“RICO!” Diane shouted from behind me. I turned to see her pointing a gun at me, her eyes wide with terror. At me.
“What you’ve —”
Go away, I told Dip.
Diane had thought she knew what I was, but she never really did. So this was good. This was honesty.
“This is like the trolley problem,” I told Diane, “but instead of pulling a lever, you’re going to shoot me. And it’s to put the trolley on a track to kill billions. Just step away, and the better outcome happens.”
She kept her gun pointed at me as she looked at the whimpering Robertson and back at me. Tears welled in her eyes as she lowered the gun. I was a bit surprised; I thought she was someone who could control her emotions while on a mission. Perhaps she was weaker than I thought.
“Watch the elevator,” I told her, and she headed for the door, not looking again at either of us.
“I think you hurt her, Rico,” Dip said. “Deeply.”
I’m not trying to push her away this time, Dip. I have a mission to do, and I’m just not pretending to be something I’m not.
I made sure the door shut behind Diane before I got Robertson to scream again.
CHAPTER 30
I emerged from the vault holding what looked like a small data drive. “We have it. Let’s go,” I told Diane, who took one quick look at me, nodded, and turned away. “Robertson is alive,” I added, if that mattered. She didn’t look at me but nodded again.
Can I fix this? I asked Dip.
“Do you want to?”
“How is our exit?” Diane asked into the radio.
“People are stirring on the ground floor,” Sylvia answered. “Meet me on the tenth floor for the alternate exit.”
“Roger,” I answered. We got into an elevator, and I pressed a button for the tenth floor. After a quick ride, the doors opened, and I was happy not to be blasted with sunlight, as now the cloud cover had blocked the sun. This was another massive lobby area with high ceilings and windows all along the sides that were now being pelted with rain. A number of men and women lounged about — some eating lunch — paying us no attention. “On tenth. Looking for you,” I said as we walked in and looked for Sylvia.
No answer. I took another look at the people in the area. Still not looking at us, but something was discordant here — the appearance of normal but not quite. I glanced at Diane to signal with my eyes for her to be prepared, but she was well ahead of me, one hand near the gun under her coat.
“Hello, Rico,” said a familiar voice.
Ahead of me was a man in a suit standing next to a woman in a white dress. Behind him was another man, who held on to Sylvia. The face of the man who had spoken began to change, fading into a white mask in which I could see two red eyes. I looked around as the faces of the other men and women in the room changed to white masks as well. Surrounded. No one had guns out yet, so I waited.
The face of the woman in the white dress took on that crooked smirk that every Messenger seemed to have. “When we found out where you were going,” she said, “I had the Shade bring me along. When everything comes crashing down for you, Angel of Death, I want to be there to see it.”
I laughed. “You think that’s today?”
“Oh, I’m sure you had plans,” Drav said, his red eyes steady on me. “I know the female you had up here was in charge of different escape routes.”
The Shade operative holding Sylvia plunged a blade into her shoulder. She screamed, and the killer struck her in the head, knocking her to the floor. He stepped on her shoulder while she writhed.
“Now you’re just being mean,” I told Drav, barely looking at what had just happened. I had to hope Diane behind me was keeping her calm as well.
Drav held up a little handheld. “I found this on her as well. I guess you’re down on manpower, but I see she set up some automated guns on top of a nearby building.” He pushed a button on the handheld, and Diane screamed behind me. I turned around, and Diane was on the floor, clutching a wound on her leg and trying to hold back tears to stay present. I quickly checked the severity of the wound. It hadn’t fully cauterized, and blood was starting to seep everywhere. This was another wounding to distract me.
“Your setup on the remote sniper rifle worked,” Drav said to Sylvia, who was struggling to focus through the pain.
“This is just delightful,” the Messenger said, her smug smile almost unbearable. “Do you have another quip for us, Angel of Death? Hey, how many days are left until you said you were going to murder all the Fathom?”
“What do you want from me?” I asked, staying on the floor next to Diane but keeping a bored tone.
“This. This right here is what we want,” the Messenger said. “But I guess there is also the minor issue of the codes we need for locating Mountain Fall.”
I met Diane’s eyes. She subtly slipped a small device into my hand and nodded. She then motioned to Sylvia. Sylvia was still struggling under the foot of a Shade operative, but she briefly met my eyes. I turned to the Messenger. “So if I cooperate, then what?”
“Then we’ll be disappointed,” the Messenger said, “because we really wanted to see what we needed taken from your bleeding, broken body.”
“I’m so done with this stupid game,” I said with a sigh and tossed an object onto the floor between me and the Messenger and Drav. Not the data drive, though — which Drav realized quickly but not quickly enough. What I had thrown between us was a bit like a concussive grenade but made for a very special purpose. All the air in between us exploded outward, knocking everyone standing off their feet. I was already low, though, shielding Diane, and Sylvia was already on the floor, the operative who was on top of her flying backward. Diane’s small red ship jumped into the extremely temporary vacuum between us.
The air had battered me so hard that the Fazium had activated, but I forced myself to lift Diane to her feet as pain ripped through me, one arm around her and my other hand drawing a gun and firing at anyone I saw without a moment’s thought. I could see Sylvia scramble for her handheld, hitting a button on it that caused the remote gun to start firing rapidly into the room, giving even more cover fire.
We stumbled to the ship as the dazed Shade operatives scrambled for cover and tried to return fire, and I caught sight of the Messenger starting to pick herself up off the floor. I put three shots into her and noticed Diane staring at what I had just done before I shoved her into the side door and jumped in myself. Sylvia leaped in through the door on the other side, and I caught a glimpse of Drav’s red eyes on us — and his gun — just as the side doors slammed shut and the ship rocketed forward, smashing through the glass sides of the building and heading up. I scrambled for the controls of the ship, the pain of the Fazium fading, and took manual control as I saw on the sensors that we had enemies in pursuit.
“Strap in!” I yelled. I didn’t know if Sylvia and Diane were functional enough to buckle themselves, but I had to bank steeply just as bolts flew in our direction. One shot shook the ship just as the atmosphere began to thin into the black of space. There were two ships in pursuit, a hail of bolts flying our way as they gained on us. I caught glimpse of the Prodigal in front of us and stayed in evasive maneuvers as I closed in. I had to straighten out our flight path as I approached the Prodigal’s hangar, but I couldn’t fly too straight, as the gunfire threatened to rip apart our rear. We came in at full speed, letting the momentum dampers in the soft airlock jolt us to a quick stop. Gunfire now echoed all around us, as the Prodigal was now the one getting battered.
“Jump!” Diane shouted to her ship’s computer through a transmitter on her wrist. I felt the odd pang of gravity shifting, and then all went quiet. I got out of the driver’s seat and went to look at the two bleeding women in the back.
“You have it?” Sylvia asked as she kept her hand on her right shoulder, which was now completely covered in blood.
“I still have it,” I confirmed.
She smiled weakly. “We won.”
CHAPTER 31
“How are you doing?” I asked Diane as I inspected the bandage on her leg. We had enough supplies in the Prodigal’s medical bay to stop the bleeding, but we’d need to get her to a real medical facility to prevent permanent damage.
“Could I have a blanket?” she requested.
“You’re cold?”
“I don’t have any pants on.”
“We’re all adults here,” I said as I got a blanket from a cabinet and tossed it to her. Sylvia sat nearby. She was down to her bra, with her right shoulder covered in bandages that were still turning red. Neither seemed to concern her.
“We need to make sure we have what we need on that data drive,” Sylvia said.
“Sure. But ...” I looked again at Diane, her eyes expressing many things unspoken. “We need the room alone for a few minutes.”
“There’s no time for whatever stupid drama you have going on,” Sylvia said, annoyed. “We need to make sure we have Mountain Fall.”
I took out the drive and handed it to her. “Why don’t you go look at this and give us a couple minutes?”
Sylvia hurried out of the medical bay, and I shut the door behind her.
“You trust her now?” Diane asked.
I took a seat near Diane. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You gave her the final key for getting Mountain Fall,” Diane said. “How does it not matter? And ... I saw you target the Messenger while we were escaping Guiliv. All the people with guns, and you targeted her.”
There was no point telling her anything now. “Just know this: This is almost over.”
Diane took a deep breath. “Good. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
I could finally read more of her expression. Sadness. “You mean be around me.”
“Not ... not that exactly. I want to help you, Rico, but ...”
“You never really understood what I am,” I said.
She stared long and hard at me. “We always told Eldan the Fathom wouldn’t touch Calipa. Did you believe that?”
It wasn’t just the torture. Other suspicions about me were falling into place.
“I told you I don’t share normal human feelings,” I said, “but I don’t think you ever fully grasped what that means. Nothing touches me. When I have an objective in mind, I can do whatever needs to be done to make it happen, no hesitation. I am a monster, by most definitions of the word. But I’m a monster that is needed right now. When there are billions of lives on the line, you need someone who can make hard choices.”
The sadness faded, replaced by another emotion. “You’re your father’s son.”
The words were like a surprise blow to my abdomen. “I ...” My response was lost in my own thoughts.
I think Diane sensed she had cut deeper than she meant to, and her face softened slightly. “I’m just trying to understand. So you can risk millions of lives, and that doesn’t affect you? A man screaming in pain — screaming about his family — that still means absolutely nothing to you?”
I simply nodded.
“So why do this at all? Why even try to help the universe when whether people live or die is nothing to you?”
It was a fair question. I racked my brain for the best way to explain my answer. “I talk to Dip.”
Diane raised an eyebrow. “Your AI? I thought he was blown up with your ship back on Nar Valdum.”
“Yes, his mainframe was on there. You see, I think I’ve always found Dip easy to talk to because he’s like me in a way — no real feelings, but he can logically work through what’s considered the right thing to do in each situation. Though I’ve seen now that gets complicated very quickly.” I shifted in my seat. This was uncomfortable for some reason, but I continued. “Without him, I have a simple computer in my head with a neural interface that I can access at any time. I guess he downloaded to that — but I don’t think that’s possible. It’s not capable of supporting his software. Still, I’ve been talking to him on that. I ... I don’t think he’s really there, though.” I think I knew that from the beginning, but it was something else entirely to say it out loud. “I don’t do well with people, but I also don’t think I do well alone. So I just needed him — I needed someone — to help guide me. Try to keep me moving forward.”
“Forward?” Diane sat up more. “Do you know what you’re moving away from?”
I took a deep breath and spent a few seconds putting my thoughts together. “Diane, I know you’ve been to some dark places, but I don’t think you have any idea what it’s like to be me. My life has been this complete abyss. Just an infinite black. I didn’t even know it was darkness, though, because I never had anything to contrast it with. And then ...” I saw it again. Diane crying over me as I felt myself dying. That ungraspable something. “It was like one little match was lit in that darkness. Just for a moment. I almost think I imagined it. But now ... now I can see the darkness. All around me. And I can’t ever turn back, because I know all there is in that direction is that infinite black, and ... it terrifies me. So I’m trying to move forward, even though there might just be nothing but darkness ahead of me. But I hope ...”
I looked at Diane. I wasn’t sure what her expression was. Sympathy? Pity? Or are those the same thing? I sat up straight and spoke with my usual voice, much more controlled than whatever that was that had just come out of me. “It hasn’t worked, though. I’ve saved lives. I’ve tried to bring people hope. I did what seemed like the right thing, but it’s meant nothing. And like you said, I’m just like my father: a killer with his rationalizations. At least before, I was more honest. I never claimed to be helping people. I thought this was the best I could be: a weapon to help people. A hero. But I don’t think I’m any different. I’m still just a cold killer, whatever reason I put behind it. Whether I save or spare a life here and there doesn’t make a difference in the end. It all is nothing to me still ... just arbitrary actions.”
Diane took my hand, and her eyes once again stared through me, seeing things no one else did. “The light — what you’re searching for — it’s real. This isn’t a fruitless journey. But you have to get away from this. You’re not going to find what you’re looking for in killing.”
I shrugged. “It’s what I’m good at ... the only thing, really. I’m trying to save the universe from tyranny ... save maybe billions of lives. I don’t know what I could possibly do that is better than that.”
“Nothing is worth your soul,” Diane stated. “Maybe that’s what you’re starting to understand the value of, Rico.”
I stared into her eyes, which stirred in me a number of wants I knew would never be fulfilled. “Okay. You say that. Well, we can just leave this all behind, then. We drop Sylvia off ... and we just leave. Find someplace peaceful away from all of this. It’s a big universe. If you say that’s the thing to do, I will trust you on that and do it. But know one thing: I can end this. I can stop the Fathom with just a little more violence. Let me be the killer I am, and I will end them. Unless you say it’s just not worth the threat to the soul you believe I have.”
Diane’s expression went unreadable again as she considered what I’d said.
“You’re testing her again,” Dip commented. “That’s not kind.”
You’re not even real.
“You’re the one who is fake.”
A few times it looked like Diane was going to say something but stopped. Finally, she just turned her eyes down, away from me. Dip was right. I’d hurt her again.
“I promise you: I will end this,” I said, trying to mend it some with the small lie of a promise I couldn’t be certain to keep.
She gave me a little smile. “I’m going to pray for you, Rico. But I think I need some time away.”
I squeezed her hand. “I think that’s smart. Anyway, this last part I do alone.”
CHAPTER 32
“The codes are here,” Sylvia said as she sat at a terminal in the common room. “It’s all here.” She was now wearing one of Diane’s T-shirts, bandages peeking out at the collar.
I helped Diane hop into the common room and set her down on a chair. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” I said. “You two take this ship to meet Redden at the Vanguard and get some proper medical attention. The red ship is a little banged up but still fine. I’m gonna take that to secure Mountain Fall.”
Sylvia looked incredulous. “By yourself?”
“It’s a one-man job,” I explained. “We’re the only ones who know where it is.”
“Send the info on to Redden,” Sylvia said. “Have him send a team.”
I shook my head. “We’re not transmitting info this crucial. There are too many leaks in your organization. I’ll secure Mountain Fall; then we’ll arrange a handoff straight to Redden and his best people.”
“Redden can’t have signed off on this,” Sylvia said.
“I assure you he has,” I answered. “You may have noticed I have been given a lot of leeway.”
Sylvia was silent for a moment, looking desperate for some way to contradict me. “Is this some plot between you and that Anthony Burke person?”
I’m getting sick of working with a team and having to explain things to them.
“She’s risked her life on your behalf numerous times now,” Dip said. “You owe her more than to be dismissive of her.”
Superego-Fathom Page 26
