A Fluid State

by Rob Browatzke

  Andrew’s hand slid off Patrick’s cock and into his ass crack, while he kissed his way back up to the pillows, burying his face in Patrick’s neck. Patrick’s ass was squeezing around Andrew’s fingers as Andrew’s thumb grazed his hole. Andrew’s cock was hard and pressed against Patrick’s cheek

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Andrew said, the words falling softly into Patrick’s ear.

  “I want you to fuck me,” Patrick said.

  Andrew froze. “Are you sure?”

  Patrick let out a deep breath. “Your mouth feels so good down there. I can only imagine anything else would feel even better.”

  “I didn’t bring any-”

  “I did,” Patrick said. He shifted away to open a drawer in his nightstand. He pulled out a box of condoms and a tube of lube.

  “This will work?”

  Andrew nodded. Was this really about to happen? “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Please. Want to feel you in me.”

  Andrew took a deep breath and reached for the items in Patrick’s hand.

  PATRICK

  This was really going to happen, he realized. He was really going to let another man fuck him in the ass.

  More, he wanted it to happen.

  Andrew was kneeling on the mattress, his hand around his dick. A dick that was about to be inside Patrick.

  “You’ll go slow?”

  “Yes.”

  “And stop if I ask?”

  “Of course.”

  He looked at Andrew’s dick. It was beautiful, and he loved how it felt in his mouth, but damn, it looked big. “Where do you tuck that exactly?” Now why had he asked that.

  Andrew smiled. “Do you want to talk or...?”

  “I don’t want to talk.” Patrick reached out and ran his fingers down Andrew’s torso, before wrapping around Andrew’s hand, which was wrapped around his dick. “I want this.”

  Andrew growled again. God, that growl was sexy.

  “Lie down flat,” Andrew said.

  Patrick took a deep breath and rolled onto his stomach. He wanted to look back at Andrew, see what he was doing, know when he was about to go in, but when Andrew’s lips touched the back of his neck, Patrick just let his face sink into the pillow.

  Andrew was sitting on him, his shins across Patrick’s thighs, and Patrick could feel Andrew’s cock hard and rubbing over his ass. Andrew kissed his way down Patrick’s spine, and then his tongue was on Patrick’s hole, and Patrick moaned and arched his back. Fear and doubt and hesitation faded; he wanted Andrew in him.

  Andrew was simultaneously massaging Patrick’s ass cheeks and licking Patrick seemingly everywhere. Andrew’s breath on Patrick’s hole was warm and sent a shiver down him. Then Andrew leaned in and nuzzled Patrick’s neck.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Patrick heard the rustle of the wrapper, the click of the lid of lubricant. All the while, there was always a hand or a mouth or something on him. He could feel Andrew’s finger, wet with lube, circle his hole, and then slowly slide in.

  He gasped.

  “Okay?”

  Patrick nodded.

  Andrew kissed his way back down Patrick’s spine, kissed one cheek, then the other, and that finger inside Patrick kept moving, slowly. Andrew shuffled onto his knees again, and pulled the finger out. Patrick reached back, looked back, needing, wanting. He could see Andrew on his knees, his hard cock sheathed in latex and glistening with lube. He was beautiful and this was going to happen.

  Their eyes met, and Andrew smiled. Patrick let out a deep breath and turned back into the pillow. He felt the tip of Andrew’s cock on his hole. He grunted.

  “It’s not even in yet,” Andrew said.

  Patrick looked back at him with a grin. “It’s cold.”

  Andrew shrugged playfully and then pushed in. It was not like anything he would have expected. The stretch was new, but not really painful. Deeper and deeper into him, Andrew went. Patrick took a deep breath and relaxed his grip on the mattress, a grip he hadn’t even noticed taking.

  “How are you?”

  “Good.” Patrick didn’t recognize his own voice. He was being fucked by another man. It was unbelievable. But that man was Andrew, and that made it... unbelievable!

  Andrew thrust a bit, just a brief in and out and in and out, and then still kept sliding in. There was so much of it, of him! Andrew’s hand was on the side of Patrick’s head, bracing himself. Patrick kissed the wrist lightly.

  “I’m in,” Andrew whispered above him. “That’s all of me.”

  Patrick closed his eyes and tried to capture the sensation of the moment, with Andrew filling him. Andrew began to thrust again, slowly at first. The feeling of Andrew’s cock pulling out, it was almost panic. Patrick didn’t want to not feel Andrew in him. The in-thrust though, that was different. Wonderful. He noticed his cock, which had gone soft, was throbbing against the mattress.

  “Fuck me.”

  Andrew lay down, his body pressed up tight against Patrick, his cock filling Patrick’s ass. Andrew kissed the back of Patrick’s neck, then pushed himself up. He started pumping, and Patrick found himself gripping the pillow, trying to muffle the moans escaping him with every thrust.

  “You’re so fuckin tight. Does it feel good?”

  “Yes.”

  Patrick knew what it felt like, fucking something tight. That he was making Andrew feel that good, that made him even hotter. He pushed his ass back against Andrew’s cock.

  “Like this?” Andrew asked, and he pulled Patrick up by the hips, so Patrick was on all fours, bracing himself against the mattress, and Andrew suddenly lost any restraint. He pounded into Patrick from behind.

  “So good,” Patrick gasped. “I had no idea.”

  Andrew reached around and took hold of Patrick’s dick. “You really like it, hey? He stroked in time with his thrusts.

  “I do.”

  Andrew ran his hand slowly up Patrick’s back, rubbing across his buzzcut. “You’re so beautiful.”

  He could feel his jizz rising up his shaft. “Gonna make me cum.”

  “Yah? Want to feel you shoot while I’m inside you.” Andrew began to stroke faster even as his thrusting slowed down.

  “Faster. Fuck me faster.”

  “”Ready for that?”

  “So ready.”

  Andrew let go of Patrick’s cock and his hands were on Patrick’s hips again, and suddenly Patrick was getting slammed. His whole body bounced every time Andrew drove his cock in. Patrick grabbed his own and stroked it.

  “Not gonna last much longer,” Andrew said.

  “Me neither.”

  “Cum.”

  That was all Patrick needed. His body buckled as he shot all over his fist. Spurt after spurt, and Andrew was thrusting against him, and fuck, he could see stars.

  Andrew pulled out and flipped Patrick over, whipping off the condom and scooping up Patrick’s load. He used it on himself. Still out of breath, Patrick reached out, one hand on Andrew’s balls, the other running down his chest. His eyes were locked with Andrew’s, those gorgeous green eyes staring down at him, and then Andrew closed his eyes and Patrick felt him jerk, glancing down in time to see the first spurt.

  That had been in him, he thought. His ass had been filled with that giant cock.

  Andrew collapsed on top of him, his mouth working its way across Patrick’s collar bone, up his neck, to his mouth.

  “That was...” Andrew trailed off.

  “So good? So hot? So perfect?”

  Andrew smiled at him. “So modest. But so right.”

  It was so right. That’s what it was. He’d had good sex before; he’d had good orgasms. This had been so different. Andrew inside him, it was like nothing he had ever experienced. Even now, there was this empty feeling where Andrew had been. He wanted more.

  They showered off, their hands never leaving the other’s body. Patrick knew it wouldn’t take much for him to get hard again, even after so intense
an orgasm. What was it about this man?

  “You’re staying over, of course,” Patrick said, as they towelled each other off.

  “Of course.”

  They changed the sheets, their eyes still just drinking in each other. They had fucked. It hadn’t just been a fuck though. Patrick knew that.

  When they crawled under a fresh sheet, Patrick asked, “So if you’re the top, does that mean you get to be big spoon too?”

  “Not necessarily,” Andrew said with a smile, rolling onto his side, facing away from Patrick.

  Patrick wrapped his arm around him, their legs intertwining. Patrick nuzzled his neck, kissing his ear, his jawline. “Remember the other night?”

  “Which other night?”

  “When you said that thing?”

  Andrew groaned. “Are you really bringing that up?”

  Patrick laughed. “Yes. I am.”

  “Why? I was drunk. We’ve been through this.”

  “I know, but hear me out.” Andrew rolled onto his back, letting out a little sigh. “It’s something you never should say when you’re drunk.”

  “I know, I...”

  “Let me finish. Or when you’re fucking. That’s the two times you should never say it, for the first time anyway.”

  “Agreed. Totally. Can we forget it now?”

  “Nope.” Patrick smiled and lowered his lips to Andrew’s. “I’m not drunk now,” he said, “and we’re done fucking. So now I can say it.”

  Andrew tensed. “What?”

  “I think I love you.” The words just happened. “No. I know I do.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Andrew smiled. “Good.” He rolled back onto his side.

  “Uhm... aren’t you going to say anything back?”

  “Sorry. Sorry.” He rolled over in Patrick’s arms and kissed him on the nose. “Good night.” He rolled back over.

  “Hey!”

  Andrew started to laugh and rolled around once again. “Fine. I think I love you too. There. We’re even. Happy now, you big baby?”

  “Happy is definitely the word.” Patrick leaned in and took Andrew’s lower lip in his mouth and nipped it. Andrew yelped and pulled away. “Next time don’t take so long.”

  “What makes you think there’s going to be a next time?”

  “Oh, am I just a one-night stand?”

  “No. Anything but that.”

  “Good.”

  “Patrick, I...”

  “I know,” he said, because he did. “Me too.”

  §

  The rest of the weekend was a delirious blur. Again, something had changed in their relationship, Patrick felt. And not just because he’d been fucked, which he still couldn’t believe had happened. Andrew had been in him, every inch of that big dick, and it had been fuckin’ glorious. Which just proved what Andrew said, sometimes taking a dick is the most manly thing you can do.

  There was still one thing that needed to happen though, before things could really be considered to be official. He had to sit down with Christy and tell her. The closer it got to her getting home from camping, the more nervous he got, which Andrew didn’t miss. Andrew didn’t miss much; how could he possibly know Patrick so well so fast?

  “She’s going to be fine with it,” Andrew said, over backyard beers the night before she got home.

  “I hope.”

  “She loves the Torch.”

  “Partying at the gay bar is one thing. This is somewhat different.”

  “I just think you’re worrying over nothing, but then again, it’s not my coming out.”

  Patrick smiled. “Fuck, that’s actually crazy. How am I having a coming out? What did you do to me?”

  Andrew shrugged. “We recruit. Haven’t you heard?”

  “Just like the army?”

  “Maybe you’re just suggestible.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Good to know.”

  “Use your powers for good,” Patrick said. “We’ve had this conversation.”

  “Oh, it will be good.”

  Patrick laughed, and reached across the gap between them to take Andrew’s hand. “You did it again,” he said. “I was anxious, and I didn’t even say anything, but you knew, and you fixed it.”

  “I told you when I first met you that you’re easy to read.”

  “God, that first time. I didn’t even know what was happening to my life. Coming home, seeing Peter dressing how he was, and hanging out with a drag queen.”

  “And now look at you.” Andrew lifted Patrick’s hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles.

  “Gross.”

  Their heads turned as one to see Peter coming out to join them, phone in hand of course.

  “I’m surprised you took your eyes off your phone long enough to see anything,” Patrick said, sliding his hand out of Andrew’s.

  “I’m waiting for Britney to text me back.”

  “You’re always waiting for Britney to text you,” Andrew pointed out.

  “If Mom can have a boyfriend, and Dad can have a boyfriend, I can have a girlfriend.”

  Andrew caught Patrick’s eye. “He’s a smart kid.”

  “Too smart,” Patrick said, with a soft laugh. “Hey champ, sit down for a second, okay? And put the phone away.”

  Peter sighed, but did. “What?”

  “I wanted to ask you something. I think I’m going to tell your Mom tomorrow. About me. And Andrew.”

  “Oh.”

  “Is that okay?”

  Peter shrugged. “Yes.”

  “How do you think she’ll react?”

  “She doesn’t have a problem with gay people.”

  “Even when that’s your Dad?”

  “Probably not. Hey, can Britney come to see Bob with us?”

  “We’re we done talking about this then?”

  “Yes. Can she?”

  Patrick could see Andrew trying not to laugh. “Ask her mom.”

  “Her mom won’t care.”

  “Ask her.”

  “Fine.” Peter stood up, already texting. “Can I go?”

  Patrick sighed. “I guess.” Peter headed back into the house. “Thanks for the chat,” Patrick called after him.

  “He’s got it bad,” Andrew said.

  “First crush.”

  “Do you remember yours?”

  “God, no, not really.”

  “Liar. Everyone remembers.”

  “Who was yours then?”

  “Stacey Edwards.”

  “He sounds femme.”

  “Very funny. She was cute. A redhead.”

  “I didn’t know you ever went that way.”

  “I was eight,” Andrew said drily. “Weirdly enough, she’s a lesbian now.”

  “So you turned her like you turned me.”

  “Well, not quite the same way.” Andrew leaned over and lightly brushed his lips over Patrick. Patrick closed his eyes.

  “God, get a room.”

  Peter was standing on the deck again. “She can come.”

  “I’ll get tickets tomorrow.”

  “Meet and greet?”

  “Yes, Peter.”

  “Okay thanks. Go back to kissing now!” He ran back inside and closed the patio door behind him.

  “Why don’t we listen to the boy?” Andrew said.

  Patrick took Andrew’s chin in his hand and held him steady. He hadn’t intended to fall in love, much less with a man, but there was no denying it: in love he was.

  §

  The phone rang Sunday afternoon and when he saw her name on the display, he took a deep breath. “Hi,” he said. “How was the trip?”

  “So good. Glad to be back in my own bed though. What time should I come get Peter?”

  “Actually, can we get together first? I want to talk to you.”

  “That sounds ominous.”

  “It’s not. Really, it’s not. But it is important.”

  “Who’s going to watch Peter?”

 
“I can get Andrew to.”

  Andrew looked at him, and raised an eyebrow. ‘Watch Peter’, Patrick mouthed. Andrew nodded.

  “He can.”

  “Oh, you’re with him right now?”

  “Yes. He’s over here hanging out.”

  ‘Hanging out?’ Andrew mouthed, punching his shoulder.

  Patrick shrugged and mouthed ‘ow’. “So can we meet up?”

  “Where?”

  “John’s Republic? Maybe a drink is in order.”

  “Patrick, you’re worrying me. Everything is fine with Peter?”

  “Yes, everything is fine with Peter. We might need to break his other arm to get him off his phone but he’s fine.”

  “Okay, well, how about, we don’t break his arm, and we just have that drink instead? Five?”

  “Sounds good.”

  He hung up. “Well, here it goes.”

  “You’ll be fine,” Andrew said. “It will be fine.”

  “What if it’s not?”

  “What if it’s not?” His expression, previously confident, clouded over with worry.

  Patrick thought about that. What if Christy reacted badly? Did it make a difference? Would he stop seeing Andrew? No. Any problems, they’d have to deal with, but Andrew was great with Peter, and at the end, that was all Christy should care about.

  “If it’s not, it’s not. You’re not going anywhere though.”

  Andrew smiled. “Obviously. You’ll never find another Andrew as good as me.”

  ANDREW

  This was bliss.

  He was just lying there, in Patrick’s arms, watching TV. It was simple and common and absolutely divine.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this with someone. Surely at some point he had, but long ago and far away. This was a happiness that radiated out of his chest and warmed his extremities.

  (We’re happy when they applaud)

  (You are)

  Ann had her moments, sure, but this, this was totally Andrew.

  Briefly, he worried about what would happen if Christy reacted badly to the news. He’d seen it happen before, people who were very vocally pro-gay suddenly vector shift when it was someone directly connected to their own lives. Maybe that would be Christy. Maybe dancing at the Torch with her straight girlfriends and yaaaaaaassss’ing with the queens didn’t mean she would be fine with her ex-husband and the father of her child suddenly being in a relationship with a man.