Truth is, there was none of that. No one looked at me as if I was out of place, in fact, they all just carried about their business.
I walked up to the imposing doors with no difficulty or questioning and knocked on it. The lump was firmly wedged in my throat now. I know not all Alphas are sadistic and cold, that is my own perception clouded by my experiences with Daniel. A strong commanding voice beckons me in and I swallow trying my best to feel at ease.
Get it together Hope! you are literally walking in, handing a file over, then walking right back out. No need to be a wimp about nothing.
As confidently as I can, I walk in and close the door behind me. I see a slight twitch of the eyebrow, most likely in curiosity. After all, one doesn't simply come here without reason on a regular basis.
I step forward and lightly bow my head before looking back up "Good morning Alpha Maximus, I was asked by Carter to drop this off at your office". I wave the folder and wonder if I can just leave it on the desk and go. That would probably seem rude though.
I see Maximus shift his weight back, his large leather office chair reclining just a bit. His elbow resting on the arm and the other tapping against the desk. "I understand. Did he say why he wanted you to do it?" I tilt my head a little confused by the question and not having expected it.
I shrug but still answer "Not really, I'm pretty sure it was a coincidence. We ran into each other and he was in a hurry. Asking me seemed convenient". The conclusion I came to seems obvious and it makes me question why he even had to ask.
Maximus silently nods and I see him stand. He truly is a sight to behold, an alluring mix of strength and chiseled beauty. If it wasn't for his serious and intimidating aura he could easily be the heartbreaker type. As he walks my way I quickly catch myself, realizing I had been eyeing him openly.
That could have been so awkward honestly, you'd think I had never seen a handsome man before. If I'm being honest with myself, his looks may be alluring but it's the small moments of kindness and his almost gentle expression on the odd occasion that we end up in a room alone for a few seconds.
Those are the things that really intrigue me. There is more than meets the eye with Maximus and it makes me want to uncover it.
That is an impulse I keep strictly at bay. After all, what I need are peace and anonymity. I can't help it though, each time he gets near me it sends my pulse racing. I can never quite tell what he is thinking or what the expression is behind his piercing eyes.
For just a split second I can feel the shadow of my wolves presence but then it is gone. Standing before me is Alpha Maximus casually studying me before letting out something between a sigh and a chuckle. I chance a look up at him and try my best to not get lost in his eyes.
"Are you happy?" His imposing voice cuts through my thoughts. Instead of speaking I simply blink stupidly, not quite sure how to answer that. He must have sensed as much because he added: "Your position taking care of the library, is it going well?" Of course, that is what he meant. Maximus must think I'm a complete airhead, I definitely would. I have the urge to laugh at myself but only let a soft giggle escape under my breath with a shake of my head hoping to clear it.
"I am really enjoying it, there are so many interesting books that I had never even heard of". I pause briefly to let my eyes meet his so he can see my sincerity "Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity, it has helped me feel more at ease in this new place. I know you had no obligation to do that so...i had been wanting to thank you".
My cheeks are hot and most likely bright red. No matter how awkward it felt to say that, it really had been something I had wanted to do. This may be the best chance I get. His eyes flash momentarily and I can see his jaw tense as if he is biting down.
Did I say something wrong? The part of me that is used to Daniels abuse wants to panic and assume the worst but I calm myself down. There is no need for that and I logically know it. If I overstepped some line then that is fine but I refuse to continue my life just being constantly scared.
Maximus looks away from me before speaking and his voice although tense holds no harshness "Making sure everyone under my care feels safe and content may not necessarily be an obligation but it is the mark of an Alpha that cares about his pack. That, in turn, makes for a stronger pack. That is something that time teaches you".
My mind automatically drifts to Daniel. They may be brothers but they clearly have very different philosophies about the treatment of others.
Perhaps like Maximus, with time Daniel will learn the importance of giving higher priority to the individual pack members well being. Once again I'm struck by how different the White Thorn pack would have been under Maximus.
"I wish all Alphas thought that way". The words slip out of my mouth in a whisper before I even realize it. I can feel my eyes widen, why the hell did I say that?! No matter how low it was I know he heard it. His eyes are back on me and his lips part but before he can say anything, the heavy office doors open behind me.
Maximus stares down whoever just walked in looking incredibly irritated at the interruption. I, on the other hand, take it as my ticket out. Quickly I practically shove the file at him and mutter a goodbye.
As I slip away I notice the person who had so casually waltzed in was David and the look on his face was rather bemused. I childishly stick my tongue out at him before slipping out and hearing his snicker get cut off by the closing of the doors.
Chapter 20
Maximus
I scowl at my Gamma, feeling unreasonably irritated at his timing. Looking at the clock I see he is actually right on time for our meeting. I'm the one who lost track of when he would arrive. Before Hope walked in I had been getting some information together for it.
After she stepped in though, whatever thoughts I had about work had been shoved to the back of my mind. I go and sit at my chair and watch as he sits in the one on the other side of my desk. I try to reign in my annoyance but the stupid knowing smile on his face is not helping in the least.
"You planning on grinning like a moron all day or can we get started?" My voice gruff and short which would normally cause people to shrink away. On David, it only seems to add to his amusement. "Come on man, you know I'm just messing with you. In truth, you're probably glad I came in when I did".
Looking at my lifelong friend, I let out a sigh. David may be a pain in the ass but he is an incredibly perceptive pain in the ass. "Maybe...it doesn't really matter".
David leans back making himself comfortable "You made the decision to keep some distance between you and Hope. Allow her the freedom to get to know the pack. To get to know you. Are you regretting that?"
I think about it for a minute reminding myself of the reasons I had for doing so. I may have my occasional impulsive streak and aggressive tendencies when I know what I want. On the whole, though, I pride myself on being a man, an Alpha, who thinks things through from every possible angle.
I have waited a long time for Hope which is something she isn't even aware of. I made the choice to keep my distance for a reason.
Before, when that meant waiting years while not even being in the same pack, it wasn't easy but I had the patience and conviction to see it through. Now that she is here and I'm so close to what I want...its a very different story.
"I don't regret it. My reasoning is still valid. It doesn't make the wait any easier though. Especially with this feeling that keeps gnawing at me. Like I am missing a piece of the puzzle". I catch a shift in Davids posture and I raise a questioning brow at him.
"When we were staying at the White Thorn pack, something seemed off. I remember what the pack was like under your father but the atmosphere was completely different. I didn't have anything to go on so I just chalked it up to different Alphas bringing their own style. All I can say is they seemed divided and there was definite favoritism going on".
I take in Davids words while I ponder on what could be going on. Normally I would never involve myself in another Alphas business
but in this case, it is vastly different. The White Thorn pack is under my care now specifically because it was being mishandled.
Unfortunately, I have yet to be shown or given all evidence as to what has been going on to cause the near ruin of the pack. There are things that still don't add up quite right.
"The information Daniel was supposed to give you on the packs' dealings, has that been handed over yet?" David shakes his head "I have been requesting it, receiving a little here and there. Even Carter went to speak to both Daniel and your father. He assured us that within the day we would have a full breakdown. That was four days ago".
That is definitely unusual if there is nothing to hide then our requests would be simple. I can't fix a pack when I don't have all the facts.
"By the way, what was the file Hope handed you?" Davids' voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I look over at said folder. "Carter ran out and left it for her to deliver. I hadn't had the chance to look it over yet". Picking it up I flip it open and start to read. This was not what I expected…
Chapter 21
Hope
My heart is still pounding as I make myself comfortable in the library after having taken a detour to the kitchen. I really need to tighten the filter on my brain.
If David hadn't walked in Maximus would have asked what I meant. At that point, what could I say? your brother is a self-centered psychopath who treats people like dirt? I'm sure that would go over well.
I choose to forget about that and instead eat while I skim through a book. A big heavy sci-fi fantasy adventure straight out of the 8o's. Makes you wonder who put this in here and I try to imagine one of the hulking pack warriors secretly devouring page after page of this fantasy epic.
To amuse myself I also imagine them as grown men with a flashlight reading under the covers. Tucking the book away quickly in fear of anyone discovering their guilty pleasure.
Goofing off time is over too quickly since I'm now done eating and it is time to get down to business. I crack my shoulders and get to it.
Carefully writing down each book I come across then finding the correct section they belong in. Some are harder than others, there are books in here so worn and old that you can hardly read the lettering on the cover.
It is precisely one of those books I am holding while on the ladder poised against one of the many bookshelves covering the massive walls. Distractedly I move my left foot to the edge of the ladder causing the balance to shift.
Next thing I know I am falling. For some inexplicably dumb reason, my instinct is to protect the book. I hug it to my chest and ignore, oh I don't know, perhaps protecting my head. I'm anticipating the impact against the floor, my body tensing in response.
Instead of the floor, I fall into arms, the wind getting knocked out of me but it is far better than the hard ground. I don't really know if it's the shock or the adrenaline but I start to laugh out loud.
The old tattered book still clutched in my hands. When I finally get myself to stop laughing I look up realizing I don't even know who caught me. Which then makes me aware that I am still in their arms. My eyes meet furious blue pools that can only belong to Carter.
"Who the fuck falls without trying to cover their head? What good is that book if you smash your skull open to keep it safe? are you stupid?!" Behind the anger in his voice there is worry.
Carter was worried, that's when I realize his breathing is harsh and his eyes wider than I had ever seen them. He must have been coming in for something and had to run in order to catch me in time.
Tears threaten to fall and I don't trust my voice to work without cracking. Carter who I barely know cares enough about me to have panicked at the possibility of me getting seriously hurt.
After these past few years, a small part of me has been closed off to people. A voice in my head likes to torment me, filling words of doubt and hatred. Making me believe that truly good people don't exist unless they can gain something from it.
More than having saved me from injury, its the genuine concern behind his eyes that touches my heart. Without a word I just hug him.
After a second I feel Carter hug me back. He doesn't let go and it takes me a minute to notice I'm still shaking from the shock. Indeed, it is not until I stop shaking that he lets go.
"Are you alright?" Carter asks quietly. I nod my head gingerly "Yeah, just a little shaken I guess. Thank you, Carter". I leave it at a Thank you not knowing how to express that I'm thankful for more than just him catching me. He grabs the book from my hands and sets it aside then tilts my head up to look back at him.
"Books and things can be replaced. A book does not feel pain nor will the loss of the book bring any real pain to anyone. You, on the other hand, can not be replaced and there are people around here who would give anything to make sure you're safe".
I blink tears away and give a weak but sincere smile. It had been so long since others cared about me that in some ways I stopped caring about myself. That is changing and I have to change with it.
Carter is proof that there are still others around me who want the best for me. Somehow I feel closer to Carter now. He is not as aloof as I once thought and I'm grateful for the slow friendship we are forming.
Carter stands and offers a hand to help me up which I take. I am dusting myself off when I notice a strange look on Carters face. I follow his eyes to where he is looking. At some point, my necklace must have slipped out of my shirt.
The words from so long ago echo in my head. No one is ever supposed to see it. "Where did you get that?" Carter asks although his voice sounds distant. Quickly I tuck it back into my shirt. "Sorry, I'm feeling tired now. I'm gonna go rest". Just like that, I slip away.
I know Carter isn't bad, that much is obvious. But, I can't help it. For as long as I can remember I've kept this hidden. I don't even know why I have to keep it a secret just that it's important. Part of me wants to go back and see if Carter knows something about it.
Anything would be more than what I know now. Although I am tempted I resist. Hopefully, he forgets he ever saw it and it can continue to be my special secret.
Thinking about the necklace brings memories of my parents. Besides the occasional dinner, I haven't spent much time with them. I have been so focused on my daily routine that keeps me safe that I haven't ventured out.
I make up my mind to see my parents today and perhaps go into town with my mom. It's been a slightly bizarre day and a trip out would help me feel normal again.
Chapter 22
Carter
I know that pendant. I would know it absolutely anywhere. There's no mistaking it because the same one hangs around my neck, hidden beneath clothes. Tucked safely from view.
It's not some mass produced trinket or something you can just pick up somewhere. No, It's a symbol of a time gone by. Of pain and strife. Of my family. So then why is it hanging around Hopes' neck?
Max and I were friends but we were from different packs. In the years I've possessed this symbol of my people, I have shown it to no one but Max.
With my head whirling I forget my initial task and seek him out. Hope and Max had grown up in the same pack. He's known her since she was a child. No doubt he has to have answers.
My memories from my past are few and fuzzy. I remember my fathers' voice, his eyes. The last night I saw him is blurry as are most of the memories prior. My vivid recollection starts after I woke up in a room.
I was brought in by a she-wolf who found me badly hurt and naked in the woods save for my pendant. Without any clear memories to go by I was healed then taken in by a family and raised as one of their own.
With time I had regained vague bits and pieces but I continue to search for answers. Now there's Hope. I had felt familiarity and a connection. I wrote it off as my instinct to protect our future Luna.
Now, I'm highly doubting that. Knowing Maximus should be in the woods training around this time I make my way out there. I need answers and I hope he can give me some.
C
hapter 23
Maximus
The training session with my enforcers today was exactly what I needed. I'm a warrior at heart, sitting behind a desk is not my natural habitat.
There's a tension that settles into my bones. An ache to fight and connect with the animal within. To bask in testosterone and rage. That need has only intensified lately. My blood boiling for very different reasons.
I needed a good run after the training so I shifted and took off. I kept my mind link open in case something occurred but otherwise let myself run loose and reckless.
I hadn't been away long when I caught the whiff of someone and I instantly know It's Carter. Any of the guys were at least a mile back so he must be looking for me specifically.
Willow From The Ashes (Children Of The Moon Book 1) Page 7
