by Susan Ward
“You sprinted ten flights instead of taking an elevator?” The groggy voice is Maxwell’s, the new bodyguard added to my team this year.
“Keeps me alert. Keeps me fit. You should try it.”
I wince. That’s harsh. Maxwell is a nice guy. Always polite around me. Cody shouldn’t be so hard on him.
“Escort this bastard downstairs and throw him out onto the street,” Cody orders. “And you. I don’t care what fucking tabloid asswipe paper you work for. You try to get on this floor again to take one of your scummy pictures and I’ll personally see it’s the last picture you ever take.”
Wow. Cody’s gotten quite extraordinary with his menace. I’m sure the reporter is shaking in his shoes. Not that it would help. Privacy is a thing of the past. Paparazzi are an unpleasant constant now. The Black Star team can threaten all they want. It’s pointless. The story is out there. Nothing would kill it now. I don’t even bother to trouble about it any longer. My entire life has been laid bare in a sordid blend of truth and lies and nothing’s changing that. But I love my best friend for trying.
I hear footsteps clicking in the hall. Maxwell and the reporter, no doubt. Then Cody again.
“We’ve had another security breach,” he bites off. He must be on the phone to Black Star. Another pointless pursuit. I’ve made myself a spectacle all on my own. What would another picture of me matter now? “Evening Star. Have someone lean on that tabloid and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Cody bursts into the room, takes a few deep breaths to calm himself, then shakes his head. “Can you believe it, Khloe? Another one.”
My heart swells with my affection for him. My loyal friend and protector…still. I’m sure my smile says it all. Words aren’t ever necessary between me and Cody.
He lumbers across the room and settles in the chair next to me. “I’m glad I’ve got time to have tea with you—”
Inside my head I roll my eyes. Afternoon tea. A Damon tradition Cody kept going after our life in Wyoming ended.
“—before Damon arrives. Wasn’t planning on having to deal with that mess out there.”
Damon. My heart begins to race, and every other thought is lost to me. Even though he’s shown up six straight Saturdays at the allotted time for our dinner dates, each passing week has been agony as I wonder if he’s given up and gone back to the UK because I do nothing to encourage him.
Cody pours the tea and spreads a napkin across his lap. “Looks like Hilda put out quite a spread for us. English biscuits today instead of those dreadful sandwiches.” I watch him take a bite of one. He grins. “They’re delicious. Lots of chocolate. Almost tastes like an Oreo. You’ve gotta be hungry. You never eat. Come on, Khloe. Snap out of this funk and eat one for me.”
Eat one? How can someone eat when they’re heartbroken and in agony knowing it’s impossible to be with the man they love even if he keeps coming and trying to win you back?
“Come on, girl. Pull yourself together,” Cody pleads gently. “I miss you so much. It hurts seeing where you are now. I can’t imagine what it’s like for Damon.”
His words rip at me like spears. But I can’t do anything to change any of it. Why does he have to cry? Plead? I already hurt enough as it is.
He sniffs back a tear and sets his plate on the table. “Just think about it, Khloe. Remember Wyoming. How you were with him at the ranch. That’ll get you clear in the head and able to do what I know you can do. End this drama for all of us.”
Drama? My life is an absurd dark comedy. It’s hell to hunger for something, have it dangled in front of you, and not be able to have it. Maybe it was a bad idea seeing Damon each week. Maybe it’s time to stop it completely?
He deserves to be happy.
He deserves more than I can give him now.
He deserves to be free of me, though I know my heart will never be free of him.
Damon
The Present
DAMON, WHO SAYS WE can’t have more than one miracle?
Khloe’s voice in my head causes me to straighten in my seat and shake my head. Bloody hell. How long have I been sitting here staring blindly out the window at California passing beneath the plane?
My security detail and staff fill every seat. Winthrop, sitting in a chair facing me across the table, glances up from his paperwork at me. He has that look again. Critical with poorly veiled annoyance that I remain in defiance and continue to go see Khloe each week.
I close my eyes, shutting out the lifeless, pitying stares all about me. The entire lot of them think I’m a fool…or maybe deranged. Well, I’d hardly be the first deranged king in English history, though I’m neither a fool nor deranged.
“Are you all right, Your Majesty?” Winthrop asks dispassionately.
“Of course,” I reply brittlely. “How long until we land?”
He checks his watch. “One hour. It’ll take another hour once at the airport for security to secure the route.”
Good. I should be promptly on time.
“There are some things I must go over with you, if you’ll allow, sir.”
“Later, Winthrop. After.”
He settles back in his seat with a huff and glares at me. “You cannot ignore affairs of state. Not even on Saturday.”
I severely arch a brow.
“Sir,” he finishes crossly.
“After.” Now just go away. Leave me alone.
I shift my gaze back out the window. Two hours. My heart leaps into my mouth. It’s agony being away from her even for a minute. Even how we are now.
What will my cheeky girl be like today? As she’s been or will there be a change? A sign so I won’t lose all hope? Or will it be another dinner with only me rambling, scrambling to find a way to get through to her, and her beautiful eyes not even resting on me?
The pain in my gut twists into sharpened coils. I fight to steer my thoughts to happier things. Khloe lying on our bed, laughing at me, her luscious curls spanned out across the pillows. Her silken arms opening for me. Her lips.
Fuck, it makes me hard just thinking about it.
This needs to end. There is no relief for either my body or my heart. She’s gone, Damon. Furious with that thought, I bring my emotions to heel.
Damon
The Present
I TAKE A MOMENT to adjust my appearance before joining Khloe for dinner. Between the flight and car ride here I’m sure I’ve become quite an untidy mess. It won’t do to let her see how ragged I am or how poorly I’ve weathered the past weeks. I’m sure it would only distress her. Buried inside her stoic countenance is the most loving, tender woman I’ve ever known. And I am someone she loves. I refuse to believe that’s changed.
Inhaling deeply, I come around the wall. I pause for a moment to collect myself now that we can see each other. God, she’s so beautiful. I can only look at her for a second or I’ll break down. I float my glance around the room. Lovely candlelit table. The finest china and silver. Gourmet food and an exquisite wine. Khloe’s staff is very competent.
“Good evening, KK,” I say charmingly and cross the room. As I lower onto the chair, I rummage in my pocket for the box, set it on the table between us, and wait expectantly. But it doesn’t come. The light in her eyes or the slow unfurling of her smile. “Don’t you want to see what your present is, love? Then tell me what you see.”
Emotion clogs in my throat.
“Please, Khloe. You can’t have forgotten that.” My voice is raw and discomposed. Damn, I don’t care, not if every person on the planet were to hear I’m on the edge and only my love for her keeps me from tumbling over it. “It’s a box of infinite possibilities. Remember? But it’s empty unless you look in it and tell me what you see. I’m empty without you.”
I hold my face in my palm. Six times I’ve managed not to lose my shit. Why today? My staff is right. I’m making a bloody fool of myself with these dinner dates.
After swiping at my cheeks to ma
ke sure there’s no evidence of tears, I straighten up, and with all the command I have, manage a smile. “Maybe next week, love. Dinner looks scrumptious, and if all you want is to quietly eat without talking, it’s what we’ll do.”
Damon
The Present
I STAND ON THE street in the center of a tight circle of security and scrub the back of my neck as I wait for someone to open my car door. I block my memories of the past two hours to keep my emotions from coming undone.
Fuck, why is it taking so long? What’s the holdup in opening a door for me? Standing in this heat, fully visible to people is torturous for me today. The way everything is jackhammering inside me makes me eager to get back into my security bubble, far removed from the real world.
“Winthrop, find out what’s causing this delay.”
His beady eyes fix on me. “It’s that car, sir. Some kind of security breach. I don’t know how it got through the road barriers. I suspect they’re trying to clear the vehicle before allowing you into your car.”
Car? I swing around and stand paralyzed. A black SUV is parked close to my three-car security caravan. One of my men is arguing with someone, but the five bodyguards causing the ruckus aren’t RaSP.
My stomach drops. No, those are Black Star men, which means…
“Damon, please. Tell them to let me through.” The soft, sweet voice ravishes my already ravished heart. No, no, no. This can’t happen. Not today. I’m not prepared for this. I won’t ever be able to manage this.
Allister looks at me and unconsciously, as if my own will has been taken from me, I nod. Then the men part and I see her. The pain is only a notch below the level of seeing Khloe.
Chrissie hurries toward me. “Thank you,” she says with a burst of air. “I’ve been waiting two hours for you.”
“I didn’t know you were here,” I say by way of apology.
How we’re holding our bodies feels awkward and strange. There was a time I’d have gotten a breezy hug and her cheery smile.
“I know. I wouldn’t let your men give you a heads-up, sure you’d leave by another exit to avoid me.”
I shove my hands deep in my pockets and ball my fists. “I wouldn’t do that, not ever.”
She makes one of her quirky smiles. “I would understand if you did, but I’m glad you wouldn’t have.” She glances over her shoulder. “Do you think we can sit in your car, drive and talk for a while? My car can follow behind.”
My car? Never. Doesn’t she understand there’s a target always on my back? That I endanger anyone I let near me. I don’t need one more thing to feel guilty over. How could she forget that because of me… Anguish lances through my body before I finish the thought.
“I’m sorry. That’s not possible.” I lower my gaze; I can’t meet Chrissie’s anymore. “It’s not even wise for you to be with me now. Have your security detail get you away from here. Quickly, Chrissie. Please.”
She stares up at me, blue eyes wide as though she doesn’t understand the level of my anxiety. “I’ll only take up a few minutes of your time, Damon,” she implores impatiently.
Damn. “Not right now. I’ve got a packed schedule. I’m sorry.”
“I know you’re busy,” she murmurs on softly loving tones. “That you’re trying to manage a lot. But not everything important is happening in the world. Some of it is happening in our family. There’s no security risk at our house. Please come before you leave California.”
My car door is opened. “I can’t, Chrissie. Not ever.”
I stride away from her and sink down onto the seat. Before the door is shut between us, I hear her say, “Tonight, Damon. Please. It’s important. The only thing that gets people through hard times is family. We need to act like a family again instead of enemies. Alan and I aren’t your enemies. We love you both. And it’s been too long since you’ve seen Wells.”
Wells…I collapse back against my seat, struggle for air, and I’m in tears before the car pulls from the curb.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Damon
The Past
“PLEASE, KK, WAKE UP.”
My fingers tightened around hers until my own hurt and I released a shuddering breath and relaxed my grip. I wanted nothing more than to climb onto the bed and hold her until I knew for sure she’d be all right. But there were tubes and pumps and machines everywhere.
I scrubbed the back of my neck and glanced at the wall clock. Two hours I’d been sitting with her in the recovery room. Shouldn’t she be awake by now?
Rubber-soled shoes squeaked against the tile floor, and I turned my head. “Why isn’t she waking up from the anesthesia?”
“She was under a long time.” Gideon patted my shoulder reassuringly. “Every patient’s different, Damon.”
“But everything went well in the operating room? There’s no problem with the artificial heart, right? You’re not keeping anything from me?”
His exhausted face broke into a weary smile. “You were there. You heard the cheers of the team. Did that sound like failure to you? We wouldn’t have closed her up if there’d been a problem. She’s going to be fine. You’ve just got to be patient.”
I nodded as bile rose in my throat. Nine hours I’d sat with the members of the research team not part of the surgical unit to watch the surgery through the observation room glass. It’d been harrowing, but I had to be there, watching out over Khloe. Alan had stayed with Chrissie, but I’d wished he’d been there with me.
“It was extraordinary to see your skill, Gideon. I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to thank all of you for the incredible work you’ve done.”
“Incredible work we’ve all done. Alan, Chrissie, Khloe, and you are important members of the project. Without the four of you, we couldn’t have made two breakthrough medical advancements. We’ve proven Phanes One to be a superior artificial heart. It took almost as well as a real heart. Didn’t even have to tap it to get it to pump. Now its AI is learning the rhythm of her body. It will be able to respond very soon to her needs much the way a living organ can. We can expect Khloe to fully recover in about a month. And it will be a whole new world for her.”
“A whole new world for all of us.” It was still so much to take in, the reality of what this surgery meant to us and her entire family.
“And once we find a match for Phanes Two, we achieve the first cloned organ transplant thanks to Khloe’s generosity.”
“I imagine it won’t be much of a wait to find a match.”
“No.” He shook his head sadly. “The waiting list is much longer than the number of available organs. This science will save many lives. Many more than the one Khloe’s saving by donating Phanes Two to another patient.”
I brought Khloe’s fingers to my lips and kissed them. “I married a pretty amazing woman, didn’t I?”
Gideon grinned. “Yeah, you did. But I knew that before Wyoming.”
“So did I,” I replied proudly.
“Close your eyes for a bit, Damon. You look exhausted.”
I was drained physically and emotionally. “No. I can’t rest. Not until I know for sure she’s okay.”
Gideon laughed lightly. “It could be another hour. She’s not going anywhere. And somehow I don’t think if she wakes and makes a sound, you’ll sleep through it. Don’t push yourself so hard that I end up with two patients to take care of. Don’t make me sic Nurse Howard on you.”
AN HOUR LATER, KHLOE moved in the bed and my body jumped. As I leaned over, holding her hand, and her lids slowly lifted, those gorgeous blue eyes appeared and, drowsy and slow, flitted around the room before they settled on me. The lump in my throat nearly prevented me from speaking. “There’s my love. You’re finally back.”
“Oh, thank God,” Chrissie gushed, springing from her chair and going to the bed. “Baby girl. Baby girl.”
All Chrissie could manage was to babble baby girl over and over again as she slathered kisses across Khloe
’s face. Alan came to stand behind her.
“The surgery…it’s done?” Khloe whispered, confused, and the Manzones laughed through their tears.
“Done,” Alan announced, his voice lower and raspier than usual. “It went well. No evidence of cancer in the cell samples they took during the surgery. You’re cancer free and have a heart better than the one you were born with. It’s going to be OK.”
Her gaze searched my face as if for confirmation she’d heard her dad correctly. My mouth puckered as I battled not to fall apart right there with my relief and joy and tears. “Gideon said it was a brilliant success. Now rest, love. None of us are going anywhere.”
“I’m really cancer free?” Even slightly groggy, she sounded in amazed disbelief.
“Yes, love.” I was sure my smile was ear to ear.
She glanced to her mum.
Chrissie nodded eagerly.
A whisper of a smile rose on her lips, and a nurse entered the room. In a moment we were all hugging each other, crying and talking softly as the nurse checked Khloe over. The nurse hit a wall button and the room quickly filled with the medical team.
Dr. Hern leaned over the bed. “Hello, Khloe. How’s my favorite patient?”
“Pretty wonderful, Dr. Hern, because we’re going to stop meeting this way.”
NURSE HOWARD SHOOED ME from the room and gently closed the door behind us.
“You can’t stay all night in the chair, sir,” she stated, lifting her chin. “She needs rest. Go. Get some sleep yourself. You can come back in the morning after eight. The doctors will be done with their a.m. check by then.”
She went back in the room and shut the door in my face, then locked it. I stared at it, annoyed. That was my wife. She had no business ordering me out of the room.
I checked my watch.
It was after midnight.
I wondered if Nurse Howard was waiting on the other side to hear my footsteps. My feet carried me off, even though I didn’t want to leave. There was enough adrenaline rushing through my veins to keep me awake for a week. I could think of nothing more blissful than sitting beside Khloe and watching her sleep.
