by Debra Kayn
She stepped back, shaking her head. His words were like a punch in the gut. “How did you find out?”
“I...” He glanced away before turning back to her. “Your father faxed a copy of your business permit application to me a week ago. At first, I couldn’t figure out why. I thought maybe he sent it through me to give to you, but then I realized that this was the big thing you didn’t want to talk about. I believe your dad wanted me to help you, if you needed it of course, and I do want to help. I was going to surprise you when you got closer to the deadline in case you couldn’t come up with enough money yourself. I had no idea you never bought the smoke alarms and you were going to be shut down yesterday, or I would have said something sooner.”
A chill swept down her spine despite the warm summer day. She crossed her arms. “My father contacted you?”
“Yes.”
She raised her chin. “What did you two do, send emails planning on how you were going to pull me out of the mess I’ve made? That you’d save me? Yeah, well, it just so happens that I don’t need you to clean up the mess I made. I’ll handle things my own way. Without you or my father bailing me out.”
“Amber...” He stepped closer to the screen. “Let me in. I’ll help you finalize your obligations and you can continue running your daycare, okay?”
“No.” She shook her head.
He raised his brows. “No, you won’t let me help you? Or, no, I can’t come in?”
“Both.” She stared him down. “I’m sorry I disappointed you, Gregg. I think it’s better if you and I don’t see each other.”
“Dammit, Amber.” He laid his forehead on the door. “This is stupid. It’d take me a couple days to repair everything and bring the house up to code. I want to do this for you. I love you.”
She stepped back. Her grief weighing her down. “I’m sorry.”
Amber closed the door with a soft click, turned, and walked to the back of the house where she couldn’t hear if someone knocked. She let the tears run down her cheeks unchecked.
Chapter Thirteen
The early birds searched for hidden treasures among the fake flowers and doilies at the yard sale. Amber set the last stack of saucers in the box, handed it over to Mrs. Kramer, and smiled. “Thank you and enjoy the dishes.”
“I will.” Mrs. Kramer turned to leave, then paused and stepped closer to Amber. “Grace was a lovely person. I miss her.”
Taken aback, Amber reached out and stroked the woman’s arm. “That means a lot to me. I thought I would learn more about her after moving here, but no one really wants to talk about her. It seems most people think speaking her name is wrong.” On impulse, she hugged the woman’s shoulders awkwardly around the box in Mrs. Kramer’s arms. “Thank you.”
“I know, dear. Grace was a very private person, but she did share some things with me.” She nodded. “I live over on Sycamore Drive—the yellow house—you can’t miss it. Come over for tea one day. I have some pictures that you might like.”
“I’d love to come over. Thank you. This means so much to me.” Amber squeezed Mrs. Kramer’s arm.
“Amber!” Kristy held up a seventies-style dress. “Will you sell this for fifty cents?” She grinned. “Originally tagged at seventy-five cents.”
Amber nodded. “Sure. Why not.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing at the older woman who handed over the money to Kristy.
She sunk down in the lawn chair behind the cash table for a much-needed rest. She rubbed her thighs. Her legs sure were feeling all the cleaning she’d done this week. Propping her feet on a box of books, she heaved a sigh. Throwing herself into getting rid of all the old things of Aunt Grace’s kept her mind off her problems.
The pain over losing Gregg and missing the animals was more painful than anything she’d ever experienced. She’d disappointed everyone in her life, but Gregg was the last person she wanted to hurt, and the best thing she could do is stay out of his life. He was too important of a person in Port View to be saddled with someone who wasn’t responsible enough to babysit animals fulltime.
Kristy wound her way over and sat in the empty chair. “The sale is going well. It always surprises me how the older stuff gets snatched up quick and the newer things get passed over.” She put her hand in front of her mouth. “Did you see that dress? God, I hope I don’t run into her wearing it at the store. I’ll pee my pants.”
“I know.” Amber laughed. “Although that vintage black skirt over there almost tempted me to keep it.”
“Oh no way. As your best friend, I’d never—”
Loud familiar barking had Amber jumping from her seat. Her first real smile of the week burst out and she hurried around the other shoppers.
“Buster!” She kneeled down on the sidewalk and opened her arms.
Long slobbery swipes of Buster’s tongue coated her chin in dog spittle. She rubbed all over his sides, the way he liked. “I’ve missed you so much. Have you missed me? Hm? Oh, you are so full of love, aren’t you? Have you been a good boy?”
“He misses you.” Pete Schuster reached down and petted Buster’s back. “I got the day off and thought I’d bring him by to see you. He’s back to tearing up the house when he’s left all alone all day.”
Amber tilted her head and hugged Buster’s neck. “Buster...you know better than that.” She kissed the top of his snout. “I’ve missed you too.” She looked up at Pete. “Thank you. This means a lot to me. I didn’t realize how attached I’d become to all the regulars. Especially to this big guy here.”
“Is it okay if we stop by and see you once in a while? I think Buster would like that.” Pete reached into his pocket, removed a doggy treat, and flipped it to the dog.
“I...I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be living here.” She stood up, scratched the top of her head, and grimaced. “Without the business and...everything, I’m throwing around the idea of putting Aunt Grace’s house up for sale and moving on.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Damn, I wish things could have worked out...” He shuffled his foot on the sidewalk. “I really enjoyed knowing that Buster was with you during the day, and the training you put him through was really working. Is there no chance of getting the city to change its mind?”
“I don’t have the money to fix this place up to meet code. I was hoping to save enough money and hire a contractor before the three-month extension was over, but it didn’t work out the way I’d planned.” She reached out and squeezed his arms. “I’m sorry.”
Amber kept the rest of her problems to herself, and instead bent down and gave Buster one more scratch. “Be good, my friend. Leave the trash alone and mind the guy you own. I love you."
The world seemed impossibly heavy lying on her shoulders, and walking away from Buster was a dash of cold reality. She plunked down in her chair, and turned to Kristy. “Life sucks.”
“Love sucks.” Kristy gazed away from her.
“Yeah. You don’t have to tell me.” She rubbed her hands over her face.
“No, I mean it really sucks.” Kristy tapped her leg, grabbing Amber's attention.
Lifting her head, she gazed over in the direction Kristy pointed. She groaned. What was he doing here again?
Gregg strode into her yard. Determination etched on his face, he made a straight line for Amber. She sat up straighter. She didn’t want the flowers, the phone calls, and the letter he’d taped to her door last week. She laid her hand on her stomach. She was ready to go back to her parents with her head hung in defeat.
Nothing would change the fact that he was the fire chief. He deserved someone who’d match his involvement in the community, his high-pressured job, not someone who babysat animals. She tightened her mouth, swallowed, and forced the emotional reaction to Gregg below the surface.
Her gaze swept from his face down to his feet. She thought she knew everything about him. Yet she obviously didn’t know what went on in his head.
When the bottom fell out of her world, again, he had shown a side of him
self that was too much like the part of her parents she was trying to escape. The controlling, righteous, I’ll-fix-it-all-for-you-because-you-can’t attitude that she hated and heard her whole life.
She glanced up onto his face and swore she saw pity etched in the skin around his eyes.
Pity. Ugh!
He’d watched her get her hopes up and fail in front of everyone. She lowered her gaze, embarrassed.
He wore the blue shirt she’d stripped off him the night he’d taken her out to dinner at the quay. She wanted to run for the house and hide from the way he made it so difficult to move on without him. She gripped the chair arms. An odd catch in her chest forced her to inhale a big breath in case she died on the spot. I must be strong. I must be—
“Amber.” He stopped right in front of her. “Can I talk with you, please?”
“There’s nothing more to say, Gregg.” She looked him in the eye and refused to back down. “My decision is final. I don’t fault you for wanting to help; that’s part of who you are. But for me, I can’t ask you to do that. I don’t have the funds to improve Aunt Grace’s house, and the animals are gone.” She glanced away. “I’m selling the house.”
He drew in a deep breath and seemed to consider his next move. She tapped her toe. Her body jumped with nerves. The need to throw herself into his arms and beg for answers drummed inside of her.
He folded his arms. “The decision I made had nothing to do with how I feel about you, Am—”
“Listen.” She stood up and stepped farther away. “It’s over. I’ve got a sale to run and I still need to contact a realtor...” She turned away unable to handle the way his eyes softened every time she looked at him. “I don’t have time for this. You know me. I live paycheck to paycheck.”
“Amber, don’t—”
Amber walked over and joined a couple of women browsing through a box of old eight-track tapes. Everything blurred behind the onslaught of tears, and she stumbled away. Oh Gregg, why couldn’t we have met after I became someone important?
“Come dear, let’s take a break.” Mrs. Parker stepped up beside her. “I’ll pour you a nice glass of my special lemonade and vodka. That’ll make you see things in the right perspective.” Mrs. Parker wrapped her arm around Amber’s waist and led her to her house next door. “Keep your chin up, girl. Don’t let him see you cry.”
Chapter Fourteen
Ten fire cadets dressed in full turnout slowed down from their run and came to a stop waiting for their next task. Gregg picked up an oxygen tank and passed it down the line to the battalion chief, Jack.
“Cadet Anderson, you are first up. You’ve got thirty seconds.” Greg nodded at Jack to start the stopwatch. “Go.”
John Anderson wrestled to swing the tank onto his back with his turnout coat on, find the dangling mask, place it over his face, and return his helmet on his head. John raised his hand signaling he was ready.
“Time!” Jack held the watch up for Gregg to take note.
Gregg leaned over, and shouted, “Forty-five seconds, Cadet Anderson. In that amount of time it took you to get ready the person inside the burning building has expired. You need to shave fifteen seconds off the drill before you save a life.”
He pointed for the next fire cadet to step up and turned to Jack. He handed the battalion chief the clipboard. “Time the others and then report back to the bay. We have hoses to reroll and replace on Engine 10. You also need to oversee the inventory done on the rescue truck. New orders are due by Friday.”
Gregg turned and marched back into the station. He bypassed the front office and entered his office instead. He grabbed his personal cell phone off the desk and dialed Amber’s number.
His gut twisted. Why in the hell wouldn’t Amber even talk to him?
Burrring.
Burrring.
Gregg shook his head and kicked the leg of the desk. Amber’s voice clicked on telling him to leave a message. “Yeah, it’s me.” He paused, holding his breath, hoping that she’d pick up the phone. “Amber?”
His chin dropped to his chest. “OK, I guess you still don’t want to talk.” He pressed his thumb and middle finger into his eyes. He lowered the phone, pressed the end call button, and tossed it back on the desk. Damn stubborn woman.
Truth was, he thought about her all the time. He missed the way she made him laugh, made him think, and made him want to please her. He had to figure out some way to make her listen to him.
***
Mrs. Kramer turned the page, pointed, and laughed. “This is the time Grace organized the dunking barrel for the Port View Little League team.” She raised her brows. “Our boys took second place at the state tournament that year, and you’ve never seen a more excited person than your aunt.” She chuckled. “She swore the boy’s All-Star team deserved something big for all their hard work and took on the job of raising enough money to buy them all new uniforms.” Mrs. Kramer leaned over and whispered, “She collected enough money to buy the girls softball team new uniforms too.”
Amber leaned back and shook her head. “I wish I could have known her. She sounds so...so...”
“Like you?” Mrs. Kramer cackled.
She stood and carried her empty cup over to the sink. “Yeah. My family—as much as I may love them—are all high society, have-to-be-the-best-and-make-a-mark-on-the-world kind of people. Aunt Grace seems more like me than they do. I’m not cut out for the stress and pressure of a demanding job.”
“You both have a kind soul. Grace threw herself into her community. She gave a hand up to the underdogs, those unable to help themselves. You have a way with animals...and people, I believe. Look at how you won over all your neighbors.” Mrs. Kramer shut the photo album and leaned against the table. “Come back here and sit down. Grace gave me something she wanted you to have...if you ever showed up in Port View and became a part of the community. Seeing that you have, I reckon this belongs to you.”
“What is it?” Amber sat back down. Mrs. Kramer handed her an envelope.
“Your aunt told me she had a good feeling about you.” Mrs. Kramer thumped the letter with her knuckles.
“But...how? I don’t remember even meeting her.” She sniffed.
“Your Aunt Grace didn’t talk much about her family. I think that’s the main reason you received the cold shoulder upon setting foot in Port View. We all loved Grace Bailey and didn’t want to see one of those relatives who judged her poorly come back and sully her good name. Maybe the letter will explain.” She shrugged. “Go ahead—open it. I’ll leave you alone to visit with your aunt by yourself.”
Amber pulled the letter from the envelope.
Dear Amber,
I imagine by now you’ve heard all the good and bad stories that come along with being the niece of Grace Bailey. Believe them all. To some, I was a small town business owner, active community member, and a supporter of those who needed a little help. To my family, I was a disgrace, an oddball, and an embarrassment.
I have two regrets in life.
Frank Corland and you.
I was foolish and let my independence and stubbornness separate me from the man I loved. I didn’t think I measured up to his family’s expectations, and I walked away with a broken heart. The damage from believing I was a misfit and unworthy of happiness, because I never met my own families goals for me, caused me to hurt the very person I loved more than anything. Before I came to my senses and told every one of my relatives to go to hell, my Frank died in the Vietnam War without knowing how much I loved him. I never loved another person again the way I did Frank.
My other regret is never having made an effort to get to know my favorite niece. How can I say that when I didn’t know you growing up? I hear things. I’ll leave it at that. You were different from the other Baileys. You, my dear, have the heart in the family.
It is my greatest wish that you take my house, throw yourself into the community, and be happy. Tell everyone who tries to stop you to go to hell, and do what you most desire. If
that is to become the next governor of Washington or hire on as a bus driver, it doesn’t matter. Don’t have regrets, Amber Bailey. Live life for you.
Love,
Aunt Grace
Amber refolded the letter, slipped it back into the envelope, and closed her eyes.
“Would you like another tea, dear?” Mrs. Kramer called from the kitchen.
Amber cleared her throat and scooted back from the table. “No... Actually, Mrs. Kramer, I have something I have to do.” Walking into the kitchen, she found the older woman standing in front of the stove. “I can’t thank you enough. You’ve given me the best gift I could ever imagine.” She hugged her from behind. “Thank you for being my aunt’s friend.”
“Nonsense. Everyone was Grace’s friend. The whole town loved her.” Mrs. Kramer patted her arm. “Just like if you give us a chance, we’ll all love you too.” She waved her fingers and turned back to the stove. “Feel free to come back anytime. I get lonely and love the company.”
“I will. I promise.” She smiled and headed back through the house. “Mrs. Kramer?” She walked back into the kitchen. “Was Frank Corland any relation to the Mr. Corland who is a retired school teacher?”
“Mm...I haven’t heard that name in a long time.” Mrs. Kramer lifted her cup and took a sip. “Yes, they were brothers. I believe Frank was the eldest.”
“Thank you.” She hugged the woman again and hurried out of the house.
Pushed to do what her heart desired, she jogged along the sidewalk toward home. Mentally counting three days on, four days off, she tried to think if this was Gregg’s day off or not. She wanted to find him.
She wasn’t going to make the same mistake her aunt had made. A new lightness had her feet pounding the sidewalk. God, this was entirely her fault. She’d been so hung up on succeeding, she hadn’t realized she’d almost let the best man she’d ever loved get away. Gregg was not one of her parents. He’d supported her, but when it came down watching her walk away or helping, he did what came natural to him. He played the hero—the very thing she loved about him. She shouldn’t have pushed him away.
