virtue when used in the right situation.”
“And they’re not doing it right?”
“You know I’m not a romantic.” Rosalie nodded patiently as Will shot her a look. Satisfied that she agreed, he continued pacing. “However, Travis isn’t exactly a kid anymore. If he’s going to settle down, he can’t be holed up on the ranch all the time. It isn’t like women are going to find him there.”
That was a new take on the matter.
“Who will run the ranch?” She gave him a look that clearly said, It better not be you, who are retired and living with your wife.
“Travis mentioned some possibilities a couple of days ago. If that’s what it takes to keep him happy, well, I guess it’s what it takes.”
“I don’t think Travis wants to leave the ranch. I think he needs to not be the heart and soul of it.”
“Agreed. He needs time to go see Cassie and work all this out.”
Rosalie focused on her embroidering, pulling her mouth tight to keep from smiling. For not being a romantic, Will seemed determined to have everyone in his immediate sphere happily paired up.
“Maybe they’re not right for one another,” she ventured for the sake of argument.
Will turned. “Do you believe that?”
No, which made her almost as frustrated as Will. Cassie had had a glow about her that Rosalie hadn’t seen in years. A glow she hadn’t had when she’d arrived back on the ranch a month and a half ago.
“I believe they have to work this out themselves. Why don’t we give them a few months before intervening?”
“Like I would intervene.” Frustration colored his voice as he added, “I can’t figure out a way to intervene.”
Rosalie put her embroidery aside and got to her feet, then crossed the room to put her arms around her husband, who was not a romantic.
“Set up a cage match?” she said.
“If only it was that easy, Rosalie. If only.”
* * *
FIVE DAYS AFTER Cassie had said her goodbyes and flown back to Wisconsin to fight the good fight, Travis took a tour of the ranch with his dad in the side-by-side UTV. His parents were full partners in the operation and Dan wanted to see the changes Travis had made since his last visit more than a year ago. Travis was happy to oblige.
He was happy for anything that took his mind off Cassie for a spell. Not that he was wringing his hands and lamenting. No. He’d spent his time since her departure in the same way that she would have. Setting out a course of action and attending to detail.
“I sometimes forget how beautiful it is here,” Dan said. The sun had finally come out and the rain-washed air was crystal clear. The grass seemed greener and the distant mountains bluer. “I haven’t smelled wet pine and juniper in a long time.”
“You probably haven’t smelled anything wet in a long time,” Travis joked, even though he knew Arizona got the occasional torrential rain. “I’m hoping to get down your way in the fall, when it cools off.”
“Are you sure it’s Arizona you want to visit?”
“I’m going to make a couple of visits to different places,” he said. “Cassie was right about getting off the ranch being healthy.”
“Dad is stubborn. And frugal.”
“And close to rich, but we won’t go there.”
“Have you minded your time on the ranch?” his father asked.
Travis gave his head a shake as he slowed the side-by-side at a gap in the trees, where they could look out over the Ambrose Valley. “Granted, I wanted to work somewhere else for a while after graduation. I didn’t want to be one of those bubble people who never experience anything—however, I’ve found there are other ways of expanding horizons.”
“But time off the ranch will still be welcome.”
“Totally.”
They sat in silence looking out over the valley. Gavin was just visible in the distance. His cultural hub. Travis smiled a little. He’d done a lot of thinking since Cassie left. Thinking and trying not to panic.
His dad seemed to read his thoughts. “What are you going to do about Cassie?”
“Continue to let her drive me nuts, I guess.”
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah.” Travis rubbed his temple. Maybe sharing his deep thoughts on the matter wasn’t a bad thing. He didn’t do a lot of it; the McGuire men tended to work through their difficulties alone.
“Cassie is afraid of not being able to balance a new relationship with her job demands.” There it was in a nutshell. He kept the part about him wondering if she was going to use her job as an excuse to keep from taking a chance with him.
“What are you going to do?”
“Convince her otherwise.”
“How?”
“I’m still working that out.”
He couldn’t just show up in Wisconsin. That would only add to her s
tress and make her feel cornered. When Cassie was pushed, she pushed back.
“She’s not an easy woman,” he added, and his dad gave a bark of laughter.
“That’s an understatement. She used to get so far under your skin. There were a couple of times when she got you and it looked like smoke was about to roll out of your ears.”
She was still under his skin. He couldn’t imagine her not being there. Under his skin. In his life. Driving him nuts.
“Have you heard from her?”
“One text after she’d gotten home safely.” He hadn’t expected more. Good thing, or he would have been disappointed. “I imagine she’s neck-deep in her crisis.”
His father gave a slow nod. “I hope you work this out. And if Rey says yes to the job, then that’ll free you up.”
“The ranch needs two people most of the time,” he pointed out.
Dan gave him a look. “But not all the time.”
“That’s what I’m banking on.”
* * *
CASSIE’S PHONE RANG as she began putting away groceries after yet another long workday, and when she saw Darby’s name on the screen rather than Rhonda’s, she snatched it up from the counter.
“How are you?” she asked, awkwardly balancing the phone on her shoulder while she continued stashing cans in a cupboard. Canned soup, a quick and easy dinner. She was once again all about quick and easy with next to no time at home. It was a good thing she hadn’t brought a kitten home. It would have perished from loneliness. She’d been back at work for two weeks and could count the waking hours she’d spent at home in the low double digits.
“You sound funny.”
Cassie pushed the last can into place and adjusted the phone. “Better?”
“Yes. Guess what?”
“You tried out for the San Francisco Giants?” Darby’s favorite baseball team.
“I’m going home to stay.”
Cassie almost dropped the phone. “Home, home? Like Gavin home?”
“Yes.” The sheer delight in Darby’s voice made Cassie smile even as she felt a tiny stab of jealousy.
“Do you have a job?”
“No.” She spoke the word in the same happy tone. “I’m moving in with my brother for now, and when I get a job, I’ll get my own place. Please don’t think I’m being irresponsible, but, Cassie, I haven’t been able to find a job in my field, and then, a couple of nights ago I realized that I don’t want a job in my field. I want to go home. I want to be happy.”
Cassie rubbed her forehead as she took a couple of steps across her kitchen to the small dining room, where she sank down onto a chair. She’d been giving this happiness thing a lot of thought herself.
“I don’t think you’re being irresponsible.” A few months ago, she might have tried to talk Darby out of such a move, but she was not the same woman now. “I think you have to go for it.”
“It won’t be easy, but I’ll be closer to my family and... Yeah.”
“You’re my hero,” Cassie said softly.
“Really?”
“Yes. What you’re doing takes guts. Good for you.”
“Thank you.” A beat of awkward silence followed, as if Darby was waiting for Cassie to bring up Montana or Travis or any of the things that were eating away at her, but she wasn’t ready. “So hey, I’ll keep you posted,” Darby continued. “I know it’s late, but I wanted to share.”
“I’m glad you did. I think you’re doing the right thing.”
“Thanks.”
After Darby ended the call, Cassie set the phone on the dining room table and then glanced at the clock. It was late. Close to eleven, and tomorrow was a long day which would end in a special meeting of the school board meant to finalize all the many changes she and Rhonda and their team had poured their lifeblood into over the past fourteen nonstop workdays.
But despite having next to no time to herself, she still managed to stew about her life choices.
The good. The bad. The misguided.
* * *
“CAN YOU BELIEVE Nelson tried to derail me?” Rhonda took another long drag on her cigarette while Cassie turned her head to avoid the smoke. They had a lot of informal meetings on the park bench across the street from the school since Rhonda had once again taken up the habit.
Joe Nelson, one of the board members, had questioned Rhonda’s commitment to her new position as acting superintendent, asking if she planned to retire next summer. If so, he suggested that they start the search for a permanent superintendent now. He’d looked directly at Cassie as he spoke, and in response a wave of panic went through her.
She’d thought about that unexpected panic for the remainder of the meeting, until a motion had been made to officially move Rhonda into the top slot. The motion passed and Cassie all but slumped in her chair with relief. She wasn’t ready for the top job.
She didn’t even know if she wanted it.
Her time at home had had an unexpected effect on her. It had made her question not so much her career trajectory, but her priorities. The conclusion she was coming to, slowly but surely, was that a job might keep the electricity on, but a significant other kept you warm at night. Her professional life, which had once felt so rich, seemed rich no more. In other words, there was a big Travis-sized hole in her life.
A car drove by and the person behind the wheel waved. Lucky Sheila, the maintenance director, heading home after the emergency board meeting. Cassie and Rhonda still had work to do, and Cassie was struck by the fact that not that long ago, she patted herself on the back for staying longer than anyone else to tie up details and plan for the next day.
“I’m going home.” She got to her feet.
Rhonda did a double take before putting out her cigarette and dropping the butt into a sand-filled bucket near the bench. “We have to put together the last details of the insurance negotiations.”
“I’ve already put in a thirteen-hour day. I’m going home.”
“This isn’t like you.”
“Yeah. I know.” Cassie smoothed her chiffon skirt. She was dressing a bit freer than she used to. Somehow climbing into her suit didn’t feel as empowering as it once had.
“Where is your head?”
“Montana.” Cassie met Rhonda’s gaze dead-on.
“You aren’t thinking of...” Rhonda’s mouth worked as her words trailed off, as if she was afraid to put an idea in Cassie’s head.
“I’m thinking of figuring out a balance between life and work.”
“You have a commitment here.”
“I do. But I don’t owe the place my soul.”
Rhonda gaped at her, then gave her head a small shake as if to clear it. “I’m not asking for your soul,” she snapped.
No. Just eighteen-hour days. Cassie didn’t mind hard work. She didn’t mind eighteen-hour days, but she did mind people expecting it of her as a matter of course. The school district was going through rocky times, but the worst of it was past, yet Rhonda still wanted to work until the evening hours and beyond. They’d done an amazing job of getting things back on track, but there was no need to continue working ridiculous hours.
“This is a job, Rhonda. It’s not healthy to make it a lifestyle.”
And truthfully? She couldn’t stop thinking about Darby moving home. Darby had chosen what she wanted and was determined to make it work.
Cassie had changed what she wanted—she could see that now. Did she have the courage to make it work?
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she said as they crossed the street to the parking lot behind the district office.
“Do you want this job?” Rhonda asked when they reached her car.
“I’ll do my best for the district.” She wasn’t yet ready to say she might walk.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It is, Rhonda. Just not
the one you want to hear. And another thing...that long weekend coming up? I’m using it to go home.”
“Cassie...” Rhonda took her boss voice, the one she used before putting forth a nonnegotiable. “There are other people who could fill your position.”
Cassie almost laughed. “If you can find someone willing to put in the hours, do it.”
Rhonda’s eyebrows slowly lifted. Cassie had just crossed a line. Not a wise move where Rhonda was concerned. So Cassie did what her gut was telling her to do to resolve the situation.
She doubled down.
“I’ll resign my position if you find someone you think is more committed.”
“Don’t tempt me, Cassie.”
Cassie smiled the same smile she’d worn when Travis had dared her to eat an onion in fifth grade.
“Consider yourself tempted, Rhonda.”
* * *
TRAVIS STUDIED THE calendar on his phone as he finished his last cup of coffee.
Rey would start work in two weeks. Once he’d floated the job offer, things had moved rapidly. Rey drove to Gavin to meet with Will, had managed to come out of the interview unscathed and had then given notice on his apartment in Spokane. He wasn’t going to make nearly the money he’d made at the Agri-Tech job, but he was getting a good severance package and like he’d told Travis, sometimes working at a job that allowed you to connect to the earth instead of to bureaucrats was worth a cut in pay.
It also made Travis think that perhaps he hadn’t missed that much by coming back to the ranch after college.
But he did miss Cassie.
Almost three weeks without a word and the radio silence was getting to him. Had she forgotten him?
He didn’t believe that for a minute, but Cassie was stubborn, and she was deeply into her job.
He pushed his chair back and grabbed his hat off the table before heading outside. Cassie’s McHenry mare was grazing with the others. He’d thought about using her as an excuse to contact Cassie, then decided he didn’t need an excuse. If he didn’t hear from her in the next few days, he was initiating contact. The worst thing she could do was to shoot him down. The best thing would be to agree to his plan to fly to Wisconsin and see her.
