The Interdimensional Dilemmas of IAN and Betty

by D R Brooks

CHAPTER 2

  Out of the bubbling Bigfoot clawed what looked like a fetal vampire.  Before it fully opened its hideously large eyes, it leapt with a screech onto Betty’s neck and bit down, suckling.

  She gurgled, “A little help here?"

  IAN leaned down and looked at the freshly open cavity in the dead Bigfoot.

  “Try biting it back.”

  So bite, she did, with all the fury she could manage. And while she ripped and ravaged, she had time to reflect on the impermanence of life. The meditation was a short one, for soon she found she had made it through to the other side of the (after all) scrawny thing's neck. The thin membrane of the skin made a sickening sound as it hit the virgin timber floor. The head, however, continued sucking happily away at its ersatz victim's neck.

  “Now that was most definitely not supposed to come out of this. Why do you suppose…oh, would you stop playing around over there?  The shift should occur any minute now.”

  Just when Betty thought the little beastie would be a permanent fixture, it detached with a distinct popping sound.

  She tried to squish it with an orthopedic shoe, but it managed to roll away. "I believe I have a plaster somewhere in my bag..." She rummaged through the large valise she had brought.

  "Ah. Here we are." She put a hand on her hip. "Well. I suppose I'm a vampire now? Most unfortunate. You know, some help might have been appreciated."  IAN still appeared to be completely absorbed in the corpse.

  “I did tell you to bite.”

  Betty scowled in response.

  “And you're not a vampire now, though there are...side effects.  The most immediate would probably be the temporary age reversal of maybe 15 to 30 years.”

  Betty gave a small gasp.

  IAN watched intently as the body of the Bigfoot went into convulsive shudders, while the scent of ozone filled the room.

  "Mr. Bleeds? That? What you just said? That's going to be a real problem for me. She tugged nervously on hair that had escaped from her chestnut  bun.  "I'm only 35."

  For the first time since their meeting, he gave his full attention to her, eyes lingering noticeably on her rather frumpy pants and fully buttoned blouse.  “From your correspondence and demeanor, I thought you were surely approaching old age.  This makes things a little more complicated.”

  Betty straightened her tortoiseshell glasses.  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but can we focus please?  What’s going to happen to me?”

  “I’m not sure.  But maybe we should make our journey a little sooner rather than later.” IAN said thoughtfully.

  “What journey? Oh!” Betty started in surprise as the reunited head and body of the creature slithered past her and disappeared into a small jagged hole that had dripped from the ceiling, making its way to the middle of the room.  She turned to IAN  with her mouth hanging open. “A Bleed.”

  “Don’t worry about that right now, we’ll catch up.”

  “I mean, there’s a Sasquatch at your feet!  I feel so validated. Oh, and those samples? Immediate red flags on the litmus strips showed a marked increase in acidity." She dug a small journal out of her seemingly fathomless bag and flipped through the pages, brushing her disheveled hair out of her face simultaneously. In fact, off-the-charts acidity, which is supremely groundbreaking and now I’m going to die?  Just as I’m finally making some headway?”

  She closed the notebook with a snap and turned with leery eyes toward IAN. “Wait.  Catch up? Am I finally going to get some answers here?  What in the blazes is going on?”

  Just then a strange vibration overtook the dining room and what was left of the Bigfoot, all the samples, and gore disappeared into the dark hole, leaving the house looking like nothing ever happened.

  “Finally.  “I was beginning to think this was going to take as long as Roswell.”

  "Roswell? I'm not sure why that surprises me. I knew once I started studying transdimensions, and CERTAINLY when we began correspondence, that things I once dismissed were no longer dismiss-able.  So, please, if you would, explain to me what does Roswell have to do with Bigfoot? Was there a Bleed you have firsthand experience of? What category was it? A simple 1 or even a 3? Don't tell me it was a cataclysmic 5?"

  “So academic.  Explanations neuter the Bleeds of all their innate sexiness.  Trying to put a numbered system to it.” he scoffed.

  "I understand that it seems like a strange juxtaposition - that I chose this as my field when I need things to be quantifiable." Betty took time to replace the bandage on her neck, which had already soaked through. "Is the room spinning or is that just my blood loss?" She leaned against the wall.

  “Neither.  Vertigo is common for first time travelers through the Multiverse.”

  "Oh. Well, I'm just going to be here for a little while. Feel free to investigate around me."  She fell further, trying to prop herself up against the furniture.

  IAN grabbed her arm and eased her down gently to the floor.  The hole seemed to be widening, reaching toward them.  “You’re showing signs of age reversal already.  So hold tight, we’re going through.”