With a smile on her face, she begins scrolling through the movie options on my iPad.
When she lands on an over-the-top romance, I’m not surprised. While living and loving four men has a lot of benefits, there’s also a lot of testosterone. And usually, someone insists on an action flick.
The rest of the flight goes by without hitch. Chloe leans into me, her eyes closing every so often as she rests, and we watch a comedy unfold about a woman who can’t seem to find love.
I kiss the top of her head, thinking that Chloe will never have that problem, not at all.
Right now, there’s more than enough love to go around.
– –
Landing here on Oahu, I can tell that Chloe is different than she was when we first got to Tahiti a few months ago.
I remember pulling up at that resort, and Chloe immediately feeling lost on how to interact with us guys in the real world.
But now, after all we’ve been through-- losing the sponsorship, Mason’s accident, and the problems we faced with his family-- Chloe’s more confident in who we are and what we share. When we waited in baggage claim, she held Ethan’s hand, offered a quick kiss to Mason, and told me she loved me when I brought her a latte from Starbucks. When Noah pinched her ass playfully when he passed her, she giggled, not caring who might judge her.
And I’m fucking grateful for her change of heart. My dad’s coming to Oahu for an extended visit, and the last thing I want is for Chloe to tiptoe around what is real. I want my dad to know that I love this woman and accept her for who she is.
When we get to our beachside rental, I watch as Chloe takes in the view.
She sighs, looking out at the blue waves and golden sands of Waikiki. “It’s so beautiful here,” she tells us.
“No, Bella. You’re the real beauty.” I kiss her softly, my hands wrapping around her waist, and we look at the ocean in front of us. The waves crash and the rise and fall of them is soothing.
“Do you think we will stay here long?” she asks.
I don’t answer right away, but the truth is I could stay in this moment forever.
Here with Chloe, our hearts and arms entwined.
But then Mason, Noah, and Ethan join us on the patio and I know it’s only right to step back for a moment and share the woman I love with the guys who I’ve known forever.
I kiss her hand. “I think we will be here a while,” I tell her honestly. “There are some videos we can shoot here. Waikiki has world-class surfing and the North Shore has famous waves. We’ll have a really great time. And besides all that, there’s plenty for you to do. Besides doing the managerial stuff, you can go snorkeling, shopping, and just relax.”
“That sounds nice,” she says. “I’m honestly a little exhausted. Maybe all the traveling we’ve done is finally catching up with me. Once you have the surfing competition finished, we’ll be able to lay low for a while, right?”
“Of course,” I tell her.
“Good,” she says. “Because I’m ready to play.”
I know her words pique Noah, Ethan and Mason’s attention. I raise an eyebrow. “What kinda games?”
She scrunches up her nose, shaking her head. “You boys always have one thing on your mind.”
Noah snorts. “Oh, and you don’t, Mrs. Mile-High-Club?”
She pushes out her bottom lip. “Hey, I didn’t do that this time.”
“Only because it was a commercial plane,” Mason teases.
“Oh, right, because you guys don’t want to have sex on jets, is that it? I’m the only one?” She rolls her eyes playfully. “Honestly, though, who wants to play beach volleyball?” she asks, pointing to the net on the beach. “After flying all day I’m dying to stretch my legs.”
“Sounds good, Bellissima, but you need to put on a bikini for that.”
She smirks, then licks her lips. “Then you gentlemen need to put on Speedos.”
Chapter 45
CHLOE
I don’t want to say out loud what I think it is.
That would make it real.
That will make it inescapable.
And I’m not ready for it.
The guys know I’ve been sick for the past few weeks, thinking it’s a virus I can’t shake, but I know it’s more than that. And today I’m going to face my problem, headlong.
Just as soon as I get out of bed.
“Chloe?” Ethan cracks open my bedroom door. His dark eyes meet mine, and oh, how I love this man. But he’s not the only man I love, which makes it all so confusing.
Someone is gonna get hurt. A lot of someones are gonna get hurt.
We should’ve thought this all through a lot more.
“Good morning, sleepy head.” He sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to kiss my forehead. “You hungry?
I shake my head, my stomach rolling before I even sit up. “Are you guys headed out already?” I ask knowing the guys planned on spending the day scouting out the surfing competition. The big event happens this weekend and they’re ready to go with guns blazing.
“Yeah, Enzo dad’s gonna be flying in this evening, so we want to be done by late afternoon.” Ethan eyes me more closely. We all thought Enzo’s dad, Leo, would come later this fall, but then he called and changed his plans. Still, he seemed concerned about our arrangement and is staying at a hotel. “You sure you’re going to be okay here alone?”
I yawn, nestling against my pillows. “I’m still just really tired.” Squeezing his hand, I add, “I’m good, I promise.”
“If you say so,” he says. “But call us if you need anything.”
“I’ll probably go for a walk later,” I tell him. “I’m just not a morning person.”
Ethan smiles. “We all know that.” Then he kisses me softly on the lips; the simple gesture causing my heart to flutter. “We love you,” he tells me.
“I love you more.”
He leaves my room, shutting the door behind him. I close my eyes, rolling onto my belly and press my face into my pillow. Something hasn’t been right for a while now. Most people wouldn’t understand that considering I have a life a lot of women fantasize about, but just because I’m loved and adored in ways I never thought possible, doesn’t mean everything is perfect.
In fact, right now I’m feeling pretty damn terrified.
The worst part is that I don’t have anyone to talk to about this stuff. My world is pretty damn small, and right now I really wish I had a best friend.
I’ve never been a girl’s girl before. My life has always revolved around survival. Until recently, things, like going to movies or shopping or getting a pedicure with a girlfriend, were so beyond the realm of possibility, that I never considered them. I was plenty busy making sure I didn’t drown; I didn’t have time to play.
But right now, for the first time in forever, I have a bit of cash, time, and freedom but have no one to call.
– –
A few hours later I decide to walk down to the pharmacy, knowing I’ve put it off for long enough. On my way there, I decide to grab an iced coffee.
The morning sun shines down in a perfect way-- everything about this island is just a little too good to be true. I love Honolulu and we’re staying on Waikiki, which happens to be the most glorious beach in the entire world. When I’ve been feeling up to it, I have gone out with the guys to the sandbar or rented a paddle board.
They usually prefer doing things a little more extreme than that, though, so when I haven’t been kneeling beside a toilet, I’ve had a great time soaking up the rays, while they’ve gone around the island shooting raw footage. It’s actually given me time alone to organize the guys’ video release schedule on MeTube and helped make their calendar a bit more useful.
Our days are full, and even though we have the flexibility to slow down a bit, we’re still managing a business. Making sure we’re putting out enough content to create revenue so we can live is a priority.
Thankfully, the guys have created such a solid brand ove
r the last few years that their subscriptions are growing every day, and with each video they upload, there are more viewers. Engagement from fans is through the roof and I can see that they are reinvigorated with their job. Leaving Black Bull was a great decision.
I stop at a coffee stand and order an iced coffee and a blueberry scone. As I am getting a straw for my drink, a woman my age, with pale pink hair, smiles at me.
“Are you from around here?” She reaches for a straw too.
“As of pretty recently. I’m renting a place down the beach for the next few months. We just got in a few weeks ago,” I tell her.
“It’s amazing, right?” she sighs. “I’ve lived here all my life. I went to New York once when I was a kid and hated it. It was so loud and dirty. You know what I mean?” She unwraps her straw and when the barista calls out our drinks, she shoves the straw in her drink haphazardly.
“See you around, Harlow,” the barista says with a crooked smile. “Still on for next Saturday?”
“Yeah, totally,” she answers. “It’s gonna be super chill.”
“Perfect.” The barista turns to take another order, and Harlow waves goodbye to him, seemingly without an extra thought.
She’s one of those girls who are totally nonchalant, in baggy cut-offs and a bikini top. She looks like she lives in the sand and is totally comfortable in her own skin. She waves at a few people who pass us, and it’s clear lots of people in this town know her.
Basically, the complete opposite of me. I have never fit in, and until I met my guys I never belonged anywhere.
“I’m Harlow, by the way,” she tells me.
“I’m Chloe,” I tell her. Then I stick out my hand and we shake. She laughs as we do. Okay, that was awkward. But she doesn’t seem to notice my insecurities.
“So do you work?” she asks.
“Yeah, I help the ... team.”
“Team?”
“Yeah. I live with four guys and they are MeTubers. We travel around and they make videos of their extreme adventures.”
“Wow, sounds super cool.” She raises her eyebrows, impressed. “Do you do extreme sports too?”
I laugh. “No way. I help with their bookkeeping and calendaring. Kind of like a manager.”
“I bet you travel to really cool places. I’m a little jealous. I never go anywhere.”
“What about you?” I ask.
“I take people out on snorkeling trips. It’s a good gig. My parents own the company, so I’ve done it all my life.”
“That’s awesome. I’ve been snorkeling a few times.”
“You should totally come out sometime. Have you been to Hanauma Bay yet?”
“No, I haven’t done any snorkeling in Oahu. I’ve mostly just gone paddle boarding.”
“Oh, you know what?” she says, patting my arm like we’re long lost friends. “You should actually come out next weekend. It’s not for a snorkeling trip but a group of us are all going out on a boat.”
“That sounds fun.” I nod slowly trying to remember if the guys had anything planned this weekend.
“You don’t have to come alone. Why don’t you bring one of the guys that you live with?”
“Yeah, I could totally do that.” I immediately think about which guy I would choose to take out on the boat. And then I immediately wonder how the other guys will feel about that.
Before I can get any more stressed out about the what-if’s, Harlow pulls out her phone and asks for my number.
“I’ll text you all the details. But I think we are leaving around two in the afternoon? It’s usually best to go super early or later in the day.”
“Okay, that sounds really fun.” I laugh nervously, so surprised that this woman has asked me out at all. “And thanks for the invite. I mean, most people aren’t so outgoing. It means a lot.”
“I get it. I mean, I’ve never actually had to move to new place, but I can imagine it can be hard to make connections. Besides, my mother always said the more, the merrier.” She gives me a warm smile, and I return it, thinking she’s exactly right. The more, the merrier has been true in my love life at least.
Harlow and I say our goodbyes, and I walk toward the pharmacy with my iced coffee in hand. Meeting Harlow when I did was actually the perfect thing for me. I needed to get out of my head for a second.
The truth is, I don’t know what the future is going to hold. Obviously. But I do know that I don’t have to be an island. Not when there are so many people wanting to offer me the raft.
–
Later, in the bathroom, I take the test. My hands shake as I wait for the result.
It’s positive.
Chapter 46
ETHAN
Chloe hasn’t been herself for a while now, that much is crystal clear, but I’m hoping she can get out of her head and open up about whatever is bothering her.
Unfortunately, Enzo’s dad arrives at the house the same time the rest of us get home from scouting out the surfing competition, which means no alone time with Chloe.
But I watch her.
I see the way she looks out toward the ocean during dinner, her eyes looking at some distant point that is further away than I can reach.
I see the way she barely touches her food, doesn’t even pick up her glass of wine.
I see the way she excuses herself early, saying she’s exhausted and she looks it. Her eyes are heavy and maybe so is her heart? Something isn’t right.
“I’ll come up with you,” I tell her, pushing my chair out from the table where we are all eating.
She shakes her head. “No, I really want to be alone right now. But thanks, Ethan. And it was so nice meeting you, Leo,” she tells Enzo’s father. “I hope I’ll be more fun tomorrow.”
“The pleasure is all mine, sweetheart. I know I had reservations about this arrangement,” he says, his hands stretching out over the table. “But I see you’re all having the time of your lives. And why should an old man judge?”
I look at Enzo who is listening intently to his father.
“Look,” Leo says. “I should be heading out to my hotel soon anyways. It was a long day of travel.”
Chloe leaves the room, and once she’s upstairs, I exhale. “Something isn’t right,” I say.
Noah frowns. “What do you mean?” He cocks his head toward Leo. “We just dealt with the worst of Chloe’s worries.”
“Which was?” Leo asks.
“Meeting you,” Mason explains. “This relationship isn’t exactly traditional. People have lots of opinions.”
Leo waves a hand in the air before picking up his glass of merlot. “Ehhh, at first when Enzo mentioned this on the phone, I was apprehensive. But now that I’m with you, I realize you’re all so young, enjoying yourselves. It’s not so bad, you know, having fun while you aren’t tied down to anything. Anyone. You’re free to play, the world is your oyster.”
I nearly choke on his words. Because I don’t feel free –– not in the way he means. I am tied down to Chloe, and I think Mason, Enzo, and Noah all agree with me.
“This relationship isn’t just shits and giggles,” I tell Leo. “It’s real,” I tell him what I tell myself, over and over again.
Leo raises his hands. “I’m not here to judge.” Cocking his head to the side he adds, “Though I’m the minority. What you’re talking about here, boys, is a complicated concept. Eventually one of you might outgrow this arrangement ... then what?”
Just then, Chloe reenters the room. Tears are in her eyes and I know she just heard the comments Leo made.
I clench my jaw, having just spent the last few months easing Chloe’s worry about this relationship. The last thing she needs right now is another person doubting the viability.
“Sorry to interrupt, but, um, I was wondering if I might have a word alone with you guys?” She bites her bottom lip and Leo stands from the table.
“Of course, Chloe. I’m heading out anyways.” He stands up from the table and squeezes Chloe’s shoulders. “Sorr
y if I upset you.”
She shakes her head and answers flatly, “It’s fine. You’re a realist.”
“The opposite of my son, Enzo. He took after his mother. He was a romantic, always saw the silver lining and the shooting stars.”
Chloe’s eyes travel to Enzo’s and a flicker of something passes between them. When you choose to be in a relationship like this, there are a thousand looks shared between lovers that you aren’t privy to. Because I am not Chloe’s alone.
And right now, I am grateful for that. Whatever she is holding back, needing to unload, it’s something big. I can see it in her drawn expression.
And I know I’m not strong enough to carry it all for her.
But I don’t have to.
I am not in this by myself.
I have my three best friends to help hold Chloe up when she is about to fall.
I just wonder sometimes if Chloe is strong enough to carry me.
The weight of having four men is a lot, and Chloe has been through hell and back already. She looks exhausted, weary, spent.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that by being here I’m not just adding to her burden.
I want to believe being her partner adds to her life, but as she solemnly sits on the couch, inviting us to do the same, I realize something that is hard to swallow.
I may want to be a dreamer, may have spent my time guiding Chloe toward trusting us with her everything, but deep down I think I’m a realist. Just like Leo, Enzo’s father.
And as a realist, I see this differently than my friends do.
And that fucking terrifies me.
This won’t end well.
Chapter 47
CHLOE
I walked around Waikiki all afternoon thinking things through.
Getting pregnant was not a part of the plan. But that line of thought just brought me to the next, equally important question. What exactly is the plan?
Our Love Story: An MMFMM Romance Page 20
