by Jon Scieszka
Mr. Chimp nods his head.
“. . . that a robot could . . . laugh so hard!”
“And feeeeel so good!” adds Klank with another laugh.
Mr. Chimp turns his Robot-Tickle Machine to OFF.
Klink sets himself upright.
Klank stands up and straightens his head.
Mr. Chimp puts an arm around Klank and gives him a pat. Klank wraps Mr. Chimp in a full body hug.
“You are my newest and very best friend!” says Klank.
“And you really understand us,” adds Klink.
Mr. Chimp wiggles out of Klank’s hug, and signs:
“Anything for my friend,” says Klank. “Do you want me to crush cans?”
Mr. Chimp shakes his head.
“Klink can shoot lasers for you!”
Mr. Chimp shakes his head again. He walks over to his worktable and unrolls the plans for his Space-Time Capsule.
Klink rolls over to take a look. He scans the drawings in two seconds. “Oh, I see. You need to increase your Space-Bend Function to smooth out your Return Warp Drive.”
Mr. Chimp rechecks his drawings. He sees what Klink has instantly figured out.
Mr. Chimp leads Klink over to his Space-Time Capsule. Klink directs Klank to lift the capsule so he can start working.
“Now this is fun,” beeps Klank. “But I do have one very important question.”
Mr. Chimp turns to Klank.
“Do you have any more . . . Garfield books?”
Mr. Chimp laughs a real chimp laugh.
Mr. Chimp puts on his yellow helmet.
Frank Einstein runs down Pine Street, turns right on Elm Street, then left on Maple Street. Watson and Janegoodall hustle to keep up with him.
“Where are we going?” says Janegoodall.
“And what is our great idea?” asks Watson.
Frank slides to a stop in front of a shop. “Here!”
Janegoodall and Watson look up and read the shop sign.
“Sew What?”
“Yes,” says Frank. “I’m sure they will have exactly what we need. The idea you have both given me to fix the Space-Time Transporter. Just what we need to get Grampa Al . . . and bring him back. Come on.”
Frank swings open the old metal-and-glass door.
Janegoodall and Watson follow.
None of them notice the little man in coveralls, standing in the shadows of the building across the street, watching them.
Outside the Sew What shop, time passes.
Cars drive past. East and west.
The oversize standing street clock ticks off the seconds, one, two, three, four, five, six . . .
Overhead, white clouds drift across the blue sky.
Shadows of the buildings slowly lengthen across the street.
The man in the coveralls watches the store.
The clock ticks.
The bell to the Sew What store jangles. Frank Einstein bursts out of the store carrying a large brown-paper-wrapped package under one arm.
The small man covers his face, pretending to read a newspaper.
“Yes!” Frank calls to his friends.
Watson and Janegoodall still look a bit puzzled.
But all three of them run down the street, back toward Einstein Labs.
As soon as they round the corner, the coverall-wearing Inspector drops the newspaper and runs into Sew What.
Buttons? Fabric? Needles? The Inspector wonders what Frank Einstein could possibly need for his invention that would come from this store.
He greets the saleslady at the counter.
“Hello, I am . . . Inspector . . . Tedison. My good friends were just in here. And they need another one of whatever it is they just bought.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
The Inspector feels his moustache sliding off one side. He quickly catches it, pressing it back on.
“Most unusual . . .”
“Yes, yes, I know. But I . . . I mean we . . . need another one. Right now.”
“Hmmmmmmmmm.”
“Just in case anything happens to the first one, you know?”
The saleslady nods. “Oh, I see. That makes sense.” She eyes the little man up and down once more. “Well, wait here. Let me check and see if I can find another.”
She goes into the shop’s back room.
The Inspector pushes his moustache back in place again.
He spots an ant walking slowly across the counter. Where is that saleslady? What is taking so long? The ant walks. She has been back there forever.
The saleslady reappears. She drops a large package on the countertop. “You are in luck! This is the last one. Folks don’t usually need such a big one, you know.”
“No,” says the Inspector, “I’m sure they don’t,” having no idea what the saleslady is talking about. “But you never know when you are going to need a really big . . .”
The saleslady opens the package.
The Inspector looks, and can’t help but make a weird face when he looks . . . and sees an absolutely gigantic:
“. . . zipper?!”
19 A
Frank Einstein clears everything off his lab workbench, and unrolls the giant zipper. “Genius! You two are complete geniuses!”
Janegoodall and Watson look around the lab. There is no one else there but them. Frank must be talking to them.
“We are?” asks Watson.
“The answer was right here in front of us.” Frank digs through his shelves. “We just had to tweak the idea. Work together . . .”
Janegoodall zips and unzips the zipper. “And what exactly are we tweaking?”
“Aha!” Frank pulls out a wooden frame stretching a rubber sheet. “I’ll show you.” Frank sets the frame up on the table. “Einstein’s theory of relativity.”
“Oh, of course you will,” says Watson. “And I’m guessing you don’t mean your little cousin Freddy Einstein’s theory.”
“Very funny, Watson. But no. The Albert Einstein theory. From one hundred years ago. The theory that gravity is not really a force. But just a property of space-time.” Frank points to the rubber sheet. “Observe—space-time.”
Frank rolls a small marble along a line across the sheet.
“An object in space-time moves in the straightest possible line.”
Janegoodall rolls the marble straight back.
“But here’s what happens around a massive object in space-time.”
Frank drops a big, heavy steel ball in the middle of the sheet. It bends the rubber sheet. He rolls the same marble along the same line.
“Now the straightest possible line is curved. Gravity is not a force. It is just an effect from the way space-time is shaped. And warped.”
“Whoaaaaa!” says Watson, rolling more marbles around the steel ball. “That actually makes sense.”
“Now it does,” says Frank. “But people didn’t believe that in Einstein’s time. He was the first to figure out that maybe light and space and time bend around massive objects like planets and stars.”
“And that’s why moons orbit around planets, and planets orbit around stars,” adds Janegoodall. “Because of the shape of space-time.”
“Exactly!” says Frank.
“So that’s all great,” says Watson, “but what the heck are we doing with this giant zipper?”
“That is your genius,” says Frank. “Our tweak.” He rolls the steel ball off the sheet. “We need to get from one edge of space-time to the other edge to get Grampa Al.”
Frank rolls the marble across the sheet again.
“But it takes too much energy . . . and too much time to get from one side to the other.”
Janegoodall rolls the marble back. “We could roll it faster.”
“Can’t go faster than the speed of light. Which is still too slow.”
“Throw it over the sheet!” guesses Watson.
“Closer,” says Frank. “What if . . .” He takes the rubber space-time sheet out of
the frame and folds it over. “. . . We folded space-time . . .”
Janegoodall sees it. “Then Point A would be right next to Point B.”
Frank nods. “And what if we connected the two, with something like . . .” Frank holds up the giant zipper.
Janegoodall nods. “You could go from A to B in no time!”
Watson stares at the folded sheet and the zipper.
“That is . . . completely crazy and impossible.”
“Which is exactly what people said about the telescope . . . and the zipper,” says Frank. “And it’s why we are going to need everyone’s help.” Frank checks his calculations. “But we need to do this quick! Our best shot is tonight at 11:11.11.”
Watson groans. “Of course it is.”
Frank ignores Watson. He pulls up his Space-Time Transporter invention. “You guys start connecting these diodes to either side of the zipper. I am going to go tell Klink and Klank I am so sorry. And tell them we need them.”
Unseen by any of the three, a small black wire camera and mic disappear from the crack by the door.
Outside, a small man in coveralls again tucks the snake camera inside his pocket. He hurries down the street.
Another street clock ticks . . . seeming so much faster than the other . . . toward 11:11.11.
Frank hops down the lab workshop steps two at a time to find Klink and Klank.
Frank flings opens the workshop door. “Klink and Klank, I am so sorry I forgot about you. Can you—”
Frank stops. He looks around.
He is talking to no one.
The workshop is empty.
Klink and Klank have—
vanished.
19 B
The little man in the coveralls clears everything off his lab workbench and unrolls his giant zipper.
He takes off his coveralls and his moustache.
He calls, “Mr. Chimp? Mr. Chimp! Come here! I need you.”
T. Edison—because of course that’s who it was this whole time—tests the zipper, then positions his titanium boxes containing the T. Edison FasterThanTheSpeedOfLight Transport Device on either side of the zipper.
He mutters to himself, “Space-time . . . curved. So why not . . . space-time folded? . . . space-time zippered? Of course! I am so glad I thought of that!”
T. Edison connects input and output wires from his boxes to either side of the zipper.
“I think I will call it—the T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device.”
T. Edison works, calculates, works some more. He checks the lab clock. It’s getting late. He realizes he is going to need help. He calls over his shoulder, “Okay, Mr. Chimp! I am sorry I called you a brainless monkey! I will never do that again!”
From down the hall, nothing.
“Ever!”
Silence.
T. Edison zips and unzips the zipper. He checks the recording he made with his snake cam.
He reverses, forwards, and freeze-frames the video, copying Frank Einstein’s plans and connections.
The clock ticks closer to 11:11.11.
“Okay,” says T. Edison.
He drops the giant zipper. He picks up a shopping bag and walks down the deserted hall to Mr. Chimp’s office.
“I said I’m sorry! What more do you want? A special invitation? A bag of bananas? Well, guess what I’ve got? Yes! A huge bag of bananas.”
T. Edison swings open the door to Mr. Chimp’s office.
“Now come on, we’ve got invention work to do.”
But T. Edison is talking to no one.
Just a desk, a chair, an empty space capsule, and a stack of Garfield books.
Mr. Chimp has—
vanished.
The mechanical chimp crashes his cymbals CLANG CLANG CLANG.
Grampa Al smiles.
Fixed it!
All the little guy needed was his mainspring reset.
Grampa Al hears a whooshing noise. Its pitch goes higher and higher . . . like the Doppler effect you hear when a siren is moving toward you.
Grampa Al wonders, What could be so loud? So large? Approaching so fast?
What is that black dot?
Igor purrs.
Igor stretches.
Igor looks up at the lights in the sky.
The sky ahead is bluish, brighter.
The sky behind is reddish, dimmer.
Igor, being a science-smart lab-cat thinks, That’s interesting. Like the Doppler effect, which changes the pitch of sound, light changes wavelength and color when it is moving closer or farther away.
Igor knows the increase of wavelength is called redshift.
He knows the decrease of wavelength is called blueshift.
But Igor licks a paw and wonders,
What is moving away?
What is moving closer?
20 A
The clock in Frank Einstein’s garage lab ticks away the seconds.
10:33.16
10:33.17
10:33.18
Frank attaches the Gravity Flow cables to both sides of the giant zipper suspended from the lab rafters.
“Where could they be?” asks Janegoodall, wiring the Light Spectrum Meter to the zipper’s Lower Stop.
“No telling,” answers Watson, stitching reflective silver space blankets on either side of the zipper. “Where do robots go to have fun?”
“I feel like it’s my fault,” says Frank. “I should have told Klink we needed him.”
“You shouldn’t feel too bad,” says Janegoodall. “Look, we made the whole zipper space transport device without their help.”
“That’s the other thing that worries me. I’m not sure we got the RETURN HOME feature right.”
Klink would know. Klank would be able to test it.
The clock ticks:
11:10.33
11:10.34
11:10.35
“What?!” says Watson. “Now you tell us?”
“So we might find Grampa Al,” says Janegoodall, “but never get back to this time and space? Or we could possibly disappear into a black hole?”
“Pretty much,” says Frank. “Yeah. You don’t have to go. But I’m going.”
Watson and Janegoodall hesitate a beat.
“Like heck you are going alone.”
“We are in.”
Frank smiles.
“Okay, grab on,” says Frank Einstein. “Ready or not—here is the Space-Time Zipper!”
“I don’t really love that ‘or not’ part,” says Watson nervously.
All three grab the Space-Time Zipper Pull Tab.
The clock ticks:
11:11.09
11:11.10
11:11.11
The lab lights dim blue. The zipper lights pure white.
“Now!”
Frank, Janegoodall, and Watson yank down the Space-Time Zipper Pull Tab.
And disappear.
20 B
The clock in the ChimpEdison Laboratories ticks away the seconds.
10:33.16
10:33.17
10:33.18
T. Edison attaches the Gravity Flow cables to both sides of the giant zipper suspended from the frame.
“Where could that stupid monkey be?” T. Edison mutters, wiring the Light Spectrum Meter to the zipper’s Bottom Box Stop.
T. Edison stitches reflective silver space blankets on either side of the zipper. “Where do monkeys go to have fun?”
T. Edison loops the last stitch.
“It’s not my fault he’s missing out on such a great invention.”
He clears the table.
“Though I don’t feel too bad.”
T. Edison stands back and admires his handiwork.
“Look, I’ve made this whole T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device without his help.”
T. Edison tosses Mr. Chimp’s book in the corner.
“I’m brilliant. I’m sure I’ve got every bit of this right!”
The clo
ck ticks:
11:10.33
11:10.34
11:10.35
“I will find that idiot cat, too. And make millions off this invention. And everyone will know my name. Pretty much forever.”
T. Edison smiles at the thought.
“Okay. Ready for my . . . T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device.”
T. Edison grabs the T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device Pull Tab.
The clock ticks:
11:11.09
11:11.10
11:11.11
The lab lights dim blue.
The T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device lights up pure electromagnetic white.
“Now!”
T. Edison yanks down the T. Edison Space-Time Relativity Fastening and Unfastening Device Pull Tab.
And disappears.
The first thing Frank notices is the sun moving, twisting, changing shapes.
The second thing Frank notices is Watson and Janegoodall moving, twisting, changing shapes.
“Whoaaaaaa!” says Watson. “Frank! Your head is all blobby!”
Janegoodall laughs. “Look who’s talking, crazy-feet Watson!”
Frank waves a multiple hand through the air. “Check this out—we can see blood moving inside us, electrical nerve paths, cells growing and collapsing . . .”
Watson picks up a leafy tree branch. “Why am I seeing this as a seed and a tree and as dead wood?”
“Time is just another dimension,” says Frank. “Like height and width and depth. We are in the right place.”
Janegoodall’s head stretches to a long, thin oval . . . and then disappears. “And what place is that? With Einstein in Wonderland?”
“Kind of,” says Frank. “We are in a parallel universe. With an entry somewhere near Alpha Andromedae. We are seeing in four and five and maybe six dimensions. This is where I lost Grampa Al.”
Watson spirals off into a fractal shape.
“Well, we better find him quick! ’Cause I am about to lose my lunch . . . in all four or five or six dimensions.”
