by Bob Dattolo
“So you have to watch for each other, watch for the spells they want. Watch for traps. Watch for others that took other paths. This is like a level of hell.”
“Welcome to the trial.”
No laughter that time.
We broke up an hour or so later, with everyone heading out and leaving me and Parece there. I started setting up my laptop as she got ready for bed. She’s forgoing anything tonight and catches my look, “What? You’re a dragon. You can’t tell me you’re freaked out by this.”
“Umm, no? I was just wondering why?”
“I was holding off in case it bothered you before. Since I know it doesn’t?”
Oookay. Something to get used to.
Someone knocked at the door, and she opened it without a problem. “Hey, thought you’d be back.”
Samantha stepped in, “Hey. Angelica should be here in a minute.”
“Okay. I’ll…”
“I’m here.” Angelica came through.
“Oookay? You guys watching a movie or something? Getting sexy?”
Samantha snorted and plopped onto the couch again, “Nope. Or maybe? Just not with Angelica.”
Parece sat next to her, leaning in. “That’ll be for later, though.”
Angelica sat on my couch again, pulling her legs up, “We wanted to talk to you.”
“Sooo…this is an intervention or something? Why are the three of you in here?”
More exchanged looks between them, with Angelica nodding to them before turning back, “Here’s the thing. You’re a dragon. Of some sort. Lord knows what type…actually, do you know what your affinity is?”
“No idea. You guys are all metal, do you think I’m a new metal type?”
“I guess that’s immaterial.”
“Then why the secret meeting that’s interrupting Parece and Samantha riding faces?”
She didn’t react to my comment. “We have a question for you.”
“If it’s for my astrology sign, I don’t have a clue what it is.”
“Talk to us about your dragon.” Her matter-of-fact statement caught me flat-footed. She’s absolutely serious. As are the other two.
“Well, she loves long walks on the beach. Candlelight. Fires and making s’mores. She’s a huge fan of Game of Thrones and Skyrim, for obvious reasons. She does not like licorice.”
No response. Just silent stares.
“Umm, you know you guys are kinda freaking me out, right? I don’t have a clue what you’re asking. I shifted once. You guys saw me. You know what I look like more than I do.”
More silent looks between them.
“Okay, what’s with the looks? What are you asking?” I’m not afraid, but I’m heading there. I have no idea what they’re asking.
“How could she not know?” Samantha didn’t know who to look at.
“I don’t know. She’s being honest, but maybe we’re just not asking the right question?”
“Seriously, Parece? Just spit it out already! I don’t know what you’re asking. My shoe size? How large my wings are? Why I have boobs with scales on them? Just tell me!”
Angelica held up her hand, silencing the other two, “Tell us about her. Is she calm? Aggressive? Demanding? Dominating? I know you won’t tell us if she’s afraid, but…tell us about her.”
What the hell? “Can we take a step back a bit? How about this? How about you tell me about your dragon? Same questions.”
More looks. “Fine. She’s calm but assessing. Secretive, although most of our dragons are. She’s demanding, but she’ll allow others to have their moments. She doesn’t have to be in charge constantly, but haaates others trying to control her.”
What?
“Mine is more of a follower than a leader. Content to be number two to a more powerful number one. Would think nothing of taking out any competitors for that number two spot. Wouldn’t easily step into the number one spot without enough of a reason to.”
Seriously, what? I didn’t get a chance to ask Parece what that meant before Samantha started talking.
“Mine is dominant. Very dominant. Always with the questions and comments about others. About making you answer. About making everyone bow down to me. To eat me until I can’t come anymore. She wants to be in charge. She loves that Parece is willing to follow and likes being with girls, because we have someone to have fun with that isn’t trying to kill us. Yet.”
Angelica took a deep breath when Samantha stopped talking, “Now, please tell us about your dragon.”
Instead of answering immediately, I rolled through their answers as I looked at them. “I am telling you the truth, the whole truth. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I shifted once. Other than being way hungrier than normal, nothing has changed that I can tell. I’m no calmer, angrier, or more dominant than I was. I’m still me.” Something Samantha said had me blinking, “Uhh…wait…Samantha? You said…you said something about there always being comments and questions about others? What do you mean by that?”
She jumped up; confusion written huge across her face. “It’s like…it’s like she doesn’t have a clue. How can she not have a clue? That’s impossible!”
Angelica touched her hand, getting her to stop, “Maddie? Tell us about your dragon. Tell us about what she says to you. What you talk about. It should have been happening before you shifted but definitely happening now that you did shift for the first time. Tell us about that.”
Oh my fucking God. “Are you saying…are you saying that your dragons talk to you?”
More shared looks as Samantha collapsed to the floor, missing the couch. She looks dazed, “Uhh…I need to…she wants to talk. Hold on.”
Something changed in her, and her demeanor adjusted instantly. She went from dazed and confused and weak looking, to anything but any of those. She looked poised. Strong. Confident. Like she’s possibly looking at a bug, but maybe not.
When she started talking, even her voice sounded different. Not the sound, but the cadence. The inflection. “We haven’t met, but I’ve seen you. Been seeing you. I warned Samantha that you would be bad news. Then I warned her that she had best back off. Your open challenge to her was too tempting. Too obvious. Thank you for that, by the way, I was counseling her to attack, and that made me step back and reassess everything. Now I’m glad I did. Your display at healing and dealing with Alison, including your shift, was very…informative.”
“What…what the fuck is going on? Samantha?”
She shook her head, “This body is Samantha. I am not. I do not have a name as such. I’m her other half. Her dragon. She drives this body; I drive our other when she’s not learning how to handle things.”
“Oh my fucking God.”
She stood, stretching, “It’s not often that I step in like this, so I’m finding it hard to not try enforce my dominance. Instead, I’ll try for polite. Let us speak with your dragon.”
Her mention of dominance has me growling before she was done speaking, and magic surged around me, hidden by my hair not lighting up. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
She smiled, not looking like a normal smile for Samantha, “You heard me. Let us speak with your dragon.”
“Not that. You mentioned dominating me?”
“I’m a gold dragon, you don’t stand a chance against me. Don’t make me force you.”
I stood, moving up to her, “I’d like to see you try.”
“NO! Stop!” Parece shot off of the couch.
“Why should I stop from showing her my power?” Samantha sounds on the verge of shifting, which wouldn’t be good in a room this size.
“That’s just it, don’t you get it? She doesn’t have a clue what we’re talking about. She’s completely lost at talking to you!” My roomie stepped between us, “Maddie? Do you hear your dragon’s voice? Talking to you?”
Some of the rage at being questioned flowed back and away, although it didn’t really hide. It just moved away from being everywhere. “Umm…no? I haven’t had a vo
ice in my head since I broke free. Just before coming here.”
Samantha shivered, looking like herself when she was done, “What the hell? What do you mean you don’t have a voice? Every dragon has a voice! They’re us, but they’re not! That was her, not me. I was in the background. You have to have a voice!”
“Umm, I don’t? I mean, I used to? But she…left? Sort of?”
My roommate pushed me backwards and made me sit, “Out with it. What the fuck do you mean? That’s impossible! You should have heard her when you had your inducement ceremony.”
“Umm…I didn’t? I heard a voice before that. I called her other-me. I thought I was crazy. I guess I had her there for weeks prior to that as an actual voice? Prior to that it was spotty, and I’d only get a few words. When my parents turned me into a stricken, she got spotty again. I didn’t hear her much at Jean’s house. When she was killed, and I was taken…”
She crouched and touched my knee, “What happened?”
“Umm, when I was taken? I knew it was gonna be bad. Like really bad. She managed to be heard and she sort of…stepped in?”
“She what? Stepped in?” She fell back on her butt.
“Yeah? She knew I’d have issues with everything that was coming, so I sort of…faded? Went into the background. She drove pretty much a hundred percent from that point. I just sort of…freaked out in the background at what I had to do. What happened to me. It wasn’t me that put his hand on my neck. I remember doing it, but not really why, even though I sort of got what the result would be. When everything happened at the very end? I was being raped and beaten by the couple I mentioned. They were horrific. I wanted out. I was in the background and she was driving, but I was done. I wanted out, even if it killed me. I started pushing to take over. She’d been letting me out at times to get used to things, and I was still struggling with everything. But I seriously…death was preferable, and I kept trying to push my way out. I couldn’t hear her most of the time and she couldn’t hear me much either, but she basically said…umm.”
She touched me again, “This is important, that was your dragon. What happened?”
“Umm, she said that I’d die if I managed to push and take over. I don’t know if she knew we were grabbing at magic or not, but she made it sound like I’d pretty much die unless she sort of joined with me? She called it integrating. When that happened, the mortmagi started pushing out. I broke free. I haven’t heard her voice since then. And…my thinking?” I know I smell afraid at this point. “My thinking changed when I broke free. I went from terror at what used to happen to me to acceptance. Still angry, but that’s not the same thing. Things started making sense to me. I even picked up some things that I know I wasn’t really aware of originally that I’m now remembering. It’s like…like we combined together? Like she said? Integrated?”
They’re starting to smell weirdly freaked out.
“So there’s no voice in my head. Not like there used to be. As far as I can tell, it’s just me in here. So to answer your questions from earlier? If we’re really integrated and it’s just me? Then secretive, which you guys already figured out. Calm, but willing to stand up for myself. Willing to stand up and look out for others. And, I’m not sure about the dominance thing, but when you pushed me, I wanted to tear into you until you bowed down to me.” Samantha met my eyes.
Parece pushed away from me until her back hit the couch. Her breathing is fast, something I didn’t notice before. “This is…this is impossible. No one…no one…”
Samantha touched her shoulder, “No one has ever integrated with their dragon. We’re not designed to do it. We think like them because we have to. I’ve never heard of one of us that doesn’t have a dragon side. That doesn’t hear the voice. We all just pretty much hide it so that mages don’t really get it.”
“Why’s it a secret?”
“It’s not a secret as much as it’s downplayed? It’s not in the lessons here, but plenty of mages know. They just don’t seem to spread it much? No idea why. Then again, I don’t know that most people really get the extent of how different we are.”
“Well, like what?”
“Like so many things? Personally? I’m okay with us supporting the weaker students and getting through the trial. But she’s not. She’s half of me, so we sort of debate. It’s just that she’s the tactician when it comes to things like that. She understands so much more about what happens and what the downstream impact is.” She shivered again, “Hold on.” Her dragon came back into place, “I have talked to hundreds of dragons even though we are young. The idea of integration is a…dream, maybe? We know that we’re separated. We have an idea that we would be stronger if we were one, yet we don’t know how to do it. No one has ever managed it. Yet you’re saying…you did?”
“Yeah? I mean, I’m not sure how to prove that?”
She stood again, “Can I try to test something?”
“Sure? Like what?”
“Nothing bad. Just watch me.” She moved to the middle of the room, then stopped. Without doing much, her entire posture changed. Tiny movements had her looking straight at me, head back a little. Mouth tensed; eyes narrowed.
Then she moved again, turning slightly to the side by the tiniest bit, eyes moving off of mine and settling on my cheek. Head coming down a fraction.
Then she moved again, a flicker of a smile forming on her lips as her head seemed to dance back and forth, moving from side to side without moving much at all.
Then she changed yet again. Her hands fluttered as her breathing quickened. She turned more to the side, and her hips adjusted. Her eyes narrowed, but not how they were before.
Without warning, she turned and moved to the couch, sitting again.
“Now, Parece? You saw what I did. Without talking to your dragon, do you know what I did?”
She frowned, “Umm, I think so? But I’m not positive.”
“Uhh, you couldn’t tell?” Every eye turned to me, “She was asserting her dominance. Trying to show me who’s in charge. Then showing me a less dominant, more subservient position. Like you’d take with someone that’s dominant. The head side to side thing? That was her being playful. Wanting to fly or have a magic fight. All for fun, though. The last one? She was telling me that she’s horny and wants to have sex.”
Samantha shivered once again, and her dragon stepped away. “She’s right. You didn’t talk to your dragon, right?”
“No? It was obvious to me. I knew it.”
“Stand up for a sec?”
I stood up without questioning her. “Now what?”
“Show me dominant but willing to share a position with an equal.”
I faced her straight on, head level, and met her eyes as I squinted a little. My nostrils flared, looking for a scent of understand… “Oh my fucking God, we really are integrated!”
Angelica scooted forward on the couch, “She was right? With what you did?”
“Yes.”
“And she was right there. I picked up on that, but I had to verify with my dragon. I missed the nostril flare. If she’s integrated…how the fuck did that happen? Can we do that?”
“I don’t know. I just…you came together when you were trying to break free?”
“Yeah? The couple I was with? They’d routinely hurt me, and it’d take weeks to be able to walk. They’d go into a frenzy when I’d scream, so I’d fight and fight to not scream as long as possible, because that’s when the worst damage happened. They’d lose control. He’d fuck me with these massive dildoes and tear me apart. They’d both whip me bloody. Bones showing in some cases. He’d hit me so hard he’d break me pelvis, then fuck me again and again. Or she’d break my jaw and make me go down on her while I was tied up. It was the stuff of nightmares. I wanted out. Death or escape, I was okay either way. I guess I couldn’t break through the mortmagi without her, so…no idea what she did. Maybe it wasn’t me at all, maybe it was all her. I just don’t know. Is being integrated good, though?”
Laughter from the three of them, “Every one of us thinks about it. Even our dragons. They talk about it when we shift. That’s one reason why we have our shifting class. To get used to shifting and to learn to work together. While we’re the same person, we’re not always on the same page. We have to be pulling in the same direction, otherwise things fall apart. If we can become one somehow, then we won’t need to be on the same page. There’ll only be one page.”
“My thinking changed when it happened, though. What if what you think of as you changes?”
She shrugged, “That’s a possibility. Like you with death or escape? I don’t know one of us that would say no to that even with the chances of that happening. To always be present and not hiding in the background while someone else drives? To be with them? We all remember our time with them driving, but we’re at a remove. Just like they do the same with us. There’s a part of us that’s present no matter who’s driving. We’d like all of us to be there. It’s like one of the biggest dreams our species has.”
“And I ran into it by accident?”
“And you ran into it by accident.” She mirrored me as she sat again. It turned into a bit of a stare fest at that point, but I didn’t interrupt them. I can feel their minds working. Feel their melancholy. I can see it in their postures. Something I’ve tried not to look into a ton. I felt like I was being overly sensitive, but maybe that’s just it? I’m literally sensitive to it now since it’s like a flag to me?
Integration made that possible.
And I lucked into it.
Chapter 28
Waking in the morning was a weird experience. Not because Samantha and Parece are in Parece’s bed and they had no shame in letting me see everything they got up to last night. Not because I played along. But because Angelica is asleep next to me. She didn’t bother hiding anything either as we watched them. Yes, she saw me. Yes, I saw her. It just didn’t matter all that much in the scheme of things.
I’ve never had a sleepover that I know of. I never expected to have one here. If I did, I honestly would have thought it’d happen with Kaylee and not Angelica. Kaylee is the type to want to be close and huddle to someone for protection. Not that Angelica did that. At all. I think she just wanted to be close to another dragon, even if I am a freak of one.
