by Bob Dattolo
I didn’t say anything, so she gave me a look. Then got up silently and walked out, taking her ever-present silence spell with her.
My debate about what to do about dinner continued for another 20 minutes. The pros of going are that I’ll be showing people that I’m made of more than panicked slapping. On the other hand, it’ll open me up for people wanting to challenge me because they think I got lucky.
Wait, isn’t there a rule about challenges being done back-to-back?
Laptop, what do you say? Trusty Google to the rescue!
Oooh, you beauty! The page told me what I needed. No challenges within a week after a challenge has been fought. Win or lose. You don’t get a bye, but you sort of do. You can’t be forced into one. You can issue one, but not be challenged yourself. Unless you’re willing to accept it.
Weird, but I’ll take it.
Once I have that information, I slip on some shoes and head out. No one stops me in the hallway, and I’m instead rewarded with some strange looks from people. The few that I saw. More strange looks outside on my way to the caf. Whispered comments, most too faint for me to pick up. Lucky is a repeated word that I’m sure I’ll be hearing a ton of.
Then I’m in the caf, and silence greets me as soon as they realize I’m there. Levi’s voice rises from the far corner, where he’s holed up with Wes, Shane, and Ryan. Samantha, Paige, Riley, and Parece are at the next table over. “What the fuck are you doing here?!? Isn’t it bad enough you pissed yourself and begged to not die and then killed a good guy?”
Even more stunned silence as I laughed and walked through the tables, “You’re cute, Levi. Why am I here? Because I won. Guess who’s got two thumbs and ain’t dead?!?” I pointed at myself with my thumbs, “This girl!”
“You fucking murdered Colin!”
I continued walking, “Hmm, nope. The courts ruled that it’s not murder in a challenge. I was the one hurt and made the challenge, not him. He was the one that hit me. As for pissing myself? Hmm, which is more embarrassing? Peeing? Or having someone see your brain?”
“You fucking bitch!”
“I can’t help it if he went and got himself killed. Maybe it’s you? I mean, your parents did it to get away from you? Maybe he threw the fight to do the same thing?”
He growled, skin rippling, as I stopped on the other side of his table. “Aww, goldilocks is upset, when you’re the one that started out being a dick to me. How about you suck it up and we finish the year instead? Or do you want to give me your powers, too?”
Shane stood, “Fuck you, stricken! You didn’t do shit. You gained nothing. Not from Colin. You gained something from us, all right. You won’t make it to the trial, that’s for fucking sure.”
“Water boy number two wants to come up to bat? I have a week, then I’m all yours if you want to figure out how to challenge me.”
He spit on the floor, “We all saw you. Fucking weak loser. I’m gonna enjoy watching you die.”
“I’m sure it’ll happen at some point. For now? I’m gonna get some food. Wait here, I’ll be joining you. After all, Colin and I got so close, I’m sure I can fit into your group too.”
They began arguing and bellowing and calling me various names and curses as I left them behind to get food. Everyone in front of me cleared out so that I could cut ahead, so I thanked them as I moved up. It took maybe four minutes to get food, but the guys were walking out the doors anyway as I settled my drinks, “Hey, where you going, guys? I thought we were gonna be friends!”
Shane flashed a middle finger over his shoulder before the door slammed.
And, huh, “You guys are too much.” They left their trays on the table after smearing everything everywhere. “Guess I’m not sitting there.” Was everyone watching me as I took the next seat? You bet your ass they were.
Kaylee is across the room, but it’s crazy easy to see that she doesn’t want me to join her and draw attention to her. I’m okay with that. We’ll connect again. Somehow. That let me eat in relative silence, except for the dozens and dozens of comments, discussions between others about me and the fight and what happened, and general judginess. One girl actually said, “I can’t believe she’s here. I’d never show my face again if I peed like that.”
Samantha was the first to speak to me directly, “You got some balls, I’ll give you that.”
My eating slowed, “Umm, thanks? I mean, you saw me naked, so…no balls, but thank you anyway?”
She pointed at me with her cup, “True. You’re something else. Lucked into a win, then start mouthing off to Levi. You have a week of relative safety, but you have to know others are gonna come for you. You’re weak. You’re easy prey. You have a mouth on you, and people don’t like that.”
“You saying you’re coming for me next?”
Her smile turned slightly evil, “I’m sure it’s gonna be a race. Someone weak is gonna try and get you before anyone strong does so they can get bumped up. They’ll be the most desperate. As for those of us that’re powerful? It’s first come, first served. You come at me with slaps like that, and I’ll shift and gobble down your powers right before I chow down on the rest of you.”
“I see. Beautiful, powerful, and psychotic. Got it.”
Her eyes hardened a little, “Be seeing you.”
“Unlike Colin. I mean, once I smashed his face in.”
“Luck’ll only get you so far.” She grabbed her tray and stood, bringing the other girls with her. They were gone shortly after that. At least they didn’t smear their food all over the table.
No one else came to join me. I was rather hoping someone would want to become allies. Well, more people. Why am I thinking she’s right? Maybe I should have killed him and showed that I’m way stronger than people think I am? The problem there is that once they know how strong I am, I got nothing in reserve to spring on them. I have to hope that Parece doesn’t tell her about what I did. Or can do. I have a feeling she won’t put up with my macho-baiting approach. She’ll just take me down with magic, then tear me to pieces as a dragon.
I swear, school shouldn’t be this dangerous.
I spent the rest of the evening wandering the stores, then in my room eating some snacks and looking things up online. The librarian was right, there are some places in town nearby with books. I’m wondering if I can slip out and get one? Or maybe more? There are obviously some in the library here, but I’m thinking kids will have a clue about them. I need new things. Unexpected things.
To that end, I forced myself to create 20 of each affinity balls in various sizes and styles, then set them to flying around the room, bouncing from every surface. It was hard as hell, yet I feel better for being able to work through it. I wasn’t able to do it without lighting my hair up like a spotlight, yet I’m okay with that. I was at least able to do the first bunch without doing that, and that’s what I was trying to accomplish. Well, at least that much.
My magic didn’t feel as raw and weak as I killed the spell just before midnight. I heard Parece through the bathroom, and knew she’d be coming in shortly. I beat her by maybe 30 seconds and was clicking sites when she came in. She didn’t look up this time, yet it’s easy to see that she wanted to.
She slapped up her spell as she kicked off her shoes, then grabbed her PJs and started to change. “You really know how to rile people up.”
My clicking slowed, then stopped, “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Didn’t say you did.” She tossed her underwear in her hamper, then slid on her PJs. “You’ve been here one day. Just over. You’ve riled everyone up. As far as I could tell, everyone was there for the challenge. I didn’t see a single person that wasn’t shocked at the end. I had a feeling you were gonna manage something, but even I was shocked. I heard so freaking few conversations out there that weren’t about you.”
“Let me guess? Like Samantha said? People planning on challenging me?”
She shrugged as she watched me get up and start to get changed, “Not specifically
, but pretty much? I couldn’t even bet who’ll be able to get to you.”
“They can’t challenge me for a week. Not that I plan on doing anything to make it legal.” She didn’t react until I reached the lights, “Turn off?”
“Yeah. Might as well go to sleep.”
We climbed into bed, with her settling on her side so that she could see me in the dark. It’s so clear that she catches that I’m seeing her, which stands out to her. She didn’t call me on it. A mage wouldn’t be able to see right now without a spell, and I’m pretty sure she’s assuming I don’t have one that I can use. Which would be correct.
Once we were settled, she sighed, “Watch for everything. You can’t be challenged, but people are gonna be coming for you to get you to challenge them.”
That’s kinda my fear. “I’m pretty much expecting that. Probably soon.”
“Breakfast comes soon enough. I haven’t heard anything firm, but so many people were talking about it.”
“You’re saying I shouldn’t have made it look so lucky?”
She shrugged, “Hard to say. You’d have had people coming for you anyway, at least I think. You’re everything our people hate and fear. You’re tainted. A stricken. Things we all grew up fearing. Fear turns to hate. It’s visceral, especially in dragons. Intellectually, I know you didn’t do it to yourself. Your parents did. Yet that makes it even worse. Surely there had to have been a huge reason for them to do it, right?”
“If you ever learn it, I’ll give you ten bucks to let me know.”
“The real reason doesn’t matter, it’s that it was done. You’re damaged goods. You’re this thing we were all brought up to fear. Less than human. Yet you’re here. You have magic. You have eyes. You can see. Now you’re something else. Like the boogieman. Some of our worst fears, where someone that is less than human rises up and can strike back. And we’re pretty much hardwired to hate you and go for you. After all, you’re stricken. That means you’re weak.”
“Except I killed Colin.”
“Right. No matter how you did it, unless you came out with something so fucking devastating that shut everyone down, you were always gonna be attacked. The strongest will want to take you down to stop you from gaining power and becoming a threat. The weaker will think you were lucky and want to kill you so that they can be strong. See what it’s like on the other side of things.”
“So, breakfast tomorrow?”
“Personally? Be prepared. I’ll be shocked if you make it to Monday without someone doing something bad enough that you’ll be forced to challenge them.”
“I’m not sure what that could be.”
“It all depends. Accidentally stab you? Hit you. Hurt you? Threaten you in such a way that you either strike first or they do? After all, if you die in an accident and your power is drained first, no one will be the wiser.”
“This place, man. It’s something else.”
“That it is. That’s why we get allies. To hopefully see us through so that we can get out of here alive.”
“And yet you have to watch them for when or if they turn on you.”
“You got it in one.”
“Why, though? Why not just be allies? Why is it normal to expect them to do that?”
“Nature of our world. Of the beast. It sucks, but it really is our world. I just don’t know if it’s intrinsic or learned. Meaning, is it our world because it is our world? Or is it our world because we all think it’s our world and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy?”
“That’s fucked. That means that even if you don’t want to go after an ally, you sort of have to have plans anyway. Even if only to stop them from going after you.”
“Right. To stop them from going after you. To hit them first if you think they’re gonna move. To hit them when they’re weak or not expecting it in case they were planning on going against you.”
“That is so very messed up.”
“And now you went from someone weak to someone weak and lucky. That’ll change the attacks. That’ll change the fights.”
“I’m starting to see that.”
She didn’t say anything for a bit, “G’night. See you in the morning.”
“Good night.”
She closed her eyes and I watched her as her breathing evened out over the next bunch of minutes as my mind ran down thought after thought. Aisle after aisle. What’s my best course of action? Do I challenge if someone comes after me? I think I need to play it by ear. What do I do?
I just don’t know.
After a bit, my brain started to calm, and I began playing with the power inside of me. I feel so much more powerful than before. I couldn’t really grasp it before, but now? I can feel what he added to me. He didn’t add water powers. That’s not how this whole thing works. If you’re fire and you kill air, you don’t gain air powers. You gain more power period. Again, not one for one, but it’s freaking noticeable. He was more powerful than I thought he was, at least that’s what it feels like based on what I’m feeling. It’s heady and amazing and so freaking awesome that I made it through alive and got to suck him dry in a way that no one knew.
I began touching myself as I felt the power again and again, flexing it and moving, letting my hair light up bit by bit, sending cascading lines of light across the wall and ceiling near me. When my orgasm hit, it was freaking wonderful, and more power flared out before pulling back in, cutting off the light show.
I was quite shocked to hear a soft voice from across the room, “I knew you somehow drained him. Even your taunt wasn’t a lie.”
She’s smiling at me in the dark from her bed, and I can’t help smiling back at her. Yes, she just either heard or watched me masturbate, but I can live with that. I don’t feel any shame about that like you’d think. “What can I say? He tasted fucking amazing.” My voice was just as soft.
She snickered and yawned, “Good night.”
“’night.”
My first full day here at the academy. God, I hope things calm down soon.
Chapter 17
My alarm turned off as I woke. Early again. Obviously.
Sooo…yeah. I’ve been here one day, and I’ve already killed someone. Legally, but still. C’mon, who thinks of themselves as a killer? I don’t care that I killed him, don’t get me wrong. I know I should. At least I think I should. I just…don’t feel a damn thing about it other than satisfaction that I survived. A hidden joy that I can feel his power inside of me. And a desire to learn more about magic to protect myself.
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again; what the fuck is up with this world and why are supernaturals such bastards?
Well, I’m paraphrasing things I’ve said. I’m not sure I’ve said that exactly before. Same sentiment, though. I’d say I don’t remember my parents teaching me this stuff, but that goes without saying.
Hmmm, I should see if I can research my parents. Find out who they are. Were. No, are. They’re still my parents. They gave birth to me. They raised me. They housed me. They fed me. They clothed me.
They cast me away.
I swear, if I have to kill every person in this school to gain enough power to find them and make them pay for the nightmare of what they put me through, I’ll do it. If I knew it for a fact, I’d walk across the room and kill Parece right now. Even though she’s actually been decently nice to me in our individual conversations.
Yes. That’s bloodthirsty. Sue me. My life from nine to now has kind of taught me to look out for myself. Fuck the cost to others if need be. Jean taught me otherwise, but we see where that got us. How much of my weird mentality is nature versus nurture? I can’t even guess. Did I learn to think this way because of how I was raised? Or did I start out this way and just not remember it? I guess it could be both.
Frankly…now that I think about it, it’s probably unfair to pin all of my mental issues on Reggie. He deserves his fair share, but I’m thinking my parents deserve their trainload too. After all, they’re a part of this world. I highl
y doubt they didn’t start teaching me what it would take to succeed.
I just don’t remember it. So, did that have an impact on my life? Well, them pounding torture devices into my skull certainly did, so maybe it doesn’t matter if they told me about the academies in excruciating detail and tried to set me up to be a budding little murderer of my friends. Even if that part of things may not have made it through the rest of my life, their actions are pretty much the precursor to everything else.
My thought gets broken up as I roll out of bed without warning. Parece is asleep, so I pad quietly to the bathroom. It’s Saturday, so let’s not wake her up. There’s quiet snoring coming from the other room, which doesn’t change as I pee, then brush my teeth. I want to see if I can get to town today without people knowing, but I need to eat first, so let’s head out. That calls for a ponytail and a change of clothes.
Then I’m gone, leaving her behind as I try to pay attention to everything around me. I don’t hear anyone awake today. While there had been people awake yesterday, I think it being a weekend means there are fewer people to run into. Can’t say that I blame them. The shame part of things in my life is that I’d love to sleep late…yet I can’t. Jean was big on early morning’s too, just not 5am like Reggie was. I’ve rarely been able to sleep late unless injured. Except there, with Reggie? I still woke up whenever I could to prove to him that I was willing to follow rules. There were some times he had to order me to sleep to recover quicker.
He always had a proud sound to his voice when he had to do it, though.
Man…I can’t even guess the amount of Stockholm syndrome that I have in me. I hate him with every fiber of my being, but…I made myself love him for more than four years. I never, not even once, showed him the core of hatred. I didn’t just act the part. I lived the part. I never smelled upset unless the situation really called for it. I never once let him smell my anger. My fear. My upset. I had to trust that, since I was his, he wouldn’t let me be permanently hurt or killed. And I jumped in, full-bore, and lived it to my best ability.
