They went out to the barn, where the horse stood, saddled. “Mister Shane helped me brush him. He even held Ryan, so Ryan could have a turn. And Mister Shane told us about all the tack and how to use it. I’m going to be the best cowboy ever. I’m going to be like Mister Shane.”
Her son’s enthusiasm made her heart melt. It wasn’t often that Dylan was so enthusiastic about participating in an activity with his brother. Especially since he’d been forced to do so all day.
“And now you’re going to get to ride.” Shane gave her a warm smile before turning his gaze on her sons. “This first time, you’ll just sit on the horse and get used to him. And then I’ll walk you around. It’ll take a few times of us doing this, so I know you’re comfortable before I let you ride all by yourself.”
Shane looked at her son as he explained the rules and Dylan’s eyes were right on Shane. It was good to have him so focused. She hoped it was something they could continue. But, she supposed, that would all depend on Dylan’s behavior.
Once Dylan was seated on the horse, Shane put Ryan in the saddle with him. “Remember what I said about holding on tight to your brother. He’s counting on you to protect him.”
She liked the confident way Shane spoke to her son, like he truly believed in him and that Dylan was capable of doing the right thing. She pulled out her phone and took some pictures of the boys riding with Shane. She couldn’t remember a time when Dylan sat so tall and proud.
Ryan grinned. “Hor-sey.”
Her youngest son’s squeal of joy warmed her heart.
Dylan had never looked happier. Hopefully, this would be the very thing they needed to get his behavior on track.
Once the ride was over, Shane helped the boys off and then gave them jobs to help put away the horse equipment. Even little Ryan had his jobs. Shane would give him brushes and ask him to bring one to his brother or put it away. Small tasks, but it was enough to make both boys understand that they were required to help out. She almost hated to go, but she still needed to get dinner ready, and, somehow, she’d found herself talked into having to bring cookies to church tomorrow for the cookie-and-coffee social they always had afterward.
When she and the boys arrived home, Erin was waiting. “Open your wallet. I want to see that you spent all that money I gave you.”
Her sister was such a stickler. Leah let out a long sigh as she looked. “I only spent ten. I took the boys and Shane out for ice cream, then Shane invited us back to his place, where we spent the afternoon.”
“Work? You were supposed to take today off.”
“I did. We built a swing set that Shane had, so the boys would have something to play on when they came over, and then we took naps, and then Shane took the boys for a ride.”
She held out her phone to show her sister the pictures.
Erin scrolled through her screen. “These are so great. Look how happy they are.”
Nicole entered the room and Dylan ran to her. “Aunt Nicole! Mister Shane let us ride his horse. He said I’m well on my way to being a real cowboy. If I learn all my lessons, one day I can ride the horse all by myself.”
Nicole gave him a big hug. “That’s wonderful. You must have been a really good boy to be allowed to do that.”
Dylan nodded enthusiastically. “I was. We even let my mom take a nap for two whole hours.”
Her sisters stared at her. “Two hours?” Nicole asked. “That’s not like you. Are you coming down with something?”
Even Erin stared at her funny.
Leah shook her head. “No. I guess I was really tired. You guys were right about me needing a day off. I’m grateful that Shane was willing and able to take care of the boys so that I could do so. I didn’t mean to. It just sort of happened.”
Her sisters exchanged knowing glances. Hopefully, their I-told-you-so lecture wouldn’t be too long. But her sisters didn’t say anything. Instead, they gathered with the boys, who were chatting away about their day with Mister Shane, leaving Leah to go into the kitchen and start dinner. But then Erin joined her soon after.
“So, it was a good day with Mister Shane, was it?”
Leah let out a long sigh. “Yes, but don’t be getting any ideas about it.”
“I have no ideas that weren’t already put there by you. You don’t trust anyone with the boys, and I sure can’t see you trusting a man. Those boys of yours are already in love with him.”
Her sister’s words were like a bucket of cold water dumped on her. “Do you think I’m letting him get too close to them?”
Erin groaned. “You’re so dense sometimes. I’m not saying that all. I just think it’s remarkable that your sons trust him, with everything they’ve been through. Ryan, not so much, but Dylan? He’s been terrified of men since before his father died. If the boys think he’s something special, then maybe you should give him a chance, too.”
She finished pulling the chicken out of the refrigerator and turned to her sister. “What exactly are you saying?”
“I see the way you two look at each other when you think no one’s looking. Maybe you should give Shane a chance.”
Leah grabbed the seasoning and turned away from her sister. “Chance of what?”
“Let loose a little. He seems like a good guy, and your sons seem to agree. It wouldn’t kill you to go out on a date.”
Of all the people to give her such a lecture, Erin should have known better.
She turned back to her sister. “Do I really need to remind you of the bad track record we all have with men?”
Erin shrugged. “So three relationships ended badly. There are millions of other men out there.”
“You forgot about our father. He should be enough to put anyone off men forever. Look at poor Helen. She certainly didn’t remarry after him.”
Erin groaned. “Because there are four bad men out there, we should completely give up on the idea that maybe not all men are horrible?”
“So, if your ex-husband came back and said, hey Erin, let’s go out on a date, you would do it?”
“Number one, we aren’t talking about me dating again, and two, no one’s talking about getting together with an ex. But you know what? Lance isn’t a horrible person. I don’t regret the time I spent with him. We were both hurting too much to make it work. I would like to think that, someday, there’s a chance I’ll find love again. I’m sorry if you think that’s foolish. But I think it’s foolish for you to have a great person looking out for you, who’s good with your boys, who obviously likes you, and you act like it’s going to ruin your life.”
She hadn’t thought of it that way, but she also thought that her sister was being a little too hard on her. Erin’s ex hadn’t been awful the way Leah’s had. Maybe her sister couldn’t understand her fear of giving away her heart again.
“Please give him a chance. Don’t push him away the way you do everyone else. The boys are learning from your example. Don’t make them so wary of love because you’re afraid to risk your heart.”
Such an easy thing for her to say. But, fortunately, that wasn’t a bridge Leah needed to cross. “It’s not like he’s even asked me out. Maybe he really is just being nice.”
Erin snorted. “He’s not that nice to me and Nicole. Not that he’s rude. But you certainly are the object of his special attention. So maybe if you weren’t so closed off to him and you gave him an opening, he would. And if he does, and you say no, I’m gonna...”
Her face screwed up like the boys’ did when they were angry with each other. “You’re going to do what? Punch me in the nose?”
Erin stared at her. “If that’s what it takes to knock some sense into you.”
Chapter Eight
Shane hadn’t been this nervous about going to church in a long time. After having such a great time with Leah yesterday, what would today hold?
He liked her. Really like
d her. But as soon as she heard about him buying the cows, she was bound to be furious. It wasn’t that he was trying to make her angry. Nor was he trying to start trouble. But it was for the best.
Could he convince her of that? He hoped, as they spent more time together, she learned to trust him and understand that he was only looking out for her and her family. He thought yesterday had been a good example of that. But it was often hard to tell what Leah was thinking, and he never could figure out what set her off.
As soon as the boys saw him, they broke free from Leah and ran to him.
“Mister Shane!” Dylan wrapped his arms around him. Then Ryan followed. If Leah understood how much all of this meant to him, maybe she would understand that he would never in a million years do anything to hurt her or the boys. Maybe some extra prayers were exactly what he needed. And maybe God would help him find a way to make everything work.
“My mom made the cookies today, so you need to be extra good in church, and afterward you can have some.” Dylan’s enthusiasm made him smile.
All the hard work Leah had been doing to improve her son’s behavior and ease the pain from the past seemed to be paying off. It made him feel good being part of it.
Leah approached, her smile guarded. Shane always had a sinking feeling in his stomach when he got that smile. Even though she’d never done so, he longed for the day when she would run up to him the way her boys did, throwing her arms around him with abandon and telling him how happy she was to see him.
“Good morning, Shane,” she said. Something flickered in her eyes, but he couldn’t tell what it meant. He supposed he had to find some solace in the fact that she no longer looked at him like she’d rather be anywhere but in his company. Maybe he was kidding himself, thinking he and Leah could ever be anything more than friends. Maybe there was a defect in him, wanting women who were clearly emotionally unavailable.
They went into the church, and Leah checked the boys into Sunday school, as she had in the past. But this time Shane waited for her to finish, then turned to her.
“Want to sit together today?”
They always sat separately, but maybe this time they could sit together and get to know each other better, and maybe...
He shook his head. He was as bad as a teenager in youth group. She was here to learn about God, not have him scamming on her. Not that it was a scam. He genuinely cared for her and wanted to know more about her. But as he thought about all her troubles, he knew that the relationship she needed more than anything was one with the Lord.
Leah surprised him by smiling at him. “I’d like that. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said, about learning to love one another in church. My sisters have been on me about how I close myself off. Erin and Nicole seem to really love it here, and Erin...”
Leah looked away in the other direction, where her sisters were in conversation with Janie Roberts and a few of the other women. Leah turned back to him. “Erin gave me a stern talking to yesterday, and I don’t know that I fully deserved it, but I do think that I should be doing more to give others a chance. So much of Dylan’s lashing out is because he expects people to hurt him. We try to teach him otherwise, but...”
A frown marred her forehead. He recognized that look from the times they’d been working and she’d been deep in thought.
Usually, it was like pulling teeth to get her to open up to him like this, but today, her admission came freely. Maybe they’d turned a corner yesterday and were on their way to a better relationship.
Leah looked up at him, some of the wariness gone from her eyes. “She didn’t say so, but I’ve realized that I’m the same way. Because of how badly I’ve been hurt in the past, I worry that everyone is going to hurt me, even though it’s probably not true. I guess, like Dylan, I’m still learning the boundaries of how to balance staying safe and letting others in. Thank you for trying so hard to help me. I know I don’t make it easy.”
Those words were almost better than the hug he’d hoped to receive from her someday. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it had been for her to say that to him, and, in a way, her words shamed him. He was carrying his own baggage, but he hadn’t yet trusted her with it. The strains of the opening hymn sounded, and Shane led her into the sanctuary. Hopefully, after church he would have a chance to talk to her about the things in his heart. Just the two of them.
Even though he’d heard sermons on First Corinthians hundreds of times, and he could recite the verses about love being patient and kind from memory, as he stole a glance at Leah, they took on new meaning. He’d thought he’d done all of those things with Gina, and maybe he had, but Gina had never done the same for him. Did Leah know that this was what love was? Was she willing to share that kind of love with him?
Yes, his feelings for her were about the fact that he found her attractive and he liked her personality. But he also knew that there was so much more to her. Would she give him the chance to let him see it?
A woman approached Leah and whispered something in her ear. Leah’s face turned white. Funny how Shane didn’t even need to hear what had been said to know what it was about. What had Dylan done this time?
When Leah got up, Shane followed. She didn’t say anything until they were out in the main hallway, but then she turned to him. “You don’t have to come,” she said. “I can handle it.”
So they were back to this. But just because Leah pushed him away didn’t mean he had to let her. “I know, but I still want to be here for you, if that’s okay.”
Leah nodded slowly. “Thank you. It’s not necessary, but I appreciate the gesture.”
He followed her to the Sunday-school classroom, then out the door to the playground. Dylan was standing in the corner, facing out, rocks in his hands. Tears were running down his face, and he once again saw the wounded boy he’d first met.
Leah walked over to him, slowly, calmly. “What’s going on?”
Dylan made a motion like he was going to throw the rock, but he didn’t. “That boy was teasing me for not having a dad,” he said, the grief obvious in his voice.
“His words must have really hurt you,” Leah said gently.
“It’s not fair. How come everyone else gets to have a dad? A good dad?”
The sadness in his voice made Shane feel weak at the knees. He took a step toward the little boy. “I don’t have a dad, either,” he said.
Leah looked at him. “Really? You’ve never talked about your family, but I assumed...”
Shane took another step forward. One day, there would be time for him to explain his past to Leah. But right now, a little boy needed him. “My dad ran off when I was about your age. I’m told he’s still alive somewhere, but I’ve never heard from him. My mom married another guy. And he was mean. My older brothers tried to protect me, but they would just get hurt, too, so they moved away. As soon as I was old enough to leave home, I did.”
He hadn’t thought about this part of his past in a long time. It had been so long ago that he’d been able to move on, accepting that he had no family to speak of. But maybe speaking of it would help a certain little boy.
Dylan sniffled. “Did people make fun of you, too?”
Shane nodded. “Every day. Sometimes the kids at school would beat me up. And that’s why I decided to become a cowboy, so I could protect others like me.”
Sniffling again, Dylan looked up at him. “That’s why you’re teaching me how to be a cowboy, isn’t it?”
Shane nodded. Until now, it hadn’t occurred to him how much he had in common with this little boy. Dylan had that same hunger for a male influence in his life that he had had. In Shane’s case, he’d been fortunate enough to meet Helen and Norm, who’d given him a job and shown him a new way of life.
He hadn’t been a little boy when he met them, but he’d also needed the same love and tenderness.
“I know what that boy said hur
t you,” Shane said. “I’d be hurt, too. But cowboys don’t deal with their hurt by picking up a rock and trying to hurt people back. It’s tempting, because you want that person to hurt the same way you did. But then they only want to hurt someone again. If we keep hurting each other, then all anybody does is hurt.”
He held his hand out to Dylan. “So, how about we go talk to that boy, and we figure out a way to be friends?”
Dylan threw down the rocks and ran to him, wrapping his arms around him. “Why can’t you be my dad?”
“Because being someone’s dad takes a lot of work between the grown-ups. I have to fall in love with your mom, and she has to fall in love with me. And then, we have to get married. That doesn’t happen overnight. But I can sure be your friend.”
Dylan hugged him tight, then looked up at him. “My mom likes pancakes a lot. If you bring her pancakes every day, maybe she’ll fall in love with you, and then you can be my dad.”
Was it wrong to wish the same? Shane gave him another squeeze. “It takes a lot more than pancakes to make someone fall in love,” he said. “But your mom is a good woman, and I’m sure that someday someone good will fall in love with her.”
“What about you?”
He could feel Leah’s eyes on him. The trouble was, he still didn’t know the right answer to that question. Not in a way that wouldn’t get anyone’s hopes up or make anyone feel bad.
“Tell you what. You leave the falling in love to the grown-ups. Focus on being a good cowboy. And maybe one day, we can talk about all that other stuff.”
Dylan turned to his mom. “I’m sorry for getting in trouble.”
Then he turned back to Shane. “I’m sorry for not being a good cowboy.”
Shane gave him a smile. “We all make mistakes. As long as we learn from them, that’s the important thing. What did you learn from making a mistake?”
Dylan let out a long sigh. “That even if someone says mean things to me, I shouldn’t be mean back.”
Her Cowboy Inheritance Page 12
