by C. A. Harms
“I find it strange that a college girl spends most of her time hiding in her room. Still living at home seems strange. I know when I was in college I was out enjoying the college life.”
“I’m sure you were.” The images rolling around in my mind seemed to suit her. “Maybe you could convince my father to let me move into a dorm. My tuitions are covered, but he’s insistent on keeping me here.”
“Maybe I can.” It’s like a light bulb just came on in her mind.
“Then you and him would have the run of the house, no interruptions and all.”
She might be a sleaze but if she could manage to convince my father to loosen the reins while still paying for my fees, I’d be forced to like her, even if it were just a little.
An hour later I was sitting in Vera’s living room trying my hardest to forget the images that Bianca forced upon me.
“She actually said hitting it hard?” Vera laughed and I glared at her. “I’m sorry, honey. I know he’s your father but I just can’t imagining that man hitting anything hard. If you know what I mean.”
“Stop!” I shivered and her laughter grew louder. “It’s disgusting. I don’t think she’s much older than me.”
“He always had a thing for younger girls.”
My eyes practically bugged out of my head.
“Think about it, your mother was seven years younger than him.”
“Yeah.” I guess it didn’t feel the same as now. “But he is fifty-two and this woman, girl, whatever you want to call her, can’t be more than twenty-five. I know why he’s doing it.”
“Or doing her…”
“Stop!” I pretend to gag. “But why is she?”
“I know it’s not due to his bedroom skills, because your mom said those weren’t the greatest.”
“Oh my God, why?” Vera laughed so hard she snorted and it reminded me of my mother and the times the two of them would drink wine late at night out by the pool and share old stories. The joy my mother found in her best friend was some of my greatest memories of her.
“It’s the money, the freedom.” Vera reined in her laughter, I tried to be serious. “He can provide her financial stability.”
“So she’s looking for an older man to take care of her?” Vera nods. “Well, that’s just gross.”
“You could always stay here.” I loved her for offering but my father would never go for it. He was never a fan of Vera. I had a much better chance of moving into my own place or a dorm. She knew this and chose not to push it further.
“What’s going on with the guy you met at the party?”
I looked down at my phone and saw the flashing blue light reminding me of the message I had yet to listen to. “We went to the movies, it was fun.”
“And?”
“And nothing.” Ignoring my phone, I reached for my water and took a drink. “Darcy reminded me of the kind of guy he was.”
“What kind of guy is that?”
“A college guy.”
Vera said nothing, just waited for me to explain and I wasn’t sure I wanted to try.
“What do you say we go out to dinner?” Thankful again that Vera decided not to push, I nodded in agreement and gathered my purse to wait for her by the door. A night out away from my father and his new friends, from Darcy and her trying her best to push me in the direction she thinks I should go, oh, and the waiting message I couldn’t bring myself to listen to. I just wanted to get away from it all.
When I messaged my father and told him I was staying at Darcy’s he didn’t even attempt to give me shit. A simple okay was all I was given in return. Maybe his new friend wasn’t such a bad thing, even if she was a gold-digging floozy.
***
“I love this one.” Vera held up a blue top and passed it to me. “Try it on.” It was low cut, slim fitting, and so out of the ordinary for me. “It would look great on you.” She paused. “With these…” She dug through the rack and found my size and held up a pair of cut-off shorts. “You have amazing legs, Ruby, you need to show them off a little. With the perfect wedges this would be a great outfit.”
It was cute, but not something I would normally wear. I imagined my father telling me I looked like a bimbo and then I imagined myself replying with the fact that it was exactly something his new friend would wear. Actually, it may cover more than what she would wear.
I took the clothes from her without another moment of hesitation and went to the nearest dressing room.
Once in the clothes I admired myself in the mirror and felt confident. Vera was right. The shorts complimented my legs, and the shirt, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.
We left the strip mall with a few bags in tow and my credit card with a higher balance than I’d ever placed on it before. I had money, my mother made sure of it. After her death when my father found out she’d had a policy with me as the beneficiary, he’d gone through a period where he’d barely look at me. All I could do was smile because even after her death she was protecting me.
Vera and I stopped at Starbucks and I paid for hers and my own. We talked as we exited, fully focused on one another and not our surroundings. I was surprised when I came face to face with Jay and the blonde I’d seen him with only a few days ago.
He stood tall, wearing faded frayed jeans and a tight blue shirt. His hair was a bit rugged, almost like his hands had run through it a few times, or someone else’s had. I felt a pain in my chest that I wanted to apply pressure to, only I refrained from bringing attention to it. He was gorgeous, with confidence that rolled off of him in waves. I swallowed hard at the thought of a girl at his side, touching him, being near him.
“Ruby.” He said my name and I was pulled out of my fantasy. Blinking to clear the haze, I forced the ache in my chest to calm. He wasn’t mine, he’d never been mine.
The girl looked from him to me and back to him, almost like she was waiting to be introduced. There was an awkward silence that had settled over us, and when our companions figured out that neither of us were planning introductions, they took it upon themselves to do so. “I’m Vera, an old family friend of Ruby and her late mother’s.”
When Vera mentioned the late mother part, Jay’s eyes softened just a small fraction but I ignored it.
“I’m Jade.” The blonde girl, very attractive I might add, thrust her hand out toward Vera. “I’m Jay’s older sister.”
I whipped my head toward her and I knew without a doubt I had to have looked ridiculous as her words sunk in. “You’re his sister?”
Jay chuckled and the girl glared at him before looking back at me. “Yes, I am.” She smiled. “And from the look on your face I’d have to guess that you’re the one he told me about who thought I was something more.”
Embarrassment took over and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.
“You’re the movie guy?” Vera’s acknowledgement only furthered the humiliation I’d felt by adding in her own thoughts.
“So she talked about me?” The three of them were looking between one another and all I wanted to do was slink back into Starbucks and find the back exit.
“Not much,” Vera had never been the one to sugarcoat anything, “just that you’d gone to a movie.”
Jade remained silent at her brother’s side, looking at him and then at me. I felt like she was sizing me up, developing an opinion of me, or maybe trying her best to imagine what was going on in each of our minds. I imagined her thoughts of me were nothing spectacular considering I thought she was her brother’s hook up. Oh my God, how mortifying.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Jay held out his hand and again I contemplated running away. Instead I placed my hand in his and let him lead me away from Vera and his sister. I didn’t chance a glance back, already knowing that the two of them were most likely watching us with prying eyes.
I’d allowed my imagination to get the best of me.
After we were at a safe distance he stopped and released my hand. I missed his touch immediately and felt stup
id that I’d let such a small gesture affect me. Truth was I barely knew Jay, and I allowed others to form my opinion of him.
“Your sister?”
Looking up, I found him grinning and nodding his head.
“Were you just going to let me continue to believe that she was something more?” He only shrugged. “Why?”
“Why should I stop you? You’ve already developed an opinion based on someone else’s thoughts.” I felt foolish. “I thought we’d had a nice time, not just at the movies but even before that at the party.”
“You mean when I got punched.”
“Well, before that part.” His smile was gone, as if the reminder of that particular part of the night angered him all over again. “I never once gave you any reason to believe that I was a bad guy. Never pressured you or acted as if you owed me anything.”
True.
“But you were pretty quick to jump to conclusions.” He held his cool, trying to play off that cocky demeanor as if he didn’t care, but I sensed he did. “I think you need to step back and decide if you’re gonna be your own person to lead your own life, or if you’re gonna continue to let others do that for you.”
He looked back and I followed his gaze, finding both Jade and Vera talking to one another and no longer watching us.
“I’m not a bad guy, Ruby.” I didn’t look at him right away but I could feel him staring at me. “I come from a broken home. One where I watched my father treat my mother as if she were disposable. I’ve watched my sister go through one bad relationship after another because she never has seen what a stable relationship is like. I’m not that guy, and I never will be. I don’t find joy is stringing girls along. You were wrong to allow Darcy to convince you otherwise before giving me a chance to prove to you who I really am.”
I felt like a fool.
“I’m sorry.” And I was.
“Yeah.” He stepped back and I hated the distance. “Me too.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jay
“You wanna talk about it?” Jade sat in the passenger seat of my truck, staring at me from the side. I’d sensed her watching me from the very moment I rejoined her and Vera. It took a few minutes for Ruby to slowly walk back in our direction, her eyes looking toward the group and refusing to meet mine.
We’d said quick goodbyes and I didn’t look back. I knew if I did I’d go to her and tell her that classifying me as an asshole who uses girls was okay. I’d ignore that she chose to follow Darcy’s lead instead of giving me a chance.
So I stayed focused on placing one foot in front of the other. The ride with my sister had been silent, her giving me the time I needed to stew.
“Because you know I’m always here to listen.”
“What is this, Dr. Phil?” The minute the words left my lips in a snarky tone I regretted them. “I’m fine.” I was really fucking irritated. “It is what it is, ya know?”
“What is, what it is?” So many years I’d been the one there for her. The one to listen to her drama, run when she needed me and picked up the pieces after my father trampled her like he always did. I’d dealt with my shit, I’d handled it, yeah, maybe not always in the best ways. But I had me, I’d always had me. “I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”
In that moment Jade’s voice sounded so small, laced with heavy concern.
Flipping the signal to turn left into the parking lot of her apartment, I found the first open space and slid the truck into park. For several minutes the two of us just sat beside one another saying nothing. It was just the sounds of music playing on the radio and each of us breathing evenly, and a few doors closing to other vehicles in the lot.
I was angry about so many things, and if I was being truthful, it really wasn’t even all about Ruby. I liked her, she was the only girl I’d met that I actually wanted to spend time with. Other than Jade, but that was different.
Ruby was fun to talk to. She made my heart race with her smile alone. It was easy to tell she wasn’t the type of girl who had been around. So often I’d meet a girl and at least one if not more of the guys in my fraternity had fooled around with her in some way.
I wasn’t into seconds, that shit was messy.
Ruby was sweet, kind, and she made me feel like I could be me.
There was no need to show off, get drunk, and act like a dumb ass college kid. She was solid, someone you could share your dreams with and she wouldn’t go cross-eyed with confusion.
“Do you think we’re cursed?” I looked out the front windshield, refusing to look at my sister. I could already imagine the look in her eyes. She knew where this was all coming from. Years and years of unstable role models. One guy after another for my mom after our father broke her. And our dad, hell, I didn’t think he ever stopped dating even after he’d married our mother.
The two of us had no fucking idea what a committed relationship actually looked like. Well, with the exception of the few of my brothers that had now settled down. Sometimes I would catch myself watching Xavier and Morgan, or any of the others that had found the girl that shook the floor beneath their feet. The way they would laugh and that comfortable way they would just sit with each other, not even needing to talk. Like they’d found the one missing piece that had made them now feel whole.
“No,” Jade whispered a response to my question, almost like she’d taken a little extra time to roll it over in her mind. “I think that we’ve been shown how not to live our lives. I think that the two of us need to understand that our parents never really grew up. We can’t live our lives based on their mistakes.”
Turning, I looked at her and found her watching me.
“I’ve spent a lot of years chasing a fantasy. Searching for the guy that can give me all the things I think I thought a good guy was.” For the first time Jade appeared completely confident and strong. “I know our dad is an ass. I know that if I looked back at all the mistakes I’ve made I would realize that I was repeating history. Mom took so much shit from him before she woke up and understood that she deserved more. And in doing so she deserted her kids too, which was completely unfair. But Jay, we’ve got each other, and as far as I’m concerned I won, because you’ve always been on my side. One great thing our parents did during their disaster of a relationship was that they gave us each other. You aren’t our father and I’ve got to stop looking for the guy that will fill the void he left.”
I’d never heard her talk like this. I’d always imagined her to be completely delusional when it came to relationships. I guess I was wrong.
“Vera said something when you and Ruby were talking.” I locked my eyes with hers. “Ruby lost her mother when she was young and that was the day she lost her best friend.” My heart broke at the idea of a small Ruby sitting alone, sad and lost. “Her father sounds like an ass.”
“He’s the Dean.”
“I know.” She smiled and I wondered how much she and Vera shared in the short time they were alone. “And he’s a prick.”
“What else did you and Vera share during your five minutes of freedom?”
Jade smiled, offering me a little shrug. I loved seeing my sister so carefree. She may be a year and a half older than me but I’d always done everything I could to protect her. Jade’s heart is so full.
“Just that she hasn’t really had the best person to show her the right way to love someone or even get to know someone.”
I stared at my sister, her holding my gaze. In that very moment she seemed so solid and put together. I was proud of her.
***
Loud pounding on my door woke me from a deep sleep. The sun was so bright beaming through my blinds I wondered how in the hell I slept as long as I had.
“Wake the fuck up, man. Mud wars, bitch,” Isaac bellowed from outside my door. “Those dicks think they’re gonna take us this year but they gotta another thing coming.”
I lay back on my mattress, covering my face with my pillow. The last thing I felt like doing was gearing up for some adolesce
nt mud war with a bunch of rich asshole kids who thought their shit don’t stink. The war with the Alphas started with Xavier when his ex starting dating their house Prez. He didn’t give a shit about that bitch no more but the war had carried on. Truth was, beating them every year gave us all satisfaction. They deserved to land on their asses. This was one thing their daddies couldn’t buy them.
“It’s go time!” That sounded like Blake, and I pulled the pillow from my head and hurried from bed. Pulling open the door, I saw her wearing all black. Hell, she even wore one of Elijah’s helmets. Geared up and ready for war.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Mud wars!” She was excited. I’m talking bouncing on the balls of her feet with pure joy.
“Red’s not gonna let you play.” She had to know this. The idea of men bombing his girl with mud, tackling her and destroying her, that shit wouldn’t happen. “He’s gonna go ballistic.
“Duh.” I arched my brow. “It’s the perfect way to set the beast loose.”
Was she serious? “You’re doing it to fire him up?”
“It was Isaac’s idea.” She shrugged, still pulling on the helmet that bobbled on her head like it was ten sizes too big. She and Red couldn’t be more opposite in size; the guy was a fucking gorilla and Blake, she was tiny. “Come on, if we play our cards right, Eli will demolish them all within the first hour and the rest of us can be back here chilling with a cold beer by two.” She practically skipped off down the hallway toward the stairs and I was left wondering if this was going to be the worst or easiest mud war in history.
I suspected someone would be going to the E.R. and I’d give fifty that it’d be an Alpha for sure.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ruby
I was in the passenger seat of Darcy’s car, looking through my phone while she drove down Main. We’d just completed a cram session and decided to take a break for some frozen yogurt.
