by Charity B.
I hate that Toben is hurting. He knows he’s my best friend, though. My companion. My other half, and nothing will ever change that. Tonight made me happy and he always says that’s all that matters to him.
He runs his hand across my cheek. “I love you, Tavin.”
“I love you, too, Toben.”
As my body drifts, he sings me our lullaby.
Pretty little Shadow girl, please don’t cry.
I’ll stay with you until I die.
In the dark we dance and stay.
While the monster steals our souls away.
Bloody little Shadow girl, my dearest friend.
It’s you and me ‘till the very end.
SHE FUCKED HIM? HOW IS that possible? My skin feels like it’s going to rip apart and my veins are about to burst open. How could she let him touch her? He’s a Goddamn stranger!
She won’t even let me, the one who has done nothing besides love her and care for her, have that part of her. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to find out who this asshole is and send Logan after him. Make him regret the moment he ever laid eyes on her.
How dare he lay his disgusting suit hands on her. I want to vomit when I think about the things they did together. As I walk out the door, I call a cab. My original intent was to spend the night with Nikki and Tiffany, but tonight, I want to taste more than tears.
If Logan found out about this, he’d probably beat me within an inch of my last breath, but he won’t find out about this one.
Suicide Slums is crawling with whores and working girls. Nobody will miss one less walking fuck hole standing on the corner.
Directing the cabby to the center of Shadoebox’s shithole, I tell him to stop. I can’t let him see where I’m going.
As I walk down the alley to the next street, I turn the corner to see four girls wearing outfits that barely serve a purpose and leave little to the imagination. One of the girls smokes a cigarette as the other three keep an eye out for their next John.
Stuffing my hands in my pocket, I walk up to them and I don’t even get within speaking distance when I choose my playmate for the evening. The one closest to resembling Tavin, between the four of them. The one smoking the cigarette.
They turn up their noses at me as if they’re anything more than sloppy holes to slide into. I nod to them in greeting.
“Hey.”
“This isn’t a charity, little boy blue. We’s needs cash.”
I ignore the one who speaks as I pull out a wad of bills and give them to the girl smoking. “I’m Toben. Do you wanna kick it tonight?”
She raises a brown eyebrow before a smile slowly stretches across her face. Crushing her butt under her stiletto, she holds out her hand for me to take. “Let’s go, handsome.”
Leading her down the alley, I give her the vial of coke.
“On the house.”
Her hair is much shorter than Tavin’s, though long enough to flip over her shoulder. “Score. Thanks.”
I’m really just flying by the seat of my pants here. I don’t want to take her to Nikki and Tiffany’s and I can’t take her home, so I grin when I see the bridge. “Come on.”
She follows me down a hill and under the bridge. As soon as we reach the water, her hand rubs over my pants and she undoes my zipper before lowering to her knees. It has to hurt to kneel down here on bare skin, but she doesn’t seem to care as she digs into my underwear and removes my already hard cock.
“How old are you?”
She giggles and sucks me a few times before responding. “Twenty-one.”
Her tongue is slurping and she’s doing this with way too much vigor. I shove her back against the bank and she spreads her legs like the repulsive whore she is. Pinning down her shoulders with my knees, I shove myself between her lips. I fuck her mouth and she takes it impressively, though she doesn’t have much choice.
“Fucking eat it, you cock-sucking bitch.”
Her body squirms beneath me as she chokes and pushes at my thighs. I pump a few times before pulling out and hearing her gasp.
“Please don’t-”
I punch her in the jaw. Her face doesn’t matter. She won’t last past the next hour anyway.
“Please don’t what? Fuck you like I paid you?”
She grabs her face and starts crying, so I wrap my hand around her throat as I dig into my pocket for a condom. She’s a street whore. Who knows what disgusting diseases she’s riddled with. I rip it with my teeth and slide it on with my free hand.
Pushing up her mini skirt, I tear her panties to give me access. “So, is it just me? You can fuck some random guy, but you won’t let me near you?”
“What? What the hell are you talking about?!” She screams, so I hit her again.
I shove myself into her. “What did I have to do to be enough for you?” I squeeze the girl’s throat as she claws at my hands. “I would do anything for you and you know that and I’m still not good enough!” Her body fights beneath me causing me to squeeze her neck tighter. “I’m gonna kill whoever this fucker is, do you hear me?! I’m going to cut off his cock so he can never put it inside you again.” I ram into the body beneath me, feeling my balls get heavy and I tighten my hand. “What do I have to do? I’ll do anything, Love…please just don’t let me go…”
The deeper I fuck, the harder I clench my fingers into her skin as her thrashing eventually stills beneath me. “Fuck you! Fuck you! I love you. I love you!”
My orgasm explodes into the condom as I pump into the limp corpse wrapped around my cock. I know she’s dead before I even remove my hand.
“I love you so much, Tav.” I brush the hair from the dead girl’s face. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
I take myself out of her and roll her body across the sand as I remove the condom and toss it in the water. Pulling my pants up, I take my money back and climb up the hill.
Two weeks later
Where the fuck is she?! It’s been ten days since I’ve heard from her. Ten motherfucking days! Her cell phone was left on the table as well as her keys. My stomach knots up even tighter with every passing day regardless of how much blow I snort or smack I shoot.
I can’t even remember the last thing I said to her because I was too fucked up. She wouldn’t just disappear though, not without me.
The last I heard, she had a playdate downtown and that was only supposed to be for an hour. As much as I want to, I’m refraining from getting Logan or Kyle involved until I know what’s going on. Of course, I’ll get beaten for not telling him as soon as she went missing, but what other choice do I have? At least if I can find her before he gets back I can prepare myself for how bad this is.
Poor Tiffany and Nikki have had a rough couple of weeks. Ever since Tavin’s ‘date’ and even worse since she’s gone missing, I’ve been on edge more than normal. They’ve gotten the brunt of my frustrations and fears and they both need a break or they won’t be of any use, anyway.
I have to figure this out because I went too far with the hooker under the bridge and I can’t do that again.
Snuffing out my Marlboro under my sneaker, I open the door to a shitty bar I haven’t tried yet, walk up to the bartender, and toss my ID on the counter.
“Double shot of Jack.” He grunts in acknowledgement as he pulls down a bottle and takes out a glass from beneath the bar.
I wrap my hand around a photo of Tavin at one of our parties this past winter and place it on the bar. Tapping the picture, I ask, “Have you seen this girl in the last few weeks?”
He narrows his eyes and puts down my drink before picking up the photograph. Pulling a pair of glasses over his face he gives it an honest once over.
“Sorry, kid,” he snorts and shakes his head, “we don’t get girls like this in here too often.”
Nodding, I swallow my drink and take back Tavin’s photo. I can’t get too drunk because I have a playdate with Mr. Wallace. Too much whiskey can make it difficult to get hard with the Clients, sometimes. Seein
g as he’s the Mayor of Shadoebox and I’ve never played with him before, it would be in my best interest not to try my luck.
Taking a cab back to my place, I get ready for Mr. Wallace. Like many of my Clients, he wants to come to the house so he doesn’t risk being seen in a hotel with a paid whore…and a male one at that.
I walk inside and go straight to the kitchen to dip into the coke stash. Her smile in the photo makes my heart ache as I hang it back on the fridge. It’s getting more difficult to stop imagining her dead body chopped up in someone’s trunk.
I ache to kiss her so I settle for kissing the picture instead. “You better be fucking okay.”
Fuck, the teeth on these clamps are gonna rip my nipple right off. Mr. Wallace yanks on them causing blood to seep from the broken skin. I’m lying on my back on the couch while his tongue traces my balls. His hand strokes me fast and I pump my hips, thrusting up into his hot mouth, forcing me to moan.
“Does that feel good, my little Sweet Boy?”
“Oh, yes, Mr. Wallace.”
He sucks hard and I grab his hair before he removes his mouth long enough to say, “Daddy.” Just as I’m about to ask what the hell that’s supposed to mean, his finger circles my asshole and he tugs on the clamps again. “I want my little boy to know how much I love sucking on his big boy cock.” Goddamn it. I hate fetishes. Swallowing my grimace, I nod and earn another yank on the clamps. “Tell me how it feels.”
He wraps his lips around me and swallows me all the way to the base. Playing the part, I give him what he’s paying for.
“It feels so good. I like it when you lick my dick…Daddy.”
That riles him up. He slurps me a few more time before sitting up and taking his erection out of his already undone trousers. “Now it’s time to make Daddy feel good.”
He stands next to the couch and presses the tip to my lips. I look up at him and lightly lick the hole. His cock jerks as he groans and caresses my head over my beanie. “Be a good boy. Do it just like I showed you.”
Slowly opening my mouth, I take as much as I can. He fucks my face with vigor and I don’t have the skills Tavin does when it comes to gagging. Apparently, not everyone hates it, because the more I gag, the harder he thrusts.
Saliva runs down my cheeks as he pulls out of my mouth and leans down to remove the clamps, licking the blood from my nipples. “Do you want to be a big boy?”
I nod. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Bend over the couch and show me your little hole.”
I do as he says and once he’s licked me to the point that I’m ready, he rolls on the condom. The hardness of his length begs my hole to open up. With one thrust, he’s all the way inside and I successfully cover the unexpected pain with a moan. He picks up his pace and reaches around to stroke me. He’s starting to hit that spot and it causes my balls to tighten.
“Yes, Daddy,” I moan.
I think I might actually get this over with fairly quickly as long as I just give him whatever he wants in this twisted fantasy. My fingers grab at the fabric of the couch as his thrusts intensify.
“Fucking hell!”
I jump while still on Mr. Wallace’s dick because the voice that just yelled wasn’t his. I jerk my head up to see some random guy leaving my living room…next to her.
My heart explodes in my chest with both relief and fury. She’s safe, but who the fuck is she with and where the hell has she been?
“I’m so sorry!” She calls in almost a playful tone as she shuts the door behind them. Well, I’m glad she’s in a fucking good mood.
There’s no way I can wait till the end of this playdate to find out what the hell is going on. Mr. Wallace jumps away from me at the shock, and now he’s pissed.
“Who was that?! This is supposed to be confidential!”
I touch his chest to calm him down. “It’s still confidential. That was just Sweet Girl. You have nothing to worry about.” His nostrils flare so it’s probably stupid to continue. “If you wait for me upstairs in my bedroom, we can start our playdate all over again.” He sniffs, but he’s at least considering it. I swallow the vomit in my mouth before I say, “Please, Daddy?”
He huffs, though he nods and takes his things upstairs. Pulling up my pants, I barely get them buttoned before I swing open the door.
She’s okay.
I need her in my arms right now more than I need to inhale the oxygen around me. I fight tears as I pull her inside and hold her tighter than I have in a long time. I breathe in her scent and feel her skin beneath my fingers. My respite from my fear transforms into anger because this whole time, she’s been perfectly fine and just left me here to freak out.
And who is this asshole?
“Where the fuck have you been?! Do you have any idea how terrified I’ve been? Do you?”
She opens her mouth to speak when the unwelcome motherfucker cuts in. “Hey. Take it back a notch.”
The rage I’m feeling for this fuck is going to cause me to slit his throat sooner rather than later, if I give him an ounce of acknowledgement.
“Who the fuck is this?”
Her face softens and is graced with the same look she had the other night after her date. Oh my God…is this him? Has she been with him this whole time?!
She touches my face and it’s that touch that keeps me from painting this room in red. I feel like throwing up. This isn’t happening.
Looking over her shoulder she tells him, “I need a minute. Will you go into the kitchen, please?”
I don’t like the way she said that. What the hell is going on?
He obeys her like a bitch and as soon as he’s out of the living room, I grab her arm. “What the fuck, Tav?”
“I don’t have a lot of time to explain…”
“Then you better do it fucking fast.” I can’t explode on her, especially with the jolly blond giant in my kitchen, so I breathe in through my nose and cross my arms.
Her fingers pry my arms apart as she holds my hand and leads me to the couch. She sits on my lap and squeezes my face between her hands. “I am so sorry that I worried you. I didn’t know what to do. Logan can’t know about him and he can’t know about Logan.”
I pull out a cigarette and light it. I don’t understand what’s happening. I gnaw on my lip because I have to ask, “Why are you with him, Tavin?”
She shakes her head and her bangs flop around. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. A couple weeks ago, I got really upset and put too much in the needle. He found me here and took me to his place. I tried to tell him I had to leave, but he wanted me to get over the withdrawals and it’s not as if I can explain everything to him. He’s trying to be nice and I have been having so much fun with him, Tobe. You wouldn’t believe what it’s been like with him, without the Clients, without Logan…”
“And without me.”
Her eyes narrow as she kisses me. “You know that’s not true. Please try to understand, I won’t ever get a break like this again. I need a break Toben and I really like him.”
“You mean you needed a break. You’re home now, so your vacation is over. Now we have to come up with a story that won’t get us killed.”
She glances toward the kitchen and seems to be struggling to look me in the eye. “I want to stay until Logan gets back.”
The ringing starts in my ears and in my head, I’m screaming. She’s choosing to be away from me to be with someone else and she’s putting us both in danger.
“What?! Are you fucking insane?!”
She shushes me in our own damn house. She’s obviously not telling this guy much and that fact comforts me. She wants to play make believe with this twat? Fine. I’ve never been able to deny her anything if I could help it, and I won’t start now.
We won’t ever fit into the world she wants so badly to be a part of, and it’s better she learns that on her own. I just hope she comes to that conclusion real fucking quick because I hate being away from her.
Two Weeks Later
�
��Where is she?!” Logan doesn’t even get the front door opened as he bellows, “Where the fuck is she?”
I’m stupid enough to waste time by taking another drag when he rips the cigarette from my mouth and presses the burning cherry against the back of my neck. I take a sharp inhale as I stand.
Lifting his leg, he brings his shoe down hard against my thigh, knocking me to the floor. “Kneel!”
I hit my back on the coffee table as I struggle to obey and answer him. “I don’t know, Logan.” As I bring my hands behind my head, he kicks me in between my shoulder blades.
“Stay up.”
My heart pounds against my chest. I knew something was wrong when I arrived home to an empty house right after he told me to get my ass back here.
I don’t know why I can’t think of a legitimate lie to tell. I just don’t know what happened. She told me she was coming home when Logan got back in town and now he’s irate and she isn’t answering her phone. I can’t believe she let it go this far.
My ability to breathe is suddenly severed as something is wrapped around my throat. His warm breath brushes against my lips as he says, “There is nothing keeping me from tightening this belt until you’re nothing but a bag of blood and bones.”
My eyes begin to burn and I’ve always feared dying this way. Stab me or blow my brains out. I don’t want to struggle for my last moments like I have my entire life. He squeezes and I know I deserve to feel the pain and fear up until my final thoughts. I deserve it for the girl under the bridge, for Cadence, for Morgan and even for Lacie.
Relief sweeter than any candy he ever gave me floods my body as he releases the belt around my neck.
“How could you let this happen? She was your Goddamn responsibility!” The buckle on the belt crashes into my spine and I bite my lip, faltering in my position. He paces in front of me and growls, “Give me a reason not to kill you, Toben.”
I grit my teeth and I’m so grateful I was born a better liar than Tavin. “She hid this from me, too. I don’t know where she is and I don’t know where she’s been these last few weeks.” I look up at him and realize his face is cut. He walks closer and I see it’s not just a cut. The whole right side of his face is red and swollen. What happened there? Props to whoever the hell was able to pull that one off. “She won’t talk to me, Logan.”
