*Okay, that’s it! You are going to bed early tonight,* I promised myself.
“I love this game!” He reached down to pick up the jewel case. A ripple of pleasure traveled through me at finding he liked something I did.
“Is it in your PlayStation?”
“It sure is!”…then my momentary glee faded.
He bent to turn on the TV and game system.
“Do you want to see my game collection?” I asked, desperate to drag him away from the screen. I paused, half in horror, half in fascination, as the opening movie scene played. Wincing as Squall’s blood was drawn, feeling a rush at the sight of Rinoa’s angel wings. When the segment ended, and the game started, though, I tried to distract him again.
“Come look at this!” I commanded in a panic-laced voice.
He turned to look at me and narrowed his eyes. My eyes drifted back toward the graphics…then back to his face. He didn’t miss that. He grinned slightly and started to move the character around with the controller.
“We can do something else,” I almost shrieked.
“Nah, I think I want to play this for a bit.” Dammit.
Then Rinoa spoke to Squall…only I’d gone back and started my game over, entering names of my own choosing for the main characters…so that she then spoke to ‘Ron.’ Of course, when video-game Ron spoke back, his words were directed to Maura, not Rinoa.
My face grew so hot; I knew my cheeks had to be glowing like a branding iron just taken from the fire. He turned, looked me over, and fought fervently to hold back laughter.
“So, you’re naming your video game characters after us?” His face broke into a huge smile. “Nice,” he purred the word in a deeper-than-usual voice that made my heart skip a beat.
He kept up the pretense of playing a few minutes more, but I could tell he was preoccupied with something else. He put the controller on the edge of my moon-and-star patterned comforter and walked over to me. The thought that I was alone…in my bedroom…with a boy who made my heart sprint in a way that felt unnatural, made me feel a bit overwhelmed. What would he expect we would be doing while my mother was still at work?
“Weren’t you going to show me the rest of your games?” He just had a way of settling things, making them comfortable, almost like he knew my worries—offering the perfect solution to push them aside.
“Sure.” I was so awestruck by him that I didn’t move, even though my games were on a rack across the room.
He put his palm up to my cheek. I felt the skin grow hot, but not because of the temperature of his skin. My lips popped apart to allow for the increase in my breathing. That seemed to make him uncomfortable. He tore his eyes away from mine and looked around my room. I thought he must be looking for the games I’d failed to show him, but his gaze lingered on my computer. I was painfully aware of the Fate Stay Night screensaver floating across the monitor.
“Ah, an anime fan too, huh?” Another thing in common? That was just too much to hope for.
“Y-yes.” I supposed it was also too much to hope for to sound anything near intelligent in his presence.
“I like that one too. Really a surprise about who Saber turns out to be, isn’t it?”
Okay, I had to be dreaming. I reached down to pinch the side of my leg. His eyes caught the movement, and he laughed when he saw what I did. Then, his expression twisted into something I couldn’t quite translate, passing over his handsome face so quickly. He sauntered easily over to my computer.
“You have any songs on here?” he asked. His love for music was hard to miss.
“You’re going to laugh at what a silly question that is,” I told him. I joined him at my little pine computer desk and rolled the mouse around until I had the My Documents folder open. I let the cursor hover on the My Music folder until the little information box popped up.
“Wow…forty-three gigs…impressive,” he admitted. He laid his hand over mine and took control of the mouse. He clicked down with my finger to open the folder, and together we scrolled through the choices. He created a small playlist in the media player and then walked over to the rack of games and DVD’s standing against the far wall. My hand was shaking, I noticed, when I’d removed my fingers from the stability of the mouse.
I didn’t know what to say to him next, but my mind was formulating phrases like, “Have you ever thought about moving to Vancouver?”
He was definitely becoming more ingrained in me. I thought of him so often. When I went to sleep at night, he wove his presence into my dreams. Even when I had nightmares about what had happened on Saturday, he always made an appearance at the end to save me, just as he had in real life. He was on my mind when I awoke, wishing he was lying beside me…but only so I could have the depths within his eyes be the first thing I became aware of. At times, over the last forty-eight hours, I’d resolved to be stronger, knowing our separation was inevitable, but that resolve never seemed to stick with me for very long. I guessed I was doomed to know a touch of Caelyn’s suffering, despite the fact that I’d decided a long time ago to never let that kind of thing happen to me.
He broke through my silent, meandering thoughts. “You have some real classics here,” he noted. My choices seemed to please him. He was holding my copy of Lunar: Silver Star Story. He knew of that game?
“Have you ever played it?” I asked, disbelieving.
“Oh yeah.” He spoke as if there could be no way he hadn’t. “This is one of the best games ever.”
“It’s my second favorite,” I said.
“Oh…then I guess your first is?” He inclined his head toward my PlayStation.
I blushed again and nodded. I still couldn’t believe how boneheaded I’d been to forget about renaming my characters like that…and actually allowing him to get anywhere near the controller.
He did grin again, at my embarrassment I surmised, but he switched gears and asked, “What do you think about VII?”
“Oh! I love Sepiroth!”
“You like the bad guy?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“There’s just something…sad about him…and his hair is really cool,” I added sheepishly.
“So, you like guys with long hair, huh?” He’d put the game back on the shelf and was walking back toward me. I couldn’t hear the song playing on the computer speakers anymore. There was an electric kind of buzzing inside my head.
“Mm-hmm,” was all I managed.
He kept walking until he stood right in front of me. “Do you like me?”
He was very direct, but the manner suited him. I still gulped. “Of course.” I’d gone and done it. What good could come out of such a proclamation?
He moved on, almost like I hadn’t said anything. He didn’t visibly react in any way to my confession. “How strict do you think your mother is going to be with this grounding thing?”
“Very,” I admitted. In the moment that knowledge bothered me…a lot.
The corners of his smile turned down. He took my hand into one of his and my heart sped. “That’s too bad; I was going to ask you to prom.”
Ugh. Being around all those phonies at school, clad in a ridiculously overdone dress. Any kind of formal dance definitely wasn’t my idea of a good time.
“I really didn’t want to go anyway.” I could see him search my face to determine whether that was the truth, or if I was just trying to let him down easy.
I continued quickly, so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. “Besides, that is a nighttime activity. If we want to…get around Mom’s restrictions, we’ll have to find things to do while she’s at work.”
“So, you want to cut more classes?” He grinned at me. Relief had flooded his features when I’d mentioned that I wanted to do other things—besides prom—with him.
Hmmm, I’d actually been thinking of making the most of the three hours we’d have after school…but as long as I was in trouble anyway… ”Sure.” I grinned back conspiratorially.
“What should we do firs
t?” he asked eagerly.
“Well…I have to get started on dinner. Now is definitely not the time to make her suspicious at all.”
He pulled at me then, towing me toward the kitchen. “Great! I’ll help.”
7. Roller Coasters and Haunted Mansions
The next morning, Caelyn was out the door before me—as usual—but on that day her punctuality was an especially good thing. I actually peeked out the window to make sure she drove away. Sneaking around was really making me paranoid. But that day was the first time I’d ever cut an entire day of school before. I’d hardly ever missed a day during the entire three years I’d been attending high school. I didn’t doubt that my forged excuse would escape any scrutiny by the school secretary.
At present, I considered a more important worry. What to wear? I was determined that Ron wouldn’t see any more of my childishly-patterned pajamas. Funny how I’d never seen them in that light until that night…
I threw open the doors to my little closet and combed through the shirt options. Jeans would be a necessity for an amusement park, but since dresses made up the larger part of my wardrobe, my choices for what went over them was a bit limited. I thought of raiding Caelyn’s closet for a moment but came across my favorite shirt just in time—a long-sleeved light sweater. The sleeves and top half were smooth, but below the empire waist, accented by a black ribbon that tied around the back, the sweater had a slightly raised texture like a basket-weave. The garment was an unusual cherry-red color with three golden, star-shaped buttons in a line at the topmost part of the shirt. There was an almost medieval look to the top that I loved.
I threw on a pair of black jeans—to accentuate the ribbon in the middle—socks and my sneakers and ran to the bathroom to put my face and hair in order. My lashes received a light coating of mascara to make my eyes pop just a bit, and I added a bit of cherry-colored lip gloss to my heart-shaped mouth to match the sweater. I was just finishing a light coating of hairspray to tame my oddly-thickening curls into place when the doorbell rang. I squealed softly in anticipation, surprising myself, and ran downstairs, pausing a moment to make it seem as though I was opening the door calmly.
He probably didn’t miss my sharp intake of breath, though, as I took in his image, my eyes widening. The sun was behind his head, a halo of light. That placed his face in shadow; his eyes appeared darker, more mysterious. They sparkled as if he was just as excited about our outing as I felt.
“Hi,” I finally managed in a breathy voice.
“Hi!” The boisterous tone didn’t come from my brown-eyed angel. I finally noticed that Shane stood off to his right, something I’d been completely unaware of until he’d spoken.
“Shane?”
“The one and only! Surprise!”
I was surprised. And a bit disappointed. Maybe Ron had brought his friend along because he didn’t want to be alone with me…or give me the wrong idea.
Though I tried to hide my displeasure, the distress must have broken through in some part of my expression.
“Is it a problem if I come along?” Shane asked, suddenly less enthusiastic.
“Well…it’s not only him,” Ron admitted, looking a bit guilty then. “He brought Merina along too.”
Oh! A double date. That was much better than just Shane coming alone. Ron and I were a couple again instead of a part of an unbalanced threesome. Not that I would have really minded. Shane was too much fun to be around. I’d really only been worried about the fact that Ron might not have wanted me to think of the day as a date…which I realized I’d already been doing.
“Of course not, Shane.” I perked right up, smiling at both of them. “The day wouldn’t be the same without you!”
He grinned back at me, his eyes alight, but Ron still looked a bit troubled. I couldn’t explain my former reluctance without revealing just how terrified I was of him rejecting me. I’d dealt with ridicule and avoidance for so long that I came to expect such treatment as an unavoidable eventuality.
But would he think I was being a snob to his friend? “I was just afraid you’d sit with Ron on the big coasters and leave me to be terrified all alone,” I added, hopeful it would be explanation enough. Realization dawned in Ron’s eyes then, filling me with a strange happiness to know he understood me so easily.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we get plenty of alone time,” he promised, making my heart race at the implications. He captured one of my hands; his own feeling almost too warm around my own.
“Wow! Maura, your skin is like ice today!” I tried to reclaim my hand then, but he refused to let me go. “It’s okay.” He picked up the other one. “It feels good. It’s already getting hot this morning.”
His words reminded me of what would happen if I stood out in the sun too much. I glanced up at the sky, hoping for even a trace of cloud, but my gaze came up empty. The sky was nothing but blue and yellow. Nothing to hide the glare floated there at all. I hadn’t thought about such a possible complication until that moment.
That time, I kept the worry to myself, burying my misgivings beneath a smile borne of looking at the softness emanating from Ron’s stare. Somehow, I would avoid getting sick. I couldn’t let any of them find out about that facet of my weirdness.
As I ran to get my tiny black purse—at the park, lighter would definitely be better—I thought of all the shady places that existed at Kennywood. I’d been there nearly every summer of my existence, and Caelyn was a master at keeping me out of the sun.
As we walked to his car, he noted, “I love that sweater on you, but don’t you think it’s a tad too warm outside for it?”
I was used to covering up. “Oh, it’s thin, really. And I’ll just make sure to keep out of the sun.” Perfect.
Merina was a quiet girl. Her heart-shaped, pixyish face was pale and framed by shoulder-length, straight black-brown hair. Her eyes were a peculiar shade of hazel-green of an impenetrable depth. They were wide and round, giving her the appearance of exaggerated innocence. I noticed in the rear view mirror that they flicked often to the boy in the backseat beside her. She was obviously enamored with Shane completely.
Her shyness had him teasing and joking the whole ride to the park, trying to draw her out of her shell. Clearly, he liked her very much too.
Ron and Shane bought the tickets, so strongly opposed to either me or Merina paying that they wouldn’t even let us accompany them to the ticket booths—like they thought we might try something sneaky.
Once inside, Ron and I asked at the same time, “So, what do you guys wanna do first?” We looked at each other and grinned.
“Two words… Roller. Coaster,” Shane replied, his eyes shining in anticipation.
I was hoping he would say that. “Which one?” I asked.
“Well…that depends…wooden or steel? Indoor or outdoor? Single coaster or racing coasters?”
“Too many choices,” Ron shot back at him. “Let’s just ride the one we come to first.”
Shane shrugged. “Works for me.” He took off at an animated pace, dragging Merina behind. He started to sing “Roller coaster…of love…roller coaster…” He swung her hand in rhythm to the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s words.
I laughed as we started after them, Ron taking my hand as well.
I noticed that Shane took a route around the park which would lead us to the Phantom’s Revenge coaster first. Oh well, we might as well start big. The huge looping coaster’s second hill dropped more than 200 feet, the coaster reaching a speed of 85 mph. That first drop always made me feel like my stomach had leapt into my throat…but I loved every minute. I just hoped we wouldn’t have to stand out in the sun too long while waiting in line.
Luck was not with me in that regard. The line was long, and not very much of it was under cover. I nervously licked my lips as I looked at the snaking rows of people waiting to ride. Of course, Ron instantly picked up on my trepidation. He seemed so ‘aware’ of me at times; I found his acuity mind
-boggling.
“Everything okay?” He whispered the words, using the opportunity to brush his lips against my ear in a way I didn’t believe to be accidental. Goosebumps scurried over me everywhere.
“Sure.” My tone wasn’t completely confident, and I could tell by his uneasy expression that he’d caught the sound in my voice.
At the moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to not get sick in front of my sweet, extremely-good-looking companion. We stood in the line for fifteen minutes, the sun relentlessly beating down on me. I was envious of all the people around me who looked like they were soaking the rays up, enjoying every fragment of light the massive star poured down upon us.
I was beginning to feel the first tinge of nausea. Slight, like being spun around too fast, but a definite warning of unpleasant things to come. I wrestled over which was worse, running off to stand under a nearby tree—but retaining the breakfast digesting in my stomach—or puking—quite possibly on Ron in the tightly packed line—and making a complete spectacle of myself. I chose the less embarrassing…but embarrassing, still, nonetheless…option and pulled my hand free of Ron’s. Mine was still so chilly; his palm was left unsweaty, even in the summer-like heat.
“Maura?” he questioned.
“I think I’m going to go stand under that tree…if you don’t mind.” I could feel the heat creep into my cheeks. “The sun is just so strong today.”
“Are you okay? I knew you weren’t feeling good. Your skin is so cold; are you coming down with something? Do you want to go home?” His words were escaping in a worried rush.
“No, no!” I saw the panic in Shane’s eyes. “I just…don’t do well in the sun,” I admitted, dropping my head and the volume of my voice.
He seemed to catch on quickly to the humiliation I was feeling. He immediately let the subject drop. But he insisted on going with me, explaining to the people behind us in line that I didn’t feel well so that we could reclaim our place behind Shane and Merina once they reached the covered rows at the station. We moved over into the shade and down along the line of trees off to the side, as our friends moved along inside the metal dividers, advancing their progress at a turtle’s pace.
“Thank you,” I whispered to Ron, once we were out of the sun. I was overjoyed he hadn’t pressed the issue. The only questions he asked while we were waiting were of the safe variety. What was my favorite food, color, anime…those types of things. And of course, I had plenty of questions for him too. I’d never had time waiting for something wonderful go so fast…or become filled with so much fun.
“What’s your favorite color?” I asked.
“Green…I like trees. Hey, do you like hiking?”
“Sure,” I lied, then corrected. “Well, I’m sure I would like it if I went.” He laughed his easy laugh.
“I’ll have to take you before you go.” He looked away for a minute. I heard him take in a sharp breath, and then he turned back to me. “But let’s not talk about that anymore today.”
“Okay,” I agreed, feeling as melancholy as he looked.
“When’s your birthday?” I asked to distract him. I hated to see sadness in his face.
“September ninth. And let’s see; yours is June twenty-fourth?”
How did he know? All I could do was stare at him open-mouthed in shock.
“Hey! You two had better get over here!” Shane yelled to us.
Shane and his girl had reached the boarding station—which was gloriously covered. Quickly, we slipped back in line behind them, given that the others waiting in line around us were so forgiving. I was still pondering the mystery behind how he’d known my birthdate. We’d only been speaking to each other a few weeks, and I was sure I’d never revealed that bit of information to him.
“Are you ready for this?” Ron asked, excitement in his eyes. Then, he looked worried again. “Are you sure you’re up to it? You feeling okay?”
I rolled my eyes at him, trying to distract him from his worry. “Are you going to ask me that before we get on every ride today?”
“Just making sure.” He took my hand again. He must have thought I still felt cold, because he rubbed mine between both of his like he was trying to warm mine up. I smiled at his caring gesture. Just standing beside him made me feel warm.
Shane was fairly bouncing with excitement when we were next to be loaded into the coaster cars. I thought he was going to drag Merina off her feet before they crossed the short distance to their seats. Ron led me over, considerably more gently, holding my hand while I stepped down into the car. I felt the first twinges of nervous elation when our shoulder bars were clicked into place.
“You nervous at all?” I wondered if he had some uncanny ability to read my mind that he was keeping from me.
“Nope,” I lied. “You?”
“In a good way,” he responded, laughing a little. I decided right there his laugh was my favorite sound in the world. “But despite what you say, I think you are a little scared. So, I’ll just hold your hand for you.”
“You’re my white knight,” I responded, loving the way it felt when his fingers intertwined with mine.
It had been a couple of years since Caelyn had brought me, so the second drop—the big one—seemed to make my heart stop for a few seconds. Ron and I were both laughing wildly as our coaster shot up from under the tracks of the wooden coaster beside it—a great effect. When we’d dropped down the biggest hill, the path under the other coaster gave the illusion, for a moment, that riders were doomed to crash into the interlacing wooden support struts.
“That was GREAT,” Shane exploded when we were climbing back onto the platform back at the station. Merina looked a little pale. Her legs shook once she was upright again. Shane snickered and hugged her close. Watching their easy intimacy made me hug Ron to me, almost unconsciously. I didn’t even realize I’d put my arm about his waist until I was squeezing him against my side. He beamed at me... Of course, I blushed in response.
We seemed to be getting closer, whether I wanted that to happen or not.
The rest of the day was just as much fun…mostly. I did end up getting sick somewhere between our ‘drive’ on the Turnpike and the walk through Noah’s Ark. At that point, I didn’t know if the culprit had been the rides or all the junk food we’d consumed. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the culprit was probably the sun. Ron and I were munching on a funnel cake—after the cotton candy and gravy-covered fries we’d eaten earlier—sitting on a bench out in the open. I’d felt hot and queasy, but had told myself the twinge was nothing and tried to ignore its assault, desperately wishing to be normal if only for one day. Once it was too late, I realized the mistake I’d made. I ran, humiliated, for the nearest bathroom.
When I’d finally emerged, even paler than usual and sweating, Ron was waiting worriedly right outside. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I promised.
“You really get sick when you’re out in the sun?” He raised an eyebrow questioningly.
“Yeah, make me feel worse about it!” was what I felt like shouting at him but settled for just, “Yeah.” I bit my tongue to keep from saying any more. I felt irrationally angry but fought to control my temper.
He took me into his arms in a rush, surprising me and melting away my irritation. “It’s okay, Maura. It must be really hard to put up with that.”
I’d been expecting him to treat me like the freak I knew I was or make fun of me, and that was his reaction? He was just too sweet…too understanding. And I was leaving him behind in less than a month.
“I think we should get you home,” he said softly. He was running a hand over my back, comfortingly, atop of my hair.
I didn’t want the day to be over. I wanted to have a fun day, like any other normal teenage girl. “No!” I blurted out, with more violence than I’d wished to leak into my voice. “I don’t want to go yet.” I knew how excited Shane was, too, and would’ve really hated to ruin the day for him and Merina.
Though she might actually thank me—he’d dragged her off to the Phantom’s Revenge again.
Ron pulled back to look at me disapprovingly. But I was formulating a plan. “I know! I just need to get inside and cool down for a while. We can go on the haunted house ride, and then the Exterminator!” I didn’t wait for an answer, boldly snatching up his hand to drag him toward my goal, robbing him of the opportunity to dissuade me from my brilliant plan.
“Maura…you want to go on more rides after being sick?”
I put my brightest smile in place before turning back to him. “You worry too much! I’m fine, feel much better now. I mean, what do you expect when you mix gravy and cotton candy?”
He really had no argument for that.
I added for good measure, “Come on! I’m so excited to try the new ride. I’ve never been on Ghostwood Estate before.”
Shane must have caught up to us in time to hear where we were going. “Yeah, Bro, when the girls get scared, they can grab onto us for protection!” he boomed behind us.
Yes! I had an ally. Ron must’ve warmed to the picture his friend was formulating. “Hmmm, that is true.” I didn’t have to drag him after that.
The time inside the haunted house turned out to be just what I’d needed. The ride was cool and velvety-dark inside, and my stomach settled almost immediately. Shane was bubbling over with excitement because the ride involved the use of ghost guns, the premise being that the spirit-filled mansion had grown overpopulated, needing the help of riders to help clear out some of its more troublesome inhabitants.
Shane morphed into Rambo mode, shooting every target in sight, causing spooks to pop out at us from the darkness, Merina squealing with fright every time.
I jumped a little, now and then, but it took a lot more to frighten me than such typical, tame measures. Katie Parker was much more macabre than any of the ghouls on the ride.
“Aren’t you scared?” Ron asked at my ear, trying to be heard over Shane’s enthusiastic battle cries. He sounded a little disappointed.
A grisly-looking skeleton erupted from one of the walls. I feigned being frightened and smashed myself against Ron’s shoulder, burying my face in his shirt. I squealed loudly for effect…before grinning up at him a few moments later. “Is that better?”
Even in the gloom, I saw him roll his eyes, but he molded his arm into my side to crush me even closer to him. The cuddling throughout the remainder of the ride seriously interfered with his shooting ability, so it was no surprise Shane’s shooting score was almost double what Ron ended up with.
“Ha! I kicked your butt!” Shane danced around us elated, nearly shoving his condemning finger right into Ron’s face.
Ron shrugged slightly and hugged me against his side. “Eh… I’ll take the tradeoff.” Nothing could have wiped the dizzied smile from my face.
Ron made us ride again twice—Shane ecstatic, because he had the highest score every time except the last go around—determined to keep me out of the sun for as long as possible. We walked to The Exterminator next, Ron quietly smug after beating Shane by quite a large margin on our last ride. Shane made him swear to a rematch right after we disembarked, which meant Ron could keep me in the dark a little longer. Poor Merina.
But when I looked back at them, she wore a dreamy look on her face, and I realized she didn’t care at all what we were doing as long as Shane was with her.
Ron kept us to the shadows as much as he could as we made our way to the indoor coaster. The set-up was perfect; even the line formed indoors…where the air was deliciously air-conditioned. The waiting area was part of the ride’s effect, transforming the waiting area into part of the underground utility sewer where monstrous rats were rumored to lurk.
“You’re feeling better now.” It wasn’t really a question Ron spoke casually into my ear, escaping our companions’ notice.
“Oh, yeah. This is great. I’ve never had so much fun!” I allowed myself to hug him. Mine wasn’t such a forbidden move. He was already standing so close to me, and it wasn’t like there hadn’t been contact between us all day. It seemed like once you moved past that first touch, all the ones that followed occurred naturally. Especially with him. Ron seemed to draw me to him, pulling me, as if by some gravitational force. The more I was close to him, the more I touched him, the stronger the pull seemed to become. Moving or not, I was disappointed in myself to discover I was far past the point of being able to resist any longer.
But as I held him here, oblivious to Shane, Merina and all the strangers around us, there was that nagging question I needed to discover the answer to. I knew I couldn’t put the asking off any longer…if I wanted to retain my sanity.
We were almost the same height; he only had those three inches on me, so it wasn’t a stretch for me to turn my head to whisper into his ear, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
I took a deep breath and felt my heart rate increase. I shifted my feet, nervousness coursing through my body.
He inclined his head back to peer at me. “Is it that bad?”
Maybe... I flushed and tried again—unsuccessfully—to force the question from my mind into my mouth.
The warm smile again. “You can ask me anything, Maura.”
I took another deep breath and asked in a rush, “Is there anyone else that you’re, you know…like this with?”
He seemed confused by my question.
I knew I would have to make myself more clear. “Do you…” I gulped before continuing. “…have anyone else you like in the same way you like me?” I looked down after finishing, half horrified, half relieved to have finally spoken the words.
When he didn’t answer, I forced myself to look up at him again. He still seemed to be confused but appeared to be mulling something over in his head. I hoped I wouldn’t have to say anything further…because I didn’t think I’d be capable of speaking again, my throat was so tightly constricted by anxiety.
In a moment, I understood where his thoughts had been treading. “Did I do something to make you think that?” he asked, scrutinizing my eyes.
“No!” I answered, I knew, too quickly.
“Well, you might think I’m being silly,” he replied, his face very serious, “but I just have this feeling that you—and only you—could ever be the one for me.”
“Oh.” My chest was tight. The feeling was a convoluted mixture of pure joy and crippling despair. How could you remain someone’s one and only if you were thousands of miles away from them?
“That’s good,” I breathed a second later. But I could tell he saw the sadness in my expression, because his eyes mirrored their own back to me.
Luckily, at that moment, we came up to the cars, our turn to board. I turned away to wipe at the moisture in my eyes, not wanting to add to the gloomy emotion I’d seen reflected back in his stare.
That ride was not as calm as the haunted mansion’s had been. The coaster was of the wild mouse variety. Although there weren’t any huge hills ending in steep drops, the cars moved in a crazed, winding way with a lot of jerks and sudden turns, making Merina shriek in protest. I was still dwelling on the conversation Ron and I had just had, so I wasn’t properly enjoying the twists and turns of the ride. I glanced sideways to find him absorbed in thought as well. I nudged him in the ribs to lighten the mood, and he smiled, but his response seemed too automatic.
We rode the coaster twice more, and by the end of the third ride, we were both smiling and laughing again. The ride’s craziness of the coaster’s motion made maintaining a solemn attitude nearly impossible.
Afterward, of course, Ron dragged me back to Ghostwood Estate. By the time we’d ridden three more times—Shane becoming less enthusiastic with the shooting competition, given the growing monotony of the ride—I’d remained, mostly, indoors for almost two hours.
As we came off the last ride, I gave a big sigh of relief. Pittsburgh was ringed by the Appalachian Mountains, and the scant cloud cover that had b
egun to converge when we were coming back from the Exterminator currently formed a thick, dark mass covering the sky.
“Awww, man.” Shane scowled up at the sky. “Looks like it’s gonna rain.”
But I smiled. No more getting sick for me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ron studying me, a look on his face like he was trying to figure out a math problem. He touched his hand to the top of mine, not exactly taking it. I started to feel very uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
I looked at Shane. “Hey, if you want to take in the rest of the coasters, we’d better hurry.” I looked at Ron and faked nonchalance. “What time is it anyway?” I asked.
“Almost two.” He looked as surprised as I felt. Time really did fly when you were having fun.
“Ack! I’ll have to go in about an hour if I’m going to have dinner ready when Mom gets home!”
Ron bargained, “How about we make it two, and I’ll ‘come over’ with pizza.”
“But I’m grounded…or I’m supposed to be.”
“Well, I’m not taking you anywhere. And your mom can’t blame you if I just show up.” He looked very impressed with himself.
“Hmmm, that’s true.” I didn’t mull his plan over very long. “Okay, deal! Now, let’s go.” I slipped my hand around his and dragged him along to follow Shane, who was already several feet ahead of us.
First, we were lead to the Jack Rabbit, and then the Thunderbolt, both wooden coasters, both enormously fun. Next, we moved on to The Racer. I had no trouble standing in line-ups then and even chatted—nervously at first—with Merina. She was a sweet girl, very shy and practical. The way she spoke to me reminded me of the way I interacted with others, very tentative at first, gradually building confidence as the conversation progressed. I looked her over but could see nothing about her that would invite ridicule from others. I wondered why she was so timid. I knew my own reasons too well.
She and Shane were in the same geometry class, and she’d met him when he’d offered to tutor her after they’d gotten back their last test.
“I failed so badly!” She blushed when she admitted that and even more so when Shane teased her.
“It’s only because you had other things to concentrate on.” He indicated himself.
“Yeah, you’re ugly enough to distract anyone,” Ron remarked.
“Hey!” The pair moved away from me and Merina so they could grapple with each other as much as was possible in the cramped space allotted to us in line.
“Oh boy…” I sighed, grinning and rolling my eyes. Merina laughed, and I then had someone else to miss.
We ended up riding the racing coasters three times, as Ron was sufficiently humiliated by Shane’s bragging to call for a rematch, and the second ride had resulted in a tie. Our team came in first the third try, but when Shane started to demand another try, Merina was the one who came to my defense.
“Come on now, Shane, it’s time to go! You don’t want to get Maura in any trouble do you?”
He appraised me with narrowed eyes. “I have borne witness to your mother’s wrath and do not wish to call that down upon you…I guess.”
“Thank you,” I answered, laughing. Shane was just too funny. “I’m really sorry I have to be the one to make everyone leave early, though.”
Ron’s arm came around my shoulders. “I’m starting to get sick, myself. I’ve had enough of being tossed around for today.”
I smiled up at him but knew mine was no match for the warmth his held.
8. Pizza and a Movie…and a Little Bit of Blood
Ron dropped me off at the house with a promise to be back in an hour with the pizza. I flew through the rooms, picking up anything that had been left out of place. I barely remembered to change my sweater before hearing Caelyn pull into the driveway. She knew I was of the opinion the garment was too special to wear to school.
I ran into the kitchen to greet her, hoping my face wasn’t too flushed from all my efforts. I’d changed into my least childishly-patterned pajamas, deciding it was too dangerous to act like I’d been to school when the risk of discovery was too high. Such casual attire would also make it seem like I wasn’t expecting Ron to come over at all.
She entered bearing a bag of groceries cradled in one arm.
“Oh, Mom! I could’ve helped you with those.” I ran to take the bag from her.
“It’s okay, Maura. I guess you were sick today?” The school must have called her at work! Good thing I didn’t try to act like I’d been there all day.
“Yeah, stomach flu. But I feel a lot better now.”
She seemed to grow overly concerned when I said that. “Did you throw up?” She put the bag down on the counter, ignoring my attempts to relieve her of her burden, and put a hand to my forehead.
“Yes, Mom.” At least that part wasn’t complete untruth. “But I’m fine. I said I feel better. I even kept some food down.” I didn’t like the way she was overreacting. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.
“Your face is all red.” The back of her hand was pressed against a cheek.
“Mom…” I heard his car. Stupidly, I stiffened in response.
“Are you expecting someone?”
“No. You?” I asked innocently. She threw me an annoyed look and strolled over to the front door. I heard her gasp in surprise. To busy myself—and keep my hands from shaking—I started unpacking the groceries so I could put them away.
I stared at the pile of meat I’d been stacking on the counter. My mother had purchased ten double packs of New York strip steaks. Maybe she was planning a cookout before we moved next month? I stared down at the blood-red meat.
Like a distant echo, I could hear Caelyn greeting Ron at the door. I should’ve been anxious for her reaction to his uninvited presence, but for some weird reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off the raw meat. Almost like I was standing outside myself watching, I was disgusted to find I was licking my lips as I poked at the cool thickness with a finger to make blood seep out into the white Styrofoam tray.
Ridiculously, my mouth watered, and a fierce hunger pang gripped at my stomach, causing my abdomen to growl in protest. The voices in the living room were white noise, almost indiscernible. I slit the plastic open with the nail of my index finger. Holding the tray to my face, I inhaled, taking the raw, bloody scent into my head. I didn’t consciously make the small sound of desire that slipped out.
When Ron and my mother came into the kitchen, I had one of the worst moments of my life.
I saw Ron’s mouth drop open in shock as he observed the girl he had spent a mostly typical, pleasant day with at the amusement park greedily chomping into a raw hunk of beef. Caelyn, strangely, didn’t look as surprised, but I could tell she didn’t like what she’d found me doing. My conscious mind was suddenly back in control as my eyes widened at the looks on their faces. I froze, not knowing honestly what I was going to say or do next. The moment felt unsalvageable.
Caelyn moved first. She turned to Ron, effectively blocking his view of me by stepping in between us and taking the pizza out of his hands. She was probably as afraid as I was that he would drop the box onto the linoleum. I took full advantage of her strategic move and transported myself and the mangled piece of meat over to the sink. I dropped the steak there and turned on the water to wash my face and hands. Some instinct inside me forced me to lick the blood from my fingers before thrusting them under the stream coming from the tap. Part of me noticed Caelyn catching sight of that from where she stood at the countertop as she placed the pizza box there. She didn’t seem to be nearly as disgusted with me as I was myself.
I was incredulous at the part of me fighting against grabbing the steak up again and chewing at the rubbery meat until that delicious flavor was once again running over my tongue, flowing down my throat…
Caelyn cleared her throat and casually wiped at her chin. I realized the signal she was giving and splashed water over the lower half of my face. I grabbed a paper towel to dry myself, ghastly af
raid of turning around to face Ron.
Caelyn seemed determined to bring about a return to normalcy.
“Maura.” Her voice belied nothing unusual. She lifted a smaller package from the top of the pizza box. “Ron brought over a movie. Wasn’t that nice of him?”
I looked at her; my eyes felt all buggy. I couldn’t speak, so I nodded my head, feeling like the moment was playing out in slow motion, like the air around me had congealed into something viscous. The inside of my head was trying to preserve my sanity by offering up suggestions like, *Maybe he didn’t notice the steak was raw.*
“Since your friend is here, don’t you think you should go upstairs and comb your hair?” She’d moved closer to me and smoothed a comforting hand over the back of my head. I nodded numbly again and walked very quickly to the stairs, not daring to meet his eyes when I walked past him.
I heard Caelyn say the word “anemic” before I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me.
It took me quite a little while to compose myself before I could even summon the will to climb to my feet. As soon as I was safely hidden in the bathroom, I’d slid to the floor and curled up tightly, hugging my knees. Absolute horror overtook me.
Why? Why had I just done that?! The scariest part was that I’d known he was in my house, but I still couldn’t help myself from gnawing at the bloody steak. And why did I even feel a compulsion to put something so gross in my mouth—only the raw meat hadn’t been gross. It was good. Really good. My mouth watered as I remembered the taste, even as I sat on the cold floor, castigating myself for what had just happened.
I wanted to cry but was too mortified to form any tears. What could possible fix could there be for what I’d done?
A soft knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll be down later, Mom.” My voice trembled.
“Can I come in?” It was him. I didn’t say anything. “Please, Maura? Please?”
I still couldn’t say anything.
The door eased open. My eyes grew large, afraid of what his expression might say to me.
He was smiling…a real smile, like I hadn’t just consumed raw meat and licked blood off my hands, right before his eyes, in my kitchen. My expression must have been something to behold, because he rushed over to me and knelt on the floor beside me.
“Are you okay?” When I wouldn’t meet his gaze, he lifted my chin with his hand. “Speak, please? Say something…anything.”
How could he treat me in such a way, as if nothing weird to the extreme had just happened? Maybe there was far more wrong with me than my mother was willing to admit. I could feel my eyes getting glassy, but I couldn’t even blink.
“Come on.” He shifted around to kneel in front of me and clasped both my hands so he could pull me to my feet. “Your pizza is going to get cold.” Avoidance. I liked that tactic.
“Okay.” He heaved a sigh that I hoped was relief when I spoke.
More avoidance. “I like those pajamas, way cuter than the rabbit ones.” Those were pink with multicolored hearts all over the top and bottoms. I was suddenly self-conscious that he might have thought I was trying to say something with the pattern I’d chosen…but remembered half a second later that I had way more to be worried about than my choice of wardrobe for the evening.
I let him lead me, one arm curled around my waist and the other extended to grasp my hand in his, as I stumbled along, blindly, beside him. I wondered how he could stand to touch me after witnessing my repulsive behavior.
He leaned in to whisper, before we started down the stairs, “Oh, and by the way, your mom told me about your ‘stomach flu’ this morning. Nice cover.” I looked at him, and he winked at me. I was stunned he could be so casual.
Maybe I’d come home and fallen asleep after the park. Maybe I was having a nightmare, and the whole catastrophic night had never happened. That must be the case. No one could possibly be so calm after… I cringed at the memory.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. We were taking the stairs, one at a time, then. Was he serious? How could anything ever be okay again?
Caelyn was kneeling in front of the DVD player, putting in a disc. “Hey, Maura, I brought you a plate.” I could see avoidance had become the agenda for the evening. That suited me just fine.
I gave the tactic a shot. “Um, what movie did you bring?” I was surprised by the smoothness of my voice.
“Serendipity. Seen it?”
“Nope.”
“I knew it would be something you like. It’s very cute.” He made sure Caelyn was busy with the player and touched the tip of my nose. “Just like you,” he soundlessly mouthed the words.
I smiled, but the expression felt weak. I was busy trying to push the bad memory away every time the humiliation tried to intrude on me. “What’s this one about?” I managed to ask.
“Destiny.”
I didn’t miss the sour look Caelyn shot him when he said that.
Quickly, I pulled him over to the couch, hoping to avoid anything that might serve as a reminder of the earlier events that night or topics of a brand that would upset my mother. I was already hoping the movie wouldn’t be too romantic. That would put her in a funk for a good week.
The movie turned out to be crazy romantic. After she’d finished her two slices of pizza, Caelyn had bowed out of the rest of the movie, claiming to have brought a mountain of work home. She left us, giving me a brief look of warning, the corners of her perfectly-shaped mouth turning down as she walked toward her office off the living room. She hadn’t needed to warn me; I knew she would check on us—often.
I watched the movie, entranced. The basic message of the film was that if two people were meant to be, fate would ensure they wound up together, no matter the obstacles. Ron held me lightly in lots of little ways that were easily untangled when we heard the squeak of Caelyn’s chair, alerting us she was about to intrude on our semi-privacy.
Of course, I cried at the end when the couple found each other, despite situations that seemed impossible to overcome. I tried to hide my tears, embarrassed, but Ron saw right through my lame excuse that I had something in my eye, telling me he found my crying “endearing.” I stuck my tongue out at him, and he wiped away a tear I’d missed.
We were silent for a moment. Before Caelyn could come back into the room, I had to ask. “Ron.” I dug my nails into my palms, painfully, as I spoke. “Are we going to even talk about…”
“Nope,” he cut me off, and then asked me, “and are we sneaking off again tomorrow?”
“I think I feel the stomach flu coming on again.”
He grinned at me conspiratorially.
I thought he might have kissed me when we said goodnight after Mom had left us to be alone for a minute on the front step. Well, he did…sort of. He leaned in toward me… I closed my eyes… He planted his lips…on the top of my head.
“Sleep tight, okay? Have sweet dreams.”
My head was all foggy from watching the movie and his touching me all evening. “Only if they’re of you,” I sighed at him.
I clamped my eyes shut, feeling the heat crawl up my face as I thought, *Why did I say that out loud?*
He seemed to enjoy my reaction immensely. I got one last look at his one-of-a-kind smile before he vanished into the moonless night.
I was still trying to shove away the disturbing images of what had happened in the kitchen earlier. I’d decided, though, if he wanted to ignore the whole mess, I certainly wasn’t going to argue with him. But…I had to wonder what he and Caelyn had said to one another before he’d come upstairs. She’d been smart to send him up. I would’ve never come down to face him by myself.
Luckily, I could discuss what had happened with Mom. And I needed to, wanted some kind of answer for my wildly irrational behavior.
But it just wasn’t my night.
“Sorry, Mink.” She had an armload of papers and was already making her way up the stairs. “It’ll have to be tomorrow. I still have all this to finish, and
I have a very early meeting in the morning with an important client.”
“But, Mom…” I knew I sounded whiny and also knew how much Caelyn hated that.
“I said tomorrow, Maura Maxine.” Her tone—and use of my middle name—closed the subject for the night.
Dejected, I slunk to my room, my head swimming with mysteries I couldn’t even begin to figure out by myself.
As I became a part of my private space…I knew immediately Ron had left his own stamp on my room earlier. There were several things which alluded to that fact.
First of all, my bed had been turned down. Caelyn had stopped doing so when I’d turned five. Not only had he pulled the comforter aside, but he’d also tucked under the blanket, in my place, a stuffed bunny. I could only see its ears and eyes, as my comforter was pulled up to his nose.
Secondly, there was music playing. I hadn’t even touched my computer that day, so I knew I hadn’t left the music on, myself. There was also a song playing I didn’t recognize, so I knew I hadn’t added that one to my playlist.
I walked over, smiling to myself despite everything, and interrupted the screensaver with my mouse. There in the media player was a playlist named, ‘Maura’s peaceful sleep mix by Ron.’ Even though he wasn’t there to see, my cheeks flushed with the emotion his gesture had aroused. I perused his choices, most of them lullabies by different artists, all of them quiet, serene tunes. There was a band called Muse I didn’t recognize. The name of their song was “Endlessly.” I double-clicked on that one, settling in front of the computer to Google the lyrics as I listened.
I was shocked by the deep meaning conveyed by the song’s lyrics. Was he trying to tell me he felt that way about me?
When the music ended, I clicked to replay that same song over again and stumbled over to my bed, left clumsy by the mistiness the song had brought to my eyes.
I plunked down on my side and picked up the rabbit. He was brown and white…mostly white…but with brown suede sewn inside his ears and on the bottoms of his big back feet. His nose was a mass of brown thread which perfectly matched the suede. A little tag still hung from one of his ears.
He was a Gund! One of the expensive, luxurious plushies from the jewelry store in the mall! That was all it took to make the tears spill over.
Ron had even written that the special stuffed animal was from him to me on the tag. I tried not to read too much into the fact he’d written, ‘Love, Ron,’ without much success. I also saw that the little guy’s name was Timothy.
Well, that explained the extra-long bathroom trip earlier. I’d been worried he might be sick…or worse, looking for a way to escape the house after my little stunt in the kitchen. He must’ve had help from Caelyn getting Timothy upstairs unnoticed. I hadn’t seen him carry that in….not that I’d been overly observant when he’d arrived.
I sighed. He was obviously far too good for me. But I decided to enjoy the moment anyway. I hugged the bunny close and settled in under the covers. I managed to listen to every song once…and make my way back to “Endlessly.” I drifted off to the crooning of the lead singer, promising me Ron was mine for keeps.
9. Video Games, Guitars…and Denial
In the morning, I awoke determined to catch Caelyn and discuss my bizarre behavior of the night before. But…of course, she’d slipped out of the house before I’d even opened my eyes. Either she wasn’t lying about the early morning meeting, or she was trying very hard to avoid me.
I quickly forgave her abandonment, though, when I saw what was waiting for me under the warmer—a big plate of scrambled eggs and a very rare steak. I was eating as I walked over to the table.
After I’d gulped down the delicious meat—Caelyn was right; protein was good—I realized I didn’t exactly know what time Ron was coming to pick me up. In my haste, I went screaming up the stairs, almost breaking my legs when I tripped near the top.
The shower was probably the most hurried of my life. I skipped drying my hair in favor of looking for something to wear, skimming through the dresses hurriedly. Caelyn hadn’t even put a pair of pants on me until I’d nearly turned twelve, which most likely explained my preference. There was just something about the way a skirt swirled, unconfining, about your legs. I very much preferred the way they felt than jeans hugging tightly against my skin. Like my mother, I chose simple, classy, but casual designs in dark colors.
The day’s choice was a dark grey, plain except for the ribbon trimming the edges of the long sleeves and bottom of the full skirt. Of course, all my dresses were paired with tights thick enough to hide the pallor of my long legs. Light brown Mary Janes completed the ensemble.
Some light make-up followed, but I still hadn’t dried my hair when the doorbell rang. I smoothed its unruliness down as best I could before nearly injuring myself, yet again, in my rush to get the door.
I took a deep breath to calm myself and undid the chain, turned the doorknob, my shaking hands ruining my attempt to be casual.
He was…breathtaking. Mine was stolen right away. I had no air with which to say hello.
He smiled that smile, his smile. I was awestruck.
Memories of the night before intruded on the moment. A tremor of worry at how the night had begun…the amazing movie and…
“Thank you for the Timothy!” I leapt at him, and he caught me up in a hug. “And the songs,” I added at his ear.
“You liked the surprises?”
“More than you can imagine.”
He pulled away to look at me. “I don’t know… I can imagine quite a bit.”
“I loved them.” My voice was heavy, all weighted down with emotion. “I just wish you hadn’t spent so much on the…”
He put his finger on top of my lips, silencing them. “Did you sleep good last night?” he asked. His finger moved away so I could answer.
“Oh, yes!”
“Worth every penny, so not another word about that, okay?” He smiled a sly smile.
“Okay.” That smile could have made me agree to gnaw my own hand off at the wrist.
“So what do you wanna be up to today?”
“Hmmm, I guess I kind of thought you’d decide that… I’ve got nothin’…” I started to think really hard, though.
He started to speak, but I suddenly erupted with “I know! I want to see your room! Your house!”
“Sure, okay. You ready to go right now?”
I guess my hair would have to drip dry. “Yeah, let’s go!”
I was fairly bouncing with excitement when we were in the car. He, of course, was totally at ease, singing along with The Spill Canvas on the CD player. It turned out that he only lived two streets behind mine, so ours was a short drive.
His house was much like any other on the street, two stories with a garage and a little yard. We went in the front hallway and up a short set of stairs into the kitchen. The room was decorated in cream and brown, copper cookware hanging on the wall, giving the space a very homey feel. Ron dropped his car keys on the small round table and pulled me into the living room by the hand.
I was very surprised, to say the least, to see his mother sitting on the couch. I suppose I’d just assumed she would be at work, like my own mother, so early in the morning. I felt uneasy about how she might react to our skipping school.
I managed a startled “Oh! Hello!”
Ron chuckled—the traitor—obviously unrepentant for the lack of warning on his part. My cheeks started to burn.
She didn’t seem surprised to see me, though. “You must be Maura.” She got up from the couch and extended her hand. “I’m Debbie.”
I took her hand gently in mine, saying, “Nice to meet you.” She was warm, just like him.
I would’ve expected her to have the same dark-brown hair and eyes as Ron, but she was a blue-eyed blonde. Her skin was the same deep brown as his, though, and she donned the same dazzling smile. He must have gotten his hair and eye coloring from his father.
“You too. Ron has had quite
a lot to say about you.” She gave me that kind of smile that usually holds a secret. I felt my already-red cheeks deepen with heat and color.
“Mom.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re embarrassing Maura!”
“What?” She feigned innocence. “Well, you do talk about her all the time, do you not? I’m only saying what’s true.”
It was his turn to redden a little. Debbie gave me a wink, and I knew she was allying with me against him to make me feel more comfortable. She was very likable.
Ron had had enough of our camaraderie, though, and put an arm around me to steer me toward the stairs at the back of the room. “Come on, Maura, and I’ll show you my room.” I didn’t miss the teasing look of warning he shot at his mother.
I couldn’t resist; once we were on the stairs, I asked, “So, you talk about me a lot?” I grinned up at him, feeling only a touch evil.
He rolled his eyes. “Females…this is what I get for putting you in a room together!” We were at the door to what must have been his room, then, and he led me inside without hesitation.
I wasn’t surprised to find his room was a lot like my own. Computer desk with monitor, small TV—but he sported an Xbox 360 connected to his—my mouth began to water—on his dresser, a rack of video games and DVDs. His comforter was also a midnight blue, but with a spray of stars, no moons. I was envious of his matching curtains. Mine were the color of my comforter but plain and unpatterned.
My eyes darted back longingly to the 360. “Wow, you have Xbox,” I noted, wondering if he could tell how envious I was. Caelyn refused to let me have anything other than my little PSOne. She thought the more modern games too violent for me to play.
“Yeah.” He grinned. “Wanna play something?”
When he asked, my eyes immediately started cataloging his game collection. “You have Gears of War??” I’d been agonizing over my desire to play that game since I’d seen the very cool commercials on TV.
“Let’s give it a go.” He pulled the jewel case from the rack and popped the CD out so he could slide it into the waiting console.
I took the controller he held out to me as I eased onto the edge of his bed beside him. It didn’t take too long to see what a handicap Caelyn had saddled me with by restricting my gaming to the much older system. I spent several minutes just to get the hang of walking my character around inside the elaborate graphics which made up his world. Since my older Final Fantasy games were a million miles away from a modern, first-person shooter, my kill ratio was excruciatingly humiliating. But seriously, if my mother thought the monsters in the game were going to scar my young mind or something, she was thoroughly mistaken!
“Far cry from Final Fantasy, huh?” Ron asked after the round came to an end.
“Wow, I’ll say.” My mouth still twisted in frustration. As I looked up to face him, my gaze fell across his shoulder to the far corner of the room. “No way...”
He followed my eyes. “Oh, that?’ he uttered with complete nonchalance.
“Oh, that?” I mimicked back at him, sarcastically. “I didn’t know you played.” My eyes flicked back to the pair of guitars, one acoustic and one electric, standing side by side. I wondered how I’d missed seeing them before. “Wow, I guess you’re just great at everything?”
He rolled his eyes. “Hardly!”
“Play something for me?”
“Awww, c’mon…. I haven’t been playing that long. Wouldn’t you rather shoot some more monsters?” He grinned hopefully.
“Nope.” I crossed my arms and pulled out my most stubborn pout. I was fully prepared to sit frozen like that all day.
“Wow, that’s impressive…okay, okay.” He rolled his large, dark eyes. “But it’ll have to be the acoustic. There’s no way Mom will be cool with the amp this early in the morning.”
He rose and moved to pick up the light-colored guitar, settling after back into place at the foot of the bed, only facing me then. After the first few chords, I recognized the song. He even sang the words to “Hey There Delilah” as he played. When he got the part about the thousand miles, though, I suddenly became very sad. So much so, that tears welled up in my eyes. He seemed to catch my mood and stopped playing. I hoped it wasn’t some kind of sign he hadn’t reached the optimistic portion of the lyrics.
“I guess we have to face it.” I couldn’t stand to see such sadness in his eyes.
“We can’t keep avoiding the fact I’m moving a country away in a few weeks, huh?” I was embarrassed by the break in my voice. I never even allowed myself to cry in front of my mother.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to leave.” It was the first time I’d said such thoughts out loud. As sad as I was, it felt kind of good to voice the sorrow that had been welling up inside me.
“Maybe you could stay here!” His eyes lit up with revelation. “I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind. We have an extra bedroom.” He’d taken up both my hands in his excitement. You’d have thought he’d just won the lottery, the way he was grinning.
I, however, did not share his enthusiasm. “You obviously don’t know my mother like I do.”
“But you’re old enough to make your own decisions…”
“But—not old enough to do so legally,” I reminded him. “Even if I could leave Caelyn—er, Mom—alone, and I just can’t do that. She…well, she’s been through a lot, and I’m all she has. Even if I could, trust me; she would never let me go.”
His mood visibly deflated. “Oh…”
“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked. I wasn’t just trying to divert his attention to alleviate his sadness, but my last comment had also reminded me of the recent weirdness infecting my life lately.
“Sure.” He made an honest attempt at a real smile. My hands were still captured within his own, and I was very aware of their warmth. Ron started running his thumbs over the tops of my still-very-cool skin, almost derailing my train of thought completely.
I refocused and firmed up my resolve
“Have you ever felt like…well, like something weird is going on? Like things about you are changing for no good reason, and you’re not sure why?”
“Hey, I’m a teenage guy. Are you kidding?” The last word came out as a chuckle.
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, I’ll give you that one, but I’m being serious.” I lowered my head because I was afraid of what my expression might look like to him. “Sometimes I wonder what’s happening to me.”
When I brought my eyes back to his face, he wore a very serious expression. I felt his hands tighten around my own.
“Just what exactly do you mean, Maura? Is something wrong? Is there something you’ve been keeping from me?” His words all came out in a rush so that I didn’t really have time to answer the first two questions. I pondered a moment over the last, because the answer to that one was a definitive “yes.”
My hesitation only agitated him further. “Maura!!”
I suddenly wished I hadn’t broached that topic of conversation.
“You know what? I think it’s just like you said and is all normal, teenager type stuff.” I brightened my tone in order to sound more convincing.
“If it were about normal stuff, I don’t think you’d look half as worried as you did half a minute ago.” He eyed me with suspicion.
I laughed, hoping to throw him off. “Well, it’s just changes in things. Like my hair…and cravings…normal stuff, really.” And completely whacked stuff like thinking my own blood tastes awesome! I kept that part to myself.
He was quiet for a long moment and then resigned himself to acceptance. “Well, you know…if there’s ever anything you want to talk about, I’m here. And I’d hope, if anything was wrong, you’d let me know—that you trust me at least that much.” His eyes were all soft and faintly misty. I felt like I might fall into them, like a fish racing down, down into the safe blackness of the ocean depths.
“Oh, Ron, I do trust you!” I just don’t want you to run scre
aming away.
“Good,” was all he said. Then, he took me by surprise as he pulled me into his arms. We sat like that for what seemed like a very long time. I pushed the side of my head into his chest as hard as I could to better hear the steady, comforting sound of his heartbeat.
Finally, he said, “Do you want to give the monster hunt one more chance?”
“You bet!”
When I woke up, Ron was still asleep. Before starting the game again, we’d crawled up to the top of the bed so we could rest our backs against the headboard. When his beefed-up soldier had started trying to walk through a wall, I’d looked over to find him sleeping. Watching his peace-filled features, I memorized them for the time when I wouldn’t be able to see him every day…every week…every month… How long would it be until I could see him again after we’d moved so far away? Would I even get to see him again at all? No! I pushed that thought from my mind and promised myself that, of course, we would find a way to see one another someday soon. I would hold onto that. The last thought running through my head, before succumbing to sleep myself, was the observation that his lower lip was just a bit fuller than the upper one…
I rose up on one elbow to look at the clock. Whew…only 10:23 AM. We still had loads of time before I had to be home. Some thought was nagging at me, though. That awful feeling you get when you’ve forgotten something was pervading my gut. What day was it again? Wednesday. Wednesday! I was surprised Caelyn hadn’t reminded me about my dentist appointment after school that day. Very unlike my mother… The school bus had usually dropped me off there on my way home, so I could meet my mother, for past appointments. I hoped Ron wouldn’t mind taking me. It was too late to call and cancel. Besides, a dental checkup was probably another thing Caelyn would want taken care of before all the upheaval moving would cause. I was in no mood for the lecture she’d give me for ‘forgetting.’
I looked around the room while Ron slept on, trying to unravel the mystery he still was to me. I only wished I could have more time to get to know him.
On the walls were two silkscreened banners. Nailed to the far wall, straight across from the bed, a skeletal figure with crazy hair brandished an axe under the full moon. “Killers,” in bloody red script, stood out against the background of angry looking clouds. To the left hung another with a simpler design. The silky square merely displayed the words ‘Black Sabbath’ with no other embellishment.
Rising Tide: Dark Innocence Page 5
