by Amiee Louise
“Ok...yeah an hour...that’s...cool. I’ll see you in a little while, angel, bye.”
He hangs up the phone and doesn’t wait for me to say goodbye. I put my phone down on the bed, wondering what the fuck I just agreed to. Remy comes out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, his long dark hair damp from his shower. He goes over to his bed, which is next to mine, and starts to pull some clean clothes out of his bag.
“You look a little green around the gills there, beaut. What’s up? Did Freddie do one of those massive shits that stinks like sprouts?”
I laugh at his joke and shake my head.
“I wish it was something that simple and trivial, babe. That was Sam on the phone.”
He cocks his eyebrow.
“Oh ok, how did he get your number?”
Curiosity getting the better of him. I get to my feet and start pacing the room.
“He’s Sam Newbolt, Rem. Everything has a price.”
He shakes his head, and a frown line jumps into place in between his eyebrows.
“There’s fucking laws against that sort of thing. It’s an invasion of your privacy,” he grits out and brushes my arm.
“He’s sending a car for Freddie and me.”
He nods and puffs out his cheeks in exasperation.
“Oh, right ok, and you just agreed like the dutiful little woman? I thought you were stronger than that, beaut.”
My eyes widen at his obvious and unnecessary possessiveness.
“How fucking dare you, Rem! He’s Freddie’s dad, I’ve punished him enough!”
I get up and storm past him, but he grabs my arm.
“Punished him? Unbelievable! You stayed away because you were protecting you and your son, Peyton. You didn’t stay away because you wanted to; it was because you had no other fucking choice!” he grits out. “When are you going to tell him the fucking truth?” he snaps and runs his hands through his long damp hair as I scrub my hand down my face.
I know he’s one thousand per cent right. He has a right to know what I’ve been hiding from him all this time. All of a sudden, the fight is drained from me.
“Just don’t, Rem. I can't, not now; it’s not the right time. I’ll tell him soon.”
He sighs and let’s go of my arm, holding his hands up defensively. I step past him, grab some clean clothes, and go into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I strip off my clothes and step into the walk-in shower cubicle. I turn on the shower and let the scalding hot water sting my skin as I sink down to the floor of the cubicle. I pull my knees up to my chest, and I let myself get lost in the thoughts of what has been, what could have been, and what the future could be. I can’t stop myself from thinking how different this past year would have been if only I would have allowed myself to pick up the phone and let Sam explain. I was so in love with him, I should have believed his word over J.D’s.
I finish my shower, and I wipe the condensation from the mirror to look at my reflection. I don’t recognise the young, skittish, vulnerable, woman with the haunted, hollow blue eyes staring back at me. My appearance is so different. I decide then and there that I am going back to my natural hair colour, maybe then I’ll start to feel more like Peyton Leigh Harper, the girl I left behind a year ago.
I step out of the bathroom with my short red hair styled in short, tousled waves, my usual natural makeup applied and I am dressed in a red and white striped racer back vest, a pair of black skinny jeans, and black Converse trainers. I finish my look off with a black cardigan and a pair of simple silver hoop earrings. I emerge from the bathroom, and Remy greets me with a warm smile.
“Looking good as always, beaut.”
He hands Freddie to me, freshly changed and dressed in a pair of jeans, black Converse trainers and a Batman t-shirt. He looks adorable, and his face lights up as he sees me. I can’t help myself from smiling at how much he looks like Sam. I take him and cuddle him.
“Are you ready to meet your daddy, baby boy?” I coo, and he giggles.
I sit down on the bed next to Remy and check my phone. I have a text message from Sam.
Cole is outside the hotel, angel
Whenever you’re ready, he’s waiting
See you soon
S x
I put my phone down, and Remy looks at me with a worried look on his face. His eyes are sad and pained.
“Are you sure you want to do this, beaut?”
I stroke Remy’s cheek and smile softly at him. I know this is hard for him, after all, he has been the one who has looked after us both for the past year. He took care of us, gave us a home, found me a job, and was my rock through the times I needed him the most.
“It’s going to be alright, Rem, I promise.”
His eyes glaze over, and he scrubs his hands down his face.
“I should be the one reassuring you, but the selfish part of me is telling me that I can’t lose you, beaut. You and this little superstar here have made me feel whole and alive again.”
I shake my head.
“You’re not going to lose us, Rem, I’ll take him to meet Sam, and I’ll be back later, I promise. We can veg out in front of the T.V and take advantage of trashy American sitcoms. We can even think about packing up and going back home; New York kind of sucks!”
He chuckles softly.
“Sounds like a plan. I did warn you New York smelled badly and was full of rude people, but no one ever listens to the cripple!”
He laughs, and I roll my eyes at his bad taste joke. We both stand up, and he kisses me on my forehead; I strap Freddie into his carrycot, grab his changing bag, my bag, and my phone. When I'm satisfied I have everything I need, Remy pulls me in for a hug.
“I’ll be back later, love ya, Rem.”
I blow him a kiss, and he winks.
“Right back at ya, beautiful.”
As I leave the hotel room with Freddie in his carrycot, I start to think of the enormity of this moment and what life would have been like if none of this would have happened. I can’t allow myself to dwell on what could have been and focus on what could be in the not so distant future. That will have to be enough. For now.
I make my way to the opulent lobby of the hotel, with its red and gold decor, high ceilings and decadent marble floor. As I look up, I see Cole standing to the side of the hotel's glass entrance with his hands behind his back. He looks professional as ever, wearing a black suit, black shirt, black tie, black shoes, and a black trilby hat. He nods as he sees me.
“Peyton.”
His deep rumbling voice greets me with no emotion at all. He gestures for me to step outside ahead of him and he follows. He opens the door of a black Mercedes CLK with tinted windows, which is parked at the kerb. I climb into the back with Freddie in his carrycot and manoeuvre the seatbelt to strap him securely in the back seat. Cole climbs into the driver’s seat and pulls into the New York City traffic like a pro.
“He’s a little cutie,” he says in his familiar baritone voice.
“His name is Freddie.”
Cole’s eyes find mine in the interior mirror of the car, and he smiles softly.
“I don’t condone what you did, but I totally understand, sugar. I couldn’t imagine my life without Amy and Addison. I would kill for them. I would lay down my life and sacrifice myself for them. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my girls. I get that that’s what you did to protect your son. I’m not going to pretend I know what you went through, what that loathsome, warped man did to you, but I don’t hate you, far from it. I get that everyone’s angry with you, but they have to accept it and move on, sugar.”
My eyes glaze over at Cole’s words. He’s never been this open and candid with me before. He’s a dad too, so it warms my heart and gives me hope that in the future there could be a happy ending for us.
“You gave birth to your kid, probably alone, and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that’s been on you, sugar. I admire you; no woman should give birth without the man they love by the
ir side. I would have moved mountains to get to Amy when she was in labour. Sam made sure I got there in time, and I’ll be forever grateful to him for that, but he needs to cut you some slack. He can be stubborn and pig-headed, as you know. But if it helps, sugar, I’ll talk to him. He usually listens to me.”
He catches my eye in the interior mirror again and winks. I smile softly at him, swallowing back the lump that is forming in my throat.
“Thank you so much, Cole.”
He moves his focus back to the road.
“I’m a father, I understand more than most. If you ever need to chat, anytime at all, sugar, I’m here. You’ll get no judgement from me.”
I am humbled and shocked at his kind words. I settle back in my seat, and we are silent for the rest of the journey. I am staring out of the window, and I suddenly feel nervous at seeing Sam again.
“We’re here, sugar.”
Cole’s deep baritone voice cuts through my thoughts, and I look out of the window at our surroundings as we pull up to the kerb. From the outside, the building is a low rise, with only seven or eight floors and surrounded by trees. It looks like a little piece of heaven amongst the hustle and bustle of New York City. Cole comes around to my side of the car and opens the door. I get out of the car and Cole reaches in to unstrap Freddie’s carrycot. He lifts him easily out of the car, and I follow him into the building. The lobby is a large, open space, with light marble floors. On the walk inside, Cole explains that the building is manned by a twenty-four-hour concierge. The man on the concierge desk is a tall, thin gentleman with grey hair, a greying beard and black-rimmed glasses. He looks up from his newspaper as Cole and I enter the lobby. Cole tips his hat and the man smiles brightly.
“Good evening, Mr. Benedict,” he says in an upper-crust English accent and Cole nods.
“Evening, Mr Grayson. This is Miss Harper, she’s Mr Newbolt’s guest. If you could add her to the list of people authorised to enter the building and have unlimited access to Mr. Newbolt’s penthouse, that would be very much appreciated.”
Mr. Grayson nods in response and starts tapping on his computer keyboard.
“Certainly, Mr. Benedict, I’ll take care of that right away. I hope you both enjoy your evening.”
Cole presses the call button for the lift, and we step in. Cole presses the button marked ‘PH. Typical Sam opting for the penthouse. The lift stops as we reach Sam’s floor and I step out into the bright foyer. It has a large oval window and an exotic potted plant in the corner of the light grey marble floor. Cole scans his fingerprint and opens the large white oak door with a key card. He winks reassuringly and hands Freddie to me.
“Good luck, sugar.”
I smile at his encouragement.
“Thanks, Cole.”
I step into the penthouse loft, and it looks like something out of an episode of MTV Cribs. The living area is an expansive open space, with floor to ceiling windows that showcase the impressive New York skyline. It is decorated in a nautical theme, its signature colours red, white and blue, which is a stark contrast to his penthouse in Greenwich. The carpet is navy blue, and the white leather U shaped sofa dominates the space. In front of the sofa is a large flat screen TV mounted above the white marble fireplace, which is where Sam is standing, with his back to the room. His broad shoulders make him look huge. He is wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to showcase his tattoos, and a pair of loose ripped jeans, which hang low on his hips. His feet are bare, and his black hair is perfectly mussed. He is leaning on the fireplace, which has an assortment of various award statuettes adorning the mantelpiece. He has a glass of dark amber liquid in front of him. I am not sure whether he knows I am here, so I clear my throat to get his attention.
“Angel,” he rasps, as he turns around.
His eyes lock with his son for the first time. Freddie meet your daddy.
33
Sam
I drop to my knees as I set eyes on the little boy in the carrycot she is holding, and I can’t find my breath. He has tufts of thick black hair, wide, inquisitive green eyes… my eyes. He has Peyton’s button nose, but he is my double; from the deep dimples in his chubby cheeks, to the infamous Newbolt grin.
Fuck me.
I can’t take my eyes off him; he is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. I am in awe of him as Peyton moves closer to me and sinks down to the floor next to me. She unstraps him from his carrycot as I remove my sling. She takes him out and hands my son to me. As I take him in my arms, I am instantly in love. Suddenly, my heart feels almost too big for my chest, I’m so overwhelmed by this tiny human and the feelings he has evoked in me. I swallow back the lump in my throat before I can speak.
“Hey Freddie, I’m your daddy,” I say gruffly, and he giggles, the sound warming my heart.
Peyton softly grips my bicep and, I turn to look at her; I can’t stop smiling. The smile she gives in return is genuine, and my heart slams against my ribcage. This extraordinary woman in front of me brings me to my fucking knees. She unmans me with those beautiful baby blue eyes. She cripples me, by just being her. Peyton Leigh Harper. My Peyton. She has the ability to see into my soul, she sees the real me. She sees the real Samson Newbolt. She reaches to the depths of my very core. She fucking owns me, even after all this time. I’m reduced to a whimpering, love-struck sap every time she is within touching distance. As I’m sat on the floor of my New York loft, with my baby son in my arms, I am instantly transported back to the day Peyton told me she was pregnant.
***
Eighteen Months Ago
I have been on tour with the boys for the past three months, and I have missed Peyton so much. We have been on a European tour, and I came back ahead of the boys to surprise her. I showed up outside her flat on my Harley Davidson Sportster Iron 883, and in the two months since I last saw her, she looks even more beautiful. Her long, dark hair cascades down her back, and she is wearing a purple polka dot dress, which accentuates her luscious curves. She looks stunning, and the look in her eyes is one of love. If I wasn’t already in love with her, I would have fallen right there in that moment.
She goes back to my place with Cole, and I follow on my bike. I can’t wait to get her alone and naked, I have missed the feel of her pressed against me. The long, lonely nights spent on the bus with Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters doing the five-knuckle shuffle is no match for the feel of the soft flesh of the woman I love more than life itself. I arrive back to the apartment, and instead of waiting for the lift, I take the stairs two at a time, because I am so eager to be with my girl after all this time. I throw open the door, and I instantly know something is wrong as Cole is sat on his haunches in front of her with a look of apprehension on his face. I stride across the apartment purposefully, and Cole moves out of the way. I take his place in front of her. She looks pale and exhausted.
“Angel, is everything ok?”
She sighs, and goes to rise from the sofa, but falls back down.
“Jesus, angel.”
She looks at me, and her blue eyes look troubled. I can’t help but be curious as to what made her look that way.
“I’m just exhausted, babe, that’s all. It’s been nonstop at the shop lately.”
She smiles to reassure me, but something in the tone of her voice makes me think she’s lying to me.
“I’m taking you to our room, babe; you look like you could use a lie-down.”
She cups my face in her hands, and I lean into her touch.
“I’m fine, babe, I promise, I just need you to hold me for a while. I’ve missed you.”
I smile and nod as I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. I set her down on her feet, and I move her so I can look at her properly. My green eyes meet her tired blue ones.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
My voice is barely a whisper as I stroke her face and tuck an errant strand of her hair behind her ear.
“I have a surprise for you, angel.”
She raises he
r eyebrows, and I smirk mischievously. I have been waiting almost two months to show her the lasting mark I got on my chest. We both stand facing each other, and I strip off my t-shirt. She licks her lips as I reveal my naked torso, and I chuckle at her reaction.
“Don’t get any ideas, angel,” I rasp and throw my t-shirt on the bed and look at her. “Do you see that?”
I point to a spot above my right pectoral and there, in bold, flowing script, is a tattoo of her name, ‘Peyton’, with two elaborate black and grey angel wings either side. The day we flew out to Europe I made a last-minute stop to Saint Sinner Ink, to get Seb to tattoo me, as a surprise for her upon my return.
“That’s how much I love you, angel. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You’re my good luck charm, my angel; you’re my life, my whole world. You own me.”
