by Bella Street
“Just for the record, next time I give you a pep talk on how to be strong, do not use it as an excuse to take the law into your own hands.”
“So you mean don't act like Fenn and Fiona—the ones who defied the laws of physics to bring us here?”
“Apparently, you didn't suffer any permanent damage from that bang to your head,” she said primly. “You're still argumentative to a fault.”
“This is the result of your girl power talks.”
“Oh, good Lord, child. Just get some rest, and remember not to be too animated. Gareth needs some time. Allow him to have it.”
“The one thing I seem to have here is an abundance of time.”
Olga sent her a tight smile, grabbed her medical bag, and quietly left the room.
That's when Seffy saw the hole in the wood panel of her door.
***
Fenn stood outside, staring up at the molten pink sky. It would be beautiful if it wasn't so damn terrifying.
He closed his eyes and concentrated for several minutes, and finally felt the faint tremors under his feet.
When would the next big one hit? The compound was strong, but it couldn't sustain an eight or nine on the Richter scale.
Even more risky was having Seffy on the premises. She was bad not only for the sky, but for his heart. He felt the familiar tightening in his chest at the thought of her. He'd tried to stay away from her, he really had.
But time and illness were not on his side.
Coupled with the latest distress, was grief. Seeing her heartbroken over the loss of Trent was more than he could bear. Fenn scratched at the scars on his arm.
And he knew the easing of his conscious was just a needle prick away.
He lowered his arm and headed back into the compound—the place of refuge that was anything but. He had responsibilities he couldn't ignore this time.
Fiona was crawling out of her skin more than usual. Pregnancy had only made her more anxious, not less, like he'd hoped. So much for his assumption that she'd become maternal at the thought of a child growing in her womb.
Fenn nodded at the guards, glad that at least there had been no more reports of wolves or other freaks of nature. He glanced up at the sky one last time before entering the garage bay.
Maybe some things were scarier than wild, rabid beasts.
***
“Hey, sweetie, are you awake?”
Seffy remained curled on her side on the bed, too exhausted to move at the sound of Lani's voice. She grunted instead. Suddenly, the action struck her as hilarious now that she was supposed to be acting like a mental case. She bit her lip to stop a hysterical bark of laughter.
Maybe there would be less acting required than she first thought.
“Olga asked me to bring you some breakfast. She's worried that you're not eating. Of course who could blame you? The food here gets seriously old after a while.”
Seffy forced herself to roll over and sit up. Her stomach gave an unladylike grumble.
Lani set a tray down on the desk and tucked her hair behind her ear, “I have something else for you.” She eased down on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?”
Seffy wondered if a zombie would say 'crappy.' She shrugged instead.
“I hope...” The brunette sniffed and closed her eyes for a moment. “I hope these bring you some comfort.” She held out an envelope.
Seffy stared at the envelope for several seconds before she realized what it was.
She sensed Lani's gaze on her face, but could only concentrate on drawing air into her suddenly starved lungs.
“Maybe I could bring them back later...at a better time.”
Seffy reached out and took the envelope before Lani could change her mind.
With her heart roaring in her ears, she lifted the flap and shook out the photographs taken at her wedding.
Her breath caught when she saw a picture of Trent.
“Oh my God,” she whispered, fighting the blurring which threatened to make her too blind to see the pictures.
Seffy picked up the top photo and stared at it with wide eyes. Trent's image had been captured in a unguarded moment. He was smiling at her, his eyes alight with happiness, and yet at the same time his gaze appeared to consume her. That was her husband. He could be flippant on the surface, but something serious always simmered just beneath.
She looked at the flush of his cheeks, at the strong column of his throat in the suit he'd worn. God, he was so gorgeous. He looked so alive. Seffy touched the photograph, almost expecting to feel heat from his skin.
She glanced up at Lani, moisture on her cheeks. “Thank you.”
Lani's blue eyes were also awash in tears. She nodded without speaking.
Seffy didn't hear her leave. She was absorbed in the photos, in the painfully limited memories she had with Trent.
One photo was taken as they said their vows. She remembered Addy's words about his face being altered by love.
Seffy stared at Trent's expression, hardly able to believe someone could look at her like that.
Other photographs showed him with his arms around the waist of her Laura Ingalls dress, sneaking kisses when he was supposed to be holding a pose for the camera.
She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of his hands on her, his touch of desire mixed with reverence.
Overwhelming desolation pressed down on her heart until she felt it would stop beating, but she forced herself to look at each picture.
Every image of Trent reminded her of what she'd lost, of what had been taken from her.
But here she had pictures of Trent when he was happy—not fading from this life right before her eyes. Not silent and cold during that long night in the surgery. Here he was vibrant, solid, adoring.
One photograph stood out from the others. Right before their wedding kiss, their fingers were loosely laced, his gaze heavy-lidded, his lips a whisper away from her upturned ones.
Seffy swallowed hard, trying to be thankful for the time she'd had with him, but the awareness was eclipsed by the bitter reality of her aloneness.
She pressed the photograph to her lips and completed the almost-kiss before dissolving into feeble tears.
Curling up on her side, she tucked the photos to her chest and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Eleven
Seffy awoke some time later, her eyes puffy and sore.
“Sef?”
The sound of Gareth's voice behind her made her heart jump in her chest.
She pushed the packet of photographs under her pillow and slowly sat up.
Seffy found him sitting in the desk chair, his features twisted with concern.
“How are you feeling?”
Her head felt stuffed with cotton but she remembered Olga's words, so she kept her eyes lowered. “Fine,” she said in what she hoped what a subdued voice.
When Gareth didn't respond, she peeked up at him and saw the conflict in his expression. Apparently his desire to 'modify' her wasn't helping him as much as Olga had hoped.
“You...you look like you've been crying.”
“I'm sad, Gareth,” she said, her voice edged with frustration. “And I will be for a long time.”
He frowned. “Oh, I was hoping you'd...start feeling better soon.”
She sighed, wishing he would leave so she could take a shower and wash the grittiness from her eyes.
“Is there anything you need? Anything I can do to help?”
Seffy stared at him. Where was this Gareth when she was at her most needy? What was the level she had to be at for him to care? “I'm okay.”
He got up and walked over to the bed. After hesitating, he sat down next to her, his expression fervent.
She watched in disbelief when he reached up and brushed her hair away from her face.
Long-buried emotions rushed to the surface. This was the Gareth she remembered—the one who didn't find her distasteful...or broken.
His attention went to her hair as he continued t
o touch it. “Maybe, if it will make you feel better, you could go back to being a blonde.” He checked her expression for a reaction.
Seffy could only muster despondency. “And maybe I could go back to blue contacts, too,” she said quietly, sighing inwardly when he nodded.
She continued to regard his handsome features, surprised by the change in him.
Was he just longing for old times? Or could he only relate to her on his terms—the blue-eyed blonde in trouble?
Seffy averted her face to hide her regret.
“I'll let you get some rest.” He stood, then looked down on her thoughtfully. “I see Lani brought you something to eat. Call if you need anything else.”
She nodded obediently, wishing him gone.
After he left, she stared at the hole in her door panel. How was she going to deal with a solicitous Gareth knowing his attention was only because he thought she'd been dealt with? Talk about insult to injury.
She headed to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. Once she'd changed into clean clothes, she ate the cold bacon and toast, and drank the warm orange juice Lani had brought. With that need met, Seffy took a deep breath and tried to absorb this temporary calm in the storm of her emotions. She looked over at the bed and saw the corner of the photo lab envelope sticking out from under the pillow.
She grabbed it and headed to Trent's room, needing to feel close to him. But his sheets had been changed and the room swept clean. Seffy went to his dresser and pulled out one of his T shirts. It smelled like compound detergent. With a teary sigh, she went back to her room and found his hoodie. Pulling it on over her head, she stuck the photographs in the pocket, then made her way to the Light Room.
When she entered the space, she was surprised to find Lani sitting on the cushions. The brunette turned at her entrance and blushed. “Oh, hi! Um, is this okay?”
“Of course,” Seffy lied. She didn't mind her being there as much as just wanting to be alone. She sank onto the cushions.
“This is just so beautiful,” Lani breathed. “You said Trent did it as a wedding present?”
“Yeah, he stole the Christmas lights Fenn said you could use for the party.” Seffy's throat tightened at the thought of that night.
“It's almost like a disco. You just need a mini mirror ball hanging from the ceiling.”
“I suppose.”
“And you already knew about this room before that?”
She nodded. “Trent had found it months earlier. At first it was a place to get away from the compound conspiracies, but then...”
Lani blushed again. “I'm so...jealous of you, Sef. To have something like this with him. It must mean a lot.”
“It does,” she said slowly, wondering what Lani's downcast expression really meant.
“Malone and I...we tried to start something, but I'm afraid stuff got in the way.” She looked up, her blue eyes luminous in the dappled light. “But for you, Trent was your life.”
Seffy considered her words. “You were a big part of that. I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to admit my feelings for him without you cheering me on.”
A lone tear escape and ran down Lani's cheek. She nodded, a tremulous smile on her lips.
“Another thing we did up here,” Seffy said gently, “is crawl out onto the roof. Do you want to go up?”
The brunette gulped back more tears and nodded again.
Seffy opened the latch and hauled herself through the opening, then reached down to help Lani up. Her friend caught her breath at the bizarre light and cloud show undulating across the expanse of the sky.
“It's like scary beautiful. I remember being shocked at the...”
Funeral.
“Yeah.”
Lani cleared her throat. “Why do you think it's getting pinker? And wouldn't someone notice, like a meteorologist?”
“Fenn thinks it's like some kind of time encapsulation around us travelers, to keep us from going too far from our point of entry.”
Lani laughed weakly. “Sounds made up.”
“I know, right?”
The brunette sighed, pulling her knees up under her chin. “Do you think we'll ever get to leave this place?”
Seffy shrugged. “Gareth said something about the nerd herd getting close, but who really knows?”
Lani put her face in her hands and began to cry. Seffy scooted closer and put her arm around her. Pink and purple blobs separated and reconnected like warm wax above them.
“I just wanted things to go back like they were, you know?” she said when she caught her breath. “When we were all happy and getting along. And for some reason, I thought buying that disco movie would do the trick.”
“Lani, I already told you that had nothing to do with it.” She nibbled her lip wondering how much to reveal. “Fenn and Fiona have admitted their part in bringing us here, but even weirder is something Jared said before...”
Lani raised her tear-stained face. “I heard you killed him,” she said faintly.
Before Seffy could respond, she went on.
“But he would've died anyway. Malone had a plan of action to take him out if Jared wasn't dealt with one way or another.”
Seffy didn't know what to say. “Oh.”
“What did he say?”
“Who?”
“Jared.”
Seffy measured her words. “He said...Verity had sent him here...to kill me.”
“What?” Lani's eyes grew to a ludicrous size.
“That he and Clay were sent by Verity, but between my germs and Gareth and Trent, Jared apparently couldn't get close enough to kill me...until he got a hold of Malone's gun, I guess.” The words sounded so cold. She began to shiver.
“I don't understand,” Lani whispered.
“He was also the one in the tracksuit.”
“Yeah, Malone said they found some suits in his room.”
“Did he tell you about anything else they might have found?”
Lani shook her head.
Seffy tugged her hands in the pocket of the hoodie for warmth. Her fingers touched, then clutched the envelope. “I haven't really had much of a chance to take it all in. I'm so tired of the convoluted lies swirling around this place.”
“Maybe he was just babbling something incoherent. I mean this is Jared. He hid out in his room most of the time.”
Seffy took a cleansing breath. “I guess it might explain why he and Clay were here. Everyone else ended up together because our pasts were intertwined. Jared and Clay were the two things not like the others, the things that just didn't belong.”
Lani made a face. “Are you reciting a Sesame Street song?”
Seffy laughed semi-hysterically. “Maybe. Who knows what passes for sanity in my brain anymore.”
Lani rubbed her arms. “I think I'm ready to go back in. Even though most of the snow has melted, it's still crazy cold.”
Snow. Seffy went very still, suddenly back in the moment when she cradled Trent's body in her arms as his blood stained the pale blanket of snow.
“Sef? You coming?”
She shook her head to bring herself back to the present.
With leaden limbs, she followed Lani back into the Light Room. After latching the window, Seffy stood awkwardly, suddenly not knowing what to say.
“Well, I guess I'll go. I know you came up here for a reason, so I'll leave you to your...memories.”
Seffy could only nod, her throat too clogged to speak.
Lani headed for the ladder that connected this room to the one lower. She stopped and turned. “Do you think...I mean, would it be okay if I came up here sometimes...?”
“Anytime, Lani,” she said thickly. “I mean it.”
The brunette mouthed her thanks, then carefully backed down the ladder.
When she was alone, Seffy got under the blankets on the cushions, spread out the photographs, and spent time with her...memories.
***
The psychonautics hall was gloomy as usual, but this time
there was a special tang of menace in the air.
Then she saw her. Fiona. No wonder then.
“What are you doing here? I'm sick of you snooping around.”
Seffy stared at the diminutive termagant. “Um, trust me, I don't want to be here any more than you want me to, but we've been down that rabbit trail before, so let's not do it again.”
“You don't know anything.”
“Is there an echo around here? I'm really sick of people telling me that.”
Fiona snorted dismissively, then pivoted and went down the hall to the last room on the left. The one beneath the exit sign.
It was on the tip of Seffy's tongue to yell after her to be careful of what might be in there, but decided to let the woman find out on her own.
When several minutes had passed, she wondered what Fiona was doing in that room of all rooms anyway.
Maybe she has a new victim to torture. Maybe she's devising some new plot to ruin my life. Hey, maybe she's into torture herself. Might explain a lot.
Seffy began to walk slowly toward the room, her annoyance giving way to anxiety.
Strange orange light filtered out into the hall.
Unusual sounds came from the room as well, along with a medicinal smell. Her mouth began to water from fear. She'd smelled that odor before. It smelled like dread and cold sweats.
Her steps faltered.
“Are you coming or what? I haven't got all day.”
Fiona's voice made her jump. She expects me to follow?
Seffy slowly approached the room and looked in. Fiona stood in some kind of lab. Racks of test tubes lined long, sterile counter tops. Several tubes were filled with multi-colored solutions. Others were filled with what looked like blood. One tube of blood boiled from an unseen heat source. Another frothed over the top, foaming with noxious bubbles. Yet another was covered in gray, fuzzy mold.
More tubes in various states of disarray lay scattered across the counter, oozing red nastiness.
Seffy look over at Fiona for explanation. That's when she saw Fenn. He sagged in a chair under a white spotlight, one sleeve bunched up to reveal thin plastic tubing protruding from a large vein in his emaciated arm.
