by Charley Case
“She says she’s not a specimen,” Finn translated.
Anita looked from Finn to Penny and back. “They can talk? I thought they were just a smaller version of wyverns? Intelligent, but no more than, say, a dog or horse.”
Finn laughed. “Penny is probably the smartest person here, by a long shot.” He cleared his throat and glanced over to Preston. “Can we move this along? I’m sure your time is precious, as is ours.”
“Yes,” Preston agreed, “my apologies. I have a bit of a problem. One of the hellhounds has been stolen, and I need to have it recovered as soon as possible.”
Finn blinked in confusion. “I’m sorry, no disrespect intended, but that’s not really what we do. We find artifacts, particularly dwarven ones. I’m sure there are plenty of qualified people who can find your hound for you.”
“Unfortunately,” Anita chimed in, her fascination with Penny abated for the moment, “we tried that already, and they didn’t have any success. The problem is that the hound in question was pregnant, and by now, her pups are already grown. Tracking spells don’t work on hellhounds, and once they’ve imprinted on a person, they won’t respond to anyone but their master, so magical whistles and such don’t work either.”
Finn frowned and glanced at Penny, who gave him a shrug. Mila gave a shrug too.
“Yeah, I understand how hellhounds work.” Finn cocked his head as he thought about that further, and added, “Sort of. I’ve come across a few in my travels, but I still don’t understand why you think I can help.”
“Because the hound was taken just after she was impregnated,” Anita said as if it were obvious.
Finn was starting to get a little frustrated with the woman, but Preston stepped in to clarify.
“When hellhounds breed, they tend to be a little boisterous, to the point that the females don’t always survive. Since there are so few of the magnificent creatures left, we take every precaution to ensure the female’s survival. A few years back, I purchased a dwarven-made ring of stone skin. We use it to make the female much more resilient during mating and the resulting pregnancy. This particular female was stolen while still wearing the ring.”
“Ah,” Finn said, finally getting where this was all going. “So you want me to find the ring, and hope that the hound is still attached to it, is that it?”
“Precisely.” Preston smiled. “The problem is that the hound would have had her pups nearly a month ago, and as you may or may not know, hellhounds grow very fast. The pups will be fully matured by now and could be a threat to a lot of people. If the pups imprinted on the thief at birth, then that person will have an entire pack at his disposal.”
Mila raised an eyebrow. “How many pups are in one litter? You make it sound like a ton.”
“Anywhere from twenty to thirty,” Anita said before sucking one last, long drag from her cigarette, and dropping what was left into a bucket full of butts.
“Twenty to thirty?” Mila balked. “That’s insane.”
“There’s another problem,” Finn said with a sigh. “If the ring was still on the hound when she gave birth, then its magic would have transferred to the pups. This transference was one of the problems found with skin transformation talismans. It’s one reason they are so hard to come by.”
Mila put two and two together. “So, you’re telling us there is a pack of twenty to thirty hellhounds out there, under some thief’s control, with stone skin? That sounds like a fucking nightmare.”
Preston and Anita shared a worried look.
“Actually,” Preston admitted, “We didn’t know that the ring’s properties would transfer. This is, perhaps, a little worse than we thought.”
Finn grunted his agreement, pulling out his box of Chews and tossing a few in his mouth. After he finally swallowed, he frowned.
“Okay, we’ll take the case.”
Chapter Eight
After Finn and Mila agreed to help Preston Meriwether track down his missing hellhound, they began negotiations for compensation.
Mila was shocked at the extravagant numbers Preston was throwing their way, but Finn waved off the offer.
“We don’t need money, to be honest.”
Preston’s eyebrows went up. “If not money, what were you thinking of as compensation?”
Finn glanced at Penny, riding Mila’s shoulder. The faerie dragon grinned, knowing what he was thinking.
“A favor,” he said firmly. “It’s my favorite currency on a new world, and I think we’re going to need a few in the future.”
“I don’t know.” Preston crossed his thick arms and frowned. “An open-ended favor can be very dangerous for someone in my position. I have a public image to uphold, for the good of the magical community.”
Finn liked where Preston’s head was; personally, he wouldn’t give an open favor as payment for anything, unless he trusted the person completely.
“That’s a fair stance. How about we put some limitations on it, then?”
“I’m listening.”
Finn decided he could work with someone who was willing to listen.
“We will only call in the favor if it helps the community as a whole. No personal shit, just community-based favors.”
A smile spread across Preston’s bovine lips, and he held out a hand. “Deal. I like the way you think, dwarf. It seems the stories about your people are unfounded.”
Finn chuckled and shook the minotaur’s hand. “I wouldn’t say they’re unfounded. Most of the dwarves I know are right bastards. I left that life for a reason.”
Anita seemed like she wanted to get back to work, but was too nervous to say so, but Preston picked up on her jitters and gave her an out with a smile.
“Anita, I think we’re done here. I’ll be giving Mr. Dragonbender your number so they can reach out if they have any questions later.”
She brushed a strand of black hair behind her ear and opened the door, filling the exercise yard with barking and howling from inside. “That’s fine. I don’t sleep much, so feel free to call anytime.” She fished the earplugs from her lab coat’s pockets and slipped them into her ears before closing the door behind her, cutting off the racket of hellhounds.
“Come with me,” Preston said, leading them to a side gate. “Kal, my butler, has some parting gifts for you: a video from the surveillance system at the Menagerie, and what notes we have on the stone skin ring. It’s not much, but it’s all we have, unfortunately.”
They stepped out onto the public path and wound their way back toward Preston’s private entrance.
“So, this all happened two months ago?” Mila asked, glancing up at Preston, her brow furrowed.
“That’s right.” Preston held out a hand, directing her to take the next turn.
“Who did you hire to look for the hound first? What kind of resources did they have at their disposal?” Mila raised an eyebrow.
Finn fished out his box of Charleston Chews and shook a few into his hand while he tried to figure out what Mila was getting at.
Penny heard the candies shaking and leaped from Mila’s shoulder to his in one bound, making Mila stumble slightly.
“Chishi,” Penny said with an embarrassed smile at Mila, when the small woman glanced back in surprise at the sudden move.
“She says ‘sorry,’” Finn said and held out the box to Mila, who shook her head.
Penny held out her hand, not wanting the box to be put away before she’d had her fill. Finn gave her a few of the small, chocolate nougat chews before slipping the box back into the pocket of his bomber jacket.
“To answer your question,” Preston said, leading them down the side path and swiping his finger over the scanner in the brick wall. “We contacted the Huldu for help and a few of the detectives that are in the know when it comes to us Magicals. I also hired a private investigator, but all those resources came up empty. The video doesn’t reveal any kind of distinguishing features we could use to track down the thief, and there’s been no criminal activity p
ointing to the hound, or to the use of the stone skin ring.”
Finn nodded as Preston led them back into his gardens and toward the large manor. “That’s the problem with criminals. Most of them don’t get caught committing the initial crime; it’s what they do with the goods that gets them caught.”
Preston smiled. “That is what my private investigator told me. The trail went cold, as he put it.”
“I have to say,” Mila said, putting her hands in the pockets of her jacket against a cold breeze that had suddenly sprung up. “Contacting Finn to find the artifact was a pretty clever move.”
“Well,” Preston cleared his throat a little and showed her a white smile. “I didn’t get rich by looking at opportunities from only one angle. You three are making quite the noise in your own way. Once I heard there was a real dwarf in town, I knew I had to get in contact.”
They walked up the half dozen marble steps to the back veranda, and Preston held out his large hand to Finn. “I’m afraid this is where we must part ways. Duty calls in the office.”
He and Finn shook hands, and Preston turned to Mila, taking her hand in his a little more gently, and patting it with his free hand in a familiar way.
“Dr. Winters, it has been a pleasure. And Ms. Penny, I hope you never lose that glow; it is far too enchanting.”
Penny blushed again and waved off the compliment, her eyes shining with pleasure.
Preston gave them all a half-bow before heading through a side entrance to the house.
Finn and Mila were lost for a second, not sure where to go, when the double glass doors they had originally exited the house from opened, and Kal, the centaur butler, greeted them.
“I understand that you shall be working for Mister Meriwether until this unfortunate event is solved.” He gave them a half-bow and motioned for them to enter the house.
“I don’t know about working for, but we will be working with him, yes,” Finn clarified, not liking the centaur’s tone for some reason. “He said you had some things for us.”
Kal gave Finn a forced smile but pulled a flash drive and a manila envelope from inside his black tuxedo jacket and handed them over.
“This is a file with all the surveillance from the night in question. In the envelope, you will find the original notes that came with the ring. Hopefully, something in there can be of help.” From his front pocket, he pulled out a thick business card and handed that over as well. “Mister Meriwether told me to give you his personal number, along with our zoologist Anita’s as well. Please keep calls to Mister Meriwether to a minimum. He is a very busy man.”
Finn gave him a salute with the card before putting it in his back pocket. “Thanks, Kal.”
The butler responded with a slight bow, before holding out a hand to show them the way out. “This way, if you please.”
He led them to the front door and opened it for them, standing to the side so they could pass by. Mila walked out, followed by Finn and Penny.
As soon as they were out the door, Kal closed it, almost clipping Finn’s heel.
“He seems like a pleasant fellow,” Finn said, his eyebrow raised at the large, wooden door.
“Shiri chi chi.” Penny shot a small flame at the door for emphasis.
Finn laughed, and Mila cocked her head.
“I think I get her point, but what exactly did she say?”
Finn glanced at Penny, who blushed purple with embarrassment.
“Uh, it was nothing. Just a colloquial insult from her people. She called him a rainbow turd.”
Mila furrowed her brow. “A rainbow turd?” A laugh burst out of her. “How is that an insult?”
Finn chuckled with her as they walked down the steps and toward the Hellcat. “It’s a bit more intense where she’s from.”
“Squee shir, shee,” Penny said with a huff.
Finn laughed again. “She said it’s a bit like calling someone ‘fuckface,’ but I would say it’s more like calling someone a doodoo-head.”
Penny folded her arms and glared at him, making Mila laugh.
They climbed into the car, and Mila turned it around using the large roundabout in front of the steps and headed back down the long drive.
“Well, what did you think of Preston?” Finn asked when they had gotten back on the highway.
Mila had been in a bit of a trance since driving out through the gates of the manor, but she snapped out of it with a shake of her head.
“Oh, uh, it was nice.”
She flipped on her turn signal and gunned it past a minivan.
“You don’t seem all that excited, considering you just met one of the most prominent men on your planet. You seemed overjoyed on the way there,” Finn probed, seeing the thoughtful look on her face.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. It was great. I just didn’t think he was going to turn out to be a minotaur.”
Finn fished out the box of Chews. “Yeah, I didn’t really see that one coming, either. I hear their kind are quite the magic users, in addition to being physically superior to almost everyone. It makes sense that he would have become a powerful figure in the nonmagical world.”
He saw that she wasn’t really listening to him, her head nodding along to some inner dialogue.
“What’s wrong with you?”
She glanced at him, then laughed. “Sorry. I was just wondering how Kal works.”
Finn squinted, trying to figure out what she meant. “I suppose he has time off, like he would at a regular job.”
“No, I mean how he works physically. Like, does he have two rib cages? And if so, does that mean he has two hearts? Two digestive systems? Does the first system just dump into his second stomach? It doesn’t make sense.” Her eyes were wide and a little frantic.
Finn and Penny exchanged a worried look.
“Well,” Finn began. “From what I understand, his heart and lungs are in the human torso, and the rest is in the horse torso.”
She thought about that for a few seconds before shaking her head. “That would mean that his throat goes all the way through the human part of his body. You could punch him in the gut, and effectively choke him out.”
Finn chuckled. “You just met a centaur and a minotaur, and the thing that is hanging you up is how long Kal’s throat is?”
She laughed. “I suppose that is a little crazy, isn’t it?”
“No crazier than the fact that we’re doing eighty miles an hour by burning a refined liquid in a metal block. The universe is a weird place; don’t let it get to you.”
She smiled at him, then stomped on the accelerator, launching them down the freeway. “I’m hungry. That breakfast was good, but I was too nervous to eat much. I’m thinking Reubens for lunch.”
“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds good to me.”
“Chi, chi!”
Chapter Nine
The elevator opened on the top floor of the condo, and Simon and Becky were waiting for Finn and Mila in the hallway.
“Hey, guys.” Becky was extra chipper, nearly bouncing. “We found a place online last night, took a look this morning, and we’re ready to move on it. When will the bank guy be here to sign papers? We’re so excited! I can’t believe this is all real. Will there be time for us to get some food? Maybe a shower? I just can’t believe our luck!”
Finn was a little taken aback by the verbal assault from the nearly vibrating woman. He looked over to Mila, who was just as shocked by Becky’s manic eyes.
They both stood in silence, trying to think of an answer, till the elevator door dinged and started to close in front of them.
Becky’s hand shot into the gap, opening the door again. Her smile was intense.
“Uh, the title guy said he would be here in about an hour,” Mila said, finally finding her voice. “Is that an okay time for you?”
Simon, seeing his wife’s runaway exuberance turning the hallway into a creep show, pulled her back from the door to let Finn and Mila out.
They stepped off as Becky see
med to realize she was becoming a little too intense and calmed down a bit, but her eyes still sparkled like a little girl’s might as she stared into a window display at Christmastime.
The sound of quiet chuckling from Penny made Finn reach back to where she rested in her hammock on his back and flick her. She quieted, and Simon raised an eyebrow at him.
“Sorry,” he said without explanation.
“Why don’t I come get you when the bank’s people get here, and we can button this whole thing up this afternoon?” Mila smiled, pulling her key out and unlocking her door.
“That sounds great,” Simon said, pulling Becky back toward their door. “We’ll see you then.”
Finn and Mila waited until the excited couple closed their door, then looked at one another before bursting into laughter.
“Holy shit, that woman was intense,” Mila said, opening their door all the way and walking in.
Finn followed close behind. “She knows what she wants. You have to admire that.”
“True. That’s more than most people have.” Mila hung her jacket on a hook by the door and dropped her keys in the basket on the counter. “I’ll make the Reubens. Why don’t you check out that surveillance video? My laptop is connected to the TV; you can just play it on there.”
Finn pulled out the flash drive from his pocket and raised an eyebrow, not exactly sure what to do with it. Penny climbed up from her hammock and rolled her eyes. She scurried down his arm, snatched the small stick, and leaped from his wrist, gliding over to the coffee table to insert the drive into the USB slot.
“Thanks,” Finn said, taking off his bomber jacket and hanging it beside Mila’s coat before walking to the fridge and grabbing a beer. “Want one?” He held a bottle out to her.
“Sure, but I’ll take one of the wheat ones.” She reached around him and pulled out two packages from the deli drawer, one of corned beef, and another of swiss cheese.
He popped the bottlecaps and handed the wheat ale to Mila before taking a seat on the couch. Just as his ass hit the cushion, Penny got the video up and playing.
