Unthinkable: (Unstoppable - Book 2) (The Unstoppable Series)

by Danielle Hill

  “I'm sorry.” Liss started speaking, her slim body trembling, and the whole fucking room quieted down to listen as my girl bared her soul for everyone to witness. I almost wanted to stop her. To wrap her up in my arms and just take her away. But I couldn’t fucking move.

  She steeled her shoulders and made fists of her hands. “I wish I hadn't hurt you. I didn't know what else to do. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I'm not here for that. But I need… I need you to know something.”

  My heart stopped beating when her voice broke. Just fucking ceased to function as my body locked up, my windpipe closing. Didn’t matter. I couldn't breathe, anyway.

  “I don't hate you,” Lissa's voice broke as her face crumpled. “I couldn't let you think that. This,” she motioned between us, “it wasn't a lie, Leon. None of it. You made me feel. You made me feel everything.” She shook her head as she breathed, “I wish I could hate you for it.”

  My brow creased, heart thundering back to life with several bangs. Was that why she'd done it?

  “But I can't hate you...” Her blue eyes shone as they held mine. “Because I love you too much, Leon.”

  I couldn't move fucking fast enough. Lissa’s head fell, and then she turned and left the room.

  I jerked out of the seat, stopping long enough to make sure I didn't break Ashley's neck, then I raced after Lissa.

  I made it to the back door when Ren appeared in front of me. “Just hold on a minute, Le.”

  “What?” I demanded, slamming my hands into his chest.

  He rocked back on his feet, and took a step back to steady himself, but he didn’t move aside.

  “Get. The fuck. Out. Of. My. Way,” I seethed, emphasizing every word, and then my head snapped round when a car engine roared to life.

  I pushed my way past him when realization sunk in, running around the corner of the house with Ren following behind me. I made it onto the sidewalk in time to see Lissa's taillights fading into the night sky, and blind fury rocked my vision.

  I swung round, fists shaking by my sides, and advanced on Ren with every intention of fucking mauling him to death.

  “What the fuck was that?” I grated, closing the distance between us, and digging my forehead into his.

  He held up his hands, backing off from any physical engagement as he met my stare and stated calmly, “Ri asked me to do it.”

  I ground my teeth together, nostrils flaring as I strove to keep my shit together.

  Because I love you too much, Leon.

  My shoulders fucking sagged, body with it, and Ren sighed beside me. I closed my eyes and shoved away, planting both hands against the wall as I braced my legs apart and dragged in a deep breath.

  I didn't know what else to do.

  My head fucking pounded as I replayed every word Lissa had said. What the fuck did she mean?

  “Le—”

  “What the fuck's going on, Ren?” I asked without turning to look at him, my head hanging low.

  He gave another deep sigh, moving closer to clamp a hand around my shoulder. “I don't know.”

  I squeezed my eyes closed.

  Because I love you too much, Leon.

  It made no fucking sense. Why the fuck would she do that if she loved me?

  But I couldn’t question the sincerity in her words. Not when the truth had been shining in her eyes for every fucker to see.

  There’d been pain there as well. It wasn’t just my heart she’d broken.

  She’d broken hers, too.

  I just didn’t fucking know why.

  I shook my head in anguish. “I need to get out of here.”

  Ren said nothing, strolling toward his car and getting inside. I followed and sank down into the passenger seat, my head a chaotic mess of confusion.

  And euphoria.

  Because I fucking knew I could forget everything else. Everything before and after I love you. I could forget it all.

  The question was whether I should.

  Or if she even wanted me to.

  ***

  “Hi.”

  Riley's quiet voice followed the sound of the trailer door gently clicking into place.

  “Hey,” Ren murmured, rising to greet her.

  I kept my head tucked into my chest, eyes closed, my breaths even.

  “Is he okay?”

  “What do you think?”

  Riley dragged in a breath of air but didn't respond.

  “Is she going to talk to him?”

  “I don't know,” she murmured quietly.

  “She can't just fucking do that to him—”

  “She's got a lot going on right now,” Riley snapped, immediately rising in defense of her best friend. And I loved her for it. I opened my eyes as Ren sighed and perched down on the edge of the table, pulling Riley in between his legs. His head dipped to rest in the crook of her neck as he wrapped his arms tight around her waist and hers folded around his neck.

  They stayed locked like that for a few minutes, neither moving, neither speaking.

  Until I did.

  “I need you to tell me what the fuck's going on, Ri.”

  Ren's head came up and Riley's spun to me, her big, green eyes wide in her face. She held my gaze for a beat before lowering hers. But not before I noticed the conflict raging in it.

  “She asked me not to, Le.”

  I pushed forward in the chair, spreading my thighs, and dropping my hands between them. I looked up at her and nodded slowly. “But you want to tell me?”

  “Leon...” she said with a long sigh. “Please don't—”

  “I love her, Riley.”

  Riley’s eyes filled, breath catching as I beseeched her, and locked her in my gaze. Ren's arms tightened around her.

  “If she's pushing me away because she's fucking scared, that's bullshit, and you know it.”

  She shook her head, reaching to swipe away a stray tear. “That’s not it. She’s trying to protect you. The only way she knows how.”

  My shoulders tensed, brows pulling down. “To protect me? From what?” I gave my head a light shake. “What would she need to protect me from?”

  Ri took a heavy breath, turning to look up at Ren who smiled down at her, his eyes full of tenderness.

  Then understanding hit home, and my heart jolted. “Ri... is it something to do with her mom?”

  Riley swivelled in Ren's arms, turning until her back pressed into his chest. “I love her, and I love you. And I just want you both to be happy. My loyalty will always be to her, which is why I’m going to tell you this.” She glanced down and pressed her hand over her eyes. “She was never going to sleep with him, Leon. It wasn’t real. She wanted you to see what you saw.” Her breath shuddered as she brought her gaze to mine. “She might have it, Leon… the disease her mom has? Liss might have it, and she’s scared to let you—”

  I was out of the trailer and running through the park before she finished speaking.

  Lissa loved me. Enough to try to protect me from whatever her future might hold. She loved me enough to let me go.

  And she broke her own heart in the process.

  I ran without stopping until I was standing at her front door, banging my fist down on the wood between heaving fucking breaths.

  Her aunt and mom both stood wide-eyed in the doorway when it slid open.

  I met their gazes, and said, “I need to see her.”

  THIRTY-THREE

  LISS

  It felt like I was dying.

  It hurt to breathe.

  Trying to contemplate life without him had grief tearing through me. Every jagged inhalation felt like a cruel punishment, slashing at my heart from the inside and leaving me bleeding out internally. I lay curled up on my side on my bed, writhing in agony; an acute pain borne from a heartache so deep-rooted it felt infinite, all-consuming. Bone deep. Soul crushing.

  I deserved it. Every second of it, and more. I buried my face into the comforter and pulled tighter into myself, curling my arms around my bent leg
s and rocking to the soundless sobs wracking my chest.

  My mom’s hand rubbed up and down my back, a steady weight that hadn’t left since I’d fallen through the door and sunk to my knees. I’d told her everything. Bared my soul. And she’d wrapped me in her arms and whispered that it would all be okay.

  But it wouldn’t. How could it?

  A series of loud bangs against the front door boomed through the house; I barely acknowledged them. My mom stood with a murmured, “I’ll be right back, honey,” before leaving the room.

  I tucked my chin into my chest, my breaths hiccupping in my throat, and willed it all to just go away. All of it.

  But it didn’t. It wouldn’t. Tears slid silently over my cheeks, making my skin tight and itchy. I didn’t move to sweep them aside… couldn’t muster the energy to care.

  Every ounce of my energy had been siphoned from my veins—the physical toll for my emotional turmoil—and it was all I could do to keep my heart beating, lungs pumping… tears flowing.

  I heard my bedroom door open, then close softly. I didn’t turn.

  A warm hand landed on my arm, and I knew instantly it didn’t belong to my mom.

  I froze. The world around me slowed until all I could hear was the heavy thud of my heartbeat in my head.

  “Hey, Snow Queen.”

  His low words, deep and raw, shattered me into a thousand pieces and a tortured sob tore from my throat.

  Leon’s arms came around me, lifting me easily onto his lap and tucking me into his body. I turned into him and crushed my face into his chest as my tears soaked through the thin material of his shirt.

  “Shhh,” he murmured into my hair.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I whimpered, over and over, endless broken apologies falling from my lips as he stroked a hand over my hair and tightened his arms around my body, his heavy breaths vibrating against my cheek.

  He pressed his lips against my temple.

  “I’m sorry.” I shook my head again, knowing it wasn’t enough.

  “I know,” he said softly, planting another kiss, his mouth lingering against my skin. He was quiet for a while, and then he murmured, his voice hoarse, “I love you.”

  My eyelids fused shut, fresh tears overspilling. “You can’t.” I shook my head hard. “I can’t let you.”

  He sighed. “You don’t get a say, baby.”

  “You shouldn’t even be here,” I choked out.

  He shifted, grasping under my arms, and moving me until I straddled his lap, his hands framing my face.

  “You think after what you told me at Danny’s I could just let you walk away from me, Lissa?” he rasped, his brow marred by a deep crease as his unflinching stare crashed into mine.

  My heart squeezed, my chest rising on uneven swells. “How could you ever forgive me?”

  His head tipped, and he regarded me with soft blue eyes. “Because I know why you did it.”

  A choked breath broke from my bruised lungs, and I lowered my head, looking down.

  He knew. Riley must have told him. I couldn’t bring myself to feel any anger about her broken promise. “I don’t know that I have a future to offer you.”

  He tipped my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Neither do I. Who does, baby?”

  My head swayed side to side, my voice a whisper, “It’s not the same.”

  His eyes narrowed on mine, grip tightening. “You leaving me won’t change the way I feel about you, Lissa. I don’t give a fuck what the future holds. I care about right now. Right here. That’s what you have to offer, and that’s all I’m asking for.”

  I blinked, a lone tear streaking down my cheek. “You’ll want more. Eventually, you’ll want more than I can give you.”

  “I’ll want you.” He leaned forward with a deep breath and pressed his forehead gently into mine. “I’ll only ever want you.”

  “I’ll forget you.” Pain gripped my chest at the thought, caging the air in my lungs. “And then it will all be wasted, anyway.”

  “No, it won’t.” He shook his head, his eyes gleaming as they bore into me. “I’ll remember every fucking second, Lissa. I’ll remember enough for the both of us.”

  “Leon,” I breathed, reaching up and wrapping my hands around his wrists. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

  He exhaled a rough breath and closed his eyes, bringing his mouth to mine. “Just let me love you, Lissa,” he pleaded against my lips, “just… stop fighting and let me fucking love you.”

  And then his eyes opened on mine with so much adoration I could have drowned in it.

  He didn’t care that my path was so uncertain. He was here, and he was willing to take my hand and jump on board a train to nowhere, just to be with me.

  Because it wasn’t the destination; it was the journey. And the people we travelled it with. However long, or short it might be.

  I blinked at him through my tears and nodded.

  He jerked, his eyes wide with hope and his voice hoarse. “Yeah?”

  “Yes.” I gave him a watery smile and said, “Give me something to forget, Pretty Boy.”

  His mouth crashed down on mine, and everything else faded.

  Live in the moment.

  And make every single one of them as hard as fucking possible to forget.

  I could do that.

  Every moment with him would be worth it.

  EPILOGUE

  TEN YEARS LATER

  LEON

  Time seemed to stand still, my heart flooding with a depth of emotion that tightened my throat and squeezed my chest as Lissa floated down the aisle toward me on her Uncle Jim’s arm. Her platinum hair fell softly around her shoulders in loose waves, and the ivory-colored silk of her dress glided down over her slim curves, the smooth fabric shimmering under the golden rays of the late afternoon sun as it trailed the floor behind her.

  Lissa looked like a fucking dream come true.

  Because she was.

  My dream. Always had been.

  My throat locked up when her gaze lifted, and then she smiled.

  Two glittering blue eyes slammed into mine with a dazzling intensity that hit like a sucker punch, and that smile still had the ability to knock me on my ass all these years later.

  Ten years ago, I’d fallen for a woman who challenged me, who’d burrowed her way into my heart and embedded herself so fucking deep I couldn’t take a breath without feeling her there. She’d made me want to be a better man, made me understand what it meant to love someone so much you’d do anything for them. Any-fucking-thing. Almost overnight, Lissa had become the single most important thing in my life. That hadn’t changed. Not one bit.

  I swallowed hard, my gaze following Lissa’s when a small figure wrapped in tulle and lace sprinted out of the procession and flew past me, launching herself into the outstretched arms of the guy standing to my right. My lips immediately pulled up into a grin as I turned and watched Ren sweep little Lola up against his chest, offering his daughter an indulgent smile as he gazed down at her with the same look of wonder and adoration he hadn’t been able to wipe off his face since the day she’d come screaming into this world.

  At four years old, Lola Amy Renner had her daddy wrapped tight around her tiny little finger. The guy had been a goner from the moment she’d taken her first breath. My goddaughter was beautiful—a perfect blend of her mommy and daddy with Ren’s olive skin tone, a gleaming head of thick dark hair, and Riley’s sparkling emerald eyes.

  Riley approached, standing off to the side as she met Ren’s gaze with a questioning brow arched halfway, silently asking if he wanted to hold on to their daughter. He gave her a wink and tightened his arms around his little girl.

  Air filled my chest as my gaze swept back to Lissa.

  I’d never dwelled on anything we might miss out living under the cloud of uncertainty that came with the threat of Alzheimer’s. Lissa was enough. For as long as we lived it, our life together was enough. But the day Ren had introduced me to his baby g
irl, cradling this tiny, squirming human in his big arms like he held the finest china, pride shining in his eyes like a supernova in the night sky, I’d felt my one and only pang of longing.

  I’d sworn to Lissa once that I’d only ever want her, and I hadn’t lied. I’d made that promise with my eyes wide open, firmly in the knowledge that our lives might never be the same as everyone else’s. In a different life, I would have loved Lissa to be the mother of my kids, but I’d never want that with anyone else. Only her.

  Not having Lissa in my life was never an option. Not for me. And if that meant some things weren’t meant to be, then so be it. I’d never seen it as a sacrifice.

  Then everything changed.

  Lissa was by her mom’s side right up until she passed away two years ago, displaying the kind of strength and love I was still in fucking awe of. A year after that, Lissa decided to go ahead with genetic testing to see if she carried the mutation that caused her mom’s illness.

  Lissa tested negative.

  And suddenly a sea of unending possibility stretched out before us.

  I’d dropped to one knee and pulled out the same ring I’d held onto for eight years. It wasn’t the first time I’d asked Lissa to be my wife, but it was the first time she’d said yes, and hearing that word had almost fucking broke me.

  “Pretty Boy,” Lissa said with a light smile when she reached me.

  My heart slammed into my chest as I took her hands in mine. My eyes were for no one but the woman standing in front of me as I took in every feature of her gorgeous face and prepared to tell the whole fucking world what I’d known for ten years… Alissa Bedford was the only woman I’d ever love.

  ***

  LISS

  I smoothed a palm over Lola’s clammy skin, sweeping the damp strands of hair back off her forehead with a kiss to her rounded cheek before handing her over to Riley.

  “She was so good today,” I whispered with a smile, my eyes soft as they trailed over my goddaughter’s perfect face.

  Riley tucked her daughter into her chest and gazed lovingly down at her. “She really was.”

  “Wife.”

  My head spun to the sound of Leon’s voice. The sight of him standing with his hands pushed into the pockets of his dress pants, his tie loose around his neck and those heated blue eyes locked on my face, was enough to suck all the oxygen from my lungs. I licked my lips as I met his gaze.