by Amiee Louise
That is a good fucking question.
“I’m fucked if I know, dude.”
I think I just met another man, who is in love with Peyton.
29
Peyton - Nine Months Ago
We have just closed up the coffee shop for the day, and we are sitting on one of the sofas, having a well-earned cup of hot, refreshing, lemon tea after a long and extremely busy day. God, I miss my cups of coffee. My feet are fucking killing me, my back is in bits and all I’m craving, is a hot bubbly bath and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
“Come on, babe, please? It will be fun, I promise. You’ve only been here what...three months, give or take? You haven’t experienced a night out until you’ve been with me, Blaze, and Henley,” Joel says enthusiastically in his Californian accent and gives me his best puppy dog eyes.
I smile at his attempt to cheer me up. He’s right; I came here just over three months ago. I live in Santa Monica with Remy, and I have a job working at a coffee shop called ‘Cool Beans’, where I met Joel. He has become a really close friend. He is twenty-nine years old and was born and raised in China. His family disowned him when he announced he was gay, saying that he bought shame upon them. He cut all ties with his family eleven years ago, when he had just turned eighteen, and he moved out here and hasn’t looked back since.
He has an Italian boyfriend, who is an underwear model, named Valentino or Val as he calls him. He is around five feet eleven inches tall, has platinum blonde hair, and wears it in a sleek side quiff. He has the most unusual golden amber eyes, a bright white grin, and is tall, and lean with a diamond stud in his ear. His personality matches the way he looks. He is flamboyant, bright, and from the moment I met him, he never fails to put a smile on my face. He is the assistant manager and the best coffee barista I have ever seen. He trained me, showed me the ropes, and took me under his wing from the moment I started working here. I am six, almost seven, months pregnant, and every day I am reminded of the life I left behind.
“I’m nearly seven months pregnant, Joel, look at the fucking state of me,” I complain, and Joel rolls his eyes dramatically.
“Bullshit! You look fucking beautiful, I’d bet money on it that you’re the best-looking mama-to-be Los Angeles has ever seen,” he says with an elaborate sweep of his arm, which makes me laugh out loud.
I can always rely on Joel to cheer me up. He has become an extremely close friend, someone I can confide in and turn to. He’s not Ruby, but he makes a good substitute.
“Come on, babe, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have fun.”
He takes my hand and bats his eyelashes.
“Please, for me?”
I roll my eyes and chuckle.
“Alright! You’ve twisted my arm, I’ll come.”
He laughs and claps his hands excitedly.
“Yay! Good girl! B and Henley are so looking forward to meeting you, Lulu.”
I smile and get to my feet.
“I better go home and make myself look beautiful then, babe.”
He blows me a kiss.
“You can’t rush perfection, darling. Blaze’s boyfriend, Rayne, is driving. We’ll pick you up at eight.”
I hug Joel and leave the coffee shop after my shift. A few hours pass and I have showered, eaten dinner with Remy, and dressed. When I first came to Santa Monica, Remy suggested I cut and dye my hair, just in case someone recognised me, so I took the plunge and visited a hair salon. I love my new look. I have a short, sleek, pillar-box red bob. It is so different from what I’m used to, but it works. I dress in a white dress with red skulls all over it. It accentuates my boobs and flatters my growing bump. I finish the look with my usual natural makeup, red flat pumps and a red hair band. I feel good.
“Wow, you’re looking good, mama!” Remy compliments and I blush.
“Why thank you, kind sir!”
He chuckles, and I hear a car horn beep outside the house. I grab my bag and say goodbye to Remy.
“Have fun, beaut, and if you can’t be good, be lucky.”
He winks and clucks his teeth as I kiss him on the cheek and make my way outside. I am greeted by Joel sitting on the hood of the car, wearing tight jeans, a pink vest and a white blazer with the sleeves rolled up. His platinum blonde hair is styled into his signature sleek side quiff.
“You bitch! You look fucking amazing!” he shrieks, and I laugh.
He comes over to me and wraps me in his arms. He pulls away and opens the door to allow me into the car. I climb in, and he squeezes in next to me.
“Lulu, these are my friends Blaze Spencer and Henley Marshall. The hottie in the driver’s seat is Rayne, Blaze’s better half.”
Rayne salutes coolly from the driver’s seat. I nod and smile.
“Nice to meet you all. Joel’s told me a lot about you,” I say shyly.
“Doesn’t she look stunning, girls?”
Blaze looks at me and beams.
“You could totally be a model, you look gorgeous. I’m Blaze, by the way. My dad was a fireman, hence the name!”
She chuckles and I instantly like her. Henley, the pink haired girl, on the other hand, seems a little hostile. She regards me with cautious, narrow eyes and Joel rolls his eyes.
“FML, Hen, don’t be a bitch! Ignore her, I think she must be on her period!” Joel says sardonically, and Henley flushes a shade of pink to match her hair.
She hits Joel on the arm a little harder than intended. Joel rubs his arm and pouts.
“Fuckin’ asshole.”
Joel blows her a kiss.
“You love me really, Hen.”
We make the rest of the journey to downtown Los Angeles in half an hour, and the car is filled with music and animated conversation. Soon we arrive at our destination; an exclusive hotel bar in Los Angeles called the SkyBar. It is situated on the roof of the Mondrian Hotel, overlooking the Sunset Strip. When we enter the bar via a lift, and I am instantly in awe of my surroundings. There are low-slated wooden tables and chairs with plump, white cushions situated around a large swimming pool. The lighting is low, and there are candles on all of the tables. Joel chuckles and wraps his arms around my waist.
“Pick your chin up off the floor, mama!”
I laugh, and he leads me to a table where a group of three muscular, tattooed men are sitting. They all look out of place in such a trendy place, and they stick out like a sore thumb from the rest of the hip, beautiful people. The one man stands up. He has shoulder length brown hair, with streaks of grey, a short beard, and a bandana around his head. I can’t help but think that he looks vaguely familiar. He is at least six feet six inches tall; he is huge, has muscles the size of my head and is rather intimidating. He is wearing tight black jeans, a black vest that make his bulging muscles look even bigger than they actually are and black biker boots. If I were to guess his age, I would put him around mid-forties. His steel blue eyes rake over me, and he grins, causing laughter lines to crease around his eyes, which soften his harsh features.
“Who’s this sweet thing, Hen? Are you not going to introduce us?” he says in a Boston accent, and Henley steps forward.
“This is Joel’s friend, Louise. Louise, this is my pain in the ass best friend and business partner, Jared DeSilva,” she introduces him with a cheeky grin, as I nod and smile.
He takes my hand and plants a kiss on the back. I find out that Jared has his own tattoo shop and has a tattoo show on one of the cable channels over here, which is how I recognised him.
“That is some mighty fine ink you have there, sweet thing.”
I smile proudly.
“Thank you, you have some amazing ink too, Jared.”
He smiles widely.
“Thanks, darlin’, make room for the lady, boys.”
The other two men who are with him stand up and move from their seats. One is lean and muscular; he is around five feet ten inches tall and has blue-grey eyes. His arms, neck, and the left side of his face are covered in tattoo
s. He has a white blonde Mohawk in the centre of his head and two old style pistols tattooed on either side of his head. He is wearing leather trousers, a black shirt and studded cowboy boots. If I were to guess his age, I would say he is around late thirties.
“I’m Axl, pleased to meet you, beautiful.”
His voice is deep and baritone. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it. Henley rolls her eyes and slaps his arm. I’m not sure whether she is being serious or if she is just being playful.
“She’s off limits, asswipe.”
Henley takes me by the hand and leads me to a chair while introducing me to the third man in their party.
“And this handsome motherfucker here is, Clay.”
He salutes coolly. He has dark coffee coloured skin, brown-green eyes, a small afro and black-rimmed glasses. He is wearing ripped faded jeans, a grey t-shirt and Reebok trainers. Henley passes me a tall glass of orange juice, and I smile as I take her in. She has short, cropped, bright pink hair, which suits her bronzed and heavily tattooed skin. She is around five feet seven inches tall, with unusual turquoise eyes that remind me of the colour of the ocean, and she has a prominent New York accent. She is wearing a pair of white hot pants, showing off her tattoos, a blue cropped Captain America t-shirt, and blue, knee-high, Converse with white stars all over.
During the night, I find out that Henley Marshall is twenty-nine and she is the business partner of one of Los Angeles’ most famous and influential, tattoo artists, Jared DeSilva. Henley and Blaze both attended school and college together. They have known each other since they were nine years old.
Blaze Spencer is also twenty-nine years old, and she is a lap dancer and part-time model. She has dark chocolate, flawless skin with long poker straight black hair tumbling down to her waist. She has green eyes and also has a prominent New York accent. They both moved to Los Angeles after they left high school and have been here ever since.
“So, you know pretty much everything about us, Lou, now it’s your turn.”
I bite my lip and wonder how much to tell them about my life before I came here.
“Not much to tell really. I’m Louise Stonebridge, my friends call me Lou or Lulu. I’m twenty-eight years old, and I moved here from the U.K. I wanted a fresh start, after a messy break up with my fiancé; I’m pretty boring compared to you and Blaze,” I say cheerily, hoping they don’t spot the lie, and they both laugh.
“We don’t mind boring, honey. In fact, boring is good. So is your ex the father of your baby?”
Henley points to my prominent bump and Blaze elbows her in the ribs, throwing her a knowing look.
“Hen!”
Henley takes a sip of her drinks and shrugs. I brush Blaze’s arm reassuringly.
“Blaze, its fine, honestly, I don’t mind.”
I smile and nod, trying to swallow back the lump forming in my throat.
“He hurt you pretty bad didn’t he, honey? I can tell by the look in your eyes,” Blaze says sympathetically, and before I get chance to answer, Joel plops himself down on the seat next to me.
“Fuck that, baby girl. What I really want to know is what the deal is with you and Mr Tall, dark and Handsome? The long-haired God who picks you up from the coffee shop. All I know is that he’s a close friend of Dax, and he’s very mysterious, like one of those brooding heroes. Come on spill it, sister,” Joel says dramatically, and I chuckle, thankful for the subject change.
“We’re just friends, that’s all, babe.”
Joel cocks his eyebrow.
“Really? That old chestnut? Friends with benefits? Fuck buddies? Come on Lulu, give me something!”
I throw my head back and laugh.
“No! Me and Remy are just…good friends.”
I bite my lip, and he gives me a knowing look.
“Hmm, by the dramatic pause, Aunty Joel senses history between you two? Am I right?”
He regards me intently, and I take a sip of my drink, suddenly feeling my face burning with embarrassment at discussing my sex life with a group of virtual strangers. Henley brushes my arm in a gesture of reassurance.
“Ignore him, honey. You should know by now that he’s too god damn nosey for his own good sometimes. You don’t have to answer his lame ass questions.”
I shake my head.
“No, it’s fine, babe, honestly. I…lost my V-card to Remy, when I was seventeen.”
They all laugh and whoop at my admission.
“Wow! Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome looks like he has some stamina? Am I right? Marks out of ten? I want all the gory details, babe!”
Joel sucks his drink through a straw and bats his eyelashes wickedly. I laugh and wink.
“Definitely nine and a half!”
Our group erupts with raucous laughter.
“Ha! I knew it!” Joel shrieks. “So, why nine and a half and not the full ten?” Joel inquires, as I take a sip of my drink and smirk at the memory.
“Because he kept his socks on!”
Everyone bursts out laughing, and as the night progresses, I feel myself relax around these strangers. I start to think to myself that maybe life here in America won’t be so bad after all.
30
Peyton
I am looking for an exit in the hospital when I hear the sound of heels clicking across the floor of the hospital corridor.
“Peyton?”
I instantly recognise Ruby’s familiar singsong voice, and I spin around. She walks towards me, and I take her in. She is still as beautiful as ever, her long dark hair is glossy and falling down her back. She has quite a prominent bump, and she is wearing a navy polka dot dress, with a pair of Gucci sunglasses perched on top of her head. She narrows her eyes at me, and the look in her eyes undoes me. I shake my head as we take each other in.
“Please don’t hate me, Rubes, I couldn’t bear losing you as well.”
A tear slips down her cheek, and she holds a manicured nail up at me.
“I...Jesus! You could have fucking talked to me, Peyton! Me, your family, the boys, your brother is a policeman, and Seb is ex SAS, for fuck's sake! We would have protected you from that twisted piece of shit! You’re part of my family, you silly bitch! I don’t have a memory within the last twenty years that you aren’t part of, you could have fucking trusted me! I was just a phone call away. But instead, you made everyone think you were dead! How fucking sick and twisted are you?” she shrieks and moves closer to me with her hands on her hips.
She narrows her eyes at me, and I shake my head. I’m seriously tired of people making assumptions about the reason why I stayed away.
“You of all people, Ruby! You just don’t get it, do you? None of you do! J.D was fucking dangerous! He’s a complete psychopath, pure fucking evil. He wouldn’t have stopped until he had killed us, and I couldn’t risk that! You’re just looking at it through those perfect rose-coloured glasses of yours; life isn't all fucking unicorns shooting rainbows and glitter out of their arses. Get your god damn head out of the fucking clouds! No one so far has asked me why, apart from Brody! No one gives a fuck what he put me through! No one has even bothered asking how I feel, Ruby!”
I try to stay calm, but I feel my resolve slipping, and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep up the facade that everything is going to be fine.
“I know it sounds like I’m a selfish bitch, but I had to keep us safe, me and my son, Ruby! I had a baby! Sam’s baby,” I shout, and her eyes widen as she moves closer to me.
“O-M-F-G! A baby!” She shrieks and throws her arms around me, bouncing us both up and down.
This is the first time in a long time I have felt like I’m truly home. She encases me in her arms and clings tightly to me.
“Rubes...babe, I can’t breathe!”
She pulls away from our embrace.
“Fuck me running, babe, I’m an Aunty!” She whispers, and she takes me in.
“You skinny bitch, you’re looking good, babe. I love the hair, it suits you.”
She grins wi
dely, and her infectious grin makes me smile too. She makes it impossible to stay mad at her. It feels like I haven’t smiled properly in such a long time.
“Thanks, and you look like you’ve swallowed a melon!”
She narrows her eyes and strokes her stomach.
“Bitch!” she quips, and we both laugh.
“God, I’ve missed you so bloody much, babe.”
She crushes me to her, and the familiar scent of her perfume instantly soothes me.
“I’ve missed you too, like you wouldn't believe.”
